Volume twelve

"I feel like I never see you anymore." I spoke to Saymon.

"I'm with you everyday?" He said in a question like tone.

"No, you with Kee and them everyday and accidentally run into me because I be with one of the girls."

"That's not true." He spoke getting me annoyed.

"When the last time we had sex?" I asked as he started thinking. "Exactly, that's how long we been away from each other that you can't even remember the last time we had sex."

"I didn't think it was that serious since we see each other everyday." He shrugged.

"So you don't think spending time with me is important?"

"I'm not saying that, I'm saying since we always together I thought it was enough."

"Maybe if you wasn't in the streets, you wouldn't-"

"Here you go."

"Here I the fuck go!" I raised my voice since he cut me off.

"This another reason."

"Another reason for what?"

"That I don't be wanting to be with you and just you, every time we together you find some way to bring up that I'm selling again like aight Sanaa I get it, you don't like the shit but nobody wanna hear that when they just wanna chill with their girl."

"You know what I don't wanna hear? "Saymon got locked up, Saymon got shot, Saymon dead."." I looked at him. "Yeah, you like quick money I understand that but you got out that life for a reason, what the fuck are you going back for?"

"I told you when I have enough saved for my mother to live comfortably then I'll stop."

"Your mother?" I asked loudly. "She lives comfortably period! She just got a damn 2019 car, she's perfect. Stop trying to make excuses and just gimme the real."

"And what's the real?"

"You don't wanna stop because you got used to the damn money and you wanna be greedy knowing you don't need this."

"You like getting ya nails done, right? Ya hair? All those-"

"You fucking tried it Saymon." I looked at him like he was stupid. "I have a damn mother, brother, sister and a Godmother. If I needed anything, I can always ask them. If I really needed anything I would fucking get a job, don't ever make it seem like I'm dependent on you."

"Nana, you-"

"What if the shoe was on the other foot? What if I was doing what Dylan was doing, would you like it?"

"If it's making you money and you needed it then fine."

"Bet, Imma hit up Ice right now cause he was talking bout he needed somebody to set up this nigga."

"I'll really fuck you up." He snatched my phone.

"I knew you was lying cause you know damn well you wouldn't like that shit."

"You right, I was lying but that's two different things."

"How? Both putting their life in danger and both making quick money, where's the difference?"

"Whatever Nana." He waved me off knowing I was right.

"You did all this fighting for me for what?"

"What you mean by that?"

"Janey wanted you to go back to dealing and you went the fuck off, now you get with me and it's all you do. If you ain't want a girl who actually wanna see you do something with your life then what did you do that for? You coulda left me the fuck alone."

"You really taking it further than it needs to be." He looked at me blankly.

"Until you stop being in the streets, we don't have a relationship." I spoke as he squinted his eyes .

"You serious?"

"Dead."

"So you really breaking up with me because-"

"You'll rather throw ya fucking life away instead of growing up. You have 2 jobs, pay every week, you a damn manager and supervisor like seriously Saymon? We talked about so much shit just for you to go back on your word. What happened to signing up for EMT training?"

"But what breaking up gon do?"

"Because in a relationship we supposed to be 50/50, whatever you go through I go through. When you down I'm there to get you up so if you some shit happen to you what about me? I already pray for my brother safety every second I know he doing some shit, I refuse to do that with my boyfriend."

"You tripping." He chuckled standing up. "If this what you want then I'm gone, I ain't finna be with somebody who don't wanna be with me."

"Literally missed the whole point of my argument." I shook my head as he walked out my room.

I heard the front door slam as I turned on the t.v, I went to Hulu going to SVU. I was a little down but I was standing by my decision, I didn't have to settle for anything or anybody.

~

"Where's Saymon?" My mom asked as we ate breakfast.

"I don't know, we aren't together anymore."

"Why?" She furrowed her eyebrows.

"Because I shouldn't have to care about someone more than they care about their self."

"You're absolutely right." She agreed. "Is this about the selling thing?"

"Yes mommy I'm not his mom, I'm his girlfriend and he's older than me, he should know better than he do. You make 20 an hour at one job then 18 at the other, yeah it's a check to check job but you have to get somewhere by doing something."

"What happened to the EMT training?"

"He never signed up, he'll rather stand around a bunch of niggas then start a career."

"Some people don't even know the difference between a job and career." She drank her drank making me nod.

"Seriously."

"So what about prom? It's in a week."

"I honestly don't know, I can't even ask him because he blocked me."

"Go with Face."

"Face supposed to go with Esme."

"I miss her, what she been up to?"

"She has her own shop now, own apartment and car coming soon. Sis is grinding."

"That's so good considering everything she been through, I'm proud of her. Imma go put some money in her pockets." She smirked making me chuckle.

She walked away as I called Bubby, he ain't answer making me sigh after like two minutes he called me back.

"Are you around Say?" I asked once he picked up.

"Why you ain't call his phone?"

"He has me blocked."

"Why?"

"We broke up."

"Bitch, you broke up with my fucking sister? She the best thing that happened to your broke miserable ass life."

"Face." I sighed laughing.

"Nana single?" Ice asked.

"Suck my dick, I ain't break up with nobody."

"Can you put him on the phone?"

"Wassup?"

"Why did you block me?"

"We ain't got nothing to talk about."

"So we aren't going to prom together?"

"What time you want me to pull up?"

"Around 5 since-"

"5? Got it." He hung up making me frown at the phone.

I rolled my eyes walking into Face old room where Spencer was sleeping, her and Kreed was knocked out making me smile. I walked back out make sure I wasn't making any sound, I saw my mom about to leave the house making me stop her.

"Where you going?"

"Damn Sanaa shit." She jumped making me laugh. "I'm going to meet somebody."

"Somebody like who?"

"None?"

"None?" I repeated confused.

"None of ya damn business." She said closing the door making me laugh cause she got me.

Ever since I broke up with Saymon, I've been bored. Unless Jala or Jaelyn come over here I don't see them, Esme haven't been around for a minute now and wasn't really talking to nobody. The only time you can have a conversation with her is if she doing your hair.

I needed some new damn friends.

I just decided I would just go out to eat by myself, I went to go change and as soon as I walked out Spencer and Kreed was in the kitchen.

"Where you going?" She asked.

"Was going to get some jerk chicken."

"From where?"

"That place down Anton."

"I'm coming." She yawned.

"Girl, you just did a 15 hour shift you-"

"Sanaa, that 15 hour shift like 3 hours to me. I'm well rested, let me just go change Kreed shirt."

"I'll go wait in the car." I told her grabbing Kreed high chair.

I waited for like 10 minutes before they both walked out in different clothes making me roll my eyes, as soon as they was both in the car I pulled off heading that way.

"What you doing bout prom?" I asked.

"Nothing, I'm going by myself. I wasn't going to go but I already paid for my dress and shoes and I set my makeup appointment and shit so." She shrugged. "What you doing?"

"I called him today to see if we was still going and he basically just brushed me off. I mean I know I broke up with him but we always been friends before anything so I just thought it'll be different."

"I understand. Through everything Keohn and I been through I would have never expected us to be this bad but everything happens for a reason and obviously this was for a reason."

"You and Kee was just speaking out of anger-"

"He wasn't though, yeah Keohn matured and shit but he was forced to. You think he wanted to have a family and be settled down?"

"I mean but did you?"

"Of course I was forced to grow up but not once did I say anything about me not wanting to be with him and allat, he was the one. I understand people say things out of anger but it's always some truth and since it's the truth we don't have to be together."

"Y'all just meant to be for each other, when you see Spencer you automatically think about Kee."

"Keohn is always going to be in my life, we share a child together. We do not have to be together to be parents."

"Y'all not even talking right now."

"And we're not going to. Until my feelings stop being hurt, I don't want anything to do with him."

"I hate it." I rolled my eyes.

I parked then grabbed my purse as she grabbed Kreed, he ran to the sidewalk then tried to hold the door open for us making us chuckle. We ordered then found a chair to sit down in.

"Sanaa, you know him?" Spencer asked making me turn around to see Donavon.

"Yeah, member the boy Don Janey tried to set me up with?"

"The one she ended up fucking with?"

"Yeah."

"Well he coming over here."

Before I could say anything he was already at the table, he smiled at me making me smile. "Hi Don."

"Wassup Sanaa, I ain't see you in a quick lil minute."

"For real, I've been dealing with senior year."

"And ya boyfriend." He chuckled.

"I guess you could say that."

"Even though you had a boyfriend, what you stop being my friend for?"

"Was we ever friends?" I asked. "We met each other so we can start fucking with each other and last time I seen you you kissed me so I doubt that makes us friends."

"You right but I also ain't know you was fucking round with my manz either."

"I mean you wasn't supposed to." I shrugged. "We were never together, we just had conversation and one kiss so what did you have to know my personal business for? I wasn't in your business when you was fucking Janey before I even met you."

"How you knew I was fucking her?"

"Because I'm not stupid."

"Apparently, I was." He chuckled making me roll my eyes.

"Well it was nice to see you."

"Word, who ya friend though?" He smirked looking at Spencer as she scrunched her face up.

"I'm nobody." Spencer said with the same face.

"I'm glad I didn't continue fucking with you, you a cornball."

"Watch ya mouth."

"I don't have to do anything." I looked at him up and down. "You could really walk away cause there is no reason to still be standing here."

"If ya brother wasn't my manz-"

"He not." I chuckled. "My brother don't fuck with you."

"Suck my dick."

"Bye maddie." I chuckled.

"I hate niggas." Spencer said. "Big ass turn off."

"You heard what I said, the only reason I even wanted to fuck with you was because Janey said you was a easy fuck and she felt bad for ya ass. Bitch, I was never tripping over ya ass."

"Aye Don, watch ya shit." I heard making us look over towards the door.

"Baby, you know em?"

"That don't even matter, you know mama don't allow none of that disrespectful shit to females. You sitting here arguing with em looking like a bitch, go head."

"Crazy, I ain't a bitch but you right. I'll see you later." He nodded dabbing him up.

"My bad for my cousin." He spoke then walked away.

"Why he walk away?" I asked knowing he always be tryna talk to Spencer.

"Probably because he gave me his number and I ain't text him." She shrugged.

"So what was the point of getting his number?"

"Because I was mad at Keohn."

"Well, I'm mad at Saymon and he seem to not give a fuck about me since he talking to anything with a pussy." I rolled my eyes. "Baby!"

"Sanaa bitch." She hit me as I called him over.

"Wassup?" He asked.

"You got any single friends?" I asked.

"I thought you was in a relationship, I don't like being in the middle of shit and I'm not putting my niggas in the middle either."

"Nope, I'm single so put me on."

"Well, it's a party in my hood tonight and you could come through."

"Bet, what's ya IG? I'll DM you to get the address."

He took my phone and followed his self as I smiled, I haven't been to a party since Esme new years party.

"So you forgot I have Kreed?"

"My mother can watch him."

"Sanaa, she already giving me a place to sleep. I don't want to take a advantage of nobody kindness, Kreed is my son."

"Girl." I waved her off, I was going to ask anyway.

We continued eating then put up what we didn't eat, I picked Kreed up putting him in his seat then getting in the passenger side as she drove back. When we got in the house I went to my room trying to find what I want to wear.

"Wassup?" I asked picking up the FaceTime call from Jae.

"What you doing, tonight? You down to go to Stella's and get drunk? I'm sad."

"You still not talking to Reem?"

"No." She rolled her eyes. "That's a done deal but are you up?"

"I actually had plans-"

"I hate y'all bitches, y'all see I'm sad and y'all wanna be all up under your niggas-"

"I'm single, remember?"

"Oh shit even better." She said making me laugh.

"I was actually going to this party down Anton."

"Anton? What's down there?"

"The big dick niggas who be in and out of jail." I joked.

"Bitch I'll be ready by 8:30." She hung up making me start dying, I hated Jaelyn.

I heard the front door slam making me go out my room to see my mother walking in looking down at her phone. She sat on the couch turning on the tv, I looked at her sitting down.

"Mommy, what you doing tonight?"

"Watching tv and sleep, why?"

"You mind watching Kreed while I take Spencer out? She didn't wanna ask you because she thinks it's asking for too much but she need a night to be a teenager mommy."

"Yeah, I'll watch baby bad ass." She chuckled as Spencer walked in. "Shouldn't you be getting ready?"

"For what?" Spencer asked.

"Ain't y'all going out?"

"I told her not to ask you." She rolled her eyes looking at me. "Kreed is my responsibility, I don't like asking anyone to watch him-"

"It takes a village." My mom spoke. "I was a teen mom, I know how much fun you miss out on, girl go have fun cause you know you want to."

"Thank you Yana." She smiled making me smile.

"Girl bye." My mom waved her off making me chuckle, she get on my nerves.

~

As soon as we walked into the party it was literally all eyes on us, we all chuckled walking in further ignoring the looks.

"So which one want Spence?" Jae asked as we scouted out the party.

"The boy with the dreads, he got on the Nike shorts." I told her.

"That nigga fine as hell." Jaelyn said a little too loud making me look at her. "But the one in the yellow look better and he all in ya face right now Nana."

"Ion do light skins sis." I told her looking for another fine nigga.

"Shit I do all, I don't discriminate." Jaelyn laughed. "He so fucking fine, light skin niggas with grey eyes always fucking fine."

"Always hoes too." Spencer said.

"True." I nodded. "Oh this my shit."

"Real hot girl shit!" Damn near every bitch yelled.

I felt like these bitches wasn't turned up enough so Spencer, Jaelyn and I started our own shit. We was going back and forth rapping shit, I grabbed Spencer shoulder as she recorded us. Jaelyn and my ghetto ass started throwing up gang signs and shit making Spencer laugh.

"Turn her the fuck up!" I yelled as Jaelyn started twerking.

After like four songs we walked in the kitchen to get some liquor, I went to a unopened bottle and poured us all some. We started taking shots and after the third one I started feeling that shit, I was such a lightweight.

"We pop out at ya party, I'm with the gang." I said throwing up gang signs as Spencer recorded me taking another shot.

"Y'all bitches so ghetto." Spencer shook her head making us laugh.

"Aye Nana?" Baby said making me turn around to see he had some fine ass dark skin nigga behind him.

"Wassup Baby?" I hugged him looking at the boy.

"This my Manz JoJo." He introduced as I looked at him.

"How you doing?" He licked his lips looking me up and down.

"I'm good." I smirked.

"Ain't nobody introduce me but I'm they bestest bitch JaeB, the B for big body Benz and ya friend in the yellow fine as hell." Jaelyn said as I started rolling.

"Bitch." Spencer said laughing as they chuckled.

"You talking bout Dai?" He nodded towards him as we saw some bitch dancing on him. "If you the cuffing type, he ain't for you."

"Boy its a hot girl summer, ain't no cuffing."

"I'll tell em wassup."

"Nah, I'll tel him wassup myself I just need him over here."

"I got you." He said as they both walked away.

"Spencer why you not on his body yet?" Jaelyn asked making me wonder the same.

"I've been in one relationship my whole life, it just ended I can't just forget about that."

"Who say forget about it?" I asked. "We young as hell to be letting niggas stress us out, you think these niggas out here holding out for us cause they sad?"

"I mean ain't nothing wrong with conversation." Jaelyn shrugged. "Even if it was to be more, it's still not gon be nothing wrong. You're a grown woman who's single and pay her own bills."

"And Baby seem like a good dude." I shrugged as he walked back with JoJo and Dai.

"You smoke?" JoJo asked me.

"Occasionally but I ain't with smoking right now."

"Nah you just ain't trusting it." He nodded making me chuckle. "I ain't with that lacing shit, somebody did that shit to my aunt and she ain't been the same since."

"Oh wow, I'm sorry."

"It's cool, how old are you?"

"18, you?"

"20 In three hours."

"This ya party?"

"A surprise party I guess." He chuckled.

I nodded watching him roll up, he hit it then let me. I passed it to Jaelyn who started the rotation, Spencer was talking to Baby while Jaelyn was talking to Dai. We all was in different conversations but we all would talk here and there, we spent like a hour and some change in the kitchen talking.

"Wassup JoJo?" Some girl said as I listened but continue talking to Spencer.

"Wasgood Yung?" He side hugged her.

"This you? She pretty as hell."

"Ain't she? She cool as fuck too." He chuckled. "I just met her."

"Y'all niggas some hoes!" A bitch yelled out causing us to look up.

"Y'all just sitting here in bitches faces." The girl Yung said making me furrow my eyebrows cause the switch up was real.

"Who that bitch talking to?" Jaelyn asked looking around. "Who the fuck they talking to?"

"It's about that time." Spencer chuckled, we needed to take Jaelyn high and drunk ass home.

All three niggas walked us out, I gave JoJo my number since I really did enjoy his company.

But soon as we walked out the door, my heart dropped.
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Baby is Polo G, Dai is Lil Bibby & JoJo is Roddy Rich😍🤩 if you don't know who they are google em, if you find them ugly ya business.