Volume twelve

"Black?" I called out making him look up from his phone just as mine dinged. My heart was beating so hard I could hear it in my ears as I started getting hot.

"Esme." He sighed.

Tears came to my eyes as I started looking at all three of them, the little girl looked so much like Black now that I looked harder. Looking at her mother, she was pretty, more than pretty she was gorgeous. Her body was better than mine. As I continued looking at her I noticed something.

"Your married?" I asked looking at the ring on her finger as it was one on his too.

"Esme, I promise you it's not what it seem like."

"You have a child and your married, so what was I?" I asked feeling so hurt. "What was you doing all them days you was with me? When you was buying me my dream? What was I?"

"You was-"

"I would've understood!" I kinda yelled making it seem like I was whining since I was crying. "I explained how hurt I've been in my life and you still hurt me. You was suppose to be solid, I was suppose to be your wife and have your kids."

"Esme stop." He spoke as if he was about to cry.

"I just wanted one thing to go right." I told him as I walked away from him.

"Let me explain everything to you, please Es. Don't do this, let me explain everything."

"We've been together for almost eleven months, you had every chance to tell me this." I told him wiping my face. "I don't want anything to do with you-"

"Esme please, I promise you I do not love that bitch. Please let me explain everything, I'll come by later. Please."

"No." I spoke which killed me on the inside. "I don't want anything to do with you. Here's your house key, car keys, I'll pack all your stuff-"

"For what? We not done Es, you gon understand when I explain everything to you."

"I would've understood when you asked me to be your girlfriend but now I don't wanna understand shit. Get the fuck out my face and go be with your family."

"Es-"

He didn't finish his sentence because I walked away from him, I dropped everything on the floor and grabbed the stroller walking out. I walked into a corner trying to get myself together before I called Q.

"Hello?" He answered.

"Can you come get me fave?"

"Right now? I'm doing sumn favorite."

"Okay." I cleared my throat so he couldn't hear me crying. "Thank you anyway."

I hung up but he immediately called back asking where I was, I told him as it seemed like he rushed here cause he was here in less than 10 minutes. I was confused when he got out the car but he walked over to me.

"Why you crying favorite?" He asked hugging me real tight and I just wanted to broke down because I needed that. A hug.

"I'm fine." I mumbled.

"That's not what I asked you."

"I just miss my parents." I half lied.

"C'mon." He spoke as I followed him getting in the passenger seat while he put Hero in the back. "What's wrong Esme?"

"I just told you-"

"You miss ya parents but that's not the reason, so stop lying to me as if you not my favorite sister, as if I didn't have to wipe your tears when Face broke ya heart." He told me making me cry again. "We not as close but don't ever think I don't know you anymore."

"Black was cheating on me." I mumbled making him look at me scrunching his eyebrows up.

"How you know?"

"I just saw them in Walmart, he has a whole wife and child."

Q didn't even say anything, he stopped the car making a U turn. He pulled up in front of Walmart hopping out the car leaving his door open and all as he rushed into Walmart. I called his name even though I couldn't even see him because he rushed in Walmart too fast.

Like 10 minutes passed before he walked back to the car, he pulled off real fast going down the street looking mad.

"Why niggas think they could just hurt you?" He asked glancing at me. "You got a whole fucking army behind you."

"Quade relax." I spoke seeing he was pissed off.

"I promise you when I see that nigga Imma stomp that nigga bald." He clenched his jaw. "Cause when Face broke ya heart, I couldn't do much cause that's my manz but I don't give a fuck about Black."

"This why I didn't wanna be in a relationship, I explained how hurt I been and he broke me even worse."

"Nah, he ain't break you. He just shook you a lil but it's cool cause you got me to repair you back."

"I love you so much fave." I leaned my head on him.

~

I woke up seeing Q next to me, we stayed up all night as he listened to me vent while I did the same. I needed that so much, it's like the memory of what happened at Walmart hit me as soon as I stood up making me feel a little down.

I grabbed my stuff for my shower along with some clothes since I had to change in the bathroom, as the music started playing I started crying.

Out of every way he could've moved, he decided to move like that.

I sat down as the water ran over my face while Beyonce x Resentment played loudly, I held my mouth so Q wouldn't hear me crying. I leaned my head down curling my lip as I silently cried, I was crying so hard I couldn't even breathe. This hurts, this hurts so bad.

"Es, come on and get dress." I heard Q say knocking on the door. I ignored him curling up. "Es, come on."

"I'm coming." I told him, I knew he heard the crack in my voice because I heard him sigh.

Getting up, I washed my body around three times making sure I was squeaky clean. I grabbed my blow dryer plugging it in as I put some heat protector along with leave in conditioner in it. I ran the blow dryer through it until I was satisfied, I started braiding my hair.

I was going bare face since I wasn't really in the mood to put on a face full of makeup, my lashes were really all I needed anyway. I lathered my skin along with my face then put on my undergarments. I put on my socks then my jeans and lastly the t-shirt.

I didn't understand how people put their pants on then their socks, weirdos.

I walked out the bathroom grabbing my Air Max "Have a Nice Day" 97s, I slipped them on also grabbing my jean jacket. I made sure I put down three pee pads, along with enough food and water. I put out some of his toys leaving the kitchen overhead stove light on since he don't like the dark.

My phone started ringing as I seen Q calling, I made sure I got all my stuff as I answered. I forgot my charger making me got right back in the house, I sighed making sure I had everything by checking everything in my head.

"I'm right in front."

"I'm coming now." I spoke as he hung up.

As I was coming out, the elevator was about to close making me speed towards it a little. I saw a hand hold out to make the elevator doors open back, I seen it was Nas making me roll my eyes. I thanked him then backed up towards the wall. No words were exchanged as we both rode the elevator.

"That nigga said something to you?" Q asked as I got in the car.

"No."

"I should go fuck him up just because I know he knew Black was cheating on you."

"That don't have anything to do with him."

"I'll be back." He took off his seatbelt making me grab him.

"Stop, c'mon cause I'm already late to let my employees in."

"I took the shop keys and I went to open the door." He told me making me furrow my eyebrows. "I told them it was a emergency so your appointments will be rescheduled while Terror watch over everything."

"Why?"

"Because I wanna take you somewhere."

"Where?"

"To see Dylan." He spoke.

"I doubt I'm on the visiting list."

"Esme, you cut her off not the other way. She ask about you everyday."

I didn't respond as he started driving, I seen he was going in the direction of Sanaa house making me confused. He told me to hold on as he got out like 5 minutes he came out with two big ass bowls of food, I figured they were for Dylan.

He stopped at Chipotle getting us food as I was grateful cause I was starving, I was eating while also watching the Village. As I finished the episode he was pulling up to the prison making me kinda nervous.

We got out the car as I grabbed my stuff, he told me to leave my phone and any cords or electronics along with anything pointy making me sigh. I just left my whole bag in the car, he grabbed the food as we walked in. We both signed in, only one of us could go so he went first. I was regretting not bringing my phone because I was bored as fuck, it seemed like three damn hours went by before Q walked out.

My heart started beating as I stood up to get searched, Dylan was already sitting down. Her hair was into a ponytail but it looked dry, she had a busted lip and she looked a lil bigger.

We made eye contact and my heart just started beating more, she ran to me as I held her real tight. I don't know if we weren't supposed to be touching or not but neither of us cared.

"I miss you so much." She told me as I told her it back. "Out of everybody, you was never supposed to switch up."

"Touching limit has exceeded." A CO said making us look at us.

"Shut the fuck up." Dylan yelled at him making me laugh as she continued hugging me. "You get to hug ya fucking sister how ever long you can, right?"

"I also get to leave at the end of the day."

"And you'll get put in the hospital if you keep fucking with me."

"Alright Dylan." I chuckled as we sat down.

"That's my cousin." Dylan chuckled.

"I knew he looked familiar, that's ya aunt Jackie son right?"

"Yeah." She nodded. "What's wrong with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Esme, I know you better than anyone."

"Black cheated on me." I mumbled trying not to cry as she looked at me scrunching her face up.

"I'm going to kill him. I put that on both of my dead beat ass parents, I'm going to kill him!"

"Dylan stop yelling." I whispered.

"For the fucking first time of ya life you really sit there and fall in love with this nigga and he got the audacity to do this?"

"It hurts so bad Dylan." I told her letting the tears come out. "I just wanna say fuck it and forgive him, this hurts so bad."

"You not no push over Es, don't go back with that nigga because you feel like you used to him. You don't ever settle for shit, what Black got that any other nigga don't?"

"I know it's plenty of men who-"

"Nah Es, I won't ever forgive you if you take him back."

"I'm pregnant Dylan." I cried making her go silent as it felt like everything stopped, I never said it out loud before.

"How you let him get you pregnant Es?"

"We always use condoms, we have never went raw."

"So he's in another relationship while your pregnant?"

"He's married with a child while in a relationship with me."

"Married?" She questioned with her eyes wide as hell. "Hell no! Give me my fucking furlough! I need to leave!"

"Sit down!" Her cousin told her.

"I'll beat you the fuck up David."

"Dylan stop." I told her.

"How many months?"

"Four, five next week."

"How long you knew?"

"2 weeks." I told her. "I went to get my checkup and she told me I'm pregnant."

"Five months is steep though."

"I wasn't getting any cravings, cramps, I'm not big, I was showing no signs I had no clue."

"Maybe because you depressed."

"I'm not depressed."

"Every time I ask about you from somebody they say they haven't talked to you, they said the only time they talk to you is if you doing their hair."

"I just don't wanna talk to people."

"Emae barely talk to you, when have you ever ignored Emae?"

"I have every right to not talk to people."

"I'm so sorry I left you out here." She spoke about to make me cry. "We had plans and I ruined every single one by getting in this jam but I didn't leave you alone. You have a whole army behind you and you not trying to let nobody be there for you."

"I was never the one looking for sympathy."

"I know Es but nobody looking to feel bad for you, people truly love you."

"What am I supposed to do Dyl?"

"Stop stressing, enjoy your pregnancy and by time she turn 1, I'll be out."

"That's easier said than done Dylan."

"Esme, you have your own shop, apartment and car coming soon. You literally have everything you been talking bout since I met you. Heartbreak hurts but you'll get over it. Think of it like this, you got everything in your life because you needed it. You obviously didn't need Black."

"It still doesn't take away from the fact that this hurts."

"Pain is just another lesson."

"Jail is really helping you."

"Keane is helping me."

"You still talk to Key?"

"Key has held me down since the moment he found out I was locked up, he was the first one putting money on everything before I even got transferred. That's my homie."

"Ya homie shoudla told me I was getting cheated on." I joked.

"Imma ask him about it cause I know he know."

Throughout the rest of our visit, we were literally talking about everything. When the hour was up I felt like crying because I had to leave my sister once again.

"I'll call you, okay?" She hugged me.

"I'll answer." I smiled.

I walked out as Q was sitting there on the phone with somebody as soon as he saw me he stood up stretching. He walked in front of me as we got back to the car, he looked at me then pulled off as I stared out the window.

"You wanna go to work or home?"

"Home." I was in no shape or form to go to work.

"Was already the plan." He spoke.

The hour drive seemed like 15 minutes as he pulled in the parking lot, I got on the elevator feeling nauseous as fuck. I just wanted to go to sleep.

"This nigga got a lot of fucking nerve." I heard Q say as soon as the elevator stopped on the floor.

I looked up to see Black standing by my door, he looked stressed like he haven't slept all day. I felt like crying just because everything I felt for him was just hitting me, I really pictured my whole life with this man and now I have to picture it without him.

This is why you never make someone your happiness.

"I'll knock you the fuck out if you don't move from by her door." Q said pushing me behind him. "What the fuck you here for?"

"All due respect brah-"

"Ain't no respect when you got my little sister crying over you, fuck you talking bout? Get the fuck away from her door before I kill you on camera."

"Q stop." I grabbed him since I knew he was going to hit him.

"You got 10 fucking minutes and if you still here I don't give a fuck what y'all talking bout, I'm going to stomp your head in." He said grabbing my key to go into my apartment.

"Just let me explain." He said as soon as the door closed. "Niyah and I been married since I was 16, it was an arranged marriage. Our mothers wanted us to be married since they were best friends, the day before yesterday was the 10 year anniversary so we had to get together to celebrate it."

"So why lie to me?"

"Let me finish explaining." He spoke.

"She was my best friend when we were little and after we got married we had to act like we were married so eventually we fell in love. At 19, she got pregnant and you know how I feel about kids, I always wanted a little girl."

Hearing that made my eyes water.

"We were having problems but I tried everything to avoid putting stress on her so I'll let her do whatever she needed to. Once Jayla was 2 years old we had a bad argument and she said Jayla wasn't mine. I didn't believe her but I took a test anyway, Jayla wasn't mine." He said clenching his jaw.

"That little girl looks just like you."

"I know and that's why it took me three whole months to take a DNA test, I couldn't believe it."

"Okay and what else?"

"I can not get a divorce with Niyah until she sign off, when we got married we agreed that we can only divorce if both of us agree."

"Did you have sex with her?"

"No Es, I haven't even slept in the same bed as her."

"Did you kiss her?"

"Es." He sighed. "In front of family, I have to."

"What do you have to act like you in love with her for? You're a grown ass man! If you wanted to make this divorce happen you would, you just told me last week that it was time I met your mother. How was you going to introduce me to your mother?"

By now I was crying even though I tried not to, you really never know a person.

Black didn't even have a answer to that question making me shake my head as I tried to stop crying. He reached out for me and I just moved back.

"We need to discuss the future of my shop." I told him making him scrunch his face up. "You invested a lot of money and since we're partners how much will it take to buy you out?"

"Es, I'm sorry I lied to you for so long. I know it hurts baby, it hurt me seeing you like this. I was going to tell you everything in a month, I promise I was."

"Now you don't need to, how much will it take to buy you out?"

"Es you can have all this shit!" He yelled as he started crying. "The apartment, Hero, the shop, you can have all this shit I'll sign it off tomorrow, I just want you!"

"I can't trust you and I'm not being in a relationship with somebody who I can't trust. You was wrong, respect my need for space until I'm healed."

"Esme, what else do I have to tell you to believe me?" He grabbed my arm. "I do not love her, I instantly knew I loved you when I first met you. I knew everything I wanted, you was going to give me. The married life, building my career, kids."

I started crying again cause all i wanted from him was to be his wife, not the money, fame, none of that. I just wanted him.

"Get off me, we're done."

"Es, please just understand-"

"Get off me." I said slower.

"Look just let me take you somewhere."

"I'm not going no where with you, get off me." I tried snatching out his grip but he was too strong.

"Es-"

"She said get the fuck off her." I heard making me turn around to see Face.

"Brah mind ya business."

"She'll always be my business, get the fuck off her for I dust you in this hallway."

"Stop, stop." I said as Black was still holding on to me:

"It ain't beef within us, mind ya business and imma tell you this one last time."

"Before what nigga?"

"Face stop." I snatched out of Black to stand in front of Face knowing he wouldn't swing with me right here.

"You been wanting my girl since you seen another nigga doing all the things you can't do."

"Esme always gon be my bitch and that's stamped so I ain't never been worried bout you my nigga. I told you when I first met you this my heart and you may got her for now but imma always have her."

"You think that shit, you can't do shit for her still a lil nigga."

"Word?" Face chuckled making me push him back since I knew he was about to hit him.

"I gave you five extra minutes, get the fuck out this hallway for me and my brother make you regret ever looking her way."

"Y'all niggas-"

"Black, please just go."

"I'll respect your space for now but I'll be back."

He walked off as I moved Face so he could walk past him, once Black was on the elevator I looked at both of them. Q furrowed his eyebrows then dabbed up Face.

"What you doing here?"

"I had to see was we still going to prom, what you doing here?"

"I been with her since yesterday but I'm bout to slide real quick to go fuck Jala." He said talking to him but looking at me. "I'll be back to sleep with you tonight favorite."

"Okay, take my key." I handed it to him as he nodded getting on the elevator.

"You not going to prom are you?"

"I don't want to, I don't even wanna go to graduation."

"Don't let no nigga-"

"I felt this way before we broke up." I cut him off. "I'm going to watch people be happy, my sister not walking that stage with me so what do I have to be happy about?"

"That you living." He shrugged. "People take life for granted and that's the problem, I understand about prom but by all means necessary you are most definitely going to graduation."

"Okay." I agreed so he can stop talking. "Are you staying or you have to leave?"

"I ain't leaving you by yourself like this, we could go watch High School Musical 3." He said making me smile.

"Let's go." I smiled walking in.
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I don't know if I wanna make this a happy ending or sad🤔 Overdose ended sad asf so I'm really trying to decide.... I'm not just talking bout Esme either, the whole book gon either be sad or happy.

If ya man or girl (ion discriminate😂) was entertaining a bitch, would you break up with em or is it talking out worthy?