Volume twelve

"I'm tired of you bitch." I told Jala as she looked up from her phone.

"What the fuck?" She laughed confused.

"Whenever we together, you never off ya phone. When we not together, you never picking up the phone. I'm feeling neglected as hell." I frowned.

"Girl the fuck bye, you only doing this because of Reem. If you and Reem was on good terms you wouldn't even be thinking about me."

"That's a whole fucking lie, I'll text and call your ass even when Reem was in my life. Lie the fuck again bitch, I promise you."

"Jaelyn."

"Jala."

"We gon talk about this more when I come back-"

"Come back from where?"

"Q taking me to get something to eat."

"Know what, don't come back." I told her.

"Jaelyn, you-"

"I'm dead ass serious, bye, don't come back or hit my line."

"You dead ass tripping, I ain't do none of this shit when I was single and you had Shep or even Reem."

"Bitch, I ain't never neglect ya dumb ass. I'll drop every single plan for you and you know that, I even answered during sex. Bitch bye, get out my presence."

"Bitch, you better watch who you talking to."

"For what? You can't beat me bitch."

"I ain't even gon do it with you today bitch." She grabbed her stuff walking out my room as I dialed our new found brother number.

"Where you at?"

"Work."

"I'm so damn bored."

"I thought you was spending the day with Jala."

"I don't know of the dumb bitch you speak of."

"Imma let that go." He spoke making me chuckle. "You wanna do something when I get off?"

"Can't you leave work like now? Tell them you going to the bathroom and never come back."

"Imma assume you never had a job before, right?"

"Never needed it but when you get off?"

"9."

"Bye." I hung up not before I could hear him laugh.

I started on Instagram and started watching people stories and trying to interact with people. I stopped at Shep story actually watching it since I never do, he was looking so cute. I started typing doubting he'll respond.

"Daddy, where are you?" I asked as soon as he answered.

"I'm on the highway."

"Where you going?"

"To pick some stuff up for your graduation."

"You should've told me so I could come." I frowned. "I'm so bored and I have no friends."

"What happened to you spending the day with Jala?"

"I don't know who that is."

"I'll be back around 7 baby girl."

"Bye." I rolled my eyes as he laughed.

I went through my contacts deciding to call Esme, I knew she wouldn't answer but I tried anyway. Just as I was about to hang up she answered sounding like she was working.

"Wassup Jae?" She asked.

"Bitch first of all I haven't spoke to you since you opened ya shop, I know you a business woman and allat but don't be forgetting about me bitch. I call you every 3 days and you still don't fucking answer, I'm tired of your shit."

"Jaelyn." She sighed. "I'm sorry I just been going through so much."

"What's wrong?" I asked hearing it in her voice.

"I wanna tell you but I don't wanna cry no more."

"No more about what Es? You scaring me."

"Black cheated-"

"On who? Bitch, I'm coming to your house right now!" I yelled jumped up.

"I'm at work."

"Well I'll be there."

"Can you bring food? I couldn't go on a lunch break and it feel like my body bout to give up."

"Okay, I'll call you back." I said as I heard my phone beeping indicating somebody was calling me. I looked at it seeing it was Dai. "Hello?"

"What you doing right now?"

"I was about to get dress."

"Good, come outside."

"Nigga what?" I scrunched up my face putting my feet into my ugg slides.

"I was finna get some food and was bout to pass ya house so come get food with me."

"This why you got so many bitches." I told him making him laugh. "I'll be out in 70 seconds."

I hung up making sure I had everything in my purse that I needed, I went over my hair and sighed, I needed this shit done. I locked my door then walked out the front door making sure I locked that too.

I saw his black 2018 Genesis G80 sport, he got out to open the door then jogged back into his side as I got comfortable. I turned down his radio then turned on the AC since it was hot outside.

"You just touching shit." He popped my hand turning the radio back up.

"Nobody wanna hear this ass ass song." I frowned turning it back down.

"Man whatever. Where you was bout to go?"

"My good sis hair shop downtown."

"Es Styles or something like that?"

"Yeah, how you know about her shop?"

"I paid for a couple bitches to get they hair done by her."

"Oh you spend money on bitches?"

"I'm fucking them, right?" He glanced at me, "If I could ask for pussy and head, they could ask for whatever."

"See I like you." I snapped.

"Didn't you used to fuck with Shep?"

"Who?"

"Sterling, the nigga who play basketball."

"Nah, I don't know him."

"You lying." He laughed. "He fuck with my sister and she used to always talk about ya ass. I heard you tried to stab her."

"You her brother? Blood?"

"Step sister."

"Take me home with you so I could watch her face drop." I laughed joking.

"You serious?" He glanced at me.

"I might beat ya sister ass so bad that ya mom prolly gon try and jump in for her daughter so to avoid allat, no."

"You still holding hostility towards her?" He chuckled. "She said you used to call her and hang up."

"That was her bum ass." I rolled my eyes. "That bitch would literally call me everyday at 5:06 and say I got ya man then hang up. That bitch was bothered as fuck!"

"Females just be messy." He chuckled pulling into wing stop.

"No I been letting people get too comfortable, I stab bitches and they don't know that."

"She said you tried to stab her, you chased her around the car." He laughed making me bust out laughing.

"Stop, I was a child." I chuckled.

"You handle yours, I respect it." He chuckled as we both ordered food along with Esme food.

"So why you a ho?" I asked as we waited for the food.

"I just don't wanna be in a relationship right now." He told me. "Everybody be trying to be in serious relationships, be on their third kid and shit and all I wanna do is have fun. I don't want kids right now, I don't want to be arguing with a bitch everyday or have to answer questions. I don't want no attachments."

"I get that, I be feeling like if I don't have all of that I'm behind."

"And that's how it is." He nodded. "Everybody make it seem like you have to have kids or be in relationships right now, we young as fuck going through heartbreak and shit. We got people dying everyday, suffering depression that we ain't even teenagers or young adults no more."

"You speaking real shit." I nodded looking at it that way.

"When the last time you had real fun?"

"Prom night."

"Because you was being a teenager, you wasn't thinking about what ya future consist of, no drama or none of that. You was genuinely having fun."

"I feel like you been through a lot."

"I could say what I been through but I ain't no sob story, what I been through is why I'm the way I am. I used to be heavy as fuck in this drug game, shit was passed down to me and I was supposed to pass it down to my son but I ain't want that life."

"So what life you wanted?"

"I wanted the whole college shit, the regular life where I could walk around comfortably."

"Did you ever get it?"

"Spent a lot of damn money to get this bachelors." He smiled real proudly making me smile. "College was one of the hardest shit I ever did in my life."

"I'm so nervous to go."

"Let me tell you three things that I wish I would have known. Don't go to a out of state college, don't go to a four year college and never take a loan."

"Why you say allat?"

"Everybody want the college experience, the whole party living on campus shit but that shit ain't nothing but money. Four year colleges is a waste because once you done with those four years you gon be broke and you most likely not even going to get a job within your field. Community colleges or even trade school get you where you need to be way faster."

"I always looked down on community colleges."

"Because people make you think it's for people who broke or who stupid but let me tell you something, we all motherfucking broke in college."

"Shit I'm broke now." I made him laugh. "I was thinking of doing trade school instead of college anyway."

"What you wanna be? What career do you see yourself doing forever?"

"I don't know, that's the problem."

"What are you good at?"

"Arguing but being a lawyer is too much."

"You ever heard of a paralegal?"

"No, what's that?"

"You ever watched criminal shows where it's a main lawyer then a lawyer on the side? That's a paralegal, you not technically qualified as a lawyer but you still do a damn lot."

"You can go to trade school for this?" I raised a eyebrow.

"Yes indeed." He nodded as he grabbed our food.

"I'm going to look into that as soon as I go home because I never knew this."

"Trade school is still money but it's not college money but I wished I would have did it."

"So what do you do?"

"I went to school for physical therapy, I got one year until I'm fully done but my minor was pharmaceutical technician so right now I'm a pharmacist while interning to be a physical therapist."

"Damn, you got money." I chuckled making him laugh as we got back in the car. "So what are you like 26/27?"

"22." He spoke making me raise a eyebrow. "I dropped out of school at 13, got my GED at 14, enrolled in college at 15 going on 16, got my bachelors at 20, and I'm going to have my official degree at 23."

"You so interesting." I told him eating my fries.

"It's just my life, I could brag about where I'm at cause I been through motherfucking everything and now I can pick any spot on the map and go there."

"Shit take me with you." I chuckled.

"Seriously? We could go."

"Aht aht I gotta know you some more. You hear about all them people dying in unknown countries, if I'm going with you I needa make sure it's no foul play on any parts."

"I get it." He nodded. "Let's start little, you wanna go to Hershey Park?"

"Hell yeah." He chuckled.

"Baby and all of us stay at amusement parks and shit in the summer, when we not working we always active."

"God knew what he was doing when he made Spencer single." I told him making him laugh.

"You gon text me later?" He asked as he pulled up as I got a little sad, he was cool company.

"Yeah, maybe after I talk to her we can chill."

"I'm free for the rest of the day." He shrugged. "Just let me know."

"Okay, I'll talk to you later." I smiled walking out the car walking in the shop as it look like all eyes was on me making me look at them.

"You know who you just got out the car with?" Esme asked raising a eyebrow.

"That's Dai." I spoke as she finished some girl hair.

"You know my hair washer Jassy? That's her boyfriend."

"He told me he was single but it don't matter to me because I don't want him, he just a friend."

"Well, I'm just letting you know because she looking at you as if y'all gonna box it out."

"I'll stab her." I shrugged as we walked in her office making me look around smiling, I was so proud of my friend. "So what's been going on?"

"He has a wife and a kid but says he can't get divorced because she won't sign off."

"Do you believe him?"

"Yes."

"Do you love him?"

"Of course."

"Are you hurting?"

"Bad."

"Then you have your answer." I shrugged as she looked confused. "Love isn't hurt. If he has you questioning yourself, feeling insecure or even loosing sleep over him then it isn't love. Love does not hurt, do not settle for anything because you love somebody."

"You're right and that's why I decided not to take him back."

"As you shouldn't." I spoke. "I never said it out loud but I love Reem and I realized that when I wanted to apologize for something he did to me just to have him back."

"Wait, you and Reem aren't a thing anymore?"

"Was we ever?" I rolled my eyes.

"What happened?"

"Long story short, something happened between him and his sister and he decided to take his anger out on me. He ignored me for a few days then tried to come back buying my love."

"Reem fucking up."

"Jala doesn't see it as serious but I've been in a place where I had to beg God to take all the love out of me because I was losing myself. Reem helped me find my way back and from there I made promises to myself and one promise was to never question myself or my actions because of a nigga and I broke that promise as soon as this happened."

"I understand, it's like letting yourself down."

"Exactly, I know I didn't do anything but I was still questioning and doubting myself. No one is supposed to make you feel that way."

"They don't get it though." She shook her head.

"I really expected more out of Black." I grew sad for her. "Are you holding up?"

"I'm trying." She sadly smiled as I seen tears come to her eyes. "All I see is him, everything I feel is for him, I'm so hurt Jaelyn. I have to move on with my life without him and it fucking hurts."

I wiped my eyes crying with her, I understood her pain. I walked over to her and hugged her real tight as we both cried.

This is what Dai was talking about, we were only teenagers going through heartbreaks like this. Fun isn't even in our vocabulary anymore.

"Do you wanna go to Hershey Park?" I asked making her laugh.

"Hell yes, when?"

"I don't know, Dai wants to take me so whenever I find out I will tell you."

"I have to check in with my doctor because I don't think I can get on rides while-" she stopped talking covering her mouth making me furrow my eyebrows confused until I caught on.

"You pregnant?!" I yelled standing up. "For real?"

"You and Dylan are the only ones who knows, please don't tell anyone."

"Esme!" I yelled still shocked. "Out of everybody, you?"

"Right!" She shook her head. "I still can't believe this shit."

"Are you excited?"

"I haven't been able to be." She mumbled. "I want to be a mom so bad and this is amazing but I just hate the feeling I feel and I try not to be because every emotion I feel it feels."

"Are you going to tell him?"

"Not right now, he doesn't have to know right now." She shrugged. "I don't need him around me for the pregnancy, I just need him to be a father which he already is."

"I hate Black for this." I shook my head. "But you'll always have me and he or she gon love the shit out they teetee JaeBx3."

"JaeBx3?" Esme questioned furrowing her eyebrows.

"Jae Big Body Benz."

"Girl." She rolled her eyes laughing.

"Aye, what you doing?" I heard Q voice knocking on the door. "Why the door locked?"

"Relax." Esme said going to open the door. "Jae and I was just talking."

"Good, you talking to other people." He nodded. "I bought you a smoothie."

"Thank you favorite." She grabbed it sipping it.

"Wassup Jae?" He hugged me as I smiled. "You know Reem at ya house right now?"

"Why?" I furrowed my eyebrows.

"He tryna get his girl back." He chuckled as I rolled my eyes calling Reem.

"Why are you trying to pop up on me?" I asked as soon as he answered.

"I miss you." He spoke.

"I bet."

"Jae, where you at? Let's talk, please."

"I'm at Esme shop."

"I'll be there." He hung up.

"Stop making my boy chase you." Q said. "And stop having my girl feel bad about shit."

"Fuck your girlfriend." I rolled my eyes.

He laughed as I sat down eating my food, like 15 minutes later Reem texted me he was outside. I gathered my stuff hugging Esme then walking out. I saw him sitting on the roof of his car, he was so fucking fine.

"Wassup?" I asked getting his attention.

"I never seen you natural, you so gorgeous."

"Thank you." I spoke sitting in the car as he closed my door. "Where we going?"

"I have to go get some shit from my sisters then we'll go eat."

"I just ate."

"Then we can just go somewhere, anywhere you want."

"A hotel." I spoke making him raise a eyebrow.

"Why there?"

"I want to swim." I shrugged.

"Okay, I'll see if they have rooms available."

I nodded my head hooking my phone to bluetooth, I laughed at the song I was going to play. As soon as she started singing he glanced at me. I continued laughing as I seen him clench his jaw.

"Cause you had your turn and now you gon learn what it really feels like to miss me. Cause if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it, don't be mad once you see that he want it. Oh oh oh-"

"Play something else."

"I can't believe I believed everything we had would last-"

"Jaelyn stop playing with me."

"Alright, I quit." I laughed playing some Youngboy.

We were silent as we rode to his sisters house, it wasn't bad energy we just didn't have nothing to say. When he pulled up, I was going to stay in the car but he insisted I got out so I did. When I walked in I felt the negative vibes making me uncomfortable off bat.

"Hi Jaelyn." Reem 12 year old sister smiled coming to hug me as I greeted her back.

"Hi y'all." I spoke to be polite, they fake smiled at me but didn't say anything.

Reem was talking to them but I was in my phone because I wasn't finna talk to anybody who didn't wanna talk to me. Reem oldest sister, Maha started yelling in their native language following Stink and Imani.

I felt as though they were speaking about me so I started recording the whole argument, somebody gon translate this to me later.

"I'm getting real tired of this shit." Reem spoke real calmly before he started yelling back with them.

I didn't know what they were yelling at but he was turning me the fuck on with his fine ass.

"Man fuck all this, I don't need this shit." He said before turning my way. "Come on Jae."

"Of course, she all you fucking know now!" Stink yelled out confusing me. "You so blind, open your damn eyes."

"I don't gotta explain shit to nobody, I'm a grown ass man that pay my bills and all y'all bills. Get the fuck outta here."

He touched the bottom of my back to lead me out the room, I didn't even say anything. He started driving and I saw that he was going towards my house making me roll my eyes, I guess the day was done making me text Dai to see where he at.

"Go pack a bag for like four days, put your bathing suit in the bag. I'll be back in like 10 minutes."

"Okay." I low key smiled getting out the car to go in the house.

After packing everything, I texted Reem to let him know I was done as I went to go get some ice cream and wait.

10 minutes turn into 20. 20 minutes turned into a hour. A hour turned into 24.

"Have you heard from Reem today?" I asked Mickey when I woke up the next morning not seeing any phone calls or even messages.

"Yeah, he right here. Why wassup?" He answered making my heart drop.

"Something wrong?" I asked.

"Nah, we chilling and smoking."

"I'll call you back fave."

I texted Reem a whole paragraph then blocked his number, I was officially done with Reem weird ass.
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Have y'all ever read Safe Haven by my sissy girl? Well it's a dope ass book and she lost encouragement over it because she felt like it wasn't good. Y'all read it and tell KailaniKnox to finish it🙄