Volume thirteen

I parked in front of Black house where he lives with his wife and kid. I sat there contemplating on knocking on the door or just pulling off. She walked out the front door with her daughter as a truck pulled up, it was him.

He looked stressed as if he haven't gotten any sleep.

He hugged her as I sat back wishing I could hear the words they were saying, he picked his daughter up giving her multiple kisses as I felt my heart thumping.

"Just kill all of them." Jaelyn said making me look at her.

"Shh." I told her trying to read their lips.

Another car pulled up as three brown skin middle aged women got out the car, they were laughing and smiling going to hug Black and his wife.

"That's his mom." I mumbled remembering her face.

I watched as his mom kissed both of them on their cheeks, Black smiled kissing his wife making my heart drop as tears came to my eyes. It wasn't a peck, his tongue was down her throat.

"Don't look like he hate this bitch to me." Jaelyn spoke.

I couldn't even say nothing as tears rolled down my cheeks, he said it was a act but he wasn't that much of a actor. My heart hurts so much.

"Fuck this shit." Jaelyn spoke digging in the backseat.

"What is that?" I asked looking at the bag.

"This is a knife from Mickey, he got it in China." She showed me it. "He said all you have to do is throw it with a little force and it'll go clean through."

"Jaelyn, let's go." I spoke deciding torturing myself was over.

"Aight, in a second." She spoke rolling down the window.

"Jaelyn, what if you make a mistake and hit his daughter?" I asked her since he was still holding her.

"Fuck his daughter." She said making me shake my head.

"Jaelyn come on." I shook my head as she sighed.

"Fine, we leaving but when I see him on my own time trust and believe I wanna fight."

I didn't say nothing as she put on her seatbelt, as we was driving off Black looked our way. He did a double take and stared in my face as I did the same, he took a step forward as we rode past him.

I hate him.

~

I cleaned up my spot as I felt myself having to pee making me roll my eyes, I hated being pregnant. I always have to pee, my breast always so sore and my nose too sensitive. I hated it so much.

I looked at the text coming through my Apple Watch seeing that Q was checking in on me. I washed my hands going back into the main area seeing people playing and hair getting done. I sat at my area and looked at the front door seeing a man in a suit walk in.

"Esme Santana?" He spoke out making me raise my eyebrows.

"That's me." I spoke standing up.

"You have been served." He handed me the envelope then walked off.

"Wait what?"

I opened the letter seeing that I was being sued for fraud, my heart started beating harder as I grew more confused.

Black wife was suing me.

Black bought the shop with her name and now she is suing me.

Tears came to my eyes as I walked into my office closing the door, I stood there crying for like two minutes until that turned into anger. My whole body got hot as I grabbed my car keys.

I didn't say anything to anybody as I got into my car pulling off, I wasn't thinking, I was going straight off anger and for once I didn't care about what my actions will cause.

"Esme?" Black asked wide eyed as I rung his doorbell over and over. He looked back with wide eyes then tried to push me out.

"You seriously put my shop in your wife name?!" I yelled. "Fuck what you did to me and how you broke my heart, you really did this shit?"

"I had to, my credit wasn't that good at the time and I just wanted to show you how much I love-"

"You don't love me, all you thought about was you! How everything made you look! Do you know this bitch suing me for fucking fraud?! You just so disrespectful but I'm done talking."

"What you talking bout? I do love you Esme. I love you-"

I cut him off by punching him directly in his face, I kept swinging on him because all I really wanted to do was release some anger and he was the root of most of my anger.

"What's all that-" I heard his wife say before she pulled my hair making me start swinging on her.

Black was in the middle of us as I kept beating her face in. "Black, stop holding me. Get off me!" She yelled as I seen blood.

Black pushed both of us and I tripped over the stupid ass flower pot they had as I was getting up I saw her running towards me and she kicked me in my shoulder then tried to kick me again but Black grabbed her.

"Bitch, you tried to kick me in my stomach?" I asked before I kicked her daughter in her face.

She wanted to kick kids, right? Bet.

"Black let me go!" She yelled as her daughter was sitting on the ground crying.

"Y'all don't need to be fighting, Esme please just leave and I'll-" He stopped talking because his bitch ass baby mother spit on me.

It landed on my chin, I picked up one of the bricks that was next to me and I threw it at her. Black tried to cover her but it hit her in the face before he could. He looked like he was shocked but he was even more shocked when Jaelyn ran past me and started dragging her.

"Stop playing with my fucking friend!" Jaelyn yelled as she kicked her in her head.

I grabbed another brick walking towards Black, since everybody wanted to play dirty and be grimy we most definitely could. Just as I was about to hit him with it his mother and three more ladies came.

"What the hell is going on?" His mom asked.

"Oh, hi I'm Esme. Your sons ex girlfriend. I broke up with him a month ago because he failed to mention he has a wife and a daughter. Which by the way, isn't his and they don't even live together." I smiled.

"Pharaoh?" She questioned as he sighed.

Before anybody could say anything two police cars pulled up, we all looked at them as they walked towards us. "We got a call about fighting and arguing."

"It's just a misunderstanding." Black spoke.

"These two are trespassing and they attacked me!" His wife yelled. "I want them locked up now!"

"Oh, you ain't a real hood bitch." I chuckled. "Bitch, you get me locked up you better pray they don't let me out."

"That's a threat."

"I don't threat, I do bitch."

"Esme, shut up." Black spoke.

"Do you want to press charges?" The cop asked her.

"No, she don't." Black said.

"Yes." She spoke.

"Y'all don't gotta put the cuffs on me or read me my rights, I'll get in the car." I shrugged walking passed them waiting for them to open the door.

~

"Santana bail." The officer said after sitting in this cell for a few hours.

"I'm not leaving until my friend do."

"She made bail too, hers is being processed."

"Well, when it go through we'll walk out together."

"Suit yourself." He shrugged closing the door.

"Who came to bail you out?" I asked Jaelyn.

"Reem."

"I thought you weren't talking to him."

"I'm not but the least he could do is spend money on me one last time."

"Sorry I got you into this."

"Girl bye." She waved me off. "I got myself into this, I ain't have to hit the bitch."

"Fuck that bitch, I shoulda let you kill her."

"Let Mickey do it."

"She got a kid, no matter how mad I am no kid should grow up without their parent, it's hard enough."

"Alright fine." She rolled her eyes. "You know if I was Dylan, this would have been way worst. We wouldn't have even had bail."

"Seriously." I chuckled. "She would have killed all three of them."

"Carter and Santana bail." He said opening the gate.

"Finally." Jaelyn dramatically said as they let us out.

I had to get my papers and a court date, walking out I saw Q and Benji. They sat up seeing both of us, Q looked me over making sure I was good then looked at Jae.

"Y'all good?" Benji asked.

"I'm sorry fave."

"I can't even think to ask you what happened right now." He spoke sighing. "Come on."

"Wait, something off with y'all." Jaelyn spoke. "And where is Reem? Reem was supposed to bail me out."

"Jae look-"

"Don't do that, please don't do that." She held her hand out as tears came to her eyes. "What happened to him? Is he okay?"

"Reem was on his way to you and he got shot." Benji said as she covered her mouth.

"I just spoke to him, I just spoke to him." She cried. "I need to see him, can we leave please?"

"Esme." Q spoke. "Face was with him."

"What?" I scrunched my face up. "No no no no, don't tell me this. Q please don't tell me- please."

My heart stopped pumping, I felt like everything was stopping. Q held my hand walking me out the station, he put me in the car as Jaelyn wouldn't stop crying.

I called his phone but all it did was ring as I waited til his voicemail came so I can hear our voices, listening to it. I hung up calling all over again.

"Aye wassup? This Face-"

"And Esme."

"This supposed to be a me thing but nothing is never just me when it comes to her." He laughed. "You reached our voicemail, leave a message when I'm done speaking. Blattt."

I smiled hanging up, I played it again like three more times. We made that voicemail back in 2013 and he have never changed it til this day.

"Is he okay?" I mumbled to Q.

"I don't know." He answered. "I got the call as I was bailing you out."

"Does Sanaa know?"

"I don't know."

I pulled out my phone to call her, just when I thought she wasn't going to answer she did. "Hello?"

"Where are you?"

"Saymon house." She chuckled. "Before you ask, we are not back together."

I started crying because she don't even know. "Sanaa."

"Yeah Es?"

"Can you put Saymon on the phone?"

"Yeah, hollup. SaySay Es want you."

"Wassup sis?"

"I need you to bring Sanaa to Memorial, Reem and Face got shot. I don't know if they okay or not but I can't bear to tell her."

"We on our way."

He hung up as I thought about Sanaa, she loved Face like no other. Fuck what I'm going to be going through, I couldn't imagine her losing her other half.

When we pulled up to the hospital Q found a spot then we all walked out, Benji was about to say something to the receptionist but we heard yelling making us go towards that way.

"Reem!" Jaelyn yelled running to him as he looked at her.

"What you crying for?" He chuckled. "You shoulda known me to be stronger than these niggas mamas."

"Don't do that, I almost lost my shit." Jaelyn cried as he pulled her into him.

"We have to get him to surgery." The doctor said.

"For what?" Benji asked.

"I'll have nurse Molly inform y'all about everything but right now he has to go to surgery because he's bleeding internally."

"I love you." Jaelyn told him.

"I love you too mamas."

"Do you know where Saheed Parker is?" I asked the nurse. "He came in with him."

"He's in surgery, he got shot in his head, neck and chest. If I were you, I would call his family, it doesn't seem look good right now."

Q grabbed me sitting me down, he wiped my face then hugged me as I tried to stop myself from crying. My problems seemed so little compared to what's going on.

"Wassup?" Mickey and the rest of the boys came in along with Sanaa as she looked like she was so scared.

"The nurse said Face not looking too good, she said you need to call Yana.." Benji spoke since we couldn't.

"What?" She asked. "What?"

"Nana-"

"What do you mean?" She asked as her face flooded with tears making my own fall. "Es, what are they talking about?"

"Sanaa." I said since that's the only thing I could, I could barely breathe.

"Both of y'all gotta stop before y'all faint or something, breathe in and out. In and out." Kee tried to coach.

I listened and it helped me while Sanaa just did the opposite, nurses had to rush over to her and take her to a secluded area so she could calm down.

"Did you eat?" Jaelyn asked me.

"I don't want to." I spoke wiping my eyes even though they continued falling down. "I think I'll be okay if I just saw his face."

"Here." Q handed me my phone as a video where we was smiling and playing making me nod.

"Is he okay?" His girlfriend asked walking in.

"It's not looking so good, he still in surgery." Benji told her as she started crying.

"Are y'all okay?" She asked.

"We wasn't with him, we good." Q told her as she sat down.

"All we can really do is wait right now."

~

After hours passed Face was finally out of surgery, he still wasn't woke but him making it through surgery was a win. Yana, Sanaa and Kia was a mess and I couldn't blame them, I was a mess on the inside but I couldn't show it.

"Can I stay the night?" I asked Yana.

"Yeah." She spoke as everyone was getting ready to leave because visiting hours were over. "Sanaa and Kia are going home and I have to fill out a lot of paperwork so you can just stay in here."

"Where are you going to sleep?" His girlfriend asked.

"I'll probably just sit in the chair all night." I shrugged. "I doubt I'll sleep anyway."

"I would appreciate it if you wouldn't get in the bed with him." She spoke. "I know how much he mean to you but this isn't your boyfriend, he's mine and I wouldn't be comfortable with it."

"I understand where you're coming from but if I decide to lay on my friend because I'm sad or I just want comfort for him then that's what I'm going to do."

"Then I'll ask would you not stay the night."

"And I'll say no." I scrunched my face up.

"I'm really trying to be respectful and nice to you but like it's no point."

"Once again, I understand your point but I'm not going to listen. Face was just in my bed three days ago comforting me so if I want to feel that same feeling then I'm going to do that."

"That's a lie, he was with me three days ago."

"Because I told him to go, he was smothering me."

"That's cute because he says you can't leave him alone."

"I can't, that's my best friend." I shrugged. "But don't ever think it's not vice versa, don't ever let him make it seem like it's one sided."

"Girl, it is." She chuckled. "You was damn near in tears last time because he didn't even say a little congratulations."

"Because you're trying to turn him against me." I furrowed my eyebrows. "He told me about how he woke up and you deleted all our pictures along with everything including me. You tried to erase me and it's not working. It will always be me over any girl in his life."

"If so, why was he just saying all you do is fuck niggas and get cheated on?" She smirked scrolling. "Oh this one says Esme needs me again, she always fucking calling me."

"None of that is hurting my feelings." I shrugged. "I've been through this too many times with him, y'all are temporary in his life so he has to say whatever to please y'all for the time being. He has said a lot more worst about you but I'm not going tit for tat."

"You're just delusional."

"Okay, let me be delusional while laying in the bed with him."

"Please do not drop your bag as if you wanna fight my sister." Spencer spoke getting everybody attention.

"I promise you as soon as that bag hit the floor so will you." Jaelyn stood up.

"I'm not wasting my time." She waved them off, she glared at me one last time then adjusted her bag walking out the room.

"I understood what she was saying and I really liked her for a second." I spoke. "But she's not going to tell me how to grieve. If I want to seek comfort from my friend I will."

"As you should." Jala spoke.

"I was gon air this shit out." Jaelyn chuckled.

"Are you hungry?" Q asked.

"No."

"I'll bring you some breakfast."

"Okay fave." I hugged him taking the blanket from the nurse.

Tonight was going to be a long night.

~

"You look drained." My OB said as she looked at my blood samples.

"A lot has been happening."

"Stand on the scale for me." The medical assistant said as I did what she said.

"Get undressed, we'll be back in a minute."

She handed me a gown as I took off everything putting it on, I had to pee but I couldn't because they needed my bladder to be full so they can do the ultrasound. But if they didn't come back soon, they was going to be mad.

She came back just in time as she started setting up stuff, I looked at everything.

"This not your first time so you know it's going to feel like pressure."

"Yeah, I know." I nodded as I looked at the screen.

When she inserted it, I felt pain fuck pressure.

"Your ovaries look good." She spoke moving the wand around. "And there's your baby."

"Sorry I'm late." Jaelyn smiled walking in the room. "I had got lost in this- oh my fucking God is that my baby? She looks so beautiful."

"Jaelyn." I rolled my eyes laughing as the doctor smiled.

"I'm sorry, oh my God." She started fanning her face being dramatic making me just look at her.

"Do you wanna know the gender?"

"No." I spoke.

"Yes!" Jaelyn glared at me.

"You can tell her." I shrugged.

"Yes please tell me." Jaelyn smiled as she wrote it down on a piece of paper. "Yes yes yes! I got my- oh shit never mind."

"Esme, your high blood pressure is very high. At this rate you can go into premature labor and hurt both of y'all."

"I try to be happy but it's like everything is so stressful."

"I understand that very much but you have to stop putting things before your baby. You have to realize you're pregnant."

"I know I'm pregnant." I rolled my eyes getting annoyed.

"But you don't. Why haven't you got the prescription for the prenatal pills? I understand being pregnant wasn't in the plan but it's happening now. A premature labor is the worst of your worries, you will have a miscarriage."

"I'll go get the prescription." I said.

"And you have to gain more weight. Your baby is far behind in development. It's supposed to be at least 2 pounds right now, it's only 4 ounces. Every baby isn't the same but it's not supposed to be that far behind Esme. You have to get serious."

"I will." I sighed, every time I came to an appointment all she did was lecture me. "I'll go pick up the prenatals right after this and eat and try not to stress."

"Thank you. You can get dress and go to the front desk to get your next appointment date." She said making me nod. "I want to see a change next time I see you."

"You will."

"Imma fuck you up." Jaelyn said. "I didn't know you was doing that bad."

"I'll fix it." I told her. "I'm hungry, can we go see Face real quick?"

"I just came from there and I know you did too, Face is fine. Let's go get some food and your prescription then we can come back later."

"Fine." I rolled my eyes gathering my stuff.

~

"You hungry?" I asked Sanaa on the phone.

"I can't eat." She sighed.

"Q is on his way to bring you some food Spencer cooked."

"What you bout to do?"

"I have to go to the police station to see how to get these charges dropped."

"Okay, keep me updated."

"Kiss Face for me."

"Okay."

I walked into the police station walking to the desk, it had been a week since I got booked for assaulting Black and his wife. I had missed the court date because I had shit to do so I was coming to turn myself in.

"The woman decided not to press charges." The arresting officer spoke.

"Excuse me? Why?" I furrowed my eyebrows.

"She refused to give a statement and said she don't want to pursue legal actions. All charges are dropped."

"For me and Jaelyn?"

"Yes."

"And what about the fraud charge?"

"That's also dropped, there isn't any charges formed against you."

"Okay, thank you." I spoke still confused.

I got in the car going to Black house because I wanted answers. When I got to the house all I saw was moving trucks making me furrow my eyebrows, I got out the car walking towards the house to see Black talking to the movers.

"Who's moving?" I asked getting both their attention.

"Es." He spoke grabbing my arm pulling me.

"First of all, get off me." I snatched out of his grip. "This is your stuff being moved out so where are you going?"

"This isn't just my stuff, this is mine and my family's."

"Family?" I pushed my head back. "I thought that bitch wasn't your family."

"She my wife."

"You told me I was your family." I spoke sadly.

"You're my best friend wife little sister of course you family."

"That's all I am?"

"Es, what do you want me to say? You didn't want me anymore, I fucked up and you-"

"You fucked up?!" I yelled. "How about you fucking broke me?! I am carrying your baby, I am your family!"

"What?"

"You got me pregnant."

"We always used condoms."

"And that's the fucked up part."

"Esme you have both apartments, Hero and the shop, you don't have to try and trap me. You wanted me gone and that's what I'm doing."

"Trap you?" I furrowed my eyebrows as tears came out. "What? Black stop playing please."

"I didn't make no baby with you, I got trapped the first time I'm not getting trapped again."

"I'm not a liar! That's you! You're the liar, you the one who ruined everything . Don't do that please, you always wanted kids and now I'm giving you one-"

"I have a daughter which you assaulted."

I couldn't even say anything, if I thought the break up hurt this hurt way more. I didn't want to get back with him, I just wanted him to be a parent like I was forced to be.

"If you deny my baby right now, there's no coming back from this point." I told him seriously. "I will not put you on child support, I won't do any of that. I want you to sign off your parenting rights and never come around."

"I'll do that."

"Who are you right now?" I cried. "You do not love me, you never loved me. How can you just-"

I stopped crying realizing I looked stupid. I wasn't begging him.

"I'll give the paperwork to Keyz, burn in hell."

I walked away trying to stop my tears as the movers looked at me in sympathy, they probably just thought I was some random groupie not knowing I was the light of his dark days, or that's just what he told me.

I got back in the car with clouded eyes and a broken heart, I could barely see as I drove. I just wanted to get home as fast as i could so I could cry myself to sleep. This was the worst I ever felt about myself.

I let a man make me feel all of this.

I parked but I didn't get out. I couldn't, I was just in shock I couldn't believe this.

I cried until I couldn't cry no more.

Literally.

I stopped feeling, thinking, breathing. All there was was darkness.
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