A couple days later Jessica tried to be more active. Her medicine wasn't going to make a big change right away. She had to wait it out. Jessica got ready for the day then decided to go to her therapist.

She waited in the waiting room on her phone. She was texting Ann back and forth as she sent pictures of the twins to Jessica. She smiled uncontrollably when she saw how happy the babies were. Everything she did was for them.

When she got another picture from Ann she also got a message from Danny. It had been days since she last talked to him. She was ignoring him. She hated the fact that she was. Yet when she didn't speak to him she felt so much more relaxed.

*Listen Jess, I don't know what's going on but you are starting to worry me. If you don't answer I'm getting a ticket.*

Jessica held the phone in her hand tightly. She really wanted to ignore it but she typed anyways.

*There is no need for that.*

*Why are you doing this? What does this all mean for us? Do you even want to come home?*

"Jessica? She's ready for you." The secretary says

Jessica leaves Danny on open then shoves her phone in her purse.

**
During Jessica's session she talked a lot about what had been going on for the last few days and the mix up with her medication.

As they were talking Jessica's phone kept buzzing.

"I'm so sorry, I don't know who keeps-" Jessica stops herself and looks at the multiple messages from Danny. It was him asking if she wanted him or loved him. He was beginning to think that maybe she was avoiding him and she stayed in Minnesota because she didn't want to be with him.

"Jessica, is everything okay?" She says

Jessica starts to tear up very quickly. Her body trembled. "No... I don't think so."

"Why don't we talk about it... what's going on?"

"It's Danny, I haven't said anything to him for days until today. Being away from him as brought up a lot of emotions and thoughts. I just don't know what to do." Jessica bites her lip then shuts off her phone.

"What kind of emotions and thoughts?"

Jessica took a deep breath then began.

"Almost a year ago I met Danny. I had a boyfriend of seven years at the time. We had been together for seven years and always had big plans of being together. But Sam didn't have his life straighten out at the time. I wanted to start a family but Sam wasn't ready. Sam was at boot camp and I was lonely. Things went downhill when he left. I didn't want to be in an army family relationship. I ember got to see him. When I met Danny I had these feelings for him that I had never had for anyone in my life. He made me so happy. Long story short I had an affair. It ended my relationship with Sam. I stayed away from Danny for a while to find myself. Then I found myself pregnant. I was scared because I didn't know who the father was. Obviously Danny was the father. From the day I found out I was pregnant to now and forever, I knew that everything I did and do is for them. I wanted to give my babies the best life possible with a mom and dad who loved them and each other. A happy household with two parents. That was my dream for them and for me. I didn't want them to grow up going back and forth. So Danny and I started dating. I always loved Danny, he is a great man. But it all just happened so fast. I never had time to breathe or be by myself. When I found out that Danny got a job in New York my brain told me to move with him. I knew that when we moved there it would all be so we can be financially stable with two babies on the way. Without really thinking I just moved with him and started working with his aunt. I did it for the kids. My heart was telling me to stay but I didn't. I always hated being away from family. I hid that from everyone and acted like it was all okay. I wanted to go back to college and ride the babies in Minnesota but I didn't say anything. Danny didn't think I could juggle work, motherhood, and college. When Danny started talking about marriage I freaked out. That's when it all started. If you love someone so much you would want to marry them, right?I wanted to marry Sam, I had dreams with Sam. But I didn't have that same feeling with Danny. It was always Danny, the babies and I. That's all it was to me. I didn't want anything more. I wasn't in a rush to marry him. It confused me so much. I kept asking myself why. Why wouldn't I want to marry the father of my children? Once the twins came I focused on them. But as Danny became less present I started thinking back to why. I thought maybe I was just emotional. It was so much more than that.

Being away from him these last few weeks has changed me. I feel free in a way. I hate having the babies away from him, but it's helped me. Being home has helped me in so many ways. I'm happier, a lot happier." Jessica sits there and contemplates what she'll say next. She had already dug herself so deep. She had never faced these thoughts before.

"Why do you feel free?"

"Because I've felt trapped. I feel like I've stayed with Danny for so long for my children. From the day I found out I was pregnant I had that mindset of a perfect family. Danny was the only way I could keep that mindset intact. Now, I've realized that maybe it's gotten too far. I've made myself too unhappy. I love Danny, but I don't think I love him enough to spend the rest of my life with him. He's a great man, father, and person. I'm lucky to have him. Yet every time I look at him I feel guilty. My babies are the biggest blessing in my life and I'd never change what I did. If I didn't do what I did I wouldn't have them. I don't regret them. I regret holding it all in and rushing things. I regret not following my heart." Jessica chokes up a bit.

"When you become a mother you just want to give your babies the best life filled with happiness and love. Sometimes to do that you have to make sacrifices. You get so caught up in all of that, you forget about yourself and your happiness. Your happiness matters, Jessica. The saying if mama isn't happy, nobody is... well that's true. Your unhappiness will start to show sooner or later. It will reflect and your children will see it. Sometimes you have to do what's right for you and your happiness."

"I love him... I really do. I just don't think
I can marry him. I don't think I can go back with him next month. I love being here. I love that the babies can be surrounded by family and truly see me happy.When I see him at Sarah's wedding what will I do? He'll be heart broken. What if he tries to take the babies?" Jessica starts to panic and cry.

"You tell him how you feel and work it out. You can't hide how you feel. You matter just as much as he does."

**

Jessica headed back to Dorthy's. She felt sick the whole ride over. She felt relieved to finally get out how she felt. Spending all those months feeling the way she did wasn't right. She was just scared... scared of facing her thoughts.

When she walked in Dorthy, Albert, and Ann were bouncing the babies around dancing to music. She walked in and stood still. They all continued to dance and wave at Jessica.

"Hey, look it's mommy! She's back, say I mommy!" Albert waves Wyatt's hand and he giggles.

Jessica tears up then breaks down, immediately.

"Oh my god, Jessica. Are you okay, love?" Dorthy hands Scarlett to George and runs over to Jessica who fell onto the floor.

Dorthy got down next to her and held her. She finally let it all out. She was finally able to escape.

"I never gave myself time to breathe. It was all too fast. Now I have to make a change, I'm afraid of that change, mom." Jessica sobs into Dorthy's shoulder.

"What change, baby?"

Ann shuts off the music and they all leave the room with the babies leaving Dorthy with Jessica.

"I messed up now I don't know what to do."

Jessica spends time talking with Dorthy about everything that was going on. She later talked with Ann, Dorthy, and Albert. She was tired of feeling like this. But feeling like this only made her feel guilty.

**