Trust is like money. You can never have enough, and you lose it to fast.

Did you think that was a joke? It's not. It's true, at least for me.

My mother lost my trust when i was in the 6th grade after dad pasted away. She always had to take me to school since no school buses came through town. After school, she never picked me up. Nope, never...okay well hardly ever. It was always grandma, or sister, or once it was even my brother. I don't even remember how many time i almost broke down crying because mother forgot me at the school or because the teacher asked if I was sure i wasn't supposed to be on a bus or even just because I was always the last kid to go home. Anyway, I'm off topic here.

My dad lost my trust when I was about 8 or 9. I noticed he seemed to favorite my brother..of course that was only when my brother visited, which was every fucking summer. He also lost my trust because of his problem to never be able to stay awake (Reason behind that but thats for a later bitching section)  and almost hitting or running off the road with me in the truck. I hate trucks now. Why? I almost died every time I was in one.

My dad's side of the family lost my trust when I was ignored at a family reunion and got sick because they shut the doors on me when it started lightly raining, or when my grandma on father's side almost shut my head in a car door, how do you not see my head? Like really, it's only a head...that is ya know part of my body...I kind of need it to fucking live. My grandma hates me, which is okay because I hate her to. I know, I know, how can someone hate their own grandma, right? Easy, she tried to decapitate me, along with MANY other damn reasons.

I can't even remember how many times my friends have done things or just accused me of doing things that made them lose my trust. I could say something but like I said: I can't even remember all the times. I just know it hurts me every time something happens and I know it can and most likely will happen again, unless I remove some of my trust in them.

It hurts every time I think about all the shit that has made me lose my trust in people. It hurts because I know it just makes me draw more within myself and close myself off to people. I know I can fix the trust between me and lot of people in my life...but that wont change anything.

Anyway, That is how trust is like money to me. You can never have enough and you lose it to fast.

~Trust is like a mirror. You can fix it if it's broken but still see the cracks in that reflextion.~