You are my mother...who does not act like my mother...because you simply are...not my mother. You are not my mother because you are not the woman I grew up looking up at. No, my image of you has gone from a strong and loyal like mulan to the old witch from snow white...ya know, the one that gives snow white the apple to eat? the one that kills her? Yep. that's me and you. I'm snow white and your the evil witch. If you keep shoving, poking, pulling, and backstabbing me then you will get your wish for me to act like a cold, empty shell that does everything you want me to do, however you want me to do it. I will not have emotions, i will not have an opinion, I will not be breathing. I will simply...be there. Not in spirit, no of course not, why? Because you stole my spirit, but I will be there in body. Why? Because you can not bury a still living, breathing and functioning body.

 Now, you do not abuse me, you have never laid a hand or finger on my being; however, that does not mean you do not abuse me...because you do. You simply abuse me by not knowing you abuse me. You abuse me emotionally and mentally, not of course to your knowledge. You abuse me by making me feel like trash with words. Actually, I always feel lower than trash...it's more like dirt or like im worm or like im stuck in the back of my mind watching you fight with me; which is not really me...it's just my body because you stole my spirit, remember?

You never cared and you still dont care, you can act like you care but i know the truth. How do I know you don't care? Because how many times have we gotten into fights over stupid fucking bullshit? Do you really know? Because I've lost count. How many times have you made me cry because you started crying because I apparently "had an atitude" with you? I've, again, lost count. BUT that's okay because I know you love me. It may be your job to love me, but at least you still love me.

My last and final thing to say (Which im not saying, I'm writing and if this is ever seen by your eyes than I shall burst into flames and die. over and over and over again. I will before in agony and pain because you read this. I do not wish to be in agony so please, from the bottom of your cold, dark, non-insisting heart do not read this.) to you is: Fuck you. Learn my name. I am not my sister, I am not my brother (because I am not a boy.) I am not my father. Most of all: I AM NOT YOU! I will not make the same mistakes that you did. So...if you would kindly....Piss off and let me live.

~I watched you die, I heard you cry every night in your sleep, I was so young, You should have known better than to lean on me, You never thought of anyone else, You just saw your pain...~Because of you by Kelly Clarkson