i wanna hold hands with you—but that's all i wanna do
right now.
_______
dan

i knew i was shaking, i could feel it in my water soaked bones. the warm water had now run cold, my tangled fringe sticking to my forehead–a constant reminder of how cold the water had truly run.

suddenly my ears burst with inklings of sound and suddenly i didn't want to be alone anymore.

phils hand had slipped out of mine at some point but i knew he was still sitting there on the cold tiles.

i squelched my eyes open, letting my pupils loll towards phil.

"ph-phil,"

my words were moist, my voice lacking cracks and instead dripping with honey– slow and sweet.

he raised his eyebrows slightly to acknowledge my words.

"i don't wanna be alone anymore." i whispered, reaching for his hand with my pruned fingers.

he must've noticed my splashy eyes because he grabbed my hand.

"okay, shh i think you've been in the water too long." he whispered, leaning forwards on his knees so he could stand up.

"no-no phil– don't leave me!" my voice broke with a sob and i placed my watery hands on his face, wishing the water would be adhesive between our skin the way my hair was to my forehead.

i saw the way his body stopped for a second at my broken voice.

"shhh dan, i just need to get you a towel." he whispered, furrowed brows and all.

i let my hands slide off his face, my eyes falling towards the water.

he moved slowly, i could see it in my peripherals, as if he would make a sudden jolt and my skin would break.

he placed the towel on the floor next to the bath, mumbled "i'll be in your room." and left.

i closed my eyes, pushing myself underwater to rid of the drippy feeling beneath my ribs and then proceeded to get out of the cold water and wrap the towel around myself.

phil

i sighed, laying back on dans bed as i waited for him to change in the bathroom.

his footsteps brought me out of my thoughts, causing me to sit up.

"he-hey." my words came out more breathless than i wanted them to be.

dan was stood in front of me, his soft knees only thirty centimeters away from mine, in only a loose band t-shirt. he looked like a god.

"phil?" he whispered, twisting his foot against the carpet.

"you okay?"

"can you..you c-cuddle with me?"

"ohmygod-oh my god, dan yes." i let out a breath, suddenly releasing stress i didn't know i was holding.

"cool." he nodded, stepping closer slowly with his face downturned until his knees were pressing against mine.

"don't be afraid to touch me, i won't bite." i laughed softly, seeing a small smile fill his eyes– the first of the day and it was already past six pm.

his face was pink as he slowly clambered onto me, his knees pressing against my sides–a nonsexual straddle.

his soft hands found my neck, traveling over the white skin.

"thankyou, phil."

his voice was soft and sweet.

and that's when i moved my hands to his soft curves, hidden under the band-no-one-remembers-shirt, and kissed him.
_______________________
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