cause i have hella feelings
for you
______
dan

"you okay?" i hear phil ask—except his voice sounds like it's drowning in my ear, as if someone poured cold water in my ears and prevented his voice from reaching me clearly.

i nod anyway, glancing up towards him. i observe that his eyebrows are pulled together in worry.

"just tired." i whispered, looking down again.

"tired? you said you slept well?"

his voice was deeper than usual when he asked that.

"i did." i stopped walking as we reached the bus stop, looking up at him.

somehow i could tell he understood what i meant completely.

phil

dan looked adorable drowning in that black sweater of his.

although he looked more drowning than adorable today.

he usually glowed and smiled lots and despite him still looking pretty as ever—i could tell he was drowning.

the way he took a second to respond to my words showed me that his ears were drenched.

his eyes moved slowly, examining everything as if his vision was impaired by a layer of water.

the way he looked at me as if i was the only form of warmth that could possibly dry him.

and all throughout the school day he stuck by me, as if he were drying himself.

i think he was still damp when we both arrived at his house after school.

dan

i knew mum wouldn't be home when phil and i arrived, instead at work—she sent me a text during lunch.

"homework?" i whispered as i dropped my bag by my bedroom door, looking up at phil.

i saw the way his face changed, as if he'd just been hit by a wave of sadness.

"you okay?" he asked, i knew the simple words had more meaning behind them.

i nodded, already feeling my cheeks heat up and my throat close as the urge to cry pushed against me strongly.

he sighed and grabbed my arm gently, leading me towards the bathroom.

"you need to relax." i heard him mutter to himself.

his hand pulled away when we stood inside the bathroom, "i'll work on some homework for now, you need to let go and get rid of all that water blocking your ears." he smiled slightly when he said this, though i knew exactly what he meant.

"run yourself a bath and call me if you need anything." he smiled genuinely.

my face stayed blank but i nodded.

then he left.

i moves towards the bath sat in the corner, turning the faucets so the water would be soothing.

i removed my clothes, feeling the dampness lighten slightly but continue to cling to my skin.

i dropped into the bath, grabbing some berry smelling body wash and adding it to the water until it had a layer of bubbles resting atop it.

i closed my eyes, lulling my head back slightly.

that's when the flood gates broke.

it wasn't loud or dramatic, rather quiet and sorry-sounding little sobs rolling down my face and into the warm water.

i heard the door open, soft feet padding towards me and then a hand in my hand.

i squeezed their hand cause i knew it was phil sitting on the cold tiles beside me as i let tears escape my closed eyes into the bubbly water.
__________

idk man was this too much