Trinity

I opened my eyes and saw Lila's feet beside me. It took everything in me to not push her off the bed. She was the roughest sleeper I ever met. She had to fall off the bed at least three times.

I grabbed my phone and started to go through my notifications. There was nothing serious. Eli texted me, but I couldn't pull myself together to open it.

Lila stirred in her sleep. I assumed I was moving too much, so I got out of bed and began my morning routine.

Luckily, I didn't have much to do. Sunday's were always chill days for me. I went to late service church. Mommy and Daddy went early, with the rest of the family because they went to a different church. I used to go there, but I got a chance to be on the choir in a major church, and I couldn't turn that down.

Once I finished doing everything I had to do, I went to the kitchen and started to fix lunch. By the time Mommy, Daddy, Owen, Myles, and Tyler got home, it would be time for lunch. I would also be getting ready to leave at that time.

I quickly made everyone their own sandwich. Mommy liked turkey, lettuce, and tomatoes. Daddy liked ham, lettuce, turkey, tomatoes, mustard, and mayo. Owen liked the same thing as mommy, but without the tomatoes. Myles and Tyler loved peanut butter and jellies. Lila is such a picky eater, that she only eats jelly on bread.

After I did all of my duties, I ran upstairs to get dressed. I threw on a white t-shirt, and some jeans. No one dressed fancy for church anymore, at least not at my church.

Lila stirred in her sleep. I looked over at her, and she was sprawled out on the edge of the bed. I smiled and pushed her back to the middle.

She fell off of the bed so many times. She always loved life on the edge, figuratively and literally.

"Where you going Trin?"She whispered so softly.

"I am going to church. Would you like to come?"

"Are they giving out juice and crackers again?"

I laughed, "Lila, that is communion. It's not a snack."

Lila loved communion. It was her favorite part about church. Whenever she went, she always begged for communion. I don't blame her. Communion is good, but it shouldn't be the only thing motivating her to go.

"Let's find you some clothes,"I said as I pulled her out of bed.

***
"Amen!"The older lady shouted beside me.

I nodded my head as pastor continued to preach. She was giving a good word today, and I was really finding myself at the center of it.

"I think somebody needs to hear this...God didn't give up on you. You've done God dead wrong. There's been days you didn't even acknowledge him, but he never does that to you. He wake you up in the morning. He takes us to our jobs safely. He keeps us from danger, but yet we still feel unloved,"She said as she walked across the stage. "He loves you so much, he sent his son to die a painful death for us. Who's given their life for you? Who loves you that much?"

I thought about who could possibly love me that much. My parents love me, but if I was in danger, they would never know. They wouldn't care. My friends love me, but I was their hero...not the other way around.

Eli was the only person I could think of that truly loved me enough to take a bullet. Thinking deeper into it, Eli doesn't love me enough to only stay with me. How could I blame him? I didn't love myself much either.

Service quickly came to an end. I stood up and grabbed my things. I looked into the crowd for Eli. He sat in the back with the rest of the church goers. I sat in the front because I was on praise team.

We locked eyes. Through hundreds of people, we could single each other out with ease. I waved, and he motioned for me to walk towards the exit with him.

I pushed through the crowds as I gave quick hellos, and thank yous to everyone who approached me. Plenty of people knew me, and they always wanted to have a conversation.

As soon as I approached him, I could smell the cologne that he had on. It was my favorite one. He even had on my favorite outfit. He was trying hard, for me.

He had on the green dress shirt I bought him last Christmas, and black ripped jeans. It was the perfect combination. The simplicity made it so attractive.

"There's my favorite girl,"He said as he pulled me in for a hug.

I fell into his trap, hugging him back. His hands snaked around my waist and got to roaming farther down. His touch was amazing, but we were in church, and I was still angry with him.

"Eli, please, we're still in church."

"Sorry,"He whispered in my ear. "It's hard to keep my hands off of you."

I felt my insides tingling. Reluctantly, I pulled away. He chuckled as he watched how bothered I was.

"You coming to the party tonight?"He asked. "I'll pick you up."

I sucked my teeth as I realized I made prior commitments. I promised to go to the party with him, and I even made up a lie to tell my parents. It was too late to back out now, and I didn't have much else to do.

Nya begged me to go too. She wanted to meet Amir's new friend. She found out he would be at the party, and she planned on scaring him away. She was so in love with Royale, she couldn't see past her mistakes.

"I have to go get Lila,"I responded. "I'll text you though."

"I'll go too. I haven't seen my little friend in awhile,"He offered.

Not wanting to tell him no, I just nodded. As we walked through the church, we got weird looks. Most people were surprised to see us together after the cheating scandal.

He slipped his hand into mine. Reluctantly, I squeezed it as we walked to the children's church.

The line to pick up a child was long. He stood against the wall as he scrolled though his phone. He wouldn't let go of my hand, but I knew he wasn't interested.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and decided to scroll through Instagram.

1,472 likes made me smile. It's been awhile since I've seen my numbers at this level. They would only go up from here. My social media presence was everything to me.

"Can I have those crackers?"I heard Lila say.

I looked up from my phone and saw her begging for more communion. I sighed loudly and walked over to where she was. I grabbed her hand to pull her away, but her feet were planted to the ground.

"Please!"Lila begged.

Eli swooped Lila into his arms. She went into the air giggling. I laughed as she erupted with little giggles.

"Eli!"She shouted.

"Lila, we are in church,"I said sternly.

"Oops,"She giggled. "Eli!" She said a little quieter.

"Hey my favorite little princess,"He responded. "How have you been?"

Eli and Lila were practically best friends. I always believed he loved her more than he loved me, and right now was no different.

Whenever we were together, and Lila was around, I never got any attention. He thought of Lila as his own, and I loved it. It made me think of when we'd have kids, how much he would love for them.

"Not good,"She said in a whiny voice. "They wouldn't give me any more of those crackers and juice."

"Lila Moore,"I said. "I told you those crackers were for comm-"

"I'll bring you some tonight,"Eli interrupted.

I shot him a look, and he gave me a bright smile. Lila was happy about that. She loved communion.

***

I sat the red plastic solo cup on the table. I wasn't one to drink, but I was feeling like I needed one.

Parties were never my thing. I hated all of the sweaty bodies crowded into one room. No personal space, and no privacy. It was hard to speak over Street Sweeper by Gunna blasted over the speakers.

Girls were bent over on guys. Cameras were out recording what they could. I never knew how females were okay with this. I would never let someone record me. Eli doesn't even get that privilege.

"There that bitch is,"Nya screamed in my ear. "Go talk to him. Make him come over here."

I sighed as loud as I could. She gave me puppy dog eyes, begging me to do as she asked.

"I hate you,"I mumbled under my breath as I walked to where he was.

He was standing against the wall watching over the party. From the looks of it, I wouldn't even assume he liked guys. He looked like a stereotypical guy.

He had short dreads that were pulled back out of his face. He also had on a pair of jeans with a black hoodie. He looked nice. I wouldn't see him doing any harm.

He looked at me as I walked towards him. He gave me a soft smile, and I gave him one back.

"Hi!"I shouted over the music. "You must be new here!"

"Yeah! I just moved here about a week ago!"

The music was so loud, I could barely hear what he was saying. I turned around and look at Nya. She was mean mugging the hell out of him. The look I gave her said everything.

"Do you want to go outside and talk?"I shouted again. "It's extremely loud in here!"

"Yeah, that's cool shawty."

Shawty registered in my brain. There was only one person who's every called me shawty, and I hadn't talked to that one person in awhile.

As I followed him out of the door, I looked around to see if I could find that one person. Their lingo was so much alike, you would think they were related.

Once we were outside, we walked to the end of the driveway. Many cars were outside. Some people were in their cars, smoking, having sex, and doing hard drugs.

He took his hoodie off and placed it on the ground, so I could sit on it. A little smile formed on my face. No one has ever been that generous to me. This was new.

"That's really sweet,"I said happily.

"Don't get no ideas,"He chuckled. "I gotta boyfriend."

"Ha...ha...ha, funny joke,"I said.

I wanted to find out everything I could about him in a few minutes. I never had trouble doing that. I usually compare people to their stereotypes, and I watch the anger form inside of them. They tell me their life story, and I find out the information I want.

"Nah, no joke, Shawty. I actually got a boyfriend."

"You're gay?"I asked.

"Pan-sexual."

He looked over and saw the confused look on my face. Of course I knew what pan-sexual was, but I wanted his words. I had to give Nya direct quotes.

"I like people. I don't have a preference for a certain gender or gender expression."

"So, you're basically bisexual?"

He sighed slightly, "Bisexuals like females and males, who were born females and males. I like transgenders, gender fluids, females, males, non binary...anything really. It all depends on if I'm really attracted to you, and I've learned that I'm attracted to almost everybody. You just can't be a shitty person...like you acting right now, shawty."

My cheeks became red as I realized I was being a bad person. I tried to smile through it, but he rested his hand on my shoulder to reassure me I was okay.

"Don't worry 'bout it. My parents are even worse than you."

I laughed, "Religious?"

"That's an understatement,"He chuckled. "They've grown to accept it, more, but it's still foreign to them. They just struggle to understand, this is me. I can't help who I want to marry and fuck sometimes, you know?"

I nodded in agreement. He was extremely down to earth. If he wasn't fucking Royale, Nya would love him. Nya has the same beliefs, even though she's straight. She was adopted by her lesbian mothers. She was all for the lgbtq+ community.

"Your boyfriend...he goes here?"I asked.

"Yeah, before I moved I tried to connect with some people. He dm'ed me, and it kind of went on from there. We not official, but within the next two weeks I plan on getting the balls to ask him."

"There's not many gay people who go to school here. You got extremely lucky,"I said as I nudged his arm.

He laughed, "He's bisexual, so I don't think of it as luck."

That confirmed everything I needed to know. Royale was the only boy who openly expressed that he was bisexual at school. We had plenty of gays, masculine and feminine, but we didn't have many open bisexual guys.

"Aye, 'Mir. I'm ready to go nigga,"A voice said from behind us.

I turned my head and saw him. I felt a smile growing on my face, but I held it back as much as I could.

"I'm not leaving,"He said.

"Alright, stay here and flirt with Trinity,"Warren said. "What's up Trinity?"

I gave him a smile. He didn't smile back. He focused his attention on the guy beside me.

"Damn, we ain't even exchange names,"He said. "I'm Amir, and I see you've met my asshole brother."

"I'm Trinity,"I responded. "And yes... I've met the asshole,"I whispered.

"I'm out. Find a ride,"Warren said over us.

"Wait,"Amir said.

He stood up and pulled Warren to the side to talk.

I looked at the front door and saw Nya walking out. She looked beautiful as always. She had on a t-shirt and a pair of shorts, with her favorite vans. She never dressed up, but even the minimalist style was beautiful.

She walked over to me, and punched my shoulder. I laughed as she tried to interrogate me, but I wasn't ready to talk to her about it.

"Oh, Eli left. He said something about an emergency with his mama. He probably see-"

"How the fuck am I supposed to get home?"I asked. "He was my ride!"

I was frustrated. Eli always did something like this, and then I would have to rely on another person. I hated relying on other people. I only wanted to rely on him. He was my safe space.

"I'll take you home, but I'm not leaving for another few hours,"Nya offered. "I know 12 is your bedtime."

I rolled my eyes, "I'll just call an Uber or something."

"Who's this?"Amir asked.

I looked at him and Warren standing there. Warren's eyes were glued to my body. I didn't dress very special for this occasion, but I did plan on going home with Eli. My outfit was tight-fitting. I wanted Eli to still be attracted.

"This is my best friend, Nya. Nya this is Amir, and you already know Warren."

Nya gave the best fake smile I've ever seen. She was better at her poker face than I was, and I'm pretty good.

"Shawty, come speak to me real quick..."Warren said.

I pointed to myself and he gave me a "who else?" look. I rolled my eyes as I walked over to where he was. He continued to walk, making me have to catch up.

"What's up?"I asked. "We haven't spoken in awhile, and I ju-"

"You need a ride home?"He asked. "I'll drop you off."

I nodded, "But Nya can take m-"

"Get in,"He demanded as we approached his car.

It wasn't anything fancy. I opened the car door and got inside. Luckily, it was clean. It had a new car smell, bug I could tell it wasn't very new. He must've gotten it detailed.

He started the car and pulled off of the street into the main roads. He was quiet, and he didn't say much.

I watched as he kept one hand on the wheel, and the other hand rested on the door. The veins in his arms popped out. I started to feel myself getting tingly inside, which only happens with Eli.

I decided to start conversation, because I didn't want to sit in silence much longer.

"I can't go home tonight,"I said softly. "I told my parents I was staying with Nya, and if I show up smelling like alcohol, they'll kill me."

"You want me to drop you off at Nya's house then?"

"No,"I responded. "I was supposed to stay with my bo-"

"Didn't that nigga cheat on you?"He asked with a slight chuckle.

"No, he didn't. The girl just wanted some attention. Eli's not like that."

He chuckled once again. He was silent for awhile. I guess he was trying to put his words together, and I didn't blame him.

"Shawty, you think you got everybody fooled, but not me."

"Excuse me?"I asked. "What reason to I have to lie?"

"Your reputation."

He reached for his phone and turned on the radio. Toosii's Calls played to fill the silence.

I rolled my eyes and leaned back in my seat. I put my arm on the door, and rested it there. He thinks he knows everything bout me, but he doesn't know anything. He can't know anything.

•

Y'all I really haven't updated in like...

I'm sorry school just been kicking a bitch's ass 😭

Sending huge thanks to LadiBugg_ for the cover. It's so pretty, I just love it.

What y'all think of the story so far?

Trinity & Eli?

Warren?

Nya?