Trinity

I looked down at my phone. I was starting to wonder who got my number. I was very stingy with my phone number. I didn't give it to many people. If someone ever needed to contact me, they could always do so through any social media I had.

Send to Unknown
Delivered at 12:51

How did you get my number?

I opened Instagram and started to scroll through my feed. The whole school was invested in my relationship drama. Eli had made his account private. The other girl had deleted her account, and I'm assuming that's the work of Nya and Kim. I was still clueless as to what they did to her.

I decided to put the rumors to rest. I found my favorite picture of Eli. He had his hoodie pulled over his head, and his face was very close to the camera. I smiled when I saw it. He was always goofy.

Trinwantsmoore29: @Elibearden68 Forever & Always with this goofball

Once I made the post, I saw the floods of likes coming in. All of the rumors were quickly put to rest. The drama accounts deleted all of the rumors. Eli made his account public again, and the girl never showed up.

I sighed as I thought of that could've been a social disaster. Of course I was angry with Eli, but I was more angry with myself. Most of my popularity relied on him, and I could not let him ruin that for me.

I ran across the picture Eli had posted of me in response. I laughed at how funny I looked. We had went on a picnic, and he begged to take pictures of me. Eventually, I let him, and I did the ugliest poses. He took the pictures anyways though.

Elibearden68: @trinwantsmoore29 Always and Forever babe

I liked it, and put my phone back on my dresser. I grabbed my computer off of my night stand, and started to look up some things.

Anxiety was first on my list. I'd never been diagnosed with it, but Nya tells me about it all the time. The least I could do was actually see what it was.

Anxiety: A mental health disorder characterized by feelings of worry, anxiety, or fear that are strong enough to interfere with one's daily activities.

I shook my head as I read the symptoms. They didn't describe me. They couldn't have described me. I said I had anxiety a lot, but I never knew exactly what it was. I only said to it to make Nya happy.

New message from Unknown
Received at 1:03 AM

Link

I scrunched up my face as I looked at the text message. They didn't answer my question, they didn't even address it. The only thing there was a link.

I emailed myself the link so I could open it on my computer. Once I got it, I was directed to a website.

The name was Normal. Immediately I was intrigued at all of the articles. When I clicked on one, it started playing a sound track.

I fumbled around to find my headphones. As soon as I found them, I plugged them in and started to listen.

"Welcome back to Normal, where we talk about shit that ain't normal,"He started.

The voice sounded foreign. I had no clue who it could be. It sounded much deeper than anyone I knew.

"You know, I've been gon for a hot minute. That's my bad. Between the move, and my family, I don't gotta lot of time on my hands anymore,"He said. "But, I'm back today to talk about a topic we've touched on in the past. I've finally experienced it, so I have more insight, and trust me...this shit not normal."

"My brother recently came out as pansexual. I've always known my brother was a lil...different. I just never said anything, cause that's not my place,"He said jokingly. "Well we sitting at dinner, and he decide to just blurt it out. Pops started choking on his food. Mama started mumbling, 'Oh, Jesus,' and I just gave him a smile. Like I said before, I wasn't surprised."

I laughed again at the story. Surprisingly, this was entertaining.

"Mama and Pops ain't say nothing for the rest of dinner. My brother finally got so upset, he left. He ain't just leave dinner, he left the house. When he left, Mama and Pops started talking. I think they forgot I was still at the table,"He said. "The conversation was interesting, you know? I ain't never seen my parents like that."

"Our son is fucking gay,"Pops said. "I blame this shit on you. You let him to watch them fruity ass tv shows."

"Don't blame this on me!"Mama shouted. "I don't have shit to do with him being 'pansexual'. What in the hell is pansexual anyways?"

"Our son is a fucking joke,"Pops said. "Wanda what the hell are we supposed to do about this?"

Mama shrugged her shoulders, "I'm going to call Pastor."

"You know I kind of just sat there like, wow. The whole time I'm wondering what my brother doing. Long story short, my brother comes home two weeks late. My parents still aren't happy with him, but they let him in. Pops don't speak to him at all. Mama only address him when she needs too."

He stopped for a second, not saying anything. The silence was surprisingly making me anxious for what would happen next.

"To help my brother out, I decided to introduce him to a few people who identify the same as him. The way I was doing my research on sexuality was tedious, you know? Everyday I'm coming home trying to learn about the spectrum, figure out what it is what, help my brother. That's all I wanted to do was help my brother. Eventually, I found some people like him. I set up a meeting date, and we go to this little coffee shop. When we get there it's four other people, 3 guys and one girl. Two of the guys are gay, one is transgender, and the girl is pansexual as well. All of them are black by the way, I think I forgot to mention that,"He told. "We get to talking, and I'm hearing all their stories. Then they start speaking about how parents are supposed to act like that when you come out. At first, I didn't think anything of it, but then when they started describing the emotional abuse they went through, I knew something wasn't right."

He sighed loudly into the microphone. Feedback played a little in the background, but nothing that was too noticeable. I found myself wondering who this could be, and why I was directed this way.

"That shit isn't normal. We have to stop thinking like that in the black community. When you tell your parents who you really are, they should accept you...not push you out. We all believe that they should push us out, and we prepare for that. This isn't just for sexuality though. Young women who are pregnant, depression, drug addictions, religious beliefs, those are all the things we think our black parents should push us out for. They shouldn't. That shit isn't normal,"He said with a certain anger to his voice.

"I put some links in this article. You can read about that toxicity black parents carry with them. Once again, I'm not saying all black parents are trash. I'm saying...we gotta work on our culture man. Mental health is real, and the more we push it aside, the deeper the wound,"He preached. "Remember ask yourself 'is that shit normal?'. Much love y'all, peace."

I found myself staring at the computer.

"What in the hell?"I muttered to myself.

As I scrolled through the rest of the articles, I saw all of the controversial topics. Topics on mental health, sexuality, respect, pregnancy, and so much more were available.

The words Love Series popped out to me. It had plenty of episodes to it. I clicked on the first one, and was immediately relieved with his voice.

My door opened. I quickly shut my computer in my lap. My parents wouldn't be happy if I was entertaining myself with this.

"Can I sleep with you tonight?"Lila said softly.

She stood at the door with her blankie. She wasn't any taller than the door knob. Her doctors say her growth spurt is going to happen, but as of right now it's not coming.

Lila was the second to youngest child. I really bonded with her, because we're the only girls. She just started kindergarten, and I don't see her as much as I normally did. I hated that our relationship drifted, but I was always there whenever she needed me.

"Come on,"I laughed.

"I brung my friends,"She said as she walked into the room.

Behind her, was a wagon. In the wagon was a whole stores worth of Teddy Bears. She was obsessed with them. Of course I made her that way, but I didn't know it would be this bad.

Once she finished putting all of her stuffed animals on the bed, she jumped in. I helped her up, because my bed was pretty high.

"Trin,"She said quietly. "I want to be you when I grow up."

I hugged her a little tighter than I normally would.

"Don't be me, Lila..."I trailed off. "It's no fun."

Her soft snores were her response. As much as I appreciated her admiration, I wouldn't wish my life on anyone.

It truly is no fun.