"No, no it's like this." Brian explained, taking out his wand and waving it in the required motion. John stared in his direction, not truly looking at anything and seeming to prefer watching paint dry. The little cactus in front of them immediately flourished, it's bright pink flowers decorating it while a healthy shade of green spread from top to bottom. Even once the plant's health was restored, John barely looked at it, still staring blankly at the wall opposite of them.

"Hey! You wanna pass or not?" Brian asked, snapping his fingers in front of John's face.

"God, I just don't care! I couldn't care less about plants!" He groaned, leaning back in his chair and letting out a loud sigh. "I'm never going to bloody use this! And whatever her name is doesn't exactly make this interesting!"

"You got two years-"

"Yeah great but I could actually be focusing on something helpful! God I'd rather be in potions, least I can use that later on."

"I thought you wanted to work with animals." Brian commented.

"Well yeah! I can use potions on animals. Or using them to help others or..." He drifted off, looking down at the table and shrugging. "It's ridiculous, forget it." John muttered.

"Hey helping others with that isn't ridiculous. Though, knowing you, you'd use it on a hippogriff before a human."

"So? They don't complain as much." John paused for a second. "It's just...What if there was some other way to help Fred out."

The solemn look on John's face returned. Even yesterday after their chat that morning, he'd been so much quieter around them, even though he had said he was perfectly fine with what they had told him. And yet, his attitude only showed the exact opposite.

"I mean, there are people out there right now trying to do something. Believe me, I want to help more too. But I don't know anything about making new potions or anything nor do I really know what happens with...them when they come out..." Brian admitted. As much as he hated saying it, he didn't want to know what happened, how it looked, or how it acted. He had enough of the latter three years ago. Like Freddie would even allow him to know about it anyway.

"Isn't pretty in the slightest." John told him. "I've only seen drawings of it and what people always say happens but really, it's just looks painful, let alone what it actually feels like. Really, the only thing we know about it is that it hurts. It's gotta kill Fred to go through it by himself..." He began, something reigniting in his eyes and he turned around to his bag that sat next to them. Brian leaned forward a bit, watching him rummage through his book all while whispering excitedly under his breath.

"I read it among those books Jenk gave me. Something about protecting oneself from a werewolf." He said while rushing through the pages of a book he himself hadn't ever seen. "See! Right there! 'Werewolves, while extremely dangerous, and possibly lethal, to humans, are of little to no harm to other species. Its sole purpose is to spread the curse via its nasty bite to other humans. This is why many wizards who are often attacked by werewolves have few, if any, other injuries to their bodies minus the bite. Only in rare instances does the beast intend to kill or continue attacking after biting its victim.'"

"Okay and please explain why that's helpful? What do I just toss some bunnies in there?"

"What're you, daft? One of us just has to become an animagus!" John exclaimed happily. "It might help him. Though he, well, can't control himself, the company might help him out a bit. And one of us would be right there to help in the morning!"

Brian merely scoffed at the idea. It'd be impossible to do so. Like the school or ministry would allow a student to ever become one, especially if it dealt with keeping a werewolf company. They'd never let him do it and it was ridiculous for John to even fathom the idea.

"No." He told him bluntly. "John you've any idea how dangerous that is!? Just cause animals aren't as susceptible to being bitten doesn't mean they're invulnerable. Besides, you think the ministry's gonna allow one of us to do that?"

"They don't have to know. There's plenty of books on becoming one-"

"Yes, and there's hundreds of steps to follow and thousands of ways it could go wrong- disastrously wrong." Brian told him. A saddened look instantly formed on John's face, John folding up his book and sighing softly, prompting Brian to instinctively place his hand on his shoulder. "I know you wanna help but right now all we've got is that room to lock it up in."

"Yeah, the room you two won't even bother to show me." John growled.

"John, you only found out yesterday."

"Lemme see it still!" He begged. "Hardly anyone's here! Would you rather do it with everyone else bustling around here?"

He opened his mouth to argue but couldn't find the right words to refute John's plead. No matter how anyone wanted to put it, Brian couldn't get rid of that pit in his stomach. It just felt...wrong. Like he was betraying some governmental secret to an enemy. That room had been known to only he and Freddie since their third year and the chance of someone else finding it always left the chance for them to find out what really happened in there.

"Do you think I'll let someone know about it?" John asked accusingly, his own betrayal appearing on his face.

"No! No, of course not! It's just..."

"C'mon Bri. It's a quick thing and I'm gonna have to know how to get in there, aren't I?"

Each argument was just breaking him more and more. How could he say no? In reality, there wasn't any reason to say no. And yet, he still didn't want to. Of course he trusted John and he knew no one else in this school was going to find out. So why was he so nervous about showing him?

Yet his conscious couldn't fight back anymore. He agreed and sat up, John instantly leaping up from his seat and dashing down the stairs and waiting right by the exit of his house. Brian forced a nervous smile, his own guilt continuing to gnaw at his rational while he led John down the corridor and out into the tower. It felt horrendously wrong for him to go near that room again, especially without Freddie being anywhere near the room, or inside the room. John's own excited and curious expression wasn't helping either. How could someone look so eager to see that hellish room? Was it some sick interest of his to see something that ravaged? The mere idea made the small pit of anger grow.

They climbed down the final set of stairs, Brian already following the path that had been ingrained into his mind after doing this so many times. His feet led themselves, John following close behind and almost copying his every movement, as though he had to do everything exactly as he did.

And then came the hallway. Nothing was out of the ordinary. No other students, no teachers, not even a stray rat scuttling across the stone floor. The large window sat at the end of the hall, the grey clouds stretched across the sky while the snow continued to fall down onto the frozen blanket that sat on top of the grounds. Not an ounce of darkness sat in the sky and the impending night was hours away, making it feel even more wrong for them to be anywhere near this area.

"It's down the hall." Brian told him bluntly, annoyance seeping into every word as they approached the area. John looked towards the wall, his grey eyes studying it for any abnormalities so he would know where it could possibly be.

"Just...picture a room. Any room you want. After that, all you have to do is-" He began walking up and down the area, Brian now desperately trying to come up with a room in time. "-Walk back and forth three times."

Just like that, a wooden door appeared on the wall. John jumped back but immediately drew closer, dragging his hands across the wood and looking back towards him. Brian's stomach dropped as he took out his wand, cautiously opening it up and heading inside. Even before he opened the door, he could imagine what was strewn across it.

Upon opening it, John rushed ahead, instantly freezing as soon as he laid eyes on the scene. It was just as Brian remembered it and it brought back the sick feeling he had gotten that morning. The only difference was the lack of Freddie curled up in the corner, his whole body slack across the floor and blood gushing out of each visible wound. But the blood stains, ruined décor, and tufts of fur still remained.

"He's...Stuck in here?" John asked softly. "It looks...Different."

"What'd you expect? A prison?" Brian asked bitterly, knowing full well how many times he had made it look like a cage.

John's face went white as he turned away from him. He continued to look around the mangled room, kneeling down and timidly reaching out to a rather large clump of fur. The phantom touch of that beast's fur ran along the tips of his fingers, the loud thud of it crashing against the ground sounding from behind him. His grip around his wand tightened, his body preparing itself for some form of attack.

"S...Surely you don't..." John began, sorrow starting to lace his eyes as he sat down, jumping as his hand touched a patch of dry blood.

"We gotta. It's not this exact one every time..." He said. "I try to make it different each time."

"Wouldn't it break out? I mean, glass isn't too hard to-"

"Enchanted."

"And you can't have no windows. It might kill him if he skips a moon." John told him, forcing himself back on his feet and walking over to the windows, trailing his hands across the glass and staring out to the grounds. He himself could truly only focus on the marks in the wall near the glass while John continued to take everything in at once.

"Have you ever...Seen anything?"

"No. Really only heard a b-bit..." Brian admitted, forcing back any resurfacing memories. "I don't want to either." he said, turning away from John's curious and worried expression.

He took a seat near one of the cleaner parts of the room, falling back against the wall and sliding down until he hit the ground. John continued to look around, his odd curiosity bustling beneath the concern in his grey eyes.

"Tsk...To think this place is heaven compared to what we gotta do at home..." Brian began, this comment now earning John's attention. "Lock it up in our old shack at my house and toss so many charms onto it while keeping our families quiet so they don't get hurt." He buried his face in his hands, every muscle in his body tensing up at the sheer thought of having to do all that again. "Freddie wouldn't forgive himself...He couldn't live with himself if he hurt anything..."

That terrible thought filled his mind, Brian using every ounce of strength he had to push it right to the back of his mind, trying desperately to control his expression to keep it as neutral as possible. Something lit up on John's face, causing him to cautiously walk over and take a seat next to him. He watched as he picked up another bloody tuft of fur, rolling it around in his fingers and letting it fall to the ground, immediately wiping away any possible blood that stuck to his fingers.

"I just want him safe..." Brian said softly. "And I couldn't even do that! He's the...the best thing in my life. The best person I could ever have come across." His heart skipped a beat. "You should've seen him when we first met. I'd tripped on a loose tile on the way to class and he helped me up." He scoffed and let a small grin make its way up onto his face. "I was just enamored with him..." All that filled his mind now were those lovely images of Freddie baring that wide smile of his, one that he really only let show when it was just the two of them, his brandy eyes beaming with that wild energy of his or that brazen light sneaking up onto his face as he'd act like some pompous queen, talking in his eloquent voice that grabbed his attention, no matter what it was that he'd tell him.

"Trust me...I know the feeling. It's really only been a year but Roger's just...absolutely wonderful. God knows he's an insolent brat at times...But he's just...So wonderful. Been like that since we met on the train here and he let me sit in his compartment. He was right pissed when I didn't get in Gryffindor..." John gave a quick laugh. "But he kept it up. Using any opportunity he had to come see me or try to get to know me."

"And then you nearly had him in tears for an hour when you said you'd go to Hogsmede with him last Valentine's Day. He came right up to me shouting 'He said yes!' for a whole minute and went right on about you for the whole hour."

"Really?" John asked, his eyes growing softer as a relaxed smile grew across his face. "He puts on such a show at times-"

"Oh God Freddie's like that too! Sassy little shit he can be out in public but you just get all soft around him and he melts in your hand."

"Jesus Roger's just like that! Puts on his little cheeky attitude but soon as he's with us or just me he's a big softie." He paused and sighed softly. "It's really cute..."

Brian snickered softly, leaning forward and looking out towards the window. Snow was slowly falling, almost every flake visible as it drifted down to the earth. Those warm feeling began to heat up, that fierce fire for revenge and the steel plated protection taking its place. He wanted to be back on that night and take the dammed thing's life. It'd be the best thing anyway. Whoever was infected wouldn't spread that curse anymore and Freddie wouldn't be petrified of running into that one ever again.

"He nearly died." Brian stated, John staring right at him, Brian's own gaze growing harder. Brian inhaled deeply, his clothes feeling like they were growing damper and damper again while he used every ounce of his strength to lug his partner back to the castle. "T-they're not meant to k-kill...So why did it try to do so with Freddie? H-he shouldn't have b-been b-bitten...let alone nearly killed."

He gave a helpless look towards John, hoping he'd give some kind of answer to one of the countless questions that lurked at the back of his mind. How come it was him? What did he do to deserve this? All Freddie wanted was a night with him...And he nearly died because of it. Even now he looked so close to death every month because of it. Why? What on earth did he do to deserve this sort of life?

"He c-could've died...H-he could've died that night. They're not meant to bloody kill anyone! So why did it keep hurting him?!" He growled, unable to shake away the constant bombardment of hideous images from that night. Just how close he had been to losing him and what might've happened afterwards. Everyone would blame him. They had every right to do so anyway. He didn't help and they'd blame him now if word ever got out.

"Well...There's an idea that they only do that because they've been deprived of a human for so long. So they just get too excited and-"

"And that's why he could've died!? Because that ruddy creature couldn't go bite itself and whine about not getting to attack an innocent child! He was thirteen John! Adults barely know how to deal with this! Let alone a thirteen-year-old! Even now we don't know what to do! I won't know what to do if I ever run out of herbs or if he attacks himself to near death! I won't know what to do if I ever get hurt! Hell if I ever get bit by it, Freddie's-" He cut his sentence off, not wanting to think of what he would ever do if he ever infected him.

Tears finally welled up in his eyes, the building pressure that had been growing since John mentioned this room finally making him snap. He hated breaking down because of this. He refused to do so in front of Freddie. He could not be the weak one. Not now, not ever. And yet there he was, breaking down in front of John who had no idea what the hell to do because he'd only just been thrown into this whole mess. Now he was throwing all of this crap right at him, expecting him to know what the hell to do when even he didn't know after dealing with it for years.

"I can't lose him...I just can't, John...He tries so hard to stay strong through all this, like it's not affecting him. But you've seen him. He just gets so empty when it has to happen. There's none of that energy or feistiness. He's so subdued and quiet...It's awful to have to watch a-and just...He tries to act strong, he tries so hard. He doesn't talk about it and doesn't whine about it unless it just happened or he's scared because he might hurt one of us." He looked back at John who was still looking for the right thing to say. "He's so scared of hurting us. Not just if he ever...infects us but if this secret ever gets out to the rest of the world. We'd take a giant hit from everyone out there because we're involved in harboring one of them at this school. Parents would be furious; our families wouldn't be the same...I might lose him. My parents wouldn't let me be with him anymore..." His words finally stopped coming out, a few choked out noises taking their place as he tried wiping away the pool of tears that hung at the corner of his eyes. The noises fell apart and dissolved into complete sobbing. To think he'd nearly lost him once. He just couldn't come near that again, not because of this stupid, unfair thing.

"You won't lose him. Bri c'mon now. You've lasted this long! That's gotta be something!" John tried, grabbing his arm to try and shake him out of his hysteria.

"It's like you gotta wake up every morning, wondering if it's the last day your lives are gonna be the same. Every single day it's like that...Even you just finding out threw everything off. Anyone else and we'd probably be thrown right in front of the headmaster or the Ministry. Hell Roger would flip if he found out."

"I doubt that would-"

"Oh come off it John!" He snapped. "You know what he thinks of those things. He hates them far more than the average person! He'd probably kill it on sight if he didn't see him beforehand..."

"Roger wouldn't do that. He might just hurt it but he's incapable of killing anything. It's just not in him..."

Anyone with functioning ears could hear the stress John was placing in each and every word that came out of his mouth but Brian just couldn't accept anything he was saying. He knew what'd happen if Roger laid eyes on any of those things, especially if someone's life was in danger. If he ever saw John near one...Someone wasn't making it out of there alive.

"I know him. You know him. He's not going to kill anything. Even a werewolf."

He had heard everything John had said, but they all dissolved into some incoherent babbling that he wouldn't be able to remember, let alone believe. John's refusal to accept what would happen just made him sicker. Out of all the people in their group, John should be the one who knew about Roger. Even in class he was said to act so different whenever they spoke about these creatures. If he ever saw one...

Yet that was the exact reaction everyone would have. Fear or anger. That's it. No one would straight up walk to one and pet it like it was some domesticated dog. They'd hide or run away. Most might even try to kill it the instant they saw it, giving little or no thought to the fact that that beast was a human almost all the time. Would they go and throw a curse at a normal wolf or human? No. They bloody wouldn't. If it was a human, they'd try and help. If it was a wolf, they'd leave it be. Both could attack them and kill them but it was the idea that they'd be infected themselves that drove them off. No one needed to kill it...But so many would.

"Sometimes I wonder if it was better to let him go that night..." Brian finally whispered.

"Brian!"

"What if it was? What if he did die that night...We'd be sad and miss him...He wouldn't suffer or-"

"Brian!" John started, shaking him out of his daze. "Listen to me. That wouldn't help at all. Him living here is always better than him dying that young. You wouldn't have accepted it and damn it all if Freddie gave in the instant he found out. It takes so much to bloody break him and it takes a lot to break you too. Don't let it be this."

Fog began to cover his mind as he tried to keep every dastardly thought out of it. No matter what they weren't going to be safe. He couldn't lose him...The mere thought nearly made his heart stop. But maybe if he had let him go back then it'd be easier now and...No, it wouldn't be. They'd just be crushed and he could only begin to imagine if Roger knew what had killed one of his closest friends.

"John please..." He began, giving a grim look around the room, not wanting to be around any of it now. "Can we get out of here? I don't want anyone to find us coming out of here."

Hurt spread across John's face, not giving another argument and stood right up, holding out his hand to help him get up. Brian gladly took it, his head pounding furiously, causing the room to spin around him. He held his ground, keeping his eyes shut as much as he could while he and John made their way out of the room. As they approached the door, Brian released John's hand, looking ahead as a volatile urge began to rush through his body.

"You wait outside." He ordered, giving him a harsh stare to silence any further back talk. He said nothing and walked out, Brian knowing he had gotten his seriousness. He yanked his wand out of his pocket, his grip tightening around it as he turned around and stared at the room in front of him.

"Incendio." He growled under his breath, watching the jet of orange flames shoot out of the tip of his wand and instantly hitting the carpet in front of him. Heat hit his face as the fire began setting everything in front of him alight. Scarlet, blazing reds and oranges, and the cooler slashes of gold curled and spread rapidly across the room, latching onto anything that wasn't stone, making quick work of burning it to a black crisp.

He so wanted to let it burn. To let every ounce of powerful magic in this room to finally go up in smoke so that he wouldn't ever have to trap Freddie in here again. So that he would never have to imagine the pain he went through because he'd broken his oath to protect him from harm. And yet, he couldn't. He couldn't let it go on for any longer. Once smoke began to cloud the ceiling and made his breathing grow steadily more difficult, he sighed, giving in and flicking his hand around, putting the rest of his focus into casting the required charm. Clear water shot from the tip, Brian trying to let it spread as far as possible to silence every trace of fire. Flames sizzled and cried under the gushing water that crashed over it, the heat plummeting until the room felt cold and damp once more, the only remnants being the small clouds of smoke and the charred floor and walls, leaving nothing left but the stone that resided beneath the carpet.

...

"Did you show him?"

Brian and John looked over at Freddie, who was toying around with the remaining chicken on his plate. A half-eaten bread roll sat to the side, the butter still continuing to melt against the still warm inside and a few bits of braised carrots were still at the edge of the plate, the sweet coating still clinging to the corner of Freddie's mouth.

"Yeah..." John answered for him. "Showed me how to get in and what to do before." He said, cutting off any further explanation about what had happened.

"And?"

"Didn't know what I'd expect. Certainly wasn't what I thought but, well, definitely does work."

Freddie gave a painful smile, shrugging soon after and taking another bite of the chicken at the end of his fork. John continued to wolf down the rest of his meal, happily taking another scoop of stuffing from the bowl in front of them even though there was still some on his plate. He felt Freddie's hand on his leg a second later, the gentle touch feeling oddly comforting and making his muscles relax.

"Bri, dear, why's your cloak burned?" Freddie asked, Brian glancing down and seeing a rough, grey patch sitting near the edge. The memory flickered to life, all the fire surrounding the room and just how good it felt to see everything melt and turn to ash, vanishing from sight so he would never have to see it ever again.

"Accident with a potion. Some spilled and caught it."

"Explains why you reek of smoke. Jesus you look like you were playing with dragons."

"Now that'd be something I'd pay to do! You ever see one up close!?" John exclaimed, his eyes bustling with excitement. "They're absolutely marvelous to watch!"

"And you'd be burned to a crisp in a second." Freddie replied.

"Nonsense! They're like every other animal when they're scared." Something else flashed across John's eyes, but it vanished a second later. "Just gotta know what's scaring them and you can help any of them."

"You try telling that to Kettleburn. Poor guy's already lost a limb because of animals." Brian continued, only for John to scoff at his response.

"He said that was when he was younger. Hippogriffs get like that from time to time." John finished, adding a proud smirk at them before returning to his meal.

God we've another Scamander here don't we. Brian thought as he began finishing his own meal. Freddie reached out in front of him, grabbing another roll of bread and scoffing it down like it was the first thing he'd eaten in months. He took a moment to wipe away the remaining food that hung around his mouth and leaned over, adding a quick peck on his cheek and earning a hearty laugh from his partner.

"Someone's being cuddly." Freddie commented, wiping up the remaining gravy from his plate with one last piece of bread, eating it in one go. Before anyone could respond, Freddie lunged at him and pinned him down against the seats, giggling playfully as he leaned down and planted his mouth right against his. Warmth rushed through his body, forcing back the mortification that had arisen for just a split second. He moved his hand up behind Freddie, laying them against his back while he placed his own atop his chest.

"Oh c'mon guys, have some kind of decency." John said, from above, Freddie not daring to pull away just yet.

Brian joined in, wanting to savor the fleeting moment for just a few more seconds before someone else caught them. He pulled him closer, hearing him hum softly against his collarbone. Neither wanted to let go, and who could blame him for not wanting to? At that moment, he couldn't care about anything. Freddie's touch seemed to alleviate every ailment that plagued his thoughts and brought a beautiful light into his mind that touched the very culmination of his soul. Peace, serenity, love...Everything began to gather strength once more. Until, as expected, something tore it away.

"May! Bulsara! Get off each other now!"

Even with the harsh shout from McGonagall, both didn't rush to part. It felt far too nice to have him pressed up against him and he truly missed it. He missed tranquility and how much time they had spent together. Now it just felt like they were distant and it petrified him for any of that once powerful spark to die off because they just had no time.

Once they did separate, Brian's mind kept working while his body wanted to just nestle up to Freddie in their room with some music in the background, nothing and no one to bother them with any nonsense or news that would take their mind of the other. They needed to be somewhere hardly anyone could get into, besides that accursed room. A light formed in his mind, Brian unable to hold back the smile that instantly spread across his face once it began to settle into place.

"What're you thinking about Bri?" John asked after he downed his juice.

"Nothing. Just what I might do later on."

His eyes flashed over to Freddie, a dejected shadow passing over his face. Oh don't worry love...He thought softly, hoping he could read his thoughts for just a few seconds. It'll just be us, no one else. He promised silently, reaching over and grabbing his hand. Freddie jumped in his spot, looking down and giving a soft smirk before leaning over and wrapping his arms around his waist, humming softly while he toyed around with the edge of his cloak. A movement caught the edge of his eye, Brian adding a quick look towards John, whose own face was growing sad with longing.

"Hey, Roger'll be back soon. I bet he's sending another letter out." Brian said.

"Yeah, yeah he probably is he but...I dunno I just, miss him." He whispered sadly. "It's hard knowing he's not here. I just hope he's alright."

"Why wouldn't he be, dear?" Freddie asked out of curiosity.

John scoffed, now looking down. "Nothing...I'm just being paranoid, aren't I?"

"No, not at all." Freddie replied, sitting up and looking at him with worry, Brian's own concern starting to grow.

John didn't even need to say it. The memory hit him like a brick. When John did finally talk, Freddie's face fell, guilt spreading over his face.

"Thirtieth is almost here. I like being with him when it comes 'round." He answered. "He always goes to the grave and I gotta remind him that he couldn't do anything to help. He was only seven. Even adults can't..." He cut himself off, immediately taking his eyes off the both of them. Freddie sighed heavily, shaking his head to clear his thoughts.

"You can send him a letter. How 'bout that? We'll come if you want." Freddie suggested, Brian adding a hopeful nod afterwards.

"Thanks...I dunno if Rosie would wanna fly-"

"Oh fuck that! You know she's a strong enough owl to handle the cold. Plus, Roger'll help her out once she gets there. He loves that thing just as much as he loves Zephyr." Freddie exclaimed, jumping up from his seat and smiling widely. "Oooh, we should send him something! John, dear, you've anything to send him? Something from Hogsmede? Or-"

"Don't worry. I got him a broomstick and an additional care kit back when I went to Diagon Alley in August. Sent it to his house before he left so his parents could wrap it. Cost nearly every galleon I had but I know he loved it. God the guy loves brooms..."

"Should write a song about it." Brian remarked.

"But a letter does sound nice..." John resumed. "Quick little thing would be nice." His face fell once more. "God I wish I could be there..."

"Sometimes you just can't be." Brian reminded him. "Doesn't mean you sit back and do nothing. You always do what you can."

John hummed in response, getting up from his spot. Freddie instantly rushed ahead, grabbing John's cloak and tugging him out of the lunchroom, Brian being forced to dash after the pair, John now too stunned to even speak after Freddie's sudden burst of energy. They all ran across the castle until ending up outside and near the stairs of the Owlery. Brian nearly collapsed onto the stone steps while John was clinging to Freddie for support, the originator of this whole thing standing proudly and looking at them like they were the crazy ones for not being able to keep up.

"Now that was nothing! Come on you slowpokes, every second is precious!" Freddie berated, leaning down and yanking himself up from the steps.

"Fre-Freddie! We just...just ran across t-the entire...bloody campus! Give...Give us a...second..." Brian managed, still trying his best to breathe.

Freddie rolled his eyes, kicking his leg up against the wall to the Owlery. By the time both had regained their breath, Freddie was impatiently tapping his foot against the stone and staring them down.

"C'mon then." He said in a much softer tone.

Owls hooting and screeching hit them as soon as they opened the door, dozens of large eyes turning their way and watching them as they walked in. Only a second later did many just return to looking around, sleeping, eating, or cleaning themselves. John walked forward, looking around for his little barred owl, who was already flying down from up high to land on the windowsill, her little leg stretched out and ready for his parcel or letter.

"Anyone got paper?"

Unexpectedly, and surprisingly, it was Freddie who had the spare sheet and quill, to which John just shook his head and took out a pen, Brian snickering at the time when he had pulled it out in front of Roger and had to spend ten minutes explaining pens to him. He laid the parchment out on the little table that sat in the middle of the room, Rosie flying over and sitting next to him, nibbling at his ear while hooting happily. Brian tried to look over John's shoulder to catch a glimpse of what he might be writing, only to have Freddie grab his sleeve and pull him back, shaking his head dismissively and motioning to stand next to him.

Freddie laid his head against his arm, pressing against him like some cuddly cat, to which Brian began to stroke his back, hearing him hum softly.

"I miss you..." He whispered.

"I miss you too." He said back, unable to hold back a smile once he moved even closer.

"I'm glad it's a holiday. Get to spend some time out of classes." Freddie began, his eyes moving over to John. "What'd you think happened this time?"

"Probably the same thing. You know what they're like. Poor bloke probably didn't want to deal with it again."

"Hmph..." Freddie huffed. "Lousy prats. I'm surprised Roger hasn't socked them in the jaw yet."

"He probably would've but John doesn't want him to. It'd make it worse."

God I'd probably punch them. Brian thought bitterly, adding a worried glance John's way as he continued writing his letter. Freddie pushed himself even closer, leaning the side of his face against his chest and shutting his eyes. He couldn't help but shut his own, tightening his own hold around Freddie and savoring the peaceful atmosphere for those few seconds that it existed. Only when Rosie gave a loud cry did Brian open his eyes, turning his attention over to John who was wrapping up his letter with a loose piece of string and tying it to his little owl's leg. Her wings flapped excitedly, chittering in her high-pitched voice.

"Get it to Rog as soon as you can." John instructed, his little owl turning and flying out the window in a second. John absentmindedly walked over to the window, laying his hands on the stone windowsill and staring out at the sky, rays of sunlight hitting his small face and turning his eyes into a bright silver.

"Hey, he'll get it. He's tough anyway, he'll be okay..." Freddie told him, John not moving his gaze away from the sky.

Freddie didn't wait for a response. He let go of him and walked over, laying his hand on the center of John's back, the touch still not moving his eyes away from the sky. His body seemed to go weak, yet he forced himself to stand tall and fight back any of the rising emotions and turned to face Freddie. Neither of them spoke but even Brian knew what they were both saying. Freddie motioned towards the door, John nodding and following. Brian followed behind each of them, shutting the door and heading down steps.

"C'mon John, it's okay." Brian told him softly, seeing him look behind him with a concerned expression.

"Yeah...Yeah I know. It's just...I miss him, that's all." He replied, his eyes starting to shine even more with the collection of tears forming at the corner of his eyes.

"Hey, that guy's one of the toughest out of all of us."

"It's not that!" John barked, an uncharacteristic anger spreading across his face as he spun around, his hands curled into fists at his sides. Freddie snapped into attention and turned around, moving forward to try and help, only for John to storm past him and down the steps, vanishing from sight within seconds. Brian lunged forward, Freddie reaching out to stop him, only to be pushed back and nearly falling over from the force.

"Brian dear, don't." Freddie said, looking behind him in the direction John had ran. "Let him calm down. He's going through a lot right now."

"But-"

"Brian." Freddie repeated, now looking him right in the eye and breaking him instantly. Brian let his arms fall to his side as he looked down at the ground.

"I just wanted to help."

Freddie gave him a grim stare. "You can't do that with everyone...You just can't do that..."

...

Neither had seen John for the rest of the day. Wherever he had run off to had to be well hidden for no one else had seen him either, though there hadn't exactly been many students to ask. Once it had been dinner, they gave up, knowing something bad must've been bothering him if it meant he wasn't showing up to the last meal of the day. And yet, for Freddie, it was nice not having John there. It was so nice to just have some time between him and Brian without the impending worry of someone interrupting them. While he was still a tad bit sullen, he knew he was starting to get back to his better mood once he got some food in him. Again he took his usual seat laying against Brian's lap, moving his hand away from him only to grab another bit of his dinner.

"And then I said to him 'I'll buy your silence for the rest of the year!' and all he did was just march right off!" Freddie exclaimed "Just walked right away like I wasn't worth his bloody time! God the nerve of some people!" Freddie then pulled a smirk. "I still won though. Last time anyone wants to comment on what I'm wearing."

He lifted one of his legs into the air, tossing his head back and shutting his eyes, laying one of his hands on top of his chest, trying to pull his most regal face. "I could dress like a queen if I had money! Good lord imagine going somewhere with galleons upon galleons to spend! Be absolutely marvelous!"

"We wouldn't get out for ten hours knowing you!"

"Precisely!" Freddie continued, shooting up and throwing both hands up into the air. "It'd be splendid! Plus, I could get you some shirts without buttons since you have no idea how to button them all up! Hm...Then again I don't mind the view."

"Don't you bloody start again." Brian groaned, adding a quick look around to make sure no one was watching this time around.

"Hm, don't be so prude darling." Freddie purred against the side of his face, moving even closer and laying both hands on his leg. He added a playful bite at the back of his jaw, snickering as he felt Brian's face instantly heat up. "It's cute when you're shy."

Despite what he wanted to do, Freddie refrained and pulled away, finishing up the last bit of his meal before pushing away the golden platter. His eyes moved down towards the middle of Brian's cloak, the idea only having a second to truly manifest in his head before he reached out and yanked his wand out of its pocket. Brian turned towards him, nearly choking on his pumpkin juice. He instantly reached out, his hand swiping at the air as Freddie jumped back, wiggling the wand around between his pointer finger and thumb and baring a playful grin.

"Come and get it Bri." He teased, jumping back again as Brian lashed out again.

"Why you-" He began, Freddie catching that smile on his face before he fought it back.

"Gotta be quicker than that!"

He leapt off the chairs and landed on the ground, not even giving a glance back to see if Brian was chasing him, his loud footsteps answering that question for him. They both dashed out of the main hall, Freddie making sure to keep ahead of his boyfriend to avoid capture. He rounded the nearest corner, hurrying down the corridor and finally taking a peek behind him, seeing Brian desperately trying to keep up with him. You'd think he'd be quicker with those long legs. Freddie vanished around the next right, dashing up the stairs and pausing at the top, sticking his tongue out just as soon as Brian got to the end of the stairs.

"Now I can't be that fast, can I?" He taunted, whirling around and climbing up the last set of stairs towards the north tower.

This time around, his own speed began to diminish, forcing him to slow his pace ever so slightly. Brian's approach sounded from behind him as he reached the door to the Ravenclaw house. The eagle sprang to life, giving its little riddle and Freddie having just enough time to answer it before hurrying inside. He turned and helped the door close even faster, grinning wildly at Brian's stunned expression as he rushed towards the door.

Before Brian could get inside, he headed up the stairs and into their dorm, shutting the door behind him and looking around the empty room. Where to hide...Where to-oh! Just as the sound of Brian's marching up the stairs sounded through the wooden door, Freddie stuck his wand down his trousers, hiding it on top of his left thigh.

"Come and catch me big boy." Freddie continued, leaping on top of his bed just as Brian lunged for him.

Unfortunately, the bed wasn't as sturdy as the floor was. Freddie took one last jump back on top of it and instantly lost his balance, falling right down onto the mattress with a loud thud, his body rising up once more before falling still. He tried to get back up, but Brian was on him in an instant, placing one of his legs atop his waist and pinning both his hands down to the bed.

"Alright, where'd you hide it?" He asked, fighting back his smirk to try and keep his serious charade going.

"Gotta look around. Bet you'll like the hiding spot." He answered, lifting his waist up ever so slightly.

A light Freddie hadn't seen in so long shined inside of Brian's gaze, making him instinctively bite down on his lip. Without another word, Brian planted his mouth on top of his, letting go of his wrists and latching onto his clothes. Their heavy breathing filled the room, soon mixing with the sound of shuffling clothes. His hand grabbed at Brian's cloak, tearing it right off of him and letting it fall to the ground while he wriggled out of his own. He felt his hand land on top of his leg, running up along the wand that had gotten him into his current position. Yet he knew Brian didn't care at this point, for he just quickly went back to undressing him.

It was only when he removed his shirt did something unsettling started to churn around within his stomach. Stop it stop it stop it. He ordered, trying to get himself back into the moment. But the touches and sounds were starting to lose their effect. He tried his best to try and cover his chest back up, not wanting all the new scars to be seen again. His attempt failed instantly, for Brian thought he was just being playful and easily pushed his arm aside, placing his splayed hand on top of his chest and running it across every single white line. Once his hand grabbed the back of his legs in an attempt to really get started, Freddie pulled himself away, getting as much of himself out from underneath his lover as he could. Brian sat up, concern seeping into his eyes once more as Freddie reached out and grabbed a pillow, covering himself back up as much as he could.

"I'm sorry..." He whispered. He grabbed the wand out from underneath his trousers and held it out, Brian taking it and laying it on top of his nightstand. "I thought I'd be ready but-"

"Fred, we've done it before-"

"Yeah and we were both fully clothed in a fucking dungeon. Besides, we didn't really do anything. Jerking each other off is different then-"

He silenced him with another kiss, gently cupping the side of his face. Brian instantly returned to running his hands across his body, Freddie groaning uncomfortably as he tried doing so again.

"Brian stop it." He said with a much sterner voice, guilt tightening his stomach as he pulled away once again. He looked back at him, shutting his eyes and turning away once he saw that lost look upon his face again. I just can't...

A cold touch hit his hand, Brian's own interlocking with his. When he opened his eyes again, he saw something new light up Brian's face. He opened his mouth to question it, only to have Brian shush him. For a moment, his curiosity beat out his guilt. He lifted him up from the bed, grabbing his shirt from the mattress and holding it out to him.

"Follow me." He told him once he got his shirt back on.

He cocked his eyebrow at him, Brian giving no further explanation but still holding out his hand for him to take. The two of them left the room again, Freddie still holding onto his hand while they made their way out of the dormitory, down the stairs, and back out into the main part of the castle. They continued down towards Brian's selected corridor, Freddie desperately hoping they weren't going towards the room.

Yet his confusion continued when they paused in front of the bewildered statue, Brian looking a bit to the left before leading him in that direction. He gave the required password, Freddie watching the door creak open and Brian lead him inside.

The unnaturally golden glow of the bathroom hit him instantly, making his eyes squint at its brightness. In front of him lied the monstrous "bathtub" with its rows of golden taps sparkling beneath the light. He gave a grim look towards the sinks before Brian tugged at his hand. Brian finally let go of it, stepping back and turning the two of the faucets, the water filling up three-quarters of the tub in a matter of a few seconds. Wisps of steam curled off the surface, Brian taking the time to turn another tap that spilled out a light purple water, filling the room with a delicate lily scent. He stared at it, watching the purple spirals swirl around inside of the water, the flowery scent pleasing his senses.

"Brian why-" He began, cutting himself off once he caught sight of his now undressed boyfriend. His face went dark, Brian's own obvious embarrassment hiding beneath his forced confidence. He didn't even get to ask anything else before Brian leapt into the tub, the water splashing everywhere, including himself. While the floor dried instantly, he was still left drenched in the water.

Once Brian resurfaced, he couldn't help but give into his smile that he'd been forcing back. Seeing Brian without his curls looked so wrong, like seeing a dog meow. He swam over to the side closest to him, laying his arm against the border and then placing his face against his arm.

"Wanna join me?" He asked. "I know lily's your favorite."

"Is this just another excuse to see me naked?" Freddie asked, this time with a smile.

"Hmm...Maybe." He admitted. "Then again, who wouldn't wanna see that?"

"You dog!" Freddie shouted, leaning down to splash some of the water into Brian's face.

"I mean it though!" Brian retorted, keeping his own smile going. "I love it..."

Shame returned to his stomach, Freddie avoiding Brian's hopeful stare for a few seconds. He won't see anything. You'll be underwater. It'll be fun too. He told himself, adding a quick glance towards Brian. He gritted his teeth, trying to follow that sliver of determination that had grown because of his boyfriend.

"I can change it if you like. I know you adore those pink bubbles."

"Just don't look for a second, okay?" He asked, seeing his face fall, but he gladly obliged and went back under. He inhaled deeply and began taking off his outfit, keeping his own eyes shut while he removed his shirt. His skin prickled, every hair standing on end. It felt like a million eyes were on him, invisible whispers echoing around him now that he didn't have his shirt to hide his scars. The feeling only worsened when he moved south, Freddie now clinging onto the little bit of determination inside of him once he removed his trousers and undergarments. Those invisible whispers instantly turned into gasps of horror, Freddie wishing his could just hide away or at least cover everything back up. Lasers shot from those invisible eyes, landing right on that giant scar upon his leg, forcing his heart back up into his throat as he leaned forward ever so slightly and tried to desperately cover as much of him as he could.

"Am I allowed to look now?" Brian asked playfully, Freddie prying his eyes open and seeing him still facing the other way. He couldn't find a response. Before he could risk Brian turning around, he leapt into the water. The shock from hitting the water vanished within a few seconds, Freddie now venturing a glance at his surroundings, only to find them being blurred by the lavender water around him. He made his way back up, taking in a large gasp of air once he broke through the surface. That lovely, flowery scent hit him as soon as he resurfaced, the scent bringing a small smile to his face.

"Now that's a sight."

Embarrassment flooded his face as he shrunk down below the water as much as he could, leaving just enough of his face above the water so he could breathe through his nose. Concern returned to Brian's face as he made his way over, Freddie still trying to keep his attention from the neck up. He still couldn't get over the fact that this was all Brian's doing. All of this was something he should've concocted and yet the roles were completely reversed. Brian, his Brian, actually showing confidence for once! It would be like the sun turning green. Yet he handled it with such an awkward grace that Freddie couldn't help but watch him try to be alluring and brave.

He watched as he lifted his hand out from the water and held it out. "Don't worry, I won't look if you want." He told him.

He recoiled from Brian's reach, still keeping his arms tightly wrapped around him. However, Brian kept his hand out, his eyes silently imploring him to at least take it. It's alright. They whispered as he beckoned him once more. Freddie did take it this time, looking up at him as he straightened himself up until he was at his full height.

"Got my favorite view back."

He grunted in response, his body feeling sicker by the moment. Dammit Freddie just stop. You've dealt with worse...This shouldn't be that bloody hard.

"I mean it. I love seeing you. Every part of you."

"Now that just sounds like another reason to see me naked." He told him.

"And as I said, who wouldn't? You're like a..." He paused, his face turning bright red as he fumbled for some kind of comparison. "Like a flower among rows of...dead grass?"

"Charming." He replied, splashing another bit of water into his face.

He fell back into the water, soaking his hair again and coming back up only to see Brian's own embarrassment climbing back onto his face. Freddie swam over, adding a quick shove at Brian's waist and watching him lose his balance and fumble around in the water.

"What was-"

"You're not the best romantic dear." Freddie admitted. "But God it's cute when you try."

"Sorry I'm not Mr. Suave but-"

"I never need you to be. I'll take that end for you." He said.

"You do have some great ideas."

Freddie's face fell in an instant. "Yeah...Like a moonlit view of the forest for our anniversary."

He sunk under the water before he could see Brian's reaction. His eyes fell shut as he swam to the edge of the tub, leaning forward onto the border and staring at the illustrious designs along the wall. Water splashed from behind him, Brian's thin fingers on his shoulder coming just a second after. He sighed and leaned forward even more so, continuing to keep himself from looking at his boyfriend.

"Freddie...You didn't know...Hell you couldn't have known! All you were doing was trying to make it a romantic night. I should've been out there with you from the start so that we could be together that whole time."

A silent growl arose in his throat, Freddie's thoughts continuing to bombard him with everything he wanted to say. Stop blaming your damn self! It's no one's fault but my own and I will not stand to see you suffer because I fucked up! But he stayed silent, giving a soft sigh in response.

"That's the past though. We've come a long way from there." Brian continued, now bringing his other hand up to hold him closer. He sighed once again as he ran his hand across his damp chest and buried his head against his neck.

They stayed silent for a few moments, Freddie savoring the gentle touch of his boyfriend against him. He focused on nothing more than the soft breathing against his ear and the occasional lapping of the water against the sides of the tub. I just don't want to anymore...

"I'm so tired of being afraid Bri..." He finally said. "I want to go further." He managed to turn himself around so he could finally face his boyfriend. "I don't want to be petrified of every moon. I don't want to have nightmares anymore. I don't want any more attacks. I just...Wanna move on..."

Freddie again looked away, but Brian reached under his face and lifted it upward so he would look at him again. He nearly melted at that beautiful, hazel gaze of his. Every bit of concern and love that was etched into it only made him more unstable that he had been that whole night.

"And we will. I promised that I'd do anything to protect you and I swear I'll be there so you won't have to deal with it anymore. I have absolutely no idea how the hell we'll get there, but I know we will."

His body finally collapsed into Brian's; yet this time no tears came. He just wanted to hold him, hold him and never ever let go. How on earth did he find someone like that? Everyone else would've left him if they found out he had this. But Brian stayed. For some unknown reason, he stayed. Not only that, he kept him safe from anything that might have caused him harm. He wished he knew that he would do that for him but there had yet to be a time when he could even begin to repay him.

Until that time came, however, Freddie could only focus on the fact that Brian was still there with him. It made him beyond happy that he was and all he could do now was just hold on and not let go. He relished in every second that he sat there pressed up against his body and every beat of Brian's heart.

"Thank you..."

"For what?"

Freddie looked up at him, giving a small smirk his way. "You know what..."

"Oh Freddie...Come on now, you know that-"

"Shut it. I mean it. I'm so happy you're mine."

Brian did indeed fall quiet. The two of them fell back against the opposing edge of the tub, sitting atop the seats underwater. Freddie nestled himself against Brian's body, watching out of the corner of his eye as Brian studied his body. And for the first time in ages, he didn't mind.