Christmastime had slowly started to vanish. There was now a lack of any pine scent inside and the decorative reds and greens had been whisked away until next year. The new year came and went, none one really giving much attention to it. Throughout the last few days of the break, Freddie and Brian hadn't seen much of John. They saw him once in the dining hall, but he refused to talk to them. He merely stared at them before marching off without another word.

It was the day before Roger's return that Freddie saw John once again. He had been walking down to the courtyard to get some fresh air and eventually saw him heading up towards the Hufflepuff tower. Before John could hurry off, Freddie lunged to the opposite side of the hall and snagged John's sleeve, hearing him yelp out in shock.

"Let go!" He growled, trying to tear himself free from his grip.

"No. I wanna talk." Freddie told him.

"Tsk. About what?"

"I'll tell you but you're coming with me first."

John shot a nasty look at him, Freddie hardly remembering a time that he had ever seen him look so angry at anything. He ripped his hand out of Freddie's tight grip but begrudgingly staying where he was. Freddie motioned to the empty classroom they were near, John stomping in while Freddie trailed behind him.

"Is everything alright?" He asked.

"Just fine!" He told him in a hard voice, the only hint of emotion on his face being his furrowed brow.

"Yeah and Bri's short. John c'mon now we haven't seen you in ages. What happened?"

"You know damn well what. Your bloody boyfriend can't keep his nose out of others' business."

"Oh trust me, I know." Freddie told him. "He just wants to help John, that's all."

"Doing a pretty shit job at trying."

"This is about Roger, isn't it?" Freddie asked, seeing John's face tense up even more as he tried to hold himself stable.

"Now why-" John began in a slower voice, pausing and turning away.

Freddie took a seat on one of the nearby tables, John paying little attention to him and keeping his steely gaze on the ground. After a few more seconds, John finally looked his way, his shoulders going slack.

"He doesn't get it, does he?" John finally asked. "He thinks Roger would understand...A-and he just won't. Brian's been his friend for so long, longer than you two have known each other. Surely, he would know what he's like with this. Why would he think he'd be okay...?"

He heaved a heavy sigh, Freddie searching for what to say while John continued to stare absently at the wall. Just because they all knew why didn't mean any of them truly understood. John tried to understand and Freddie himself would try to but for some reason Brian never did, even though he thought he would finally know what Roger was going through. 

"He's never had to be away from you like this. His family doesn't even understand. Yeah, they all miss his grandfather but Roger was the only one there. How does that not hurt someone who's barely eight-years-old?" John told him. "And you know what he's like."

"Well..." Freddie began, sighing once more and shutting his eyes, giving a small shrug as to push the building weight on his shoulders. "One really wouldn't like them..."

"But it killed him. Werewolves really don't do that...I mean, not intentionally. Some bleed out if there's no help but Roger said this one just...Went for the kill. And right in front of him! He was lucky to get out of there unharmed. I dunno how he did it...But thank god he didn't get hurt."

Freddie looked down at the ground, knowing how scary it was to be in that situation. One wanted to just run and hide and you were always stunned for those few seconds that your brain would try and figure everything out. Roger's few seconds gave him enough time to get to safety. His nearly killed him.

A chair scratched against the hard floor as John took a seat next to him, folding his arms across the table and leaning forward. His eyes were glossy as he occasionally shrugged and mouthed a few words and expecting him to understand what he was getting at.

"John..." Freddie began.

"I don't want to lose either of you. You're the best friends I've ever had and I can't lose Roger either."

"You said he wouldn't find out though."

"So? It still hurts sometimes. Knowing something like this and having to hide it from someone you love."

"Believe me, I know what that's like. Hmph...Keep in mind we hid it from you guys for ages." Freddie told him, pausing for a second. "Look dear...If Roger never finds out, it's gonna be okay. I know he doesn't like them, believe me, no one really does. But-"

"There just has to be a way for him to understand that they're not all like that...Yeah, they're savage brutes but once in a blue moon do they kill a human, intentionally nonetheless. I know they're not that bad."

"Now now John don't-" Freddie began, seeing some odd spark of realization shine in the young boy's eyes.

"Oh c'mon Freddie! You out of all people should know that they're not terrible."

Any kind of relaxation within him went up in smoke, a hard anger boiling beneath the surface as his face grew dark. He crossed his arms and looked down at John, digging his nails into his cloak. 

"Yeah. I know what they're bloody like. They're brutes without any other thought besides wanting to attack some poor person so they could spread that curse. They're less intelligent than wolves with the IQ of a beetle. I've seen what they're like with people-" He started, tearing down the collar of his shirt to reveal the multiple scars he'd inflicted upon himself. "-And it isn't pretty. And this is what I bloody do to myself! I don't ever want to be in front of a person when that thing is out. I've seen what it does and felt how much it hurts."

"But Fred that was an exception with-"

"Shut up with your exceptions!" Freddie barked, shooting up from his seat and glaring down at John, an animalistic glare igniting his eyes. "I know what they're thinking and it's only about hunting down people! Not staying safe or hunting some random deer! They're not wolves, John! They can kill with ease and if you survive you're cursed. It's a bloody double-edged sword! You wanna complain about how Brian won't understand but here you are unable to comprehend the fact that these are not safe!"

"I know they're not safe!" John insisted. "But their main goal is to infect, not to kill."

"Exactly! Now tell me if you'd rather live with this or just die from the start." Freddie asked, his lip curling up into a sneer.

John was instantly taken aback at his words. But Freddie hadn't even given them a moment to manifest into his mind. The amount of times he had run over this idea had turned it stale and bland. So unappealing that in the most boring of times he wouldn't resort to thinking about it. He continued to hover above John, awaiting some kind of response. Fear and desperation was etched into his face, that look of innocence instantly extinguishing the anger as Freddie sat back down, clenching his jaw and tightening his grip around himself.

"John...You don't get it either. Have you even seen one in person? Looked into that unnatural glare that lurks in those soulless eyes? We've all seen one and I see one monthly..." He paused, shutting his eyes for a second and seeing those piercing blue eyes staring back at him. "You've no idea how scary it is to be in someone else's body and not control anything."

"Freddie...That's what I want Roger to realize. He thinks that the way the beast acts is directly related to how the person is. He won't trust anyone because he thinks they're just as cruel as their wolf state." John explained, Freddie now avoiding eye-contact with him. "Please...Trust me. I just need evidence that they don't-"

"You wanna tell him." Freddie finally admitted, his chest growing heavy.

"No! No, no it's not that at all!" John insisted. "I don't want to, not unless you would-"

"Why the hell would I want him to know?! It's a bloody terrible ethical dilemma for him! You think it's gonna be easy to let me live while also knowing I'm the exact same thing that killed his grandfather?!" Freddie howled, John closing up for a second while Freddie collapsed onto the table, groaning loudly and stuffing his hands into his hair. John honestly thinks Roger would ever consider them as anything even remotely human. It was a naïve and terrible thought to have and whatever he had learned about these beasts hadn't done him any good. All he thought was they were friendly little puppies who were just scared! Ha! The sheer audacity made him want to sock him in the jaw if he said that again. 

"Freddie please believe me. I know that in due time Roger could come around but right now I just want Brian to remember that it isn't easy for him right now. That's all this is about. Not me wanting to tell Roger about what's going on, not about convincing you that these creatures are perfectly safe...None of that. It's just really irritating when Brian thinks he can even relate to what Roger's going through."

"Yeah 'cause Brian never once dealt with a...werewolf attack." Freddie said through gritted teeth, his stomach shrinking as the poisonous word coated his mouth.

It was then that John paused and looked down. Now it finally dawned on him and it made Freddie's anger once again drop. Why couldn't Roger have just been accepting of any of this? If only he didn't get so hostile with them...Maybe it would be okay for John to tell. And yet, he knew that he couldn't blame it on Roger. He had every right to be hostile towards them, just like every other person in the world.

Freddie finally unclenched his jaw and looked towards John, eyes still glossy and distracted, Freddie almost able to see the tear forming in his mind.

"I'm sorry dear...It's just scary...Heh, that's really all there is to say about it, isn't there?" Freddie asked. "You think it'd be easier to tell your friends...But it's really just us three and really only been between Brian and I for the past few years." He paused, thinking back to what it had been that dragged them both into this. "It's not Bri's fault that he doesn't truly understand what it means to shut up and stay out...But please try and understand where he's coming from."

John only shrugged for a second, seeming to be lost in thought for a second. That room fell quiet for a few moments, Freddie's mind just an incoherent jumble of thoughts but none really making him feel bad or good about the situation at hand. If only it could be easier...Hopefully everything could calm down once Roger got back from holiday. No...Who was he kidding? It'd just get harder. John hated secrets and liked keeping things blunt and honest and having to lie to Roger might just break him. The poor kid was so young and didn't really know anything about dealing with this. With the days flying by like they had been, it'd only be a matter of time before they all had to deal with this again, only this time John would have to keep it from Roger. The thought hurt him and Freddie really couldn't bear to imagine the toll it'd have on John.

"I'm sorry for being absent..." John apologized. "I'm still kinda pissed with Brian for thinking he knows everything."

"Trust me, I wanna slap him sometimes. We all get miffed if he acts like that all the time." Freddie told him.

John snickered. "You have slapped him! Remember? He wouldn't shut up one day and you whacked him over the head!" 

"Well-!" Freddie began, giving a quick laugh before continuing. "He needed it! Serves him right for being so stubborn!"

"Oh and you're not?"

"That's not the point right now." Freddie explained. His smile died off for a second. "Just give him a pass every now and then. Think...Think of it like when Roger's upset about his grandfather around this time. He gets defensive and irritated but you don't get mad at him. You just try to help and that doesn't always work. It's the same with Bri. He'll go and apologize a million times but just let him know what's going on, alright?" Freddie asked.

"Yeah, yeah I know. It's just frustrating at times. I mean, I get where he's coming from, Roger's gotten annoyed with me trying to help before, but he acts like he understands where I'm coming from. Being worried about your...boyfriend..." The word seemed to make his mouth turn sour. "You just want them safe."

"In a way he does. John love what do you think he goes through every month?" He asked, seeing a small light form in his grey eyes. "It's similar in that sense and in Brian's eyes, he can relate to you being worried about Rog's safety. Let him be, alright? It won't hurt. Just c'mon down to lunch with me. It'll be alright."

"Okay then...Am I allowed to smack him if he gets outta hand?"

"I'll probably do it before you do." Freddie admitted, both of them laughing afterwards.

Both of them got up, John lunging forward and hugging him tight. Freddie nearly jumped out of his socks and looked down at the kid. In the few moments his eyes were open, that longing and confusion arose, only to be blocked once he shut them. It tugged at his heartstrings, Freddie instantly reciprocating the hug in hopes of making him feel better. In all honesty, it ended up helping him feel better too.

...

When lunchtime did come around, both found Brian sitting by himself at the table down in the dining hall. The sight truly hurt, but the hope on his face once Brian spotted them instantly dashed away any sadness. John took the lead, Brian looking slightly ashamed once they both looked at each other for the first time in days.

"I'm sorry...I-" Brian began.

"It's fine. Don't worry." He took a deep breath. "You're just worried about it. That's all. I really can't get mad at you when you just wanna help." John explained, Brian giving a soft smile.

They took their seats, taking as much food as they wanted, filling their plates to the brim, and walked out. None of them really wanted to sit in there, especially with no one being in there, the large and empty space just felt ambient and awkward.

"C'mon, let's just go to Hufflepuff's." John told them.

"Because...?"

"You two ever been in there?" 

"Well no..." Brian said. "But-"

"Oh come off it Bri. It'll be a nice change of scenery. Don't you get sick of the same old blue and gold?" Freddie asked.

Before Brian could argue again, John turned the corner to head towards Hufflepuff's tower, prompting them both to follow. They stayed behind John, the unfamiliar territory seeming like a labyrinth and that they might just be trapped there forever. However, John navigated this like an expert, perhaps because he technically was one after doing this for four years. Once near the kitchen corridor, John approached the stack of barrels, both of them watching him tap one of them. A lid swung open a second later, John motioning for them to follow, although both were still baffled by the sight. Freddie peered down the hole, seeing a dimly lit passageway that John was already halfway down. He glanced at Brian, merely shrugging, and followed.

His natural depiction of the passageway was quickly dispersed the farther down he went. It quickly grew brighter and much more comforting, almost cozy. The area slowly grew more inviting, the final sight of the actual common room looking like a stereotypical painting of an old-fashioned living room. The fire was lit and charmed to be more golden than any other color, the mantlepiece decorated with various badger carvings while the moving portrait of Helga Hufflepuff herself smiled at all of them. Everything there was either a dark shade of yellow or pitch black, emulating the colors of the house they were actually in. Various pieces of furniture seemed to be calling out to them, the oversized cushions looking like one could fall asleep just from staring at it.

"So? Whadda ya think?" John asked as he plopped down onto one of the giant beanbags near the fireplace.

"Really homey...Simple, but in a good way." Brian said.

"I think it's brilliant!" Freddie exclaimed. "You know you do get a bit sick of all those dark blues. I quite like yellow to be honest. This here just looks great! Albeit it looks like a bee might've had a say in the colors..."

"Least we don't have to deal with a riddle to get in here." John told them. "Although...Reeking of vinegar isn't all too fun..."

"Vin-" Freddie began.

"Is that why some of those first years smell like that?!" Brian suddenly exclaimed.

"Yeah. You get the puzzle wrong and you get sprayed with a bunch of it. Kinda sucks...But once you get it you rarely get doused in it."

The room suddenly seemed less cozy with the impending idea that they might leave reeking of vinegar now sitting inside of Freddie's mind. He and Brian took a seat with their meal, surprised at how little they'd lost on the way here. Half of John's meal was already off of his plate and inside the much happier fourth year.

"You know, we really should get going on patronuses." Brian said once they were halfway through lunch. "Just in case Jenk decides to speed up."

"You guys are already doing that? I thought you guys started in seventh year." John admitted.

"Well he does move quicker...Maybe more like, I dunno, April? But we gotta keep ahead of the game...Just in case, well, we gotta take a bit of time off." Brian explained.

It's okay...You wanted to move on. You gotta get used to talking about it every now and then. Freddie told himself, keeping a neutral expression as he continued eating.

"That's kinda...brilliant! No wonder you two are so far ahead! Kinda amazing if you ask me. I'd love to know how to conjure up a patronus, especially before Roger. Boy he'd get a kick out of that! Also get to rub it in his face a bit."

A wicked grin spread across Freddie's face, forcing him to swallow what was in his mouth as the idea flourished. "Let's try it!"

"Really!?" "What!?" John and Brian shouted at the same time.

"So what if he's a fourth year? There's no risk besides nothing happening. It'd be cool to let him try. Besides, we'll get some kind of practice by helping him out." Freddie argued, Brian opening his mouth ever so slightly before shutting it.

"Guys that'd be awesome! We could do it in here. No one's in here anyway and we've space so if something actually happens nothing'll break." 

John's sudden energy became more apparent as he scoffed down the rest of his meal, leaving Brian with the most on his plate. Freddie finished up the last bit of the rice he'd taken and laid his plate on the side table that sat between John's seat and their couch.

"Have either of you actually conjured one?" He asked excitedly. "Was it corporeal!? Or just the run-of-the-mill-" He began again.

"Nothing, actually..." Freddie admitted. "Kinda why we keep practicing."

Freddie paused, glancing down for a second. Surely once they got going, Brian wouldn't say no. Before Brian could even try and stop him, he pulled out his wand, making sure Brian was more focused on his meal and whatever it was John was still talking about. He paused, shutting his eyes and trying to hunt through all his memories. Which ones made him the happiest? Or the safest? Most comfortable? So excited that he started crying? His first time with Charlotte, how small she'd been when they first got her but just how happy he had been now that he had a cat of his own...No, couldn't be that. First day at Hogwarts? The majestic sight of the castle looming in the distance, the only light being visible coming from the few lit windows across the stone building, the light of the stars glittering above reflecting upon the black lake. Hadn't he tried it before? Didn't work then...Wouldn't work now.

For some reason, Freddie thought back to his third year. It had been February. A week after the incident. After spending so much time in the infirmary, everyone was asking what had happened. Madame Jones had told the teachers he'd been at home so he told the same story. Someone had claimed they saw him in the infirmary, but he denied it instantly, claiming that he hadn't been there. Technically, he hadn't been. That little room Madame Jones kept him in kept him isolated from anyone who would come in there and for that, he was thankful. He was still bandaged up around his chest and left leg, but everything else had healed relatively quickly and formed those first white lines along his body. He didn't sleep the night before and had been left feeling tired that whole day.

The sun was shining, trees whistled in the cold wind, powdery snow blew off in clouds of glitter until landing on top of the white blanket on the ground. Freddie was sitting by himself outside, watching the other students roam around while he sat beneath the tree, ignoring the fact that most of his outfit was now wet from the snow. Brian was off at lunch, probably grabbing him something to eat.

Within five minutes, Roger and John had arrived. Freddie remembered that fear in an instant, his stomach shrinking in the present. God how he hoped they wouldn't question him too much and thankfully, they didn't. Both walked up to him, obviously concerned and did ask a few questions. Just the simple ones: What happened? Where were you? Are you okay? The usual ones. He'd answered them as vaguely as possible, not wanting to relive the experience again by thinking about what happened.

"Hey, whatever happened, we're here for you." Roger had told him in a hopeful voice. "No matter what."

"Yeah!" A tiny John had said. "No matter what!" Even then Freddie could see that admiration for Roger in his eyes.

It nearly brought tears to his eyes. Brian had said the exact same thing. It wasn't sad, not in the slightest. Now, it just made him feel...safe. How could a memory be sad one moment and happy in the future? Something couldn't make a 180 like that...Could it? It had to...It was happening right now. Freddie was fighting back a smile at the moment and his heart felt like a fire had been lit within. 

Under his breath, he began whispering the words, hoping that Brian wouldn't hear him. He focused all his energy on that memory, trying to not let go of that happiness between his friends for even a second; the words found their way out of his mouth, Freddie letting that smile go as he made the proper wand movement.

And right out of the tip, a flash of glittery blue erupted. John nearly toppled out of his seat, Brian gagging on the last bit of his meal as he watched with wide eyes. Freddie's smile managed to grow wider as he watched it start to change shape, slowly becoming more corporeal. Only when he saw it turn around did he let out a laugh, the large tortoiseshell cat looking down at him with their vibrant blue eyes. They sat in midair, curling their tail around those small paws and watching all of them from above.

Due to his excitement, the memory began to fade, thus making the patronus start to dim until it vanished into multiple blue wisps. John was still looking up at where it had been, looking just as amazed as he felt.

"Freddie! You-how-" Brian began after finally recovering himself, John still speechless.

"Found the right memory I guess..." He admitted, still staring at where the patronus had sat.

"That was awesome!" John exclaimed, shooting up from his seat and balling his fists in excitement. "I've never seen one in person and never knew they looked that pretty and to think it was corporeal! Corporeal! Those are so hard to create for beginners and you did it! I can't believe it! They're so pretty and bright and-" He cut himself off in order to catch his breath only to promptly resume a second later. "-Show me! C'mon, least lemme try! I'm great at defense!" He begged, those wide eyes pleading for agreement.

"Pipe down for a second and we'll help!" Freddie said, John going silent at his command.

"We?" Brian asked. "Fred, there's no point in-"

"No point in not trying either. Besides, it's not like it'd backfire."

Brian gave up on any further dispute, sitting back and watching as Freddie got up from his seat and headed to where John was. Without any instruction, John took his wand out, ready for whatever instruction he had. No matter what, Freddie just couldn't get over that innocence. He couldn't imagine a life without magic in it and yet John had experienced it for most of his life. No wonder he was so eager to learn...Poor kid was basically in a whole new world.

"Now it's like this." Freddie instructed, taking his hand and making the necessary spiral movement. "The incantation itself goes along with it. But what makes these hard to produce at first is learning how to harness the happiness of a memory into it. You might think a memory is happy, but sometimes it isn't strong enough."

"Which one did you use?" John questioned. 

His mouth formed a line as he contemplated whether or not he'd share it. "It was..." John was in that memory, he'd know what he was talking about. But it was personal...He didn't want to admit how sensitive he was at that moment, though anyone with a brain could tell. Freddie gave a deep breath. "It was third year actually. Around February." Brian's curiosity arose on his face. "I was in the courtyard and you and Roger had come up to me, asking if I was alright. I dunno why but...I guess it was just nice knowing others cared." He turned to Brian. "I was so nervous at the moment that we'd be by ourselves during this; no one would care if I had been sick or if they found out what I was. I thought that knowing someone else cared was just...nice." He admitted, the other two lost in a stunned silence.

Freddie looked down at the ground, feeling slightly off at the admission but not regretting it one bit. How could he regret the truth? Besides, it wasn't like it really revealed anything...did it? He shook the thought from his head, looking towards the fire for a moment. Brian's scorched cloak flashed through his mind, making him wonder once again how he got it.

John's muttering broke his focus as he turned towards the little fourth year. His wand was occasionally moving in a spiral and Freddie held the tip quickly. John gave a shocked glance his way.

"You gotta think hard about what you wanna use. Think through every memory you can remember and think of anything that made you happier than you've ever been. Once you think you got it, you can try it."

As expected, John only gave it a few moments of thought. He shot up from his seat, trying his best to put on a brave face, albeit he looked like he was going to be sick with both pairs of eyes on him. He took a deep breath, shutting his eyes for a moment before raising his wand. John exclaimed the incantation, each of them holding their breaths and...

Nothing.

"Why didn't it work?" John asked. "I used the happiest one I could think of."

"What was it?" Freddie asked.

"When I got an extra bit of cash on the ground back home and-"

"John, that's not gonna work. Everyone's happy about a bit of cash. It's gotta be personal and something that makes you feel just...good."

Unfortunately, John's next few tries gave the exact same result. The third time gave a small spark at the end of his wand, but alas, nothing lasted and the next couple ones gave nothing at all. Freddie felt terrible and the look upon John's face was even worse.

"It'll work. It takes a long, long time. You'll get there, give it some time, alright?" Brian finally said after being silent for so long.

Freddie nodded along, John gladly taking it and pulling a weak smile. Even with his success at finally performing one, Freddie couldn't help but share John's dejectedness. Perhaps all he needed was for it to work and knowing him, he wouldn't give up until he got it. Maybe something else was on his mind at the moment. Freddie could only hope at the moment that it wasn't anything to do with what they had discussed earlier. He had looked straight up sad...He was so young. There wasn't any reason for him to have to deal with all this. John needed a success at this point. All he was hoping for now was for Roger's arrival to hopefully pull his spirits up and to bring some kind of light back.

...

As they say, the higher something is, the harder it falls. Roger's return was anything but happy. He'd seen both of them that morning and didn't say anything besides an empty greeting before dragging himself towards his house. John chased after him, surely hoping to try and cheer him up. Freddie too didn't look too happy after seeing Roger and Brian wished that this day could've gotten off to a better start. To think they were so much happier on the way down. Owls flying back, their hoots creating a low melody in the sky outside, sunlight shining from a bright blue sky that barely brought warmth down to the earth. Even the sight of frosted grass and few patches of snow looked so much nicer than the old snow that had been there. If only Roger had his usual brightness...

They didn't see John or Roger until dinner. Thankfully, they both looked much better than that morning. As both he and Freddie made their way to their desired seats, Brian tried to get a glimpse of John and Roger, the latter hovering over the fourth year and chattering away next to the other Hufflepuffs. Just like he expected, Roger soon rushed over to their table, still munching down on a bit of turkey from his table, Freddie's lip pulling up into a sneer as some of the drippings fell onto his cloak.

"So? How was your holiday?" Roger asked. "Must've been busy as all hell since I didn't hear from neither of you."

"Busy's a good word." Freddie admitted.

"Bah I'm just playing with you. I can't blame you two for wanting some...alone time." Roger told them, Freddie elbowing him in his stomach and making his turkey leg fall to the ground. "Hey! I didn't say anything wrong!"

"Unless you want a detailed essay with citations about what we did on holiday, I suggest you stop butting into everyone's business." Brian told him.

"Now now Bri, we don't have to give him that. That's why magazines exist." Freddie said, Roger's face twisting upwards into an ugly sneer.

"No one wants to see that!" He exclaimed. He looked towards the Hufflepuff table. "How was he?" He asked. "Looked a bit off all day today."

Brian could only shrug, deciding to stuff his mouth with bread to avoid saying much else. Roger continued to probe Freddie, who just gave the usual answers that always held the complete truth, even if he was beating around the bushes.

"Explored the castle, hung out in each other's houses-Oh! Christmas was lovely! We got him that scarf he's got on now and Bri got me this adorable scrapbook of Charlotte. Meanwhile I got him a record player."

"A what?"

"It's a box that plays music." Brian explained. "Good lord I could only imagine you with a telephone and God knows what you'd be like in a car."

"A what?" Roger repeated.

"Let's get him one. Be quite a sight to see him tangled in wires!" Freddie added, earning a slap from Roger.

"Piss off! Not my fault Muggles gotta find ways to live without magic."

"John managed just fine and you're the one who doesn't know what a pen is." Brian said, earning a hard glare from Roger.

"Oh! Oh!" Freddie shouted, shaking Roger's shoulder to get the attention back onto him. "Just yesterday I finally got a patronus! Fully rendered one too!"

"Bull." Roger retorted. "That shit takes years to get."

"Honest! Go ask John! He saw it right in front of him! Poor bloke nearly passed out but it happened!"

"Alright. If he says he did I wanna see it. Show me tomorrow during lunch out in the courtyard. I gotta see this." Roger told them.

"You're on. Now get back to your table, I don't need your garlic breath in my face." Freddie said, Roger adding a quick exhale in his face before rushing back.

"Immature prick." Freddie muttered.

"Oh leave him, he's been away from all of us for two weeks. Besides, you're not exactly Mr. Mature either." 

"So?" Freddie asked, taking another bite out of his dinner.

Brian could only laugh at Freddie's response. It was always a nice sight to see him so relaxed: eyes beaming, smile plastered from one side to the other without hiding his teeth, words flowing effortlessly out of his mouth, it was a nice thing to see that it almost made those scars vanish. For him it was these moments that made it feel like everything was okay, that they'd make it in life without anyone to bother them, even if it meant living in the muggle world.

He could imagine it now: living in a flat in London, taking the tube around the city to get from place to place, Freddie keeping with his arts while he dabbled in science. Maybe they'd just live comfortably in a flat and work at various miscellaneous jobs to help pay bills. Simplicity at its finest and the thought automatically warmed his heart. Him looking down at Freddie while he continued to ramble on about nonsense only made it seem more real, as if they were at a restaurant right now and were about to head back home.

But this was the present; Brian was well aware of the fact that the future had yet to come and wasn't even guaranteed. And yet, in that moment, he felt as if it were guaranteed. For whatever reason he knew that it'd be alright. Even if they didn't have a plan or their plan didn't perfectly work out, there'd be something there that would make it perfect and for him that was Freddie. He always figured that with one curveball being thrown at them, they could handle basically anything else.

A sudden explosion from the Slytherin table snapped him out of his thoughts, laughter immediately erupting afterwards as a small fire flickered atop a little second year's plate. Multiple other second years were laughing at him, the victim soon joining in while a teacher came down from the staff table and instantly put it out, tugging the little boy out of the room while everyone continued to laugh.

"Why's it always the younger ones who nearly blow their eyebrows off?" Freddie asked. "You did the same thing in second year."

"That wasn't funny. I nearly went bald!" Brian argued.

"Hairless isn't exactly a look I'd suggest for you." Freddie commented. "That one over there might be a good pyrotechnician if he keeps it up."

"You say that about every first or second year that blows themselves up."

"And some of them will become exactly that. Bah, knowing some of them they'll probably end up missing a limb by their sixth year." Freddie continued, tossing the chicken bone back onto the plate in front of him before it was whisked away.

His focus drifted upwards to that magnificent ceiling that was known through the entire wizarding world. Thousands of stars glittered above with only a few odd clouds that slightly blurred their light. Off to the edge of the ceiling sat the fat curve of the moon that was perfectly split in half, like a clock whose hands were directly on the twelve and six. Quite an apt analogy, despite how much he hated being reminded of how their time of relaxation was quickly coming to an end. Every growth of the moon was another hour passing and once midnight hit...Brian refused to continue the thought that he'd mulled over for so long. 

"What're you thinking about?" Freddie asked. "You're barely listening!"

"Huh? Oh eh nothing much just..." Brian started, only to keep his attention on the sky above.

It was then that Freddie did something he would've never expected. He sat up on his knees and looked him right in the eye, those brandy eyes still full of life. He leant in close and in a hushed whisper said-

"We don't have to think about it now. We can enjoy a bit more time before I'm unable to do jack shit. It'll be alright love..."

The power in his words were entirely jarring, especially considering the fact that Freddie's drop in attitude was usually the alert of the moon's approach, not him actively seeing it himself. Perhaps he was serious about not being afraid anymore, it'd be great if he was. There'd been hundreds of...them that lived throughout history with normal lives and there surely wasn't any reason Freddie wouldn't get to.

Brian reached out and pulled the collar of his shirt down ever so slightly, lightly trailing his finger along the thin white scar beneath his jaw. Freddie's body tensed, but he didn't pull away nor did his face grow dark with shame. Relief filled his frame as he pulled Freddie close, wanting nothing more in that moment than to hold him close. Those memories and thoughts began to subside as soon as his arms were wrapped around him and Brian truly felt that things were going to change.

...

"Tell me, what do you guys do when the moon comes-"

"SHHH" Brian hissed at John's volume, quickly looking around the library in hopes that no one heard. Luckily, no one had, even Roger and Freddie, who were a mere meter away, didn't even hear them.

"What? It's just-"

"Will you shut it!?" He barked at John, who was still stunned at his reaction.

John finally got the message and kept quiet. Brian groaned and folded his book up, looking around the library while doing so in hopes of finding a nice, empty spot in order to try and talk about this. But finding an empty spot in this library was about as likely as Dumbledore streaking across the school. With O.W.L.s coming up, fifth years were packed into the library during their breaks and studied as much as possible, Roger included. The poor fifth year looked as if he was about to jump out of the nearest window as Freddie tried to help him with his charms.

"Can't they fail me now?" Roger groaned after another few seconds.

"Roger dear you're doing fine. Look it's like this." Freddie instructed as he pointed to the book.

"C'mon." Brian said as he got up. "No one's outside right now."

"Yes and for good reason! It's bloody freezing out there!" John shot back.

"You wanna talk about it or what?"

John's mouth opened and immediately shut, that curious light returning to his eyes as he got up, not showing any sort of care for his books and rushed over to where he was. Now that was one way to get John to listen and he proved him right once again. 

Once outside, his theory was also proven right. Not a soul was outside and, like John had said, for a good reason. A dragon would've found this cold and there they were with a coat and gloves on to help protect them against the cold. Half of John's face was now buried beneath his scarf while Brian tried his best to keep his nose from freezing off as they walked over to one of the many trees within the courtyard. They sat down, the frozen ground seeping right through his outfit and made it a degree colder.

"Alright." John started while Brian pulled out his wand, lighting a small fire in front of them, the feeble flame doing basically nothing. "What do you do with the moon?"

"Why're you asking?"

"Because I care about astronomy. Look Bri, I said I wanted to help and it's roughly a week and a half away. Surely I've the right to know!"

Why did it have to feel so weird? Almost like it was betraying Freddie, even more so without him there to talk with John himself. Would it be easier if he was there with him? Probably not. Nevertheless, he felt like this situation at hand would've been better with him there. John continued sitting there, awaiting any kind of answer from him, even a response would've sufficed at this point.

He shifted in his spot and stared up at the sky, pretending that John wasn't there for a few seconds. "It's not hard...Just bring him to that room we have and put enough protective spells around it so no one can hear, see, or get to him. No one even knows that room exists. It's ludicrous to think they'd somehow find it..." Was he even talking to John anymore? "They can't and no one has. After that you just get him and that's that."

"So you just leave him there? You've never stayed there to help him?"

John's voice startled him as he looked away from the grey sky. "I couldn't..." He told him. "It's not safe to do so."

"What if you did?" He asked. "Maybe it'd comfort him or something to know you're there with him."

"And if he hurt me?"

"Well...stay behind something that the werewolf couldn't break through." The word still unnerved him. "It's not hard to do something if you can already conjure all that up."

"No. No, no it's not a good thing to do. Trust me, I've heard enough from Fred to know not to be near that thing. God you should know anyway, you're the one whose read about these things."

"Yeah and I know that it's gotta get lonely in there for Fred when he's sitting there waiting for God knows how long. Brian if you're scared-" John started.

"I'm not bloody scared." Brian spat in an unnaturally venomous voice. "I'm not gonna get hurt. We've been doing this for years now and no one's gotten hurt." He sighed deeply, trying to regain his composure before John ran off again. "Look, when the day comes, just come up to the tower and wait for us. Be there early, like four or something. Winter forces us to go out there earlier anyway." 

"Must be a pain to deal with." John commented.

"A complete bitch." He replied. "Easier than summer since everyone's around then."

For some reason, and to Brian's joy, John went quiet. Neither were prompted to start the conversation up with any small talk nor a continuation of the previous one. At the moment, though, he could only contemplate what could've been going through John's young mind at the moment. He gave off the impression that he was relaxed, almost nonchalant, with the task ahead of them meanwhile he was still petrified of what laid ahead. He'll get it once the day comes. Perhaps then he'll get just how serious this is. God he acts like we're harboring a dragon in that room and it's all for fun. His stomach grew sick with anger. Yeah, he knew it was him being naïve and all but did he really think this was going to be fun? Adventurous? Exhilarating? How dull does one's life have to be that they'd find hiding a beast like that in the school fun?

John's life was; his life was always like that. Muggle parents, muggle world, and parents who refused to let him interact with magic when they discovered this from Dumbledore. Maybe he did just think this was like hiding a dragon-he would too if he had grown up like that. As little as he knew about John's home life, he could only imagine how much of a difference this way. No wonder he wanted to experience this. It probably was one of the most exciting things in his entire life, no matter how dangerous it was. Who would've thought John, the shy kid of their group, was the one who wanted to do this the most?

"Hey, listen, how 'bout we talk about this later? Maybe with Fred around? He could tell you a bit more if you wanna know."

"Yeah!" John exclaimed, those grey eyes of his brightening at the mere mention of it. "I can't wait for it-I don't mean it like that-" He got out. "I don't want him to go through this but I mean...I can be helpful when that happens instead of just lounging around."

"Ya know John, you've done a lot. You make this seem almost normal..." He gave a weak laugh. "You should've been the one to find this the least normal and yet you talk about it like...like it's owning a dog or something."

"I just don't want you guys to feel like this is something worth isolating yourselves over. Others deal with it and you don't need anyone telling you how 'hard' or 'different' it is." John explained.

"Still...thanks. It does mean a lot." Brian said. "It helps."

...

Should he do this? Probably not...It still felt wrong to make this seem normal; it wasn't normal anyway; no one else would ever see it like that, even themselves. John might think of it as normal, but he just couldn't. His positivity helped, but when the time came for them to finally talk about it as a group, it suddenly vanished. God he hoped Freddie would be alright. A relapse at this point would be one of the worst times to experience one, then again he never wanted him to experience them.

John still found this normal. This still just seemed so out of place to him: John just walking along the corridor like they were heading off to class when instead they were going to hide in the prefects' bathroom and discuss where to hide a monster for an entire night. Why were they planning it so early? Why did they even bother with planning anyway? They'd done it for so long that this felt easy despite the never-ending paranoia. 

Unlike earlier, Freddie wasn't looking as happy as earlier. He despised how normal this all felt, especially that dread upon his face. No one said anything until they were inside of the bathroom, Brian desperately hoping no one would walk in on them, though someone almost always did. He and Freddie walked towards the massive, empty pool while John stared slack-jawed at the décor around him.

"You guys get this and we get bathrooms older than Dumbledore." John commented as he looked down at the bath, trailing his hands along some of the many golden taps.

"Believe me, this thing looks so much nicer once there's water in it. Each tap's got different things in it." Freddie explained.

"Each?"

Both nodded while John finally took a seat next to them. Before either could really say anything, John was already whipping out books that he had stored inside of his bag, many of which Brian, unfortunately, recognized. Surprisingly, Freddie didn't seem disturbed by them. He just leaned over and looked while John scoured through one of the smaller books until landing on what he figured was his desired page.

"Now I would think you guys know about this stuff but maybe putting it into practice might help."

Neither said anything.

"Werewolves won't hunt anything but humans. So, maybe we could put something with a human scent around the area and let it attack that instead."

"Won't work." Freddie finally said.

"What? You've tried it?"

"No. Just, trust me, it won't work." He continued, John holding up his silence so that Freddie might continue. "I don't know how to explain it...It's like it knows but it doesn't know what's going on."

"Well, we can try putting multiple levels in the room so it could run around instead of attacking itself." John tried.

"It just wants a window. It knows there's people out there."

"Well come on guys! You gotta try something different! Both of you don't enjoy having Fred beaten to death every month by that thing so why not try anything else?" John suggested.

"Because if something works, why change it? He's fine within a day." Brian finally said.

"Yeah and if he could go a whole night without being hurt, isn't that better?"

"Look." Freddie finally said in a much stronger voice. "It works. Neither of us like it but I'll take this over roaming around outside." 

"Fred." John started. "You know the most out of the three of us about what that thing thinks like. Surely it wants freedom and something other than an enclosed room."

"It just wants to attack, that's all that thing cares about." Brian interjected, not allowing Freddie to say anything this time around. "That thing doesn't want anything else and it stops at nothing to get what it wants. This is the safest way and we're not changing it."

"You don't even know what goes on in there. How can you be so sure about that?"

"Because I've seen one right in front of me and so has Freddie."

"So? That's not bloody helpful if-"

A door opened, the air around them freezing as they all held their tongues. A random Gryffindor walked in, the light shining off her prefect badge as she walked over to the bathroom, completely ignoring the three of them. Brian swung his legs around, kicking mindlessly at the air while Freddie tried to seem interested in the scenery around them. John just spun his thumbs around and stared at his clasped hands.

After what felt like a decade, she left, Brian wishing that John would just drop the notion of trying anything different. Lord knows that he wanted there to be something they could try, but there just wasn't. They'd done this for months and it worked every time: no blips, no sightings, and no one getting hurt, that's all that they both cared about. He wished he knew why John was so fervent on changing this thing when it so obviously was working. He just needs to go through it once. Maybe then he'll get it.

"Fine. Fine then. We'll do it your way this time." John agreed, though begrudgingly. "What time do you leave then?"

"Well, it's winter, so we gotta leave earlier. Maybe around four or four-thirty would be good, least then we can try and gauge how long we've got before anything might happen. We don't have to worry about the dinner rush for now and I doubt Roger'll bother us with anything." Brian explained. "It sounds fairly simple. I'll just go up the next morning and that's that." 

John didn't seem to pay much attention to what he had said; Freddie didn't care either. He'd heard it enough times from him and John just plain old didn't care, though why, he didn't know. How the hell could he be so interested in this and then suddenly act like they were talking about various shades of the color grey? It was annoying and Brian was getting quite sick of having to deal with that flux in his feelings towards this whole thing. It'd be a lot easier if he knew and would've kept his nose out of the whole ordeal and yet, of course, he decided to get involved and throw everything out of order. Suggesting to change this thing, how absolutely brilliant. Next, they should let it run around outside and play fetch with it! How fun would that be?!

Brian took in a deep breath, not wanting to let any of his current thoughts contort his face into any expression that would've revealed what he was thinking. John didn't say anything and when two minutes had passed just got up, leaving without another word.

"Don't be mad at him." Freddie told him. "He wants to try something different and that's alright."

"Oh come on Fred! He's treating this like we're hiding a puppy in that room! Not a fucking beast that could kill this whole school in a night if we gave it the chance! You've any idea of-"

"Brian. He's only fourteen and doesn't know any better. Believe me, I really don't like the idea of having to change anything and we won't. He just wants to try but that doesn't mean we have to shoot down every single idea he's got."

"It's just..."

"Come on love, I know what you're gonna say. He's concerned like you and he's trying to understand. Please give him time. We don't know much about it either besides to keep it hidden. That's it. We're on the same level as him and I want to learn more. Maybe he has a good idea of how to protect me and everyone else so that the moon could be easier." 

"Same level? Freddie he's a blasted fourth year whose experience is the same as just as everyone else's in this school! He couldn't possibly know more!"

"You are so bloody stubborn!" Freddie growled, shooting up from his spot, his mood doing a complete one-eighty. "You think you know bloody everything and how exactly we should do it. Just because it works means we shouldn't change it and guess what-routine just makes it easier for someone to figure out what's going on."

"It's also what's kept us safe for so many months!"

"Us? Us? How much could this possibly affect you? You don't even know what happens 'cause you don't have the stomach. You're like everyone else who can't stand the thought of what I am and have to go through." He swung his bag around his shoulder and turned around. Freddie began marching out, pausing by the door for a second while Brian desperately fought for a retort.

"You know...I was really hoping that this would never get in the way." Freddie finally said, not turning back as he slammed the door shut behind him.

"He thinks this doesn't affect me does he?!" He shouted to no one as he threw his bag, multiple papers scattering about the base of the tub. He kicked at one of the taps, hissing out of pain and gripping his now aching foot.

"Selfish fucking brat. God he's acting like a complete child!" He muttered under his breath as he rubbed his sore foot. "I'm constantly putting myself on the line to keep him safe and he's got the audacity to think this doesn't affect me." He cut his muttering off, reducing it down to an incoherent mumbling as he looked down at the tub where his belongings were scattered. All I've ever done for him is try and keep him safe and this is what I get? Go off with John then! See what happens if I'm not around you ungrateful brat!