Icicles clung to the trees of the Forbidden Forest, snow glittering off of their branches as the wind blew the top layer off of them into a cloud of sparkling white dust. First years were out marveling at the new sight of the grounds being covered in snow while the other, older years merely walked across it, already used to seeing it after being here at least once before. The sky was a bright grey, not an ounce of sunlight making its way through the clouds, owls trying their best to make it back inside before the incoming storm out in the distance would ruin their flight.

Lunch was coming to a close, Brian making sure to grab a small bowl of soup from the table to bring back up to Freddie while he sat in their dormitory getting ahead on his work for potions. Roger was going off about what he was going to do with his family when he headed back, Brian throwing in the occasional reply to make sure he knew he was indeed listening while John was busy scoffing down his lunch, barely giving himself time to breathe, let alone reply to anything they were saying.

"We were planning on skiing or going to a warmer area, but my parents want to spend it at home this year and I think it'd be a nice change." Roger admitted. "You and Fred staying back again?"

"Well, we kinda have to. There's so much work to be done for our tests at the end of the year and we just can't risk it."

"Oh come off it, it's just a quick break for a bit! You two spend so much bloody time locked up in your room. Hell, Fred's not even down here for lunch!"

Brian gave a nervous laugh. "W-well it's just he wants to catch up on his potions work, that's all. Besides, he's been feeling sick to his stomach anyway so being around all this probably won't help all too much."

"He did look quite ill yesterday." John commented as he paused devouring his third bread roll and wiped away the line of soup that was about to fall onto the table.

"Good lord last time I saw him he looked like a ghost. Food might do him some good if you get him some. Bring him down here later, I can give him some candies I got stored up in my room from Hogsmede last month before we have to leave."

He merely nodded, not wanting to upset their friend over not being able to show up later. At least this time Roger wasn't pressing all too much for more information on why Freddie was locked up in their room again. While it was true he was getting ahead on work, he was also spending minutes at a time staring at the ground with his arms wrapped around his stomach and body hunched over the work table, at least that's how he had seen him when he left.

"I should get this up to him so he doesn't starve. I'll see you two later on." Brian said as he got up from the table.

"Tell Fred I said to feel better, just in case I don't see him later on." Roger told him gently, concern for their friend darkening his blue gaze, John giving a shake of his head as he returned to his meal.

Brian agreed quickly, heading out of the dining hall at a quickened pace while also trying to keep the soup he had grabbed in the bowl. It was fairly easy now that the halls weren't busy. So many students were outside enjoying the snow, regardless of their age. As he was heading up the stairs, he managed to only see half a dozen students from all of the houses combined, all primarily from the younger years, rushing down the stairs to what he presumed was the courtyard. 

By the time he had made it up the stairs to the North Tower, the soup had started to cool. He cursed under his breath and stood by the door, awaiting the eagle's riddle. The metallic bird sprang to life, coolly looking at him with its lifeless stare. It gave him the riddle, Brian shooting back the answer as quick as possible and dashed inside the doorway once it swung open.

"Fred? You still in here?" He asked as he opened the door to their room.

A painful lump grew in his throat, the bowl threatening to come crashing down onto the dark carpet as he stared miserably at his partner. His hand was slowly moving across the piece of parchment, barely a single patch of color to be seen anywhere on his visible body. The glow in his eyes had completely retracted, turning them into empty shadows. All the scars he could see were sticking out even more so than before, making him look even more sickly than usual.

He stopped writing, adding an empty stare his way. Freddie didn't even seem to register that he was there, he just looked back at his work after a mere second of looking at him. Brian sighed and headed over, placing the bowl down onto the table and quickly heating it up with the flick of his wand. Wisps of steam rose from the bowl, curling into little spirals before vanishing into thin air. Freddie looked forlornly at the bowl, adding a pleading glance his way before shaking his head, not even bothering to say a single argument.

"Please?" Brian asked as he pushed it towards him. "You need to eat something. Even just half this is better."

A wave of shudders passed through Freddie's thin frame as he shook his head, turning his attention back to the work in front of him. He reached out for his quill, Brian reaching out and gently grabbing his wrist.

"Just a few spoonfuls. You haven't eaten since yesterday morning and that was just a single waffle from downstairs. You need to have some energy Fred. Especially for tomorrow."

Panic lit up his eyes for a mere second before dulling back down to an empty abyss once again. Brian pushed away the bowl, leaning in and resting his hands on his partner's lap. He wanted to ask the usual questions. "What's wrong?" "Do you wanna talk about it?" All the usual stuff. Yet he knew all he would get was a bitter silence and that would get him absolutely nowhere.

"I'll let you work then. The soup'll be there if you wanna eat later." He told him.

Freddie only nodded, paying him little attention as he headed towards his bed, taking out the little letter he had received from his family from his owl earlier that day. He opened it up, laying the string on his blanket. His mother's elegant script was scrawled out in her signature emerald ink, his father's own little note at the bottom being written in his expected blue.

Brian dear, I hope you get your studying done. It's a shame you have to miss out on Christmas again but I know how much you care about your studies. We're both proud of you for doing so well there and you look like you'll become quite the wizard when you graduate. I'll make sure to send you a gift basket your way and it should arrive around Christmas. Say hi to Freddie for me.

Take care

Brian please take care of yourself. Too much work isn't good for a person either. I know you're a perfectionist, but you must learn to stop doing that every now and then. Enjoy the gift I got for you.

Mum & Dad

He took out the little golden pin. It was just a small penguin with a scarf tied around its neck, its little eyes looking around while happily squawking in his hand. He gave a soft smile, laying it against his desk, hearing it go silent as soon as it touched the wood. God what he wouldn't give for this bloody moon to have come just a few days earlier. It would give Freddie enough time to recover and pack for going home with him and he wouldn't have to spend another holiday away. They both wanted to be back home instead of cooped up inside the schoolgrounds during the winter with hardly any other students around and being forced to make small talk with the teachers if they passed them in the halls. Every time they had to go and lie about why they weren't coming home led to another jab at his conscious. He despised having to lie to his family and friends about why he wasn't able to go home that year, always centering it around school so that they had little to argue about. All Brian really hoped for was that the moon would just come earlier next year so that they wouldn't miss out on the festivities at home once more.

Hastily, he grabbed his astronomy book, pleading with any deity that the moon would land a good time before Easter so that they could actually go home for once. He scanned through the days, soon coming across the full moon right near the end of March, Easter landing a good week after. Relief crashed over him, his loud sigh catching Freddie's attention as he looked at him with a curious glance.

"Good news! We can go home when it's Easter holiday!" He exclaimed out of pure joy, expecting a similar reaction from Freddie.

Yet he got nothing. Not even a shrug of acceptance or acknowledgment. Brian's face fell. He slowly put the book away, looking back towards the still full bowl of soup that sat untouched at the corner of the table. He looked away dejectedly, giving up on trying to pick up Freddie's spirits. 

"I'm gonna head down to the library if you wanna come. Just to get out of the room for a bit." Brian suggested.

Fortunately, and unexpectedly, Freddie did nod. He folded up his book, leaving his work as a bookmark among the pages. He tried pushing himself up, his arms shaking as he reached out for the table, giving a rather loud grunt as he managed to put himself in a steady standing position. Failure and hatred spread across Freddie's face before he managed to hold back as much as he could, putting on that blank expression again.

"C'mon, I bet Rog and John'll want to say goodbye before they vanish to pack up last minute tomorrow." Brian said in a playful tone.

Despite Freddie's best efforts, he couldn't help but see a small smirk creep up onto his face before he latched himself to his side. He led the way for the both of them, only pausing to make sure he wasn't walking too fast for his weakened boyfriend. Freddie would never say anything to him if he was. He wouldn't say anything in general regarding his condition when it was so close to acting up on him, let alone say something that would, in his eyes, put a damper on himself.

He helped him down the stairs, holding his hand as tight as he felt comfortable doing. Freddie looked as though he both relished in holding his hand and despised having to be helped as though he was a toddler learning how to navigate them.

"It's alright, you can sit down again when we get to the library." He told him gently. A sudden idea popped into his mind. "Wait hold on."

Before Freddie could even look up at him, he hurried back to their room. The bowl was still sitting on the table, Brian quickly grabbing it and heading back down to where Freddie was standing. He gave a hateful look his way.

"I'm only bringing it. You might want to eat it later on." He explained, holding it out to him. Freddie then gave another begging look his way, Brian continuing to hold it out in front of him. "I'm not saying you have to eat it. Just to hold onto it."

His boyfriend finally took it. He held it with both hands, Brian stepping up and leading him down the stairs by holding his arms to keep him balanced. As they reached the bottom, Freddie shook him off, shrugging and nodding afterwards to tell him he was fine for the time being. Brian accepted it, holding his hands back and taking the lead once more.

During the short trip to the library, Freddie had barely made any noise. Even his footsteps were quiet on the hard floor. Once they had reached it, Brian turned around to make sure he was still behind him, seeing him now clutching the empty bowl of soup in his hands, a small dribble of broth clinging to the corner of his mouth. A small smile spread across his face as he took the bowl from his partner, whisking away the remaining liquid in it with his wand and sticking it in his pocket. A tad bit of color had returned to Freddie's face. Although he figured it came from the heat of the soup, it was nice to see something besides that gaunt expression etched into his face.

...

Daylight made its way through the windows of their dormitory. Brian groaned as the light hit his eyes, instinctively grabbing the pillow near him to cover his face. Unfortunately, the chirping of birds and the shuffling of his roommates' feet across the floor kept him up. He growled out of annoyance, wishing desperately that they would all just go back to sleep so he could enjoy a few more moments of shut-eye before having to get up for the day and deal with the classes that would bog them all down.

Eventually he gave up, finding no reason to keep sleeping if all he was going to endure was noise from around him. He shot a deathly glare their way as they both looked directly at him.

"Sorry 'bout that." Conner told him in a small voice, even though he could still see a smirk on his face. "We're trying not to wake you."

"Bloody wonderful job at doing it." 

Both of them snickered and returned to packing for their trip home. At least that much Brian had to look forward to. A whole week without the siblings that deserved to be in Gryffindor instead of Ravenclaw. It'd be lovely and he could get some much-needed peace.

He rubbed the remaining sleep out of his eyes, sitting up and glancing over to Freddie's bunk, his heart nearly stopping as he saw it completely devoid of anyone.

"D-did you guys see where Freddie went?" He asked, trying his best to keep his nervousness out of his voice.

"Nah, it's been empty for the past ten minutes. To be honest...I don't think I've seen him since we got up."

Brian immediately glanced over at his side table, seeing his wand still laying against the side of his bed. Not again. He thought out of despair as he rushed out of the room, ignoring the confused stares of their roommates.

Now he was thankful that everyone was busy packing, it left most of the school empty for him to get through to where he knew Freddie had hurried off to. He had a mere hour before classes started and he couldn't leave Freddie alone in there without him to comfort him for at least a few minutes.

He headed into the fifth-floor corridor, heading towards the fourth door near the bewildered statue. As fast as he could, he gave the password, watching as it opened up to reveal the prefect's bathroom. Just like he figured, it was almost completely empty. The only sounds being someone's hasty and heavy breathing mixing with the occasional whimper of fear.

"Freddie?" He called out, unfortunately recognizing that sound after hearing it many times.

All the sounds continued, but he did manage to hear someone move around off to the other side of the room. He slowed his movements, not wanting to frighten Freddie with him seeming so worried. He rounded the corner, seeing him pushed up next to one of the lavish sinks and trying to make himself seem as small as possible. His whole frame was trembling violently, his eyes red from crying and still desperately holding onto the side of the sink to try and stabilize himself.

"Freddie, it's alright, I'm here." He said in his best calm tone he could find.

He remained quiet, completely paralyzed by fear and unable to even open his mouth to try and respond. Freddie continued to look around him for something to grab onto besides the sink or himself, his breathing only quickening at his inability to do so. Brian reached out, laying his hand on his partner's leg, wincing at the tenseness in his trembling frame.

"What happened? Did you dream about something?"

Freddie shook his head.

"Flashback?"

He got the same response.

"Did someone mention it?"

Tears streamed from his eyes again as he gave another shake of his head, his hand releasing its brutal grip on the sink and trying desperately to grab something else. His body jerked again, his pupils shrinking with fear as he continued shaking in his spot. Brian knelt back. Panic completely disabled his lover, keeping him immensely still besides the occasional twitch of his leg or arm and his abnormal breathing. It was killing him to have to watch it again and how he still barely knew how to help. He tried reaching out again, only to have Freddie pull away once more.

"It's okay, it's okay." He repeated, hoping desperately that he'd get a better response again. Yet all he did receive was a mere shake of his head and his breathing quickening.

"Is it about tonight?" He asked, earning a frightened stare from his boyfriend, but fortunately receiving a nod of approval.

All his words got caught in his throat. It was almost always that response. The absolute hardest ones for him and Freddie to actually work through. What separated these from the rest was that his panicked thoughts were going to be real. Dreams he could remind him weren't actually going to happen, flashbacks were the past and couldn't possibly be recreated, and someone mentioning those creatures never truly meant they were talking about him.

"Freddie, stay in the present. The future is coming, yes, but focus on right now." He tried, seeing worry and disappointment fill his eyes. "Tonight is going to be hard, I know it will, but it'll be over soon and then you don't have to deal with it for a month. Think about what is happening right now. Spending time with Roger and John before they head out, practicing your patronus, even just screwing around with us singing upstairs!" 

Nothing was breaking through. Whatever it was that Freddie had storming around in his mind wasn't going to be broken at the moment with a few kind words. At least if he was allowed to speak, maybe then he could actually help more than just seeing him nod or shake his head at what it was he told him. He futilely tried again, suggesting more pleasant activities they could do during the day before he had to bring him up to that room. Yet he got the same shake of his head each time he finished letting a sentence out.

"Do you at least want to come back to the room?" He asked. "Least up there you're not on a bathroom floor."

This time around, he was thankful to see him nod in response. He held out his hand, tightly gripping it and helping him up from his spot on the floor. His hand continued to shake in his hand, his tense body barely allowing him to walk properly. Each step seemed to take every ounce of effort he had within him and keeping his balance was only more of an issue.

"It's okay." He repeated as they neared the exit. "Look at me, please?"

Pain and despair covered his glassy gaze as he tried to focus on his face, only just able to do so. His eyes were looking right at him, yet they were far too busy to actually be looking at him, every thought being shown as some line of worry inside of his irises. He laid his hands on his shoulders, his own stare starting to aim away from his face as to not see those heartwrenching emotions etched into his expression.

"No one's going to find out. Tonight is going to hurt, but we have the rest of the holiday to look forward to afterwards. Christmas is coming up and we get to spend it together then. Just remember that, okay?"

"O-okay..." Freddie's stiff voice said.

It always pained him to hear how hard it was for him to speak. But this time he was happier to hear his voice again, even if it was in that rough of shape. Brian laid a gentle kiss on his forehead, feeling another set of violent shivers pass through his body.

"C'mon, let's go back up to the room."

He allowed Freddie to cling to his arm, feeling him bury his face into his arm as they headed out. Every step he took he felt his body wobble and shake even more so. Occasionally he felt spots of water grow on his shirt, Freddie trying his best to silence his sobs yet still being too weak to even muffle them. By the time they had reached the stairs, Brian had to practically carry him up them, gladly doing so as to not risk him losing his balance.

Books were littered across the floor. Clothes were laying across their roommates' beds in an unorderly fashion and their own babbling between the two of them wasn't helping his boyfriend calm down. With a mere half-hour until class began, Brian was desperately hoping that they would either leave or shut the hell up.

"Conner get your bloody trousers off my bed!" Charlie barked as he tossed them onto the ground.

"Oh leave it!" He shouted in response.

"Can you two shut it before I knock you over the head?" Brian growled, earning a thankful stare from Freddie.

"Oh what? Bitter 'cause you're not going home?" Conner tried, Brian gladly throwing a nearby book at his head, only barely missing his face.

"Shove off will ya?" Brian snapped, turning his attention back to his own work for transfiguration. Freddie had laid back on his bed, curling up on top of the blankets, pressing the side of his head into the pillow while using one of his hands to cover his free ear. Brian paused his own work, grabbing the last bit of Freddie's stuff into his bag he had already started to pack for him, making sure to toss in another sweet from last night's dinner just in case he wanted to eat something else.

Focus continued to evade him, his mind completely unable to write down any more than a few words about the effects of transfiguring non-living creatures into living ones. He wanted the other two to leave the damn room already so he could actually get a chance to try and talk to him before they were separated again. Conner and Charlie, on the other hand, still decided to be loud while trying to stuff more of their belongings into the small bag they were bringing with them back home.

One more yell from both of them was all it took to set him off. "Knock it off!" He growled, slamming his book down onto the bed and startling the other three. He held that fiery gaze for the next few seconds, pride filling his chest as they dashed out of the room like a bunch of first years.

Finally. He thought out of relief. The peaceful silence that filled the room was a much-needed change after hearing them badger one another for what felt like ages.

"Freddie?" He asked as he got up, leaving his work on his bed. "You doing any better?"

"Dunno." He replied.

"You want anything to eat before class starts?"

"Dunno."

"Freddie, I know you're worried about tonight but it'll be just fine."

He shook his head again, Brian seeing another tremble make its way through his thin frame. "It hurts."

"I'll be there in the morning to help-"

"Not that..." He paused, his mouth screwing up as though he had poison across his tongue. "Changing..."

"It's not meant to be soothing." He tried, earning a fierce glare from Freddie's weak eyes.

"I know."

A loud bell rang off through the grounds, Freddie's face falling even more as he struggled to pick himself up. Brian reached out, Freddie thankfully taking his hand and adding an apologetic look his way before actually saying a weak "I'm sorry."

"It's alright." He repeated. "You're tired, I'm not going to blame you."

Freddie looked as though he wanted to continue with the conversation, but he remained silent. He bent down and grabbed his back, his upper body struggling under the weight on his shoulder. Before Freddie could leave, Brian reached over to the side of his bed, snatching one last sweet from his mother's care package and held it out to Freddie.

"Brian don't." He said bluntly.

There wasn't even a second for him to argue that he should take it, Freddie marched out of the room, slamming the door behind him and leaving him alone in that bitter silence.

...

Nausea swept over him once more as he grabbed both sides of the toilet and vomited once more into the white basin. Freddie pulled away, gripping his stomach and wincing in pain as his stomach continued to spasm inside of him. He dragged his hand across his mouth, wiping the remnants onto the floor as he leaned against the sides of the stall.

This is why you don't force yourself to eat you idiot. He berated as he cursed himself once more for eating the small piece of dessert Brian had left in his bag. It felt as though he had eaten the entire feast at dinner and the already present nerves about tonight wasn't helping him out any more. 

Minutes continued ticking by, his own anxiety about what his teacher must think he is doing only making his anxiety worsen. That earlier panic hadn't gone away yet, his body occasionally getting ready to shake uncontrollably but reduced it to a mere shudder. It was all terrible. Having to waste the last few hours he had before he was thrown into hell feeling like he was dying and then dealing with acting like a complete prat towards his friends who only did want the best for him, two of them not even being able to know what the hell was wrong.

He shakily got up, pausing just in case anything else was going to come up. After flushing everything down the drain, he headed over to the row of mirrors and sinks that sat along the bathroom wall. Despite knowing it wouldn't help, he downed a few handfuls of tap water to rinse out the wretched stench from his mouth. He splashed a bit of cold water on his face, blinking it out of his eyes and looking straight at himself in the mirror. Everything he saw repulsed him, the urge to break the mirror arising but falling back down.

Freddie rubbed his stomach again, feeling those prominent scars through his clothing. He looked around, hesitantly pulling up his shirt and glaring at the many lines that were scratched into his skin. All those bite and scratch scars seemed to pulse at once, making him dread having to see even more the next morning when he gained control of himself again.

All but too late did he hear the footsteps echo off the walls of the room, fear shooting through him as he turned towards the noise, tugging down his shirt and staring with wide eyes at the little fourth year who was equally staring at him with shock in his grey gaze.

"S-sorry Fred, I d-didn't think someone was in here!" John stuttered as he backed up with his hands out to defend himself.

Freddie didn't give himself time to think. He acted on pure instinct. He looked around frantically, ignoring everything John had said to him and rushed out of the room as fast as he could. Through all the panic, he couldn't care less about where he ended up or if he ended up back in class. Had he seen anything? Surely his first thought wasn't going to be that he was cursed with that loathsome disease. Maybe he was just going to assume he had been in a bad accident or that he was attacked by one of his cats when he was younger. God he can't-He just can't have...Or could think...His stomach tightened inside of him, fear's violent grip around his insides as the weight on his chest grew heavier, making it even harder for him to keep up his pace.

You can't tell Brian. His mind told him suddenly as he stopped at the end of the current corridor. That's the last thing he needs on his mind. John couldn't possibly think that's what you are. What if he asks tomorrow? His heart pounded furiously against his throat as he felt he was going to be sick again. Oh God what if he tells Roger o-or...Oh God why on earth did you think that was a good idea?

"Mr. Bulsara? Just what are you doing out of class?"

He froze, straightening himself up and trying to catch his breath, desperately clinging to the wall behind him just to stable himself and not fall over. Professor Jenk was making his way over to him, those vibrantly green eyes almost staring straight through his soul.

"J-just using the restroom s-sir. Wasn't feeling too good." He uttered quickly.

Thankfully, his gaze softened as he merely nodded in response. He crossed his arms across his chest and motioned back down the hall. "I suggest you get back before the period is over."

"R-right you are sir." He said, turning around and trying not to walk too fast or too slow.

John's not going to even think about that dammit. He repeated to himself once more. E-everyone's got scars and he didn't see the bite. What if he asks? Or what if he's seen those types before? Upon opening the door to his class, he earned the stares of every Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw in there, McGonagall's own cold stare hitting him just like Jenk's had done.

"You were gone an awfully long time Mr. Bulsara." She commented in a cool voice, crossing her arms over her chest.

"S-sorry ma'am. My stomach was feeling off." He explained quickly, feeling glad that this one wasn't at all a lie.

"I hope you're doing better. Now sit down, you've got to catch up."

Freddie did as he was told taking his seat near the front of the class and folding his hands over his notes as he studied them instead of what was on the board. There was no point in him paying attention now. Both of them knew that he was well ahead of this stuff and that she was merely doing so not to show any hint of favoritism in front of the other students, although he doubted she even would in private.

His stomach lurched again at the thought of where he would be in a few hours' time. Locked up in that room like some animal just so that no one would get hurt because of his damn mistake. That part wasn't even the worst. Experiencing it all was what was so terrifying. He despised it with every ounce of his being and yet, what was there for him to do besides hope the inevitable just wouldn't happen again. 

With the bell sounding, Freddie jumped up and trudged out of the room, almost all his energy gone from him running away from John earlier. He sank against the wall, cursing all the other students for being so loud for no reason other than they wanted to. I don't want to. He said defiantly, as though that was going to cure him and get rid of this pallor and sickness he was going through.

Nothing happened, it never did. Why would he even think that it would? He begrudgingly got up and headed towards the courtyard, not wanting to be around any sort of food at lunch after what had just happened from a mere sweet.

"Freddie! Hey!"

He froze at the call of his name, turning around and seeing John rush towards him. Don't run, don't run. He'll think something's wrong then. His legs tensed as the smaller fourth year looked up at him with worry in his eyes. He didn't say anything at first, instead just studying him for a few seconds as he caught his breath.

"I-I just wanted to apologize for sneaking up on you like that. You okay though? You ran out of there pretty quickly."

"Uhm...Y-yeah just...Just heading outside."

"It's lunch though, aren't you hungry?"

"Not really..." He admitted, hoping he would take the basic answer and drop this whole conversation.

"Maybe you should eat something, you look like a ghost."

"N-no I'm sure. It's a s-stomach thing r-right now." He stuttered, his heart once again starting to race in his chest.

"Well alright then. I hope you'll be well enough tomorrow to see Roger off."

"Aren't you going too?"

John's face fell for a moment, giving a small shrug as he looked away from him and towards the opposing wall. "I was but everyone's just so hectic at home and I just want some peace. Besides, they never really notice me at home. Nor would they take to Roger coming over..."

Freddie already sensed the awkwardness in John's tone, deciding that he shouldn't say much more. Almost every time they brought up John's family, he'd just close off and shut down, even if it was just about classes. Regret arose in his stomach, Freddie putting his arm around John's shoulders and leading him down the hall.

"C'mon, lunch should be ready now."

"I thought you said-"

"Fuck what I said." He told him bluntly, yet still managed a playful tone. "I can at least go down there."

His eyes brightened up at his comment as John followed Freddie down towards the dining hall. Although he was regretting his decision as soon as he entered the room, he had to remind himself just what he was doing; making sure John was happy. It mattered more to him than him getting sick in the middle of the dining hall. They filtered into the crowd of students all clamoring to get inside and eat. Raucous shouts came from every single table, although now hardly anyone was sitting at their designated table. John pointed ahead, Freddie now taking notice of Brian and Roger waving for the two of them to come to their seats near the end of what was meant to be the Gryffindor table.

"Jesus Fred, you look like hell." Roger said as soon as they sat down.

"Hello to you too Rog." 

"Oh I'm only messin' with you! Go on and eat something before you turn into one of these ghosts around here."

"A-actually Freddie and I ate a lot before coming here!" Brian piped up, adding a fretful glance his way as he was eating his own lunch while Freddie had nothing in front of him. "W-we still have some stuff left over from the gift basket my parents sent me and basically ate the rest of it before this."

To keep things rolling, Freddie only nodded in response, Roger accepting the answer and digging into his own soup that sat in front of him. John was remaining silent, slowly eating the sandwich and crackers he had laid out on his plate while Brian reached out for a fresh roll of bread. All the scents were nauseating to him, his attempt to stop smelling them failing and leaving him with them constantly bombarding his nose.

"It'll be nice to get away from school for a bit." Roger admitted. "But really John, why don't you come home for a bit. You can stay at my place!"

"No no..." John said in a small voice. "I-it's fine, really Roger."

"But it's not fun without you there!"

"I just wanna be here for a bit. Besides, they'll probably be working."

"God don't muggles take a bloody holiday?" He barked. "Fuck it, I'll stay here too-"

"Roger, don't. Go on home to your family. I'll be fine here."

Freddie shifted in his seat, feeling even more out of place after listening to their small argument. On the bright side, both of them lightened up after Roger agreed. Both returned to bashing their annoying classes and teasing one another, smiles lighting up both of their faces.

"Why're you two staying back anyway?" Roger finally asked them. "I mean hell it's almost every year!"

"I've told you Roger, we've got N.E.W.Ts coming up and we can't afford much time to relax at home." Brian explained.

"So? I've O.W.Ls this year and you don't see me staying back to study."

"It's just how we do it. Alright? Besides, I might die of shock if you take to studying over watching Quidditch."

"Oh shove off you twat!" Roger exclaimed in an impish voice, leaning forward to land a smack on Brian's left arm. All four of them broke out in laughter. He immediately felt his stomach untie itself just a tad from its tight knot, the instant breath he took feeling much lighter than those prior. He felt Brian's hand on the center of his back, holding onto him to control his laughter before he regained himself again. Out of nowhere he laid a small kiss on his cheek, earning teasing jeers from the other couple about their affection.

"You're one to talk, you'll probably shag in the middle of the dining hall!" Freddie argued, John's face turning darker than the red upon the Gryffindor flag.

"Like you two haven't done so already." Roger replied coolly, crossing his arms and giving that playful smirk their way.

Their conversation took up again, Freddie grinning fully almost the entire time and even managing to take a bite of Brian's second bread roll without feeling sick. Minutes ticked by in a blink of an eye, the lunch along the tables soon vanishing as their break came to a close. The two younger boys got up heading off towards their respected classes, Roger adding in the typical complaint of just how boring it was to sit in his history class while John took to going off on how he'd take that over his magical creatures' class.

Both of them left the dining hall, taking a turn towards their next class that they thankfully shared together. Brian stood at his side, that glow still lighting his face up. Freddie pushed him off to the side of the hallway, grabbing his waist and pulling him close.

"You're lovely..." He told him quietly. "Thanks..."

Neither said anything, only staying there with their arms wrapped around each other while their peers walked passed them. Only when the second bell rang did they separate, the two of them trying to get to their next class as fast as they could. The door slammed shut behind them as they entered, each taking their respected seat and listened to their teacher begin the lesson to a bunch of students who were absorbed in their thoughts about the holiday.

...

Vibrant streams of red and gold shot through their window, creating a stark contrast with the many blues and indigoes that covered their dormitory as the sun began to sink behind the horizon. Every second that passed, his heart sped up. He could almost feel the sun move and vanish while the moon would slowly come into view.

His quill fell to the table, his mind going blank as he gave up on getting ahead in these classes. He knew he was well enough ahead for now that he could miss a whole month, let alone a week. Fear and worry crept through his body, all those usual concerns returning as the time slowly ticked by as he waited for Brian to get back here. You have plenty of time. At least an hour...The thought only made him panic more. Just an hour, that was, at best, all he had left before all hell broke loose for nearly twelve hours. All hairs stood on end, goosebumps forming along his skin. The room continued to grow colder and colder. He brought his knees up to his chest, not a single coherent thought coming through his mind. Everything that did were those lurid images and sensations that would all become a reality once he was locked away.

"C'mon Fred, it's dinner. Do you want anything?" Brian asked as he came in through the doorway.

He shook his head, not wanting to speak. Having to just think of eating anything was making him even sicker as he shakily got up, his body almost resisting his attempts to go with his lover to that safe room.

"Don't worry, everyone's already rushing down there. No one'll bother us this time around."

"I-it's not that. Hell...you know what it is anyway." Freddie muttered, already kicking himself for getting upset over something he couldn't change. Please, just let me black out. Or have it hit its head o-or we got the date wrong and it won't come tonight...But the toxic sickness and weakness that was controlling his whole body contradicted his hopes. The paleness in his skin, dark circles under his eyes, and his unkempt appearance only made him look worse and told him even more that they weren't wrong. No matter what, tonight he was going to go through that brutal change and there wasn't a damn thing he could do to prevent it.

"B-Brian..." He managed, wincing as though someone had struck him. His partner turned around, the sensitivity in his eyes only silencing him as he looked away, unable to face him. I don't wanna! His subconscious whined like a disobedient child. He almost began pleading aloud for something to just stop it for once so he could just live normally for a month and not have to place such a burden upon himself and Brian.

Before they left, he walked over to his bed, kneeling down and pulling out his suitcase. Old ratty clothes sat on top, all oversized and looking absolutely horrid even for those who were homeless. He sighed and grabbed a large sweater from when he was younger and an old pair of jeans. As fast as he could, he tossed everything on,laying his old outfit and cloak atop his bed, soon sliding them under his covers. 

Finally, he gathered up the courage to actually start walking towards Brian. He trailed behind his lover, not wanting him to see if he broke down or even to see that sullen look he knew was on his face. He folded his arms across his chest, heading down the stairs. Every step brought contrasting feelings of relief and terror. If he made it there, he'd be safe. That's what he kept telling himself. But at the same time, he would be missing for a whole night and that always risked questions. The room itself wasn't exactly comforting either due to all the nights he had to spend in there. Locking himself up in there until it happened and all the way to the end only made it all even worse to think about.

They came across the corridor, thankfully finding it empty. Brian was remaining silent, not saying a word as he tried to come up with what the room would look like this time around. Near the end of the hallway sat the wall that the room was hidden behind. Freddie fell against the wall, jerking as he felt it hit his protruding spine. His body began shaking as he glanced towards the giant window at the edge of the hallway, seeing shades of purple and blue already start to mix into the warmer colors of the sky. There weren't any signs of stars yet, meaning they had some time before either really had to worry about not getting in.

Suddenly, a large oak door formed along the wall, Brian opening it and hastily checking around in case anyone was walking towards them. He snuck in, Brian following and closing the door behind him. This time, the hallway towards the second door was lit with bright yellow flames along the walls, making it far easier to see. The second door was a darker shade of brown with no handle on it, a small window being placed on top of it so one could see into the room, Freddie only barely being able to make out an odd glow from the back of the room.

Freddie watched as Brian drew the inscription along the door with his wand, seeing the tip turn a bright yellow as he did so. The image shined for an instant in the same shade of yellow before vanishing into the wood. It creaked open and he slipped inside.

Luckily, the room was far nicer than the previous month's. Nothing reminded him of a prison. No stone walls or a barred door to keep him inside. Instead, the room was lined with a thick carpet with the walls matching the same crimson color. A few pictures hung from the wall to add some more décor to the room while a small fire crackled inside of a fireplace. Windows lined the right side of the room, the light from the setting sun casting across the room and negating the need for the fire.

"I wanted it to be a bit more homey this time around." Brian explained. "The fire's protected by a barrier, but the heat still escapes so you'll be warmer in the morning."

"Thanks."

Brian conjured up a couch, setting it in front of the fire. Freddie ignored it, moving over to the front of the fireplace and staring at the flames as they waved and curled together with one another. The couch behind him creaked as Brian sat down, Freddie only shrinking himself into an even more closed position. Brian had been right, the heat was still radiating with ease from the fireplace, yet even he could see the faint lines of the barrier that was nearly invisible.

Both of them didn't dare speak. Freddie didn't mind, he just wanted to know that Brian was here until he would be forced to leave. He gave a cautious glance towards the windows, his stomach shrinking as he saw even less of the sun behind the horizon. His body tensed as he tried to fight back all the invading thoughts and hunched forward, grabbing the sides of his old sweater.

"I'll make sure to bring down better clothes tomorrow." He told him, laying his hand on his shoulder. Though he knew his words were meant to soothe him, all they did was make his heart race even faster.

"Thanks." He repeated in the same empty voice.

"You'll get through this." Brian said. "I-I want you to remember that."

He turned to look at him, seeing Brian's gaze darken even more as he scanned his face. Freddie only sighed in response, not wanting to talk at the moment. It doesn't matter anyway. It still hurts and it's still terrifying.

"Tomorrow we can send another letter to your family and spend some time outside. That sound good?" He asked in a hopeful tone, Freddie only giving a small shrug in response.

"Remember the first time we had to do this?" Freddie asked, feeling only slightly thankful that those were the memories now resurfacing.

"W-well yes..." Brian admitted as he got off the couch and sat next to him, laying his hand on his lap.

Freddie looked down at the carpet, remembering just how frantic they had been about getting here on time that February. So much time had been put into making sure he'd be kept safe. That room Brian had created had been too nice and filled with miscellaneous junk to resemble a bedroom instead of someplace to keep him contained. Unfortunately, the many items happened to include a mirror pinned up against the wall. A sharp shiver ran down his spine at the memory of seeing his body and face for a split second during his first transformation, only to have shards of glass impaled in his hand a second later.

"Now it's just a bloody routine..." Freddie continued, sighing heavily as he managed to look over at his quiet lover, seeing that lost look darken his eyes even more so as he toyed around with the end of his cloak.

"Get going, please? I don't want you to have to rush out of here. Or see anything..." Freddie asked in a small voice, hoping that Brain would listen and not wait till the last few seconds again.

He felt Brian's lips against his cheek as he wrapped his arms around his small waist, his head resting against his shoulder. Freddie couldn't help but reciprocate that gentle hug, soon tightly gripping his boyfriend's clothes and clinging on tightly. He wanted him to stay here to keep him company while he became the thing that petrified him to his core. To have his head pressed up against his chest and listening to his heart to try and calm himself down even more as the time came closer and closer. For the first thing he would see when he came back into his own body to be Brian's face instead of the disaster that would lay in front of him. But he couldn't risk his safety. Not like it mattered if he was here. He wasn't able to control himself anyway and he wouldn't live with himself if he hurt him in that form.

They sat for a few more seconds in blissful silence, the only thing that separated them being Freddie motioning towards the line of windows and seeing a few faint stars start to come into view. Brian got the message, slowly releasing him from his hold and heading off towards the door. The couch vanished in an instant, Brian tucking his wand away once more.

"I love you." He told him, Freddie's emotions only going even more berserk at the soft sentiment.

"I love you too." He replied, seeing him walk out of the room just out of the corner of his eye. The door closed a moment later, the only sound now being the flames snapping and popping inside of the fireplace and his own shallow breathing.

He ventured a nervous glance towards the windows, still not seeing any sign of the moon. Despite it not being visible, he could've sworn he could feel it moving. As though the higher it rose, the more of his strength ebbed away. It took everything for him to push himself up and move over to the windows, not wanting to delay this anymore than necessary.

During his last few minutes, he looked down at his body, pulling up his shirt once more. Every scar stood out to him, even the still covered one along the side of his leg that always seemed to hurt even with it being completely healed. It sickened him and the thought that even more would be there tomorrow only made him feel worse. He despised having to see those marks etched into his skin as a visible reminder of what he had and how it could really be the only thing that would get people to ask questions if they saw.  

Time ticked by, Freddie's nerves only getting worse and worse until he saw the faintest silver light start to come through the windows. It felt as though it had been a mere minute since he had gotten in here. Now the sky had lost all its warm shades and turned into that black and blue that allowed all the stars to shine. Against his better judgment, he looked down to not see the sky. He could never bring himself to just get it over with. The tiniest morsel always sat there, desperately hoping that it just wouldn't happen. Do it. He told himself, his body refusing to cooperate. It'll only be worse if you don't and you know it. He shuddered violently, not wanting to think of the night ahead. You gotta do it. He inhaled sharply, looking up at the sky and turning ever so slightly to the left. There it was. That accursed orb that lit up the night sky with its glow.

Fire spread through his body as he hunched over, breaking his locked stare with the moon and staring directly at the carpet. His entire body burned as he felt it start to take hold, the beast yanking his head back to look directly up at the moon as to hasten the change. Every muscle in his body tensed as he felt them start to elongate and swell with the monster's added strength while his skin began rapidly darkening to a shade of smoky grey.

His clothes began to tear, Freddie losing control of his arms as he tried his best to rip the fabric off of his body. Stitches rapidly split open, allowing space for the rest of his body to stretch into its new form. The hair along his arms and chest rapidly began thickening. Coarse black fur sprouted out along the areas that held none. He released the hold on his almost completely destroyed shirt, instantly slamming his hands down onto the ground and watching them curl and twist.

Cries and moans of pain escaped from his mouth, tears starting to brim the corners of his eyes. His nails began darkening to black, the tips narrowing and sharpening as his fingertips began to bleed. Each bone in his body ached as it stretched or snapped into its new place. His face began to burn as his mouth was forced open to make room for his growing teeth. Blood dripped off of the tips of his sharpening fangs as they shoved the others around to make room. Streams of his now infected saliva and blood pooled onto the ground, the taste of his own blood only making the beast more excited to finally break free.

He tried desperately to catch his breath, but it was cut off quickly as another stab of pain hit his body while another unnatural change took place. His head and ears began lengthening, the new set of fangs settling into place while the remaining blood dripped off the corner of the beast's muzzle. Another wave of agony stormed through him, sending his head back to the top of his spine. He caught part of himself in the windows. A few measly shreds of his outfit clung around his shoulders, a thin stream of blood still falling out of the side of his mouth as the beast pushed itself onto its hind legs. Barely any brown was left in his eyes. Icy blue was seeping through it and spreading through the white, his pupils now barely the size of a needle point, that animalistic glare already starting to push back his own fear.

An unholy snarl rumbled out of his throat as it raked its nails across the ground, digging all the way through to the stone floor beneath the carpet. Freddie already felt himself being pushed back, forced to watch everything the beast would do while he had no control over what it did.

Everything was throbbing as it all settled into its new form, the creature's savage mind taking hold as it stood up on its hind legs, leaning forward and landing with a powerful thud against the window. He could easily see what he was. Almost a perfect recreation of what had attacked him and nearly killed him. Malevolent blue eyes stared straight back at him, confusion and rage seeping into its gaze as he felt its lust for blood start to arise. His heart would've beat faster and his stomach would've shrank if his feelings would affect his own body anymore. For now, the beast had taken control, its heart hammering with excitement and eager snakes were twisting around inside its stomach, every inch of it yearning to dig its fangs into the flesh of another person.

It lifted its head back, the moon hitting its eyes as another ferocious growl boomed out of its impatient frame. Freddie winced within its body, wishing he could cover his ears as its jaws stretched open and released an earsplitting howl that echoed off the walls around him.

...

Everything ached. Every cut, every bite, every muscle in his tired body. That was all he could feel the instant he began to regain himself. Freddie could've sworn he could still feel certain parts of him shrinking back into their normal state. He forced his eyes open, the bright light burning his eyes as he turned onto his side, his body wincing back as the carpet hit a line of cuts. His body was still unable to move from its current spot, completely petrified by the mere thought that it would happen again.

He managed to back himself up into the corner of the room, moving his hand away from his bleeding arm. Immediately blood poured out of the cut, dribbling down his arm and silently landing on the carpet. The palm of his hand was almost completely red, Freddie only continuing to stare at it instead of wiping it away on the ground beneath him. His other hand made its way over to his leg, tentatively touching the bite mark that always remained untouched every single time this happened.

It was cold. Freezing even. He tried heating himself up by bringing his body as close to him as possible and yet he still felt like ice. An occasional tremble ran through his body as memories continued to flash across his mind from the previous night. Those terrible howls, the vile and savage thoughts of attacking a person, each and every snap of its jaw onto another part of his body or the raking of its dagger-sized claws into his soft flesh to settle its killer instinct to taste any sort of human blood, the total lack of control he had over any of it...

It became time for him to start the final part of this dastardly ritual. He leant back against the wall, staring up at the ceiling and tried his best not to think about anything. The heat of the fire slowly started to reach his body, but it did nothing to heat him up. He stared aimlessly at the room around him, trying to find one thing there that wouldn't bring up any storming memories from the night before. Yet all he got were slashes across the wall and carpet, blood splattered across the entire room and staining the windows while fur latched to almost every surface. He looked away, shutting his eyes and trying to distract himself from it all during the time he awaited Brian to fetch him and complete this terrible night.