"Just a memory, that's it." Brian told him. "A nice, happy one so that it'll work."

"I'm trying. Nothing's coming through."

Freddie groaned, laying his wand down on top of his bedsheets and crossing his arms across his chest. They had been at it for the past few hours, studying how to form an incorporeal patronus so that they would be ahead even more so in their defense class. The last thing either of them needed was to fall behind, seeing as the two of them were often so busy for a few days during the month due to his issue. So, as Brian had suggested back in their third year, they try their best to stay ahead as much as possible to avoid any fallbacks.

He watched as Brian muttered the incantation again, a faint blue light coming through the tip of his wand before it fell dark again. He always figured it was easier for him to do these sort of things anyway. He figured it must come from him having an easier time pulling happier memories to the surface than he did. Apparently, to his dismay, none were strong enough. Jenk had already told them they wouldn't attempt this for quite some time as it was a difficult thing to do, although he had happily displayed his own full-fledged hawk patronus when they had first began discussing dementors.

"You can get more of one than I could." He sighed. "Let's just move on to the other stuff. I know you want to get some more work done for astronomy and I've to finish all that crap for transfiguration."

"Oh I get it now; you don't want a repeat of turning your teeth green again do you?"

Freddie pulled his lip even more so over his teeth, forcing back a smile at the thought of the incident when they had tried changing the color of some body part. "It's not my fault they wouldn't change back. Hell you were stuck with purple nails for a good few hours afterwards."

"And they looked damn good on me too." Brian teased, Freddie giving him a soft shove as he pushed himself back into a seated position. He looked towards the window, seeing a few white clouds strewn across the bright sky, the gentle light of the sun peeking through the few spaces in the cloud it was currently stuck behind. Majority of the grounds were empty seeing as classes weren't in session. The only reason anyone would be outside at this time of day would be heading over to see their owl to coordinate anything with their parents with Christmas being a mere month away. He was considering doing the same since he wasn't sure if he wanted to go back home just yet, or if it was even safe to do so. They were to leave roughly the day prior to Christmas Eve and stay there until the new year came about, giving far too much time for the full moon to come about and putting even more pressure on him and Brian. That wasn't to say it was impossible, they had to do it back during Easter of their third year. Somehow, they had made it work by locking him inside of Brian's shed that sat unused until spring. That worn out, old shack made him long for the room they had here at the castle since all it did was make him remember even more so what would happen if he was left to roam about freely.

Thankfully, his family never argued if he wanted to remain home for the holidays and the same went for Brian's too. It was always the usual, and always truthful, excuse that they had work to do at school and didn't want to fall behind. So their gifts would come to the school and they'd send theirs out. Simple, easy, and effortless; something the two of them hadn't had much of over the past few years.

"Think we should send something home later?" Freddie asked, removing his attention from the empty outside.

"Not sure, why? Has something come up?"

"No, not that I know of hopefully. Mainly 'cause Christmas is around the corner and I wanted my family to know that I'll stay here again due to schoolwork."

"I can check when the moon is-" Brian started, reaching towards his stack of his astronomy books that he had taken out.

"Brian...You know we're not that lucky. The last two years it's always come during the holiday. Even if it somehow comes before we leave, do you think I want to go there a day or two afterwards? I'm sorry but it's just going to be hell, especially if I get another mark on my face or neck that they'll all see."

Brian was still scouring over the book he had taken out; the many phases of the moon being displayed with a corresponding date underneath. He sighed and laid back against his bed, wishing that it had been a blue moon again so that the moon would come early on in the month instead of near the end, even though having to deal with two of them during one month wasn't something he was keen on doing either.

While he continued to see when the moon was going to hit next month, Freddie hunted for some kind of happy memory he could use to even form a basic patronus. Although Brian hadn't had much luck either, nor did he expect either of them to do so since they had only begun roughly three weeks ago with learning about these creatures, he wanted to get it done with. He knew Brian wanted him to have it down more so than he wanted to create his own since he wasn't the one affected as badly as he was every month. So he'd pause his own progress to help him catch up if needed.

Memories resurfaced slowly, all of them being relatively happy but none of them quite bringing that huge crash of joy that would produce some kind of patronus. He thought back to his earliest of memories regarding Charlotte and him playing around with her as a kid. Then came the time when he was around six and had gotten frightened over a spider outside and he had gotten rid of it by accidentally blowing it away a good few meters, thus letting him and the rest of his family know that he was indeed possessing some kind of magic. More came up, each making him feel blissfully relaxed with all those sweet thoughts that were now swarming in his mind.

"Well, you're right anyway." Brian finally said. "It's on the twenty second and the next day would be hectic if we tried going home."

He was forced out of his self-created peace as he opened his eyes and looked towards his lover, seeing his grim expression as he pointed right at the picture of the full moon with the twenty second written just underneath it.

"I knew we weren't that lucky. Least it's not directly on Christmas or the day after." He replied, guilt tightening his stomach as he remembered their fourth year and how ever lucky they were when it had landed on Christmas Eve and he was forced to spend it feeling ill and then alone for the whole night.

"Yeah...I guess that's some kind of luck." Brian continued, biting down on his bottom lip for a second. "You know what? Let's go to the Owlery. You can go see Twilight! He's been up there forever and you know he'd love to see you again."

Freddie hummed in response, tucking his wand into his cloak and getting up from his bed. He couldn't bring himself to look back up at his boyfriend, not after he saw that look upon his face when he told him about the moon again. He shuddered, forcing those thoughts back down so that he wouldn't remember where they were going to be once more in a few weeks' time. You're fine dammit, the moon passed already and you'll be getting better for the next couple of days. Even with it being the next day, his lingering exhaustion was still incapacitating him. His weakened state was only making him more susceptible to any sort of attacks, making it even harder to function both physically and mentally.

"Come on." Brian coerced, coming up behind him and wrapping his arms around his smaller frame, a soft blush forming on his face as he felt him nuzzle the side of his face. "It's beautiful outside and some fresh air's gonna be nice instead of this stuffy room."

He silently agreed, soon reaching over and grabbing his scarf that was folded neatly on top of his nightstand and wrapping it around his neck. Brian tugged on his cloak that had been hanging next to his own bed while grabbing a few pieces of parchment and a quill. His body groaned slightly, begging for him to just go lay back down and not bother walking around so he could get his energy back. It was already a struggle for him to go against it, yet he continued following his partner out of the room and down the staircase, wanting nothing more than to get outside after being locked up for so long.

...

Miscellaneous hoots from the cavalcade of owls hit him as soon as they opened the door of the Owlery, Freddie already starting to glance around for Brian's rather large, grey owl that was usually off to the left of the door when they walked in. Brian soon followed, running his hands through his hair as he searched for his beloved owl among the many others that were doing their own thing around them.

"There he his, come down here you big oaf." Brian said playfully, the large bird halting its grooming and flying down to meet his height on one of the nearby perches. Twilight's yellow eyes hovered over to him, his beak coming in contact with his outstretched hand and gently nibbling his thin fingers.

"I should get one. I've never had an owl for myself."

"Don't your parents have one?"

"Well, yes. It's mainly my mother's. My father doesn't really like 'em so she's the one who attaches it to Clover."

"You wanna write it out?" He asked. "If it reaches my parents they'll tell yours and vice versa so it doesn't really matter who it's sent to." 

"Go ahead, he's your owl." Freddie answered, continuing to softly stroke the top of the large owl's head.

"Like that matters. You haven't written home all year. Least not since the first week. Go send something to your parents Fred. They probably miss hearing from you."

They wouldn't if they knew what they got for a son. "Alright, give it here."

He handed him the fresh sheet of parchment and his own delicate white quill. The familiar feeling of guilt settled over his stomach as he pondered what to write while Brian played around with his owl. He hated having to lie about it all, especially to his own family since they didn't deserve having to wonder why he wouldn't come home for the holidays. The last thing he needed was to ever come home during the full moon and risk being late and stuck in the house during it. Everyone's safety would be at risk because they accidentally forgot one thing. Even the chance of someone just finding out was astronomically high. Hell he even risked killing them if it ever lost control and he couldn't fathom the repercussions.

Dear Mum and Dad,

I'm sorry for being so quiet over the past few months. School's kept me busy with upcoming N.E.W.Ts and all the difficulties accompanying prefect duties. But we've been lucky with the classes we chose to keep this year! Potions has gotten interesting and we've started with patronuses and dementors in defense.

It's all been so demanding though. Brian's been having the same issues with his classes and I think that we're going to remain at the school for the holiday this year to stay caught up with all the work. We don't want to risk falling behind or any of that. Hopefully when Easter rolls around we'll be able to come home then! I'm sorry for not being able to come home again...

His hand froze, the words suddenly stopping as he sighed in defeat. He didn't want to stay here again and miss Christmas at home because of his choice that caused all of this. But what more could he do? Have the moon happen a week earlier so that he could actually heal, catch up on work, and not endure it during the holiday itself? If he did have that power he'd do so in a heartbeat.

"Freddie, you alright?" Brian asked, his hand coming down onto his shoulder as he nodded in response.

"Just don't know what to tell them. I can't stand giving the same excuse every year." He admitted.

"Freddie they're not going to be upset. They'll be a bit disappointed but it's not the end of the world. You can send them a letter when Christmas comes up so that they can hear from you then!" He said in his happiest voice he could find at the moment.

He scoffed, returning his attention to the sheet of parchment in front of him and quickly resuming what he had wanted to say.

I don't want to be a bother again when I come home. I know you'll all be fine without me there. I'll make sure to send a letter when December comes by to wish it to you then.

I love you both ♡

Freddie

Brian handed him a lilac colored envelope, his home address already written across it in Brian's own neat script while he folded his letter into a neat square so that it would fit. Twilight held out his foot, eagerly ruffling his feathers and slightly spreading his wings. He tied the letter around his foot and watched him immediately fly off out of the Owlery and into the clear sky.

"Should be only a few days. Give it a week or two and you'll get a response."

Freddie hummed in response, pulling his cloak across his body even more so as a harsh wind made its way into the small room. Immediately he felt Brian's arms wrapped around his body, the added warmth of his pressed up against his back making his weak frame almost collapse in his arms.

"It's almost lunch." Brian began. "We can head down to the dining hall and you can eat if you're up for it?"

He smiled softly, lightly tugging at his partner's arm over to the exit of the Owlery. As they reached the door, he turned him over and pressed him against the wall, laying his index finger on the center of his chest. He glanced up, relishing that shock and opposing concern in his hazel eyes. Without another word, he stood up on his toes to reach his boyfriend's height and pressed his lips against his, his body relaxing as his eyes fell shut and his arms wrapped around his waist.

"I love you. You've no idea how much I do." He whispered as soon as he pulled back.

"You're the best thing in my life. Don't you forget that." Brian replied, softly tightening his hold around his body.

It was as if everything bad had gone away. Every moon hadn't happened, every scar on his body had vanished, and every attack he had ever endured had all been a figment of his imagination. After all that time, he was still relieved that he hadn't been the one to lose him to someone else.

"Let's get down there, I don't want someone coming up here and spoiling all this for us." He said, slowly reaching for the knob of the door and feeling Brian release him from his gentle hold around him.

"We don't need a repeat of Roger's little observation from yesterday." Brian told him, his face going white as soon as he finished his sentence.

"Brian dear don't worry." He soothed, knowing that he was already beating himself up for reminding both of them of him nearly slipping into one of his attacks yesterday beneath the tree. "It's not our third year and I didn't go through a full one. You can mention them."

He remained silent, obviously still hating for slipping up as he followed him out of the Owlery. The fresh, cold air that hit his face felt contrastingly refreshing, more so than it had when he had first left the castle to make his way over here. Brian walked ahead of him, burying the side of his face into his hand and running it back through his hair, letting out a long sigh of frustration. He reached out and grabbed Brian's wrist, his frame tensing up as he stopped moving.

"Don't beat yourself up, please. It's nothing big." He whispered in a barely audible voice, wishing desperately that he wouldn't let it consume his rationale once more. He gave a weak smile, trying his best to shake his lover's worry that he was upset over what he had accidentally said. The soft smirk that followed relaxed his own nerves, Freddie pulling him back so he could wrap his arms around his waist, softly sighing as he felt Brian's hand softly stroke his arm. Not another word was spoken, the two of them making their way back down the steps as soon as he released his hold around him, quietly following him down to the dining hall.

...

Savory scents filled the Great Hall. Freshly cooked turkey, ham, and chicken mingled with the warm scent of baked bread rolls and the hearty ones that wafted off the cooked vegetables. Brian led Freddie down the hall over to what was the Ravenclaws' tables that was slightly empty for the time being. Students were quickly filtering into the area, the once lovable silence diminishing as more chatter bounced off the surrounding walls and filled the large area.

"Come on, our spot's free right now." Brian said, eagerly tugging his boyfriend down towards the end of the second table to make sure no one would steal it from them.

They seated themselves in their usual spot, Brian taking quick notice of the slight nauseous look on Freddie's face as he looked at the extensive set of diverse food in front of them. Everyone around them was already digging in, snatching the utensils from the bowls and plates to grab whatever pieces or servings they desired, only a couple looking their way as they continued to sit there silently without any food on their golden plates.

"You want anything? Look there's some salad if you want something light." He suggested, his own stomach growling at the sight.

"I'll take something in a moment." He replied softly, pulling his legs up onto his seat and laying his folded arms on top of his knees. "You go eat something, I know you're hungry Bri."

He turned his attention towards the aforementioned salad, grabbing a few scoops of it and placing it along his plate, Freddie already reaching out for the vinaigrette that was among the group of dressings. He sighed in defeat, grabbing his fork and starting to eat his lunch, Freddie passing one of the rolls in front of him and leaving it on the corner of his plate away from the puddle of dressing that had started spreading towards its edge.

"Eat dear." Freddie said, motioning towards the small indent he'd made in his food. "I will eat something, don't worry about me. It might be later on during dinner."

"Have that roll, I'm fine with the salad."

Freddie opened his mouth to argue again, but clamped it shut and took the roll off of his plate, reaching out in front of him and taking a small square of butter off of the stick, ripping the bread in two and spreading it along the steaming inside.

"You still up for going to the library later? Roger wanted some help with transfiguration and John's struggling with Care of Magical Creatures." Freddie asked after he finished the first half of his roll.

"Well you can help John with that. I know how to handle worms and fangless snakes." He replied. "I'm fine helping Roger out."

"Darling neither of us are good with that! I'd run at the first sight of a grindylow! Let alone whatever the hell John's learning about now."

"I believe they're nifflers. Nothing too bad so I think you'll be alright if you take him on this time. And it's not like he's bringing one for you to study with him."

He snickered at the thought of John trying to sneak one into the library in a cage without being caught. He looked behind him, trying to see if Roger had already snuck down or left to speak with his boyfriend away from his own house. As expected, he could already see him hovering over who he assumed was his boyfriend and was happily chatting with him, ignoring his own meal for a chance to speak with him until they could go back to their own day together.

"Thank God we're not in different houses." Brian remarked, unable to imagine how hard everything would be if they were. Having to sneak around to see each other through the castle, sharing hardly any classes, not getting to see him at the end of the day. The worst thing would still be how to deal with the moon when it came around since he couldn't be in the same room the day of.

"Hmm..." Freddie began, glancing behind him towards the other houses. "I think we'd find a way to get around. Sneaking off downstairs in the middle of the night to screw around in some empty classroom of some sorts." He leaned closer, just a few centimeters from his ear. "Maybe actually getting around to a decent shag with me pinned up against one of the walls."

"Freddie." Brian hissed, instinctively swallowing his forkful of salad at Freddie's vulgar remark. "I do not need others hearing that."

"That's not what you said at Halloween last year. Hmm, shirking our prefect duties since you quite liked me in my little devil's outfit last year."

Embarrassment stormed through his body as his face turned a bright red at Freddie's reminder of how they spent the remainder of Halloween after the feast had ended. Yet his little comment did eventually bring a smile to his face now that his partner was starting to brighten up from his grim mood from earlier.

"A-anyway..." Brian started after the initial shock wore off.

"Oh don't be so shy dear!" Freddie teased as he reached over him for a nearby chicken leg. "Just relax, you're acting like no one's ever fucked in this school before. Hell I bet you that Roger and John've even gotten around to doing something when no one's around."

"Just because they do doesn't mean that everyone's got a right to know about it." He replied, finishing up the last bit of his salad.

Freddie snickered playfully, leaning forward and placing a chaste kiss on his cheek before he returned to his small bit of chicken. He was glad to see him eating again and without him having to practically hold the food out for him to eat. Having some kind of proof that his lover was recovering was a nice thing to see, even more so since it was much faster than usual.

"Let's get out of here, I wanna spend some time outside now that it's started to heat up a bit." Freddie begged, tugging at his sleeve and motioning towards the doors that already had a few groups of students rushing out of them to spend their day off outside. Brian couldn't help but agree, abandoning his plate and quickly grabbing one of the desserts off the trays that were starting to pop up in between the many, now devoured, plates that once contained the main courses.

Crisp autumn winds hit both of them as soon as they entered the grounds, Brian instinctively looking back to make sure his lover was alright in his still weakened state. He waved him off, claiming he was alright despite the current look of exhaustion that was only growing upon his face. Maybe he should just convince him to go back inside and back up to their dormitory or even the common room. At least there they could relax with some kind of warmth. Yet Freddie persisted, never once asking for help as they walked along the yellowing grass that stretched across the land.

He watched him look across the area, a sense of relaxation finally coming over him now that he saw that genuine light start to sneak back into his gaze. Even with the dark circles beneath his eyes, the lingering paleness across his skin, and those accursed scars that luckily weren't marring too much what was visible to everyone else, he hadn't seen him look so calm in months.

"Despite what I said yesterday, I really do love autumn." Freddie said out of nowhere, casually kicking at the leaves and watching them scatter. "I dunno, it's just nice to see everything."

"I know you just like the fact that summer's gone. Always bitching about the heat." Brian commented, earning a gentle smack on his arm from his giggling boyfriend.

"That doesn't matter! I just like the season. The trees look lovely and it's not deathly hot outside for once!"

"Exactly, summer's gone and that's why you like it you dolt." Brian continued, Freddie rolling his eyes at his statement, but still holding that small smile.

"Yes, yes. You happy now?" Freddie asked. "It looks a hell lot better than winter if you..."

His eyes locked on the sight in front of him. The Forbidden Forest stretched out in front of them, the dense collection of trees allowing little to no light to break through the many branches that surrounded the area. A few faint shadows of whatever creatures were lurking amongst the shadows, none of them bothering with venturing out into the open. Freddie's gaze moved towards the grass, his body going stiff as his eyes followed what had once been the silvery path that he made during their third year.

"Freddie?" He asked, seeing him wrap his arms around his middle, his right hand rubbing along his side that carried the scars that the beast had left along him that same night. "It's not in there. It was a rogue one. There's no way in hell it's coming back here to hurt you."

He opened his mouth to say something, but quickly shut it, shaking his head gently before he leaned forward, taking a seat on the leaf-covered terrain and leaning on his hands, looking back up at the sky. Emotions began storming in his gaze again, accompanying memories no doubt seeping back into his thoughts. Brian's own imagination began acting up again as his mind created those intrusive images of his lover's twisting frame inside of that cell that he had put him in two nights prior. Moonlight seeped through the windows, covering the ground in a pale light that contrasted Freddie's pain-filled cries as everything took hold of him and his infliction would take over again.

What was he even doing? He hadn't ever seen what his mind was conjuring. All he'd ever gotten from the full moon's effect on his partner was during their fifth year in at the start of the school year when he had just shut the second door behind him. He had heard the loud crash of one of the chairs he had in there topple over, a strident scream of pain echoing off the walls of the room soon following. Not even a second later had he rushed out of the room, unable to force himself to listen to any more of that dreadful transformation.

He sat down next to his partner, taking him into his arms and bringing him closer, his limp frame not objecting to his movement as he tugged him closer. Thankfully there was no hast in his heartbeat and it remained fairly steady, his light breathing only bringing his nervousness back down. He's alright Brian, you know he is. He told himself, absentmindedly moving his hand down his side and over to his scarred leg, Freddie's breath hitching in his throat as he gently moved his hand along the scar he could barely feel beneath the fabric of his trousers. He softly ran his hand across it, copying the action with the other one along his chest.

"I don't want December to come." Freddie confided. "I just don't want that again..."

"It's gonna come, I'm sorry. I would stop time if I could." I'd go back and change time if I could. "You'll be alright. You've done it so many times and have gotten through every single one."

Freddie merely shrugged, sighing at his sentence as he began picking at the grass, tugging multiple strands out at once and letting them fly away in the wind. "It gets tiring. I just want a break for a month."

Each of them remained silent, neither knowing what to say. Brian glanced towards the forest, trying to shift Freddie away from seeing the forest and the patch where everything had gone down. He sighed softly, focusing in on the steady beat of his partner's heart and light breathing, not wanting anything to disrupt this rare moment of peace that had come upon the two of them.

...

"I am doing the movement right!" Roger argued out of frustration, poking at the many spines that lined his pin cushion that had once been a little hedgehog. "I swear it worked once and there weren't any spines!"

"You've got to focus a bit more on the movements Rog." Brian instructed, gently grabbing the squeaking pin cushion and laying it in front of him. In a second the little brown creature was back, looking around with wide eyes at its surroundings as Roger gently grabbed it and brought it over to where he was sitting, smirking softly as the little animal allowed him to pet its small face.

"Just focus on the end goal. Else John'll be able to make one before you can."

"Funny, last time I remember you trying to transfigure something it turned into a hopping soda bottle. Poor rabbit." He teased.

"I'll turn your hair grey if you keep bringing that up." Brian retorted, pointing his walnut wand at his blond hair. "Age you up a bit so you don't look like a six-year-old."

"You're the one who needs to grow up. You get all flustered every time Fred brings up sex."

"Oh hush up, your hedgehog's getting away." He told him, pointing towards the scampering little creature that was nearing the edge of the table.

He glanced behind him, seeing Freddie scan the stack of books he had perched next to him and John, the latter being huddled up behind a book about Defense Against the Dark Arts instead of the set about magical creatures that sat untouched next to him. His eyes dashed across the page, eagerly taking in everything that was displayed as Freddie came back over and opened up a book on sixth year charms.

"Okay, show me what to do. Least when that's all done with I can move on in that class. It's my last bit of homework for the weekend." Roger said, holding up the small spiny animal in front of his face. Brian picked up the tiny thing, placing it down in front of him and reciting the necessary spell with the required hand movement, Roger watching intently as he tried mimicking his actions with his own ash wand. In an instant the little rodent was turned into a fat blue pin cushion that immediately sat still and ceased all sounds.

"See, simple. Just imagine what kind of pin cushion you want. If you keep picturing the hedgehog, all you're gonna get is a spiny one that keeps squeaking."

Roger nodded in response and Brian changed the animal back into its normal self, feeling slightly bad at the hell they were putting it through for the time being. While Roger continued to work on his transfiguring, he grabbed his nearby Astronomy book, opening it up to the pages about the many constellations they had started to study. His mind began drifting back to earlier when they had begun to touch upon the full moon's upcoming dates. He couldn't help but flip back to the front of the book where he had stored a moon chart for quick reference, just to be sure of when it would show up the next month.

December twenty second, just as it said earlier Brian. Stop worrying for now. He told himself again, folding the large page up and looking behind him towards Freddie once again, seeing him run his hand along his stomach before returning to his reading. John leaned over and whispered something that led to Freddie nodding and folding up his book. The younger boy looked away from his lover in his direction for a split second before he handed him the book and turned around, his back now facing him.

"Finally!" Roger exclaimed out of relief, Brian's attention snapping away from the other two and looking down at the Gryffindor's squared, yellow pin cushion that had taken the place of his hedgehog. He held it up, his bright blue eyes shining with pride and relief.

"There you go. Anything else you're having problems with?" Brian asked, Roger quickly shaking his head as he stuffed the cushion into his pocket and reached out for his own Herbology book that he had shoved to the edge of their table.

"Go grab the creatures' book Deaky." Freddie said, Brian turning back around and seeing the sick look upon Freddie's face.

"Ahw but come on! Jenk's just given me a book that goes more in depth into these things and I wanna show him that I'm not wasting my time! Ooh, you think he'd given me extra credit if I went and wrote an essay on vampires or boggarts?"

"Darling that guy would probably give you a whole letter grade up if you give him an extra paragraph more than what he asked for." Freddie replied with a weak grin. 

John pulled a weak smile and folded up his book, delicately laying it on top of the pile behind him and snuck the magical creatures' one out from underneath it. He passed it over to Freddie, the once ill expression on his face vanishing as soon as John began telling him what he needed to go over.

"What're you guys talking about in defense right now?" Roger asked.

"Patronuses and dementors."

"Lucky you. John's told me they've had to go over all those nocturnal beasts again in his class because majority of them in there can't tell a vampire from a werewolf!"

Brian chuckled nervously, swallowing thickly as he glanced behind him in Freddie's direction, relief flooding through him as he saw him focused on helping the younger boy study and not intruding upon their conversation.

"Well, that's sort of embarrassing." Brian admitted. "Besides being out at night, there's not much similarities between them."

"You're right about that. Both deserve to be kept away from the regular world as much as possible." He replied. "Werewolves especially. It's awful what they've got but they really shouldn't get the chance to pass it on to other people."

"It's not really their fault...They just really need to be...kept away when it's the full moon." Brian refuted.

"People still aren't safe then." Roger concluded. "Anyway, John's dying to learn more in that class instead of learning all this stuff again. It's quite endearing to be honest..." He said in a softer voice, his eyes brightening as finished his statement.

"And you've the nerve to call me and Freddie lovebirds." Brian teased. "Look at you, all mushy over Deaky ever since you two got together."

Roger's face went bright red as he shrugged nonchalantly. "Well, what can I say? He's just...Great to be around."

"Honeymooners." Brian jeered, Roger tossing his pincushion at him while trying to keep his laughter under control.

Hours ticked by, the library slowly emptying out, all candles going dim besides his own that sat between him and Freddie while they reviewed their charms work together. Soon enough the only other people in the library were them four, a few other fifth years, and the librarian herself who too was looking quite tired. Brian rubbed the growing sleep out of his eyes, trying to focus on the wand motion again for the silencing charm he was still having issues with accomplishing while Freddie lazily froze and unfroze the wax in the candle, staring at it with an uninterested gaze.

Freddie snickered softly, his gaze moving away from the green candle and over to the nearby bookshelves. "Brian, Brian look!" He whispered playfully, leaning across the table and shaking his shoulder.

"Fred I'm busy." He stated. "And I won't mind testing out the charm on you if you won't be quiet."

"But look!" He insisted.

Brian sighed in defeat and placed the book down, checking behind him at whatever it was Freddie was so eager about. His mouth twitched up into a soft smile at the sight. Roger curled up against John's stomach with one of his arms lazily thrown across the book in John's lap while the other was lost behind him. John's head was leaning back against the bookshelves behind him, each of them deeply lost in their own sleep and oblivious to everything around them. He couldn't help but let out a soft "Awh" at the innocent sight in front of them.

"Think we should wake 'em up?" Brian asked.

"Hmm..." Freddie hummed dreamily. "Reminds me of when you fell asleep on my shoulder because of your riveting astronomy homework."

"Oh hush!" Brian teased as he closed his book and stuffed it into his bag with the others. He stood up and walked over to the two younger students, gently shaking John's shoulder to wake him up. His eyes eventually opened, a soft yawn making its way out of him as he stretched in place.

"Oh God, what time is it?" John asked sleepily, his eyes threatening to fall shut again as he rested his head against the top of his chest.

"Late. Everyone's nearly gone. I suggest you get him up to his house so he can sleep, alright? We can study more another night." He told him, motioning downwards to his still slumbering partner.

"Right, right. I'll see you two tomorrow then."

Brian nodded in response, heading back towards the exit to the library to where his boyfriend was standing. He glanced behind him, watching as John shook Roger awake. The Gryffindor groaned something unintelligible yet loud enough to earn a harsh "Shh" from the librarian.

"Not much of a waker is he?" Freddie asked as he held the door open for him, letting him walk out first as they headed down the hallways towards the tower that held their house.

"Never has been." He admitted, his mind starting to drift back to earlier to the sick look upon his lover's face when John had begun going off on the dark creatures he had been learning about once again. But he kept himself silent, knowing he wouldn't get anything truthful from his lover if he asked.

...

Blue flames lit up the stone walls, casting a cooling light across the staircase as they climbed up the last few and headed towards the entrance to their dormitory once again. The eagle sprang to life, apathetically looking up at them and giving them their riddle.

"What month has twenty-eight days?" It asked.

"All of them." Freddie replied lazily, the eagle nodding and swinging the door open, Freddie dragging his tired frame through the door and heading towards the common room. Brian followed, the air tensing as he slowed his pace. He kept a fairly large distance between him and his partner. Nothing needed to be said. Why else would he be lying about how he felt about John's comment? It was just Freddie trying to build up his pride again after he broke down the night before. He'd dealt with it plenty of times before. But just because he had gone through it didn't mean he knew how to properly handle it.

He hung back, watching him climb up the stairs as he settled himself in one of the couches next to the fireplace. The flame had started dying out, the enchantment that kept it that vibrant blue and gold color dying away as it returned to its natural orange and red. The remaining flickers of the shrinking flame tried to regrow to its old vigor, yet continued to fall back down to the growing pile of embers that sat at the bottom of the stones. He considered tossing some kind of water onto it to put it out of its misery until a house elf would come by and reignite it for the day once again, but sat still and continued to gaze at the small glow. 

Go up there and talk to him. He'll probably appreciate it. Brian told himself as he brought the rest of his body up onto the couch and leaned back against the arm. He might be asleep already, you don't want to annoy him by waking him up. Besides, he needs some sleep. He sighed in defeat, hating himself for rehashing the conversation over in his head. Repeating the same phrases to his lover over and over again to try and soothe his nerves instead of leaving him to his own devices again. He might need some time alone. He suggested. Right because he didn't get enough of that two nights ago. You know that's not him. Nor is it relaxing at all. He pushed the thought away, trying to not bring that up again and wishing that it would die out into the background of his mind until the moon began growing once more.

Was it even right to not tell anyone? He thought, thinking back to how fervent Freddie had been that day with Madam Jones remaining quiet about his newfound infliction and how he too had jumped on board so quickly. Maybe they should've just told the teachers. It'd put less pressure on them to do better. He knew he couldn't tell Roger or John. Roger already had terrible thoughts towards those things and as much as he tried not showing it, he despised them with every inch of his being. As for John, he just had no idea how he'd react. Volatile? Silent? Would he never talk to them again? Or would he blab to everyone about having a werewolf as his friend? It was all so unpredictable that he couldn't even fathom the idea of letting someone else know.

He looked down at the dark carpet, tracing his eyes along the intricate designs that decorated the small rug in the middle of the room. You got to do something to take his mind off of it. Try the patronus thing again. He'd be ecstatic to get that thing working. He considered, smirking softly at the thought of his face glowing once more as something went right so soon after something so terrible occurred again. He pushed himself up, not wanting to risk falling asleep atop the couch and managed to heave himself across the floor and up the stairs.

Upon opening the door, he was greeted with the darkness of his dormitory. The other two boys who accompanied them in their room were fast asleep underneath the blankets of their respected beds. On the other hand, Freddie was still out of his. Only partially, however. His frame was slack over the side of it, the upper half laying splayed out against it while he was still knelt down on the ground. His wand was hanging limply in his right hand next while his head rested against an open book, the depiction of a glowing bear erupting from the wand of an unknown wizard's wand leaping forward to defend it from the crowd of dementors.

"Poor thing..." He whispered as he headed over as quietly as he could. He stuck his hands under his arms and hoisted him out of his position, managing a weak smile as his head went slack against his shoulder. Brian laid him down on top of his bed, silently begging that he'd just roll onto the side and stay asleep and get a proper rest again. His focus tuned in on his breathing, watching as his chest slowly rose up and down in a slightly irregular manner. He resisted the urge to wake him, knowing it was best to see if it calmed down on its own this time around instead of taking him out of his sleep.

As silently as possible, Brian grabbed a spare blanket from next to his bed and gently laid it over his partner's body, his frame only slightly moving from under it before falling still again besides his still softly moving chest. His eye caught the beginning of the cut along his neck again, seeing it already start to pale to another thin white line that would forever stay upon his skin.

"I'm sorry Freddie." He whispered as he buried the side of his face in his hand. Freddie stayed immobile, letting out a heavy exhale while Brian moved the blanket up to cover even more of his body. It all made him sick. Seeing those scars, having to hear a split second of just how painful it had been to change, the fact that he could've been there for him, and that this, in the end, was all his fault.