I lie in my bed at this hot, sweaty autumn night and think about how you're doing. We are in different time- zones, so you must be up and about. How you must be getting ready for classes of your school, or might be on your way to your job. I don't even know how your schedule is like right now.

The only thing I know is that I miss you very much. Very very very much. Like my heart hurts and bleeds and swerves and takes a leap and crash with a thud against the rib cage.

I just wonder, you know, if you are seeing someone... or if there's a new girl you're going out with. The void that I'm supposed to fill... is maybe filled by her and I'm insanely jealous and mad but I have no right to. I just feel how unfair all of this is.

I just want to hug you tight and fall asleep but that ain't happening. I'm just here, bleh. Sleepless and closing enough on the radar to be a depraved insomniac. You know how worrisome it is?

The deep seated fears of my heart takes out its gnarly teeth like those sickening relatives who keep asking you, 'what do you want to do next in your life?'

Kill myself, that is.

Anyways, I'm tired. I'm getting super tired of all of this. I mean my life.

But not of you. Never of you.

I kind of like writing to you before I fall asleep. It's just makes me feel like it hasn't been fifteen days since I last texted you a goodbye.

Hasta luego!