Hey, are you there?

You know what I did today?

Today, I was brave.

Remember, how we used to text all day and all night? One of those nights (at least for me), I ended up watching Conjuring 2 and, I just went through our chats for the millioneth time, because I don't have an eidetic memory anymore. I used to, but I don't now. Remember, I told you that I don't like how this movie is making me feel, and you were on one of your afternoon work shifts and were texting me. I finally told you what was really bugging me — I was scared.

Three easy words, but so hard to acknowledge.

You said that you will be here in spirit for me, that your spirit form is wrapping his hands around me and cuddling me to sleep--- I don't know why I found that so soothing.

I hated watching horror movies, because let's face it, I'm too chicken to watch it all alone and you said you just laughed your ass off with them, and when you said that, I swear I can imagine us leaning back on the couch, my head lulled in your smooth, warm, cozy neck, my upper body propped against yours and we were watching that same movie.

And when in the last minutes of the movie, Vera Farmiga and Chris Pratt dance to Fools Rush In, I can imagine myself tucked closely in your arms, following your lead.

And you said, "I'm always here for you."

Silly me, I closed my eyes and believed that with every grain of hope in my body.