"We're becoming apprentices in four days!" cheered Snailkit, bursting out of the nursery. Willowkit jumped. She had been sleeping outside of the nursery for the past half moon. Wrencry had tried to talk her into coming back into the nursery but Willowkit refused. Even Gorsestar had tried to talk to Mintspot, Beetlejaw and finally Willowkit about it, but to no avail. Willowkit remained outside of the nursery. Everynight, she slept outside, a hard bothered sleep. 
               "Yes!" yelled Acornkit, right behind his brother. They sprinted out of the nursery and towards the camp entrance where the dawn patrol was gathered. Their father, Pigeonflight, was there. They rushed to him and almost climbed all over him. He laughed happily and played with his kits for a while, his eyes were bright with pride and love. He was almost just as excited as them. Willowkit studied them, feeling a deep pang in her heart. She would be becoming an apprentice in nineteen days. She had been counting down. She wanted to be an apprentice so bad now. She wanted to go out of camp, run like she had never run before. She just wanted to run and pretend that her life was great. That everything was awesome. Willowkit sighed. She wished she had never left camp. She wanted to become an apprentice right then.
               "Who do you want to be your mentor?" asked Acornkit, appearing behind Willowkit. She jumped and realised that the dawn patrol had already left and she had started daydreaming. 
             "Um. I don't know," shrugged Willowkit.
             "I want Gorsestar to be my mentor," grinned Acornkit. 
              "He's not going to be your mentor," piped in a voice. It was Snailkit. 
             "And why not?" snapped Acornkit. "Nobody was talking to you anyways." 
             "He's going to be my mentor," said Snailkit. 
              "Whatever," snorted Acornkit, not wanting to make the conversation any longer. "Just go. Nobody wants you here." Willowkit cringed at the harsh words. She admired Acornkit for that. He was confident and smart and intelligent and nice and.... the list could go on. She wished she could speak up like Acornkit like that. Of course, she couldn't. She was invisible, silent. 
                "So who do you want to be your mentor. And don't worry. You can say Gorsestar. I don't mind. It's just that when Snailkit says it, it's sooo annoying. He really thinks that Gorsestar is going to pick him to be future leader or something," Acornkit rolled his eyes. Willowkit didn't want Gorsestar to be her mentor. Firstly, she had a feeling that Mintspot and probably therefore Beetlejaw, wouldn't approve. 
              "I don't know... Maybe Lilypetal," said Willowkit. Lilypetal seemed nice enough. 
               "If I'm not getting Gorsestar or Doestripe, then I want to Brownclaw or Halestorm, although Halestorm is Dovepaw's mentor...," sighed Acornkit. "Or maybe Fernspring. She seems really really really strong and scary." Willowkit nodded, noting with a pang that she was becoming an apprentice half a moon later than Acornkit. 
               "Aren't you excited?!" exclaimed Acornkit then something dawned on him. "Ohh. Right. You're not becoming an apprentice in four days... Sorry." 
                "It's ok," said Willowkit. She tried to shrug it off, "It's not your fault, you know."  
                 "Yeah, well you were really brave to sneak out of camp," said Acornkit. 
                "I guess...," Willowkit said, unsurely. She hadn't exactly felt brave, sneaking out. "I wasn't really scared..., so how could I have been brave?" Acornkit's eyes went wide. 
                 "wow! You weren't even scared?!" exclaimed Acornkit. Willowkit shrugged. 
                 "Not really...," she said. She definitely hadn't been too scared for her life. 
                "That makes you even braver," said Acornkit. Willowkit didn't know what to say. She felt a small fluttering in her heart. She smiled. 
                  "Aww, a smile!" grinned Acornkit happily jumping to his feet. "I haven't seen you smile in a long time." Willowkit looked at him sheepishly. She looked into his eyes. He was the only cat she could gaze in the eyes without then quickly looking to the ground. He was the only cat she could be herself around. The only cat she could tell almost everything because of course, she would never tell everything to anybody. She wasn't that open. 
                 "I'm going to get something to eat," Willowkit said, wanting to do something. To her surprise and joy, Acornkit asked if they could share. 
                 "Sure," answered Willowkit, a small spring in her step. Maybe everything wasn't so bad afterall. Maybe she was just being pessimistic. As they made their way to the fresh-kill pile. Mintspot stepped in front of Willowkit. Willowkit's stomach dropped. She stopped in her tracks and looked up, unable to meet Mintspot's eye. 
                 "I need to talk to you, for a moment," Mintspot said, eyeing Acornkit by Willowkit's side. Acornkit gave her a slight glare then trotted towards the fresh-kill pile without Willowkit. Mintspot took Willowkit to the side. 
                 "What are you doing with him?" asked Mintspot. 
                "I just... I was going to get something to eat," Willowkit said in a small voice. This was the first time Mintspot was talking to her in at least a quarter moon. Willowkit hated that she had made Mintspot mad. 
                 "With Acornkit? What did- what do I always tell you about Acornkit? how many times do I have to tell you?" snapped Mintspot. "Honestly, do you have to be such a disappointment. I did everything for you... I- I sacrificed.... whatever, it's not like you would care. You're too selfish." Willowkit hung her head. Selfish. Disappointment. She was selfish, even Mintspot said so. She thought too much about herself. She was always thinking about how great her  own life would be with Stormkit. How great her own life would be if her family were normal. How great her own life would be if she was an apprentice and free of her parents. She sighed. She really was selfish. And a disappointment. Mintspot trudged off. Acornkit trotted to Willowkit's side. 
                "You alright?" he asked. "What did she say?" What was Willowkit supposed to answer? Oh nothing, my Mum just called me selfish and a disappointment, no big deal. Willowkit huffed. She wished she could be the kit that Mintspot wanted. She never knew what she had done to Mintspot, but now it was clear. She was just a disappointment, nothing she did was good enough. Nothing she did could ever measure up to what Stormkit would have been capable of doing. 
                 "Yeah, of course," Willowkit replied. Acornkit didn't believe her. Of course he didn't. It was obvious she wasn't ok. It was obvious she was lying. 
                "Let's eat," said Acornkit. Remembering what her mother had said, Willowkit knew she couldn't hang out with Acornkit anymore. Could she chose a great friendship, a really nice and understanding friend, over her mother's will? Maybe. Probably. Of course she had to. She couldn't disappoint her mother more than she already had. 
                "I'm- I'm not hungry anymore. You go ahead," said Willowkit. "I'm-.... bye." With that, she scurried off. Tears gathered like water at a damn behind Willowkit's eyes. She slipped under the protection of a bush behind the nursery and sobbed. Her whole body shook. She dug her claws into the dirt, taking deep breaths. Finally, she shook herself. What was she doing? She was feeling bad for herself. How selfish was that? She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She slowly calmed down. She was never going to be selfish again.