Matagal na nakatitig si Zed sa pinto, paulit-ulit na nagtatalo sa isip niya kung susundan ba niya si Adi o tulad noon, bibigyan niya ito ng space. Kahit kailan, ayaw niyang nasasakal si Adi sa relasyon nila, ayaw niyang napapaisip ito kung ano ba ang mayroon sila, ayaw niyang nahihirapan, at kung puwede lang niyang ibigay lahat, gagawin niya.

Kung tutuusin, iyon ang ginawa niya. He literally gave Adi the space, even though he didn't want to.

Zed took a deep breath and continued fixing the groceries. Inayos niya sa counter, sa shelves, sa ref, at sa bathroom ang lahat ng pinamili ni Adi. Nang matapos, isa-isa niyang inayos ang mga sapatos niya at inasikaso ang panglinis ng sahig.

He made himself busy. He mopped the floor, wiped the kitchen clean, changed the bedsheets, and arranged the laundry. Sinunod niyang linisin ang bathroom at napatitig sa lababo nang makita ang dalawang toothbrush, skincare ni Adi, bracelet nitong nakalagay sa coaster, at mula sa reflection ng bathroom mirror, nakita niya ang dalawang bath towel na nakasampay.

It took him dreadful years to finally see this again, and just one conversation, Adi left, and he didn't know what was next.

Nang matapos malinis ang halos buong condo, tumingin siya sa orasan. It was almost midnight, and everything still felt heavy. The silence was deafening. Isa pa, kahit saan siya tumingin, si Adi ang nakikita niya. He wanted to hear the laughter or just stay with her in silence; it was enough.

Under the shower, Zed thought about what he heard. Hindi niya gustong i-give up ni Adi ang mga pangarap at opportunity para suportahan siya. Wala iyon sa plano, hindi nila iyon napag-usapan, at alam niya ang mga pangarap ng asawa niya.

It was past midnight, and he couldn't sleep. He opened his phone, went straight to the shared playlist with Adi, and blindly played in shuffle. To his shock, the song was Just Say Yes by Snow Patrol... the song they used at their wedding party.

Without thinking twice, Zed stood up and went straight to Adi's unit. Hindi siya sigurado kung natutulog na ito o nasa loob, basta na lang niyang binuksan ang pinto.

Meanwhile, Adi was awake, but in bed. The lights were off, the room was cold, and it was too silent until she heard a click from the door. Sigurado siyang si Zed iyon dahil may susi naman ito ng unit niya.

Hindi siya gumalaw at naghintay. Nanatili siyang nakatitig sa bintang nakabukas kung saan kita niyang maraming bituin sa langit.

It was silent until she felt a hand brushed her hair. Naramdaman din niya ang paglubog ng kama sa likuran niya kasunod ang pagdikit ng mainit na katawan ni Zed na yumakap sa kaniya.

"I love you," Zed murmured, kissing the back of her head.

Adi's chin literally vibrated. "Sorry," she whispered.

Naramdaman niyang mas humigpit pa ang yakap ni Zed na hinaplos ang mukha niya at paulit-ulit na hinalikan ang likuran ng ulo niya. Humarap siya kaya nakakuha ito nang pagkakataon para halikan naman ang nood niya.

"I don't want you giving up anything for me," Zed caressed her cheek. "Adi naman."

They were nose to nose, close enough to feel every unsteady breath. Adi moved and planted one kiss on Zed's lips.

"You'll do the same for me," she whispered. "Naalala mo noong sinabi ko sa 'yong may offer ako sa US and you straight up told me you'll come with me? Na fuck basketball, you'll come with me?"

Zed nodded. "I really would."

"I know," Adi sniffed. "I know, and I don't want you giving up basketball. Alam kong sasama ka. Alam kong iiwan mo for me, and I also don't want you to leave all of these behind."

Pumikit si Zed at mas idinikit ang noo kay Adi. "Baby..." malalim itong huminga. "I don't want to lose us again, not again. If basketball would—"

"It won't... kaya nga ako na ang nag-adjust. I will adjust for us this time, just let me. I'm sorry if I kept on leaving, but I hated it here again. Baby," Adi started sobbing. "Give me a chance. You're not stealing away from me. I'm just... pausing. I'm not giving up on my dreams, my goals... babalikan ko pa rin naman sila, pero ikaw muna."

Walang naging sagot si Zed sa sinabi niya. Mas humigpit lang ang yakap nito sa kaniya at paulit-ulit na hinalikan ang noo niya kasunod ang mahinang hagulhol. It wasn't her intention to make him cry and when she was about to pull away and talk, Zed just hugged her tighter... not wanting to let go.

That night, Adi cried with Zed. She had no regrets about deciding to stay and chase his dreams. Wala namang mawawala sa kaniya. Again, just pausing... not stopping.

"Five to ten years from now, or maybe when you're ready to give up basketball, ako naman," mahinang sambit ni Adi at hinaplos ang tagiliran ni Zed. "I can do so much while here. Marami rin naman akong plano, una na siguro mag-bake ng cookies."

Sa sinabi niya, suminghot si Zed at mahinang natawa. Ang mahinang pagtawa at napunta sa halakhak. Sabay sila hanggang sa magkatinginan.

Adi smiled and planted one more kiss on Zed's chin. "Ikaw muna ang bahalang bumuhay sa 'kin, ha? Medyo high maintenance ako kaya siguraduhin mong maganda ang contract na makukuha mo."

"Kaya ko naman talaga, even now," Zed assured. "But I will make sure to get the biggest contract for us. Para sa dream house natin... and for the future. Kahit hindi ka na magtrabaho. I will maintain you."

—

Nagising si Adi nang tumama sa mga mata niya ang liwanag mula sa bintana. Wala na rin si Zed sa tabi niya. Babangon na sana siya nang maramdaman ang phone sa gilid niya.

It was Zed's phone. Wala naman sana siyang balak na hawakan o buksan iyon nang makitang tumatawag ang coach nito na kaagad niyang sinagot at sinabing wala si Zed, pero sasabihing tatawag kaagad kapag naibigay na niya ang phone.

After the call, she stared at Zed's wallpaper. It was them, facing each other... nose to nose. Matagal na ang picture na iyon, kuha mula sa celebration party ng varsity team ng Eastern U dahil sa championship. It wasn't Zed's wallpaper before they separated. Noon kasi, picture nila sa kasal.

But she liked this photo more.

Tumingin siya sa pinto nang bumukas iyon at nakita si Zed, bitbit ang paperbag mula sa tapsihang paborito nito. Hawak din nito ang dalawang iced coffee galing sa isang kilalang coffee shop.

"Good morning," Zed smiled widely. "Ginigising kita kanina, kain sana tayo kaso ayaw mo bumangon kaya bumili na lang ako. Spicy tapsilog, beef mami, and iced coffee with me."

Adi scrunched her nose and chuckled. Inayos niya ang kama, inalis ang mga unan at kumot, habang pinanonood si Zed na ayusin sa tray ang pagkain nila. She wanted breakfast in bed with Zed. It had been long since they did this. Noon, halos araw-araw.

"We should do this more often," Adi suggested. "By the way, tumawag si coach. Hinahanap ka. Sabi ko, tatawag ka rin kaagad mamaya pagdating mo."

"Hayaan mo lang," Zed walked towards her and kissed the side of her lips. "Kain tayo? Wala akong pasok ngayon, pero baka magtatanong si coach tungkol sa laro bukas. Nood ka?"

Adi excitedly nodded. Of course, she would.

Nagsimula silang kumain habang nagkukuwento si Zed tungkol sa dati nilang binibilhan ng tapsilog. Nabanggit nitong buntis na naman ang tinderang kapapanganak lang noong nakaraang taon. Hindi nila maiwasang maawa ngunit nirerespeto rin naman nila ang desisyon ng mag-asawa.

Personally, they hadn't talked about having kids yet. Napag-usapan nila ni Zed noong bago pa lang silang kasal na marami pa silang time, hindi sila nagmamadali, at gusto nila ay mayroon na silang sariling bahay at maayos na savings para sa magiging anak nila.

"Babe." Adi got Zed's attention, who stopped chewing. "Last week, nagpunta ako sa admin ng Eastern U and nagtanong ako about sa possible courses na puwede kong ma-enroll."

Zed stared at her, squinting. "Are you planning to get another degree? Go ahead, baby. I'll pay."

Adi wanted to say no, she had savings, but didn't and just let Zed. Alam din naman niyang mag-i-insist ito o hindi naman kaya ay bibigyan siya ng options tulad ng half o full or full with allowances. She already knew.

"What course, babe?" Zed asked.

"I don't know yet," she shrugged. "I was browsing the courses last time, pero tinawag mo na ako. Hindi ko rin alam. I still have months to decide and I'll do homeschooling. Gusto ko lang din talagang may magawa habang nasa bahay."

Zed agreed and told her just let him know about her plans and all. Pinag-usapan din nila ang tungkol sa condo unit dahil parang gusto ni Zed na ibenta ang unit niya o kaya ay parentahan para wala na raw siyang reason o matuluyan kung hindi sa condo lang nila kapag nagtatampo siya.

"Hindi na mauulit," mahinang sambit ni Adi habang nakayuko. "I won't leave like that again. I didn't know what to do anymore and I don't like the feeling of being away from you again. Gusto kong bumalik kagabi, pero nahihiya ako. Hindi ko alam—"

"Sorry, hindi ako sumunod kaagad," pagputol ni Zed sa sinabi ni Adi. "I wanted to follow, gusto kitang pigilan... but I was too scared that you'll push me more. I c-can't take more of that," pag-aamin niya. "Please, next time... usap tayo? We're not eighteen anymore."

Natawa si Adi sa sinabi ni Zed. "Babe, honestly... we were better at communicating when we were fourteen and eighteen."

"I know," umiling si Zed. "Tama na, ha? Ayoko nang hiwalay. Tayo na lang palagi. Usap na lang tayo lagi. Usap mag-asawa."

Tumango si Adi at tinitigan si Zed. In two years, both matured physically. Zed looked manly, hindi tulad noong kabataan nila na medyo payat. The man currently in front of her was muscular, very athletic, and not being biased, but attractive.

Kaya nang minsan niyang buksan ang social media, nakita niya ang posts tungkol kay Zed na sinasabing sayang hindi na available. O kaya comments na "asawa natin", "our boyfie/hubby", at "teh favor, sa 'min na lang".

Dahil sa naalala, bigla siyang natawa dahilan para magtanong si Zed.

"What's funny?"

She didn't respond and continued laughing.

"What?" Zed frowned and voiced deeper.

Adi smiled widely, still laughing. "Naalala ko the video I watched last time. It was a compilation of you, then there was a comment, I laughed talaga."

"Ano'ng sabi?" Zed's brows furrowed.

"Sabi nila... prayer reveal naman sa asawa," Adi grinned. "They're asking me what's my prayer kasi you're mine."

Zed grimaced. "What? Eh I prayed for you? Remember, ayaw mo 'kong pansinin noon, kung hindi pa ako nag-dribble sa harapan mo para mainis ka, hindi mo ako titingnan. It's the other way around. I prayed for you."

—
T H E X W H Y S
www.thexwhys.com