Terrence looked very offended after hearing the story that I told them tonight.

"Tang ina naman, bakit ka gan'yan? Si Savannah na 'yong girlfriend mo!" bulyaw niya sa akin.

Terrence might be a real dork but he can be really scary when angry, tulad ngayon. Sinalinan ko ng alak ang baso ko bago ininom 'yon nang diretso.

"Wala naman akong ginawa," sagot ko.

Wala naman talaga akong ginawa. I just watched Grace walked away from us after introducing herself to Savannah. Tinapos namin ni Savannah ang pag-e-enroll niya hanggang sa nag-aya na siyang umuwi dahil pagod na siya.

The exhaustion is evident in her face so I believed her. After all, we did so many things in the university and I, myself, felt so tired.

"Wala ka ngang ginawa, pare," Aldrin said, calmly. "'Yon na nga. Normally, nasa bahay ka pa ni Savannah ngayon. Tang ina, 8:30 pa lang nang gabi. Ang normal na uwi mo, alas onse. Minsan nga doon ka na natutulog, 'di ba? May problema talaga. Hindi mo na pwedeng ikaila 'yon."

Napabuntonghininga ako bago isinandal ang likod sa couch habang lahat kami, nakaupo sa sahig ng living room.

"Hindi ko na alam."

"Bakit hindi mo na agad alam? Parang dati lang ang yabang mong magkwento sa amin na nagpa-plano na kayo para sa future n'yo ni Sav, tapos ngayon, gan'yan na?" iritang tanong ni Jin.

Napailing na lang ako. "Bakit ba kayo galit na galit ngayon sa akin? Parang hindi kayo nambababae, ah?"

"Hindi naman 'yun ang punto rito!" bulyaw ni Terrence. "Pare, seryoso na kayo ni Savannah. Hindi naman tama na gan'yan. Niligawan mo 'yung tao tapos noong dumating si Grace, nagkakagan'yan ka na?"

"Wala naman na kasi 'yong kay Grace—"

"Oh, eh bakit ka umiinom ngayon?" tanong ni Jin na parang obvious na obvious na ang sagot sa tanong niya. "Hindi ka iinom nang ganito kaaga kung wala lang si Grace."

Nagbuntonghininga si Aldrin. "Ano ba kasing naramdaman mo noong makita mo ulit si Grace?"

Hindi ako nakasagot. Sa sobrang dami ng naramdaman ko, hindi ko alam kung ano ang una kong sasabihin. Halo-halo ang pakiramdam nang makita ko ulit ang mukha niyang 'yon na minsang pinagpantasyahan ng mga lalaki, pero sa huli, ako ang pinagbigyang magmahal nang malaya.

Seeing her for the first time after years, the first thing that crossed my mind was to run to her and hug her tight. I know for the fact that I loved Savannah but I can't stop myself from thinking that I really did miss her . . . so much.

I wanted to ask how she is, and I wanted to tell her how happy I am to know that she's alive after thinking several times that she's not anymore.

Mahal na mahal ko si Savannah, pero hindi ko kayang balewalain 'yung mga pinagdaanan ko kasama si Grace. Gusto ko lang naman siyang kumustahin, at kung bakit nawala siya na parang bula.

Nagpagamot ba siya? Kung ganoon, saan? Bakit hindi niya ako sinabihan?

"Marami."

"Miss mo?" Jin asked. I nodded. "Tang ina, ang fucked up, bro."

Umiling ako. "It's not. Can we normalize missing the people in our lives without the romance thing because we didn't see them for so many years?"

Terrence scoffed. "Ex mo 'yon. Anong iisipin namin? At isa pa, sa isang taon na karelas'yon mo si Riza, alam naming lahat dito na si Grace pa rin ang mahal mo."

"Pero hindi si Riza si Savannah," sagot ko. "Mahal ko si Savannah. Huwag n'yo namang kwestiyunin 'yung pagmamahal ko sa tao."

Aldrin smirked. "No one questioned your love for her, pare. We questioned your reaction, seeing Grace the first time in years."

Hindi ako nakasagot, dahil tama siya. Hindi naman nila kinukuwest'yon ang pagmamahal ko kay Savannah. Bakit ba 'yon ang sinabi ko?

"O, ikaw ang nagku-kuwest'yon ng pagmamahal mo sa tao?" tanong ni Jin.

Tuluyan na akong hindi nakasagot pa dahil hindi ko na rin alam kung ano ba talaga. Sobrang gulo ng isip ko. Kung magulo noon, mas naging magulo ngayon.

Sa ilang buwan na karelas'yon ko si Savannah, akala ko nakuha ko na 'yung peace of mind ko, kasi hindi na ako nagkakaroon ng déjà vu o kung ano man 'yon. Hindi ko na madalas maranasan 'yung ganoong pangyayari, at hindi ko na nakikita ang mukha ng ibang tao sa kan'ya.

Pero bakit naman ganito ngayon? I had my peace with Savannah. Why is my mind this chaotic again ust because I saw Grace?

No, I know for the fact that I didn't love her anymore. This is one of the surest things I have now. I know that it's Sav now, and it will be Sav until eternity. This one's I know I am sure about.

But I really want to talk to Grace. This is fine, right?

Kinabukasan, maaga akong nagpunta sa bahay ni Savannah. Pinagbuksan niya ako nang may ngiti sa labi, tulad ng palagi niyang ginagawa. Oras na makapasok ako sa loob ng gate, mabilis ko siyang niyakap nang mahigpit.

She chuckled. "You're being clingy first thing in the morning," she said before hugging my waist back. "Magkape ka na muna."

Umiling ako bago nagbuntonghininga at niyakap siya nang mas mahigpit pa. "I want you more than the coffee."

She laughed before breaking the hug. "Tara na sa loob. I have something to show you."

Tumango ako at umakbay sa kan'ya bago kami pumasok sa loob ng bahay niya. Dumiretso kami sa kusina niya at pinanood ko siya na ipagtimpla ako ng kape. Nang matapos, iniabot niya sa akin ang tasa. Kinuha ko 'yon pero ibinaba ko lang din sa countertop at lumapit sa kan'ya para yakapin siya.

She laughed. "What are you being clingy now, for?"

Umiling ako. "Wala naman. I just want to be clingy to you."

"You're a very clingy person, Connor. I hope you know that. But, what about this? You're extra clingy now."

I smiled. "I just want you to know that I'll forever be clingy to you."

She slapped my back slightly before hugging me back. "Alam ko 'yon, though."

"I love you, Savannah. Sobra. This lifetime won't matter without you."

She chuckled again before moving away to give me a soft kiss. "You don't need to always remind me that you love me. I know that."

Tumango ako bago hinawakan ang baywang niya at iniupo siya sa sink. I saw how her face turned bright red with my sudden action.

"What the heck?" She laughed. "Hindi ba ako mahuhulog?"

Umiling ako. "Of course not."

Tumango siya tsaka muling tumawa. "So, what now?"

I shrugged. "I just wanted to kiss you."

"Kiss lang?" she asked, accusing me of something.

I laughed. "Of course! I won't do something more than that without your approval."

She laughed before wrapping her arms around my nape. "Okay, then."

I snaked my right arms around her waist while my left hand is pulling her head back closer to kiss her mouth. My heart almost jumped with the happiness I felt now that I am kissing the lips of the woman I know will be the death of me if I lose.

Her mouth opened, asking my tongue to enter it. I gladly obliged as I pulled her closer to me. I moved my head as I felt her kissing me the way I am kissing her. She's grasping my hair for her strength.

Savvy looked on the ceiling, letting my lips travelled down to her neck. I heard her moan as I started sucking the middle of her neck while her hands are playing with my hair. I felt her legs wrapped around my body which made my member hard.

I really wanted to do it with her but I am just contented with this. This is making me happy already.

"Connor . . ." she moaned.

I let my hands slip inside her tank top, unhooking her brassiere, while my lips are now on her collarbone. I heard repetitive moans as I played with both of her mounds, pinching her nipples. This is driving her insane, I know.

"Connor, I . . ."

I didn't let her talk anymore. I carried her away from the kitchen and brought her to the couch.

"What do you want?" I asked before kissing her neck again.

"Third . . ."

I chuckled in her neck because I know what exactly it is.

"Third base?"

She nodded.

I let my hair travelled to her satin shorts and caressed her femininity in between the clothes she's wearing. She moaned with my simple act, so I kissed her lips again. I repeatedly caressed it while kissing her as I felt her hugging my tight.

"You're wet," I said in between the kisses.

She broke the kiss. "I-I know . . ." She looked away. "I've never done this before, but . . ."

She looked at me. And with the way she do that, I know what she's about to ask.

"How does it feel to have sex without having sex?"

__

"We see dreams as the reflection of our unconscious mind and repetitive dreams as signifying trauma, fears and issues that our brain hasn't been able to resolve. But many people also claim, repetitive dreams related to which you have not experienced anything in your present are actually related to your past. Going to a specific place that seems very familiar but you feel you haven't ever walked there, may also be something from your past." — timesofindia.indiatimes.com