"Whatever you say. I won't come with you," Savannah said on the screen of her laptop before shutting it. Naupo ako sa tabi niya at ibinaba ang juice niya sa gilid ng laptop. "Sorry about that."

I shrugged. "It's okay. It's your dad."

She smirked before drinking her juice. "I don't fucking care."

Nahiga siya sa couch na ipinatong ang ulo sa kandungan ko, bago niya ibinaba sa center table ang baso. Ipinikit niya ang mga mata niya bago siya nagbuntonghininga.

"That man really sucks. He loved mama but he made her a mistress. I don't get his fucking point about that. Mama died blaming herself for that."

I nodded before planting a kiss on her lips that made her eyes open. "Don't think about that too much."

"Why?"

I shrugged. "You're stressing yourself out."

She smirked. "I really wanted to stop thinking about that but he's still my father, though. At hanggang hindi ko pa kayang tumayo sa sarili kong mga paa, I can never leave."

She sighed again before taking her phone in her pocket. "Tingnan mo nga, sino kamukha ko?"

Ipinakita niya ang picture ng mama at papa niyang kuha sa magkaibang lugar at oras, dahil naka-collage lang 'yon. Salit-salitan ang tingin ko sa dalawang litratong 'yon, at nang mapagtanto ko kung sino ang kamukha niya, ayaw ko na lang sumagot.

She scoffed. "Hindi ba? Kahit na anong gawin kong huwag siyang isipin, kung kapag makikita ko ang sarili ko sa salamin, makikita ko rin ang wangis niya sa akin. Wala rin," she shrugged before sliding the next photo and showed it to me. "Look at this. Nga pala. I am making a portrait for ours."

Bumangon siya at ipinakita sa akin ang work in progress niyang painting. Picture naming dalawa 'yon na ni-paint niya. I chuckled as I realized that it is the first time she made something like this for us.

"Ang pogi naman ng lalaki."

She laughed before getting the phone back from my hands. "Of course, I won't get a boyfriend that won't suit my taste."

I laughed. "I don't have a talent to share with you, but I can build a house for the both of us."

She smiled before pinching my cheek. "Thanks for that but I want to live here."

Napangiti na lang ako nang maliit. Of course, she won't live anywhere but her Mom's dream house. I totally know about that. Isa pa, malaki rin naman ang bahay na 'to.

"Do you want to marry me in the future?" she suddenly asked.

I laughed. "Oo naman! I'm almost proposing to you everyday but of course, I know that we're too young for that. I really won't want to live my life with someone if it's not with you, though."

She chuckled. "Mahal na mahal mo ako, ah?"

I laughed before pinching both of her cheeks and kissed her lips repeatedly. "Mahal na mahal na mahal."

She laughed before wrapping her arms around my nape and smiled. "Then, is it okay for you if you'll live in this house?"

I smiled, nodding. "Kahit sa kariton, basta kasama kita, walang problema." Tumawa siya sa sinabi kong 'yon. "Pero hindi ko hahayaang mangyari 'yon. Isa pa, malaki at kumportable naman ang bahay na 'to para sa atin at sa pamilyang mabubuo natin."

Again, she smiled, but this time, her eyes watered. "Thank you."

Bahagya kong naigalaw ang ulo ko sa pagtataka. "For what?"

She shrugged, her arms still wrapped around my nape. "For thinking about your future with me. It's making me happy so much, that my heart aches for too much happiness." She chuckled slightly. "I've never felt this way before."

I nodded. "You deserved more than that. It's still not enough for me. I want to give you the best of both worlds."

She chuckled. "Both worlds . . ." she rolled her eyes at me. "You don't even believe in multiple universes."

I held her waist tighter and pulled her closer to me, kissing her lips thoroughly, before answering her statement.

"I now believe."

She smiled again before leaning closer and be the one to claim my lips. I pulled her waist closer to me and kissed her back. I felt her hands guided mine to go and play with her mounds, and so I did.

And we ended up sleeping on the couch without doing something more than that.

With Savannah, I realized that there's no need to have sex just to prove someone that you love each other. That, a woman doesn't need to sacrifice her purity just so she could prove him how much she loves her.

With her, I can feel so loved just by planning the future together.

With her, all I wanted was to watch her paint what's on her mind.

With her, all I ever asked was to see her smile.

And then, I can feel loved.

***

Enrolment week came.

I quickly finished my enrolment online but Savannah had a hard time shifting her course.

"Ang daming lalakarin. Feeling ko mali-late ako sa pagkuha ng schedule," she sighed as we walked the pathway to the registrar office. "I'm sorry, Connor. Naaabala pa kita."

Tumawa ako bago kinuha sa kamay niya ang mga papel na dadalhin niya sa registrar. Nabubunggo na namin ang ibang mga estudyanteng dumaraan din sa pathway habang nagkukwentuhan pero hindi na inisip pa ni Savannah 'yon dahil hanggang ngayon, hindi pa siya tapos magpasa ng mga follow-up requirements.

Pumasok siya sa loob ng office ng registrar habang nasa labas lang ako, naghihintay sa kan'ya. Ilang minuto pa siyang nagtagal doon. Pakiramdam ko nga, isang oras siyang nanatili ro'n, bago lumabas.

Nagbuga siya ng malalim na buntonghininga tsaka ngumiti.

"Okay na. Bayad na lang ako sa cashier," she said.

Ngumiti ako sa kan'ya bago ginulo ang buhok niya. Naglakad na kami papalapit sa cashier at nakitang may mahaba pa ring pila. Hindi ko siya iniwan at ako na ang nagpayong sa kan'ya habang nakapila kami ro'n.

"Grabe naman, ang haba ng pila," reklamo niya habang pinapaypayan ang sarili.

Kinuha ko ang panyo sa bulsa ko at pinunasan nang marahan ang mga pawis sa noo at leeg niya. "It's alright, malapit ka naman na."

Tumawa siya tsaka ini-stretch and braso para ipakita anga mahabang pila bago makarating sa kan'ya. "Huwag ka ngang ano d'yan, napakarami pa!"

I laughed. "Bukas ka na magbayad? Umaga?" I asked, wiggling my eyebrows while smiling.

Hinampas niya ang tiyan ko bago sumagot. "I know what that wiggle means!" She laughed. "I just wanted to get this over and done with, so I can have my remaining two weeks of a vacation peacefully."

I chuckled before wrapping my arms around her waist. "Kidding. Of course, we will finish this today."

Nagkwentuhan kami tungkol sa portrait na ginagawa niya na picture naming dalawa. Sabi niya, malapit na raw matapos at excited na siyang i-frame 'yon para daw mai-display ko na sa condo ko.

"Ayaw mo sa bahay mo?" tanong ko habang humahakbang kami papalapit dahil nababawasan na ang nakapila.

"Hindi na. Sa condo mo na. Ang pangit ng k'warto mo, wala man lang painting." We both laughed at the truth she said. "Ang dami ko na rin namang painting sa bahay. I can make another one for myself if I want to."

I smiled and kiss her temple. "Thank you, babe."

Humaba pa nang humaba ang kwentuhan hanggang sa hindi na namin namalayan na siya na pala ang magbabayad. I waited for her patiently while talking to the cashier. Few minutes later, she went to me with a smile on her face, waving her receipt at me.

"Last. Certificate of Registration."

I nodded before putting my arms around her shoulder as we went to the last window for her COR. She was talking about something as we walked there; while I was just busy listening and watching her tell me things about that.

Nang makarating kami sa harap ng kuhanan ng COR, napahinto siya sa paglalakad at pagsasalita. Napalingon ako sa kan'ya at nakita kong walang kahit na anong mababakas na emos'yon sa mukha niya. Pormal lang siyang nakatingin sa nasa harap niya.

Tiningnan ko ang tinitingnan niya. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko, kasabay ng pagbagsak ng kamay kong nakahawak sa balikat niya, nang makita ko ang isang babaeng ilang taon ko nang hindi nakikita, inaayos ang mga papeles sa loob ng envelop niya.

Ang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko; pakiramdam ko, aatakihin na ako sa kaba ngayong nasa harap ko siya. Hindi pa man din kami nito nakikita, pakiramdam ko, gusto kong lapitan siya at yakapin.

I missed her, but I don't know why there's something missing with what I am feeling now. Is it because I don't love her the same way anymore?

"Grace is here."

Napalingon ako kay Savannah at nakita kong nakatingin lang siya sa akin. Hindi ko maintindihan kung ano itong nararamdaman ko ngayon, pero may kakaiba sa mga mata ni Savannah ngayon.

Ibinalik ko ang tingin kay Grace. Maglalakad na sana siya paalis nang mapahinto rin nang makita ako. Bahagya siyang ngumiti bago naglakad papalapit sa amin ni Savannah, dahilan para mapaatras ako ng ilang hakbang.

Grace chuckled before stopping in front of us. "Nice to see you again, Connor."

Her face still looked very beautiful. I have so many things that I wanted to do right now with her, but I don't know what those are.

"Is she your girlfriend?"

Lumingon siya kay Savannah na ngayon ay nakatingin lang din sa kan'ya. Hindi pa rin ako makasagot. Nakita ko kung paano siya maglahad ng kamay sa kan'ya.

"I'm Grace Amélie." She smiled. "Connor's ex-girlfriend."

Savannah smiled casually at her before accepting her hand.

"Savannah Greene. Nice to finally meet you."

___

"There is another explanation related to déjà vu called dream based experience. In this situation we can dream of situations, people, places or events only to find them materialize into reality, at some point in the future. Most of the research suggests that we initially forget these memories after dreaming and only once we experience them in real life do we remember them..." — elephantjournal.com