"I told you I don't believe in that," I said.

She looked at me before chuckling. "I know. I'm sorry. I'm really that invested about past lives and parallel universe." I sighed as I saw her wiped her tears. "Sorry, naiyak ako."

I smiled before pulling her closer to me. Ipinatong niya ang ulo sa dibdib ko at yumakap sa akin pabalik.

"Hindi ako naniniwala sa gano'n at kung totoo man 'yon, kung totoo man na may parallel universe, ikaw ang mahal ko sa mundong 'to. Another world or another universe will never matter to me, as long as you are mine right here, right now. And if there's a reality about past lives, it all stops there. Kung hindi ikaw ang minahal ko nang ganito noong panahong 'yon, ikaw at ikaw na lang ang mamahalin ko nang ganito sa panahong ito, at sa mga susunod pa."

Tumango siya bago nagbuntonghininga. "I'm sorry, Con. I love you."

Napangiti ako kasabay ng pagpikit ko, bago ko siya niyakap nang mas mahigpit at hinalikan sa ulo. Sobrang dalang ko marinig sa kan'ya ang mga salitang 'yon, kaya naman sa tuwing sinasabi niya 'yon, lagi kong dinadama . . . lagi kong sinusulit.

"I told you there are things that are not really likeable about me. I'm immature, and get pretty invested with all these weird things that only few people believed. Do you still love me?"

I chuckled before facing her. "More reasons to love you better."

She smiled before closing her eyes and hugged me tighter. "I'll make myself better."

When the sun finally reaches its peak and it's giving the hot sunlight to us, we left and went home to her place, to sleep.

~~~

"Someone's following me again."

I sighed as I looked at Grace and she's panicking now. Her hands are shaking and her face looks like it lost all of her blood.

"Walang sumusunod sa atin, Grace," I assured her.

"No!" she screamed. "I heard that fucking voice! That same fucking voice that follows me even to my sleep!"

Umiling ako bago siya niyakap. "Walang sumusunod, Grace. Wala."

Umiyak siya nang umiyak sa dibdib ko habang yakap ko siya nang mahigpit. Ilang sandali pa, nagmadali siyang kumalas sa yakap at iniharang sa akin ang sarili niyang katawan na para bang pino-protektahan ako.

"Huwag si Connor, please!"

I was dumbfounded. She spread her arms wide, shaking like she's very scared of something that she is seeing—hearing rather.

"Please, huwag si Connor!!!"

Umiyak siya nang umiyak, at wala akong magawa kung hindi panoorin siyang magmakaawa sa kung sino, na huwag ako. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang sinasabi niya, at kung tungkol saan, pero natatakot na ako ngayon.

"Huwag mong sasaktan si Connor, please!!!"

Mabilis na tumulo ang mga luha ko nang sinabi niya 'yon, bago ko siya hinila paharap sa akin para yakapin nang mahigpit.

"Sasaktan ka niya!" sigaw ni Grace habang humihikbi. "Sasaktan ka niya, Connor! Hindi pwede. Hindi... hindi ka pwedeng masaktan!"

Lumakas pa nang lumakas ang iyak niya habang yakap-yakap ko siya nang mahigpit. Wala akong magawa. Takot na takot ako para sa kalagayan niya, kasi alam ko sa sarili ko, hindi na 'to normal.

Ang taong mahal ko . . . hindi na normal.

~~~

"Grace . . ."

"Connor?"

Mabilis akong nagmulat ng mga mata nang marinig ko ang pagtawag sa akin ni Savannah. Nakita ko siyang nakayuko sa akin, nakabagsak sa gilid ang mahaba at kulay brown na buhok. Kitang-kita ko sa kan'ya ang pag-aalala.

"Nananaginip ka ulit."

Pinunasan niya ang gilid ng mga mata ko, kasabay ng pagpunas niya sa noo at leeg ko. Bumangon ako mula sa pagkakahiga at niyakap ko siya nang mahigpit.

"Did you have a dream about her again?"

I sighed, nodding, as I closed my eyes. "Yes."

I heard her sigh. "Is it the same thing?"

Umiling ako. "Pero nangyari na dati. Napanaginipan ko lang."

Kumalas siya sa yakap at pinunasan ang mga pawis ko. Muli ko lang siyang niyakap.

"Payakap muna."

She sighed before hugging me back. "What happened? It looks like you had a bad dream."

Umiling ako. "The same thing that's happening to her frequently."

"Ohh, auditory hallucination?" she asked while slightly patting my back. I nodded. "What did she do in your dream? That time na girlfriend mo siya?"

I sighed as I hugged her tighter. "She's protecting me from someone only she could see or hear. Inihaharang niya sarili niya sa kung sino, paulit-ulit na sinasabing huwag si Connor. Nagmamakaawa." I sighed again for the nth time. "She was very scared I don't know what it is that made her like that."

She rubbed my back, trying to comfort me. "She loves you so much." I almost stopped my breathing with what she said. "Kung ano man 'yung nasa hallucinations niya na 'yun, she must've been scared with it that she protected you like that."

"But there's nothing . . ."

Kumalas siya sa yakap at tumingin sa mga mata ko. She smiled before she talked again.

"We can never tell what image they are hallucinating that time. Mentally unstable people must not be forced to believe that what they believe isn't real. We must understand them first. Grace is not stable. She's suffering from schizophrenia. Did you ask her to come to doctor and have herself checked?"

I gulped down as I looked down, remembering the days she went mad at me.

~~~

"Don't you want to try and get a therapy?" I asked Grace, caressing her hands to calm her down.

It's been weeks since she started screaming, trying to protect me from something that I couldn't see or even hear. Ngayon lang ako nagkaroon ng lakas ng loob na magtanong sa kan'ya ng tungkol dito.

"Therapy for what?" she asked, confused.

"Y-Your condition."

"What condition?"

I gulped down again, and face her completely. Kitang-kita ko na sa mga mata niya ang namumuong galit niya. Siguro, unti-unti nang naiintindihan ang mga sinasabi ko.

"You're not fine."

"I am!" she screamed as she stood up.

I took her hand and asked her to sit. "Maupo ka, please . . ."

She sat down, looking so angry at me. "What made you think I am not fine?! Alam ko kung tungkol saan 'yan!"

"Shh, Grace . . ." I held her hand again. "I'm just asking you if you want to go to clinic and have yourself checked by a professional psychiatrist. Hindi kita pinipilit . . ."

Mabilis na tumulo ang mga luha niya matapos kong sabihin 'yon.

"Professional psychiatrist . . ." she said, slightly nodding, unable to believe what she just heard. "Nababaliw na ba ako para sa 'yo?"

Napakunot ako ng noo sa sinabi niyang 'yon. "What? No! I just want to make sure that you're fine—"

"I said I am fine!" she screamed as she stood up again. Her eyes are red, looking so angry at me. "Hindi mo kayang maniwala sa akin? Eh 'di huwag kang maniwala! Hindi kita niloloko! Kapag sinabi kong okay lang ako, okay lang ako—"

"Pero sinasaktan mo ang sarili—"

"It doesn't hurt!" she shouted again. "I said it doesn't hurt, Connor! Hindi 'yon masakit! Okay lang ako! Ano bang pinipilit mo pa d'yan?! If you still don't believe, fucking leave me alone and let me live without your stupid accusations!"

She turned her back on me and I was left there, unable to call told her words.

Did she just . . . break up with me?

~~~

I sighed as I wiped my face with both of my hands, feeling the pain in my chest.

"She's not fine."

I nodded. "Yes."

Naupo si Savannah sa gilid ko, nakasandal ang ulo sa pader.

"Did she breakup with you that time?" she asked.

I looked at her and her eyes are looking straight at what's in front of us. "She did."

"Did you two make it up?"

I laughed. "Of course. I would not let a day to pass us by without fixing what needs to be fixed."

She smiled again, slightly nodding. "You've got yourself a one great love in your past."

I couldn't answer that one because I know that what Grace and I shared when we were together was something I will never, ever, forget. What we shared was very deep. Hindi sapat na dahilan na bata pa kami noon para sabihing mababaw ang pinagsamahan namin, kasi hindi.

I pulled her closer to me and hugged her tight.

"But I got my one true and greater love right here in my arms. A person I'll never, ever, let go until the end of this lifetime. She might be my first and one great love, but you'll always be my last and one true and greatest love. I promise to last this love I have for you to lifetime."

She sighed before hugging me back.

"I can't lose you anymore," she whispered. "I'm scared."

"Why would you feel scared? You won't lose me."

She smiled. "What if she comes back?"

I gulped, and think for an answer. "What?"

"What if she comes back? Will you still be mine?"

I smiled. "Of course. I'm all yours the moment you flicked my cigarette out of my mouth."

And she laughed before kissing me.

___

"One theory worth exploring is that this phenomenon is a message from your higher self. What if your cosmic self is recalling a memory from a previous life? This moment can be a powerful, miraculous glimpse into your own soul if you are aware enough to notice it. This experience can help you in your current emotional healing if you are mindful enough to recognize it. Your soul on the subconscious level may be sending messages to your conscious mind. These messages may be the very same déjà vu moments you are experiencing..." — deborahking.com