Saturday, August 1st, 2020

My bags land against the floorboards with a thud. The entryway had been completely cleaned. I didn't want to think about what it had looked like the last time I was here.

It was weird to be back. I was happy to be home but it felt eerie now. I couldn't help but stare at the corner where Aubrey had stared back at me, unblinking.

"Let me help you with those," mum said, bringing me out of my daze.

"Thanks," I reply numbly as she grabs my bags and walks off towards my room.

My eyes flicker against the wall, noticing the fresh plastered ceiling, the bullet holes no longer present.

I'd just been discharged from hospital. Spending almost a month out of a coma in that bed was suffocating. I'd only ever left the room to have my daily walks and that was barely enough.

I follow mum into my room gingerly, leaning against the doorframe. It still hurt to walk, but I was getting there.

Dad had stepped up his hours at work because mum wanted to become my full time carer whilst I was in the hospital. I loved her but I knew it was partially because of what happened to Nix. She was afraid that she'd almost lost me so she had to take more care of me now.

She starts pulling at my duvet, smoothing out any small lumps. The bed has already been made perfectly. I wonder if this was something she did all the time now when she came home from the hospital at night.

"Mum," I smile. She looks up at me, fluffing my pillows. "Mum. It's all good."

She sighs, sitting down on the bed. "I know. It's just been so quiet in this house for over two months. I'm so glad you're home now."

Some of my things were still packed up in boxes, sitting idly against the wall. For some reason, I didn't feel the need to unpack them.

"We've sold Nix's car," mum blurts. My breath catches and I watch her, surprised.

"I'm sorry, Lon," tears swim in her eyes. "I was just trying to go back to normal and pretend that...I don't know. I'm sorry that I dragged you into it."

"No, it's okay," I nod. "I get that you just wanted things to seem normal. But, thank you. Thank you for selling it."

"Of course," she nods. "Oh, and when you get a chance, you might want to check the garage."

I drive my new car over to meet Harry. He had texted me earlier, wanting to meet. After I park, I text him to know that I'm out front. I bite nervously at my cuticles, waiting for his reply.

Just because Harry had forgiven me, didn't mean I thought his family ever would. Especially his aunt and uncle. I was okay with that because I understood. My brother had taken away their child. The person they'd raised since birth. They'd never get him back.

His name pops up on the screen, and I bite my lip. "Hello?"

"Hey," Harry's voice carries down the line, sending chills down my back.

"I'm out the front," I say nervously, watching his house.

"Come in," he says it so nonchalantly and I try to calm my beating heart.

"I don't know, Harry. I don't want to upset your family."

"Just come in, Lon," he says, reassuringly. I go to speak again but the line goes quiet. He hung up on me.

"Crap," I mutter, gripping my seatbelt as I unbuckle it.

I didn't think I could do this. I didn't think I'd be able to look them in the eye knowing that they knew the truth. Nonetheless, I open my car door tentatively, stepping out into the chilly air. I shut the door carefully, wary that my parents had bought me a new car that I didn't want to scratch.

I shuffle up the footpath. I could feel a slight headache coming on but the doctors had reassured me it was normal after having major surgery. Instinctively, I reach up to feel the shaved patch of my hair from the surgery. But I remember that I tied it up in a messy bun in order to cover it up.

I raise my hands to knock against the door but my fist stops midair. I bite my lip, squeezing my eyes shut. "You can do this," I reassure myself.

I knock twice and step back, clasping my hand together. I hear feet pattering down the hallway from inside and I gulp. Who was going to answer?

I relax an inch when I see that it's Harry. He smiles, pulling me into a kiss. He pulls me against him, his arm landing on the small of his back.

"We should go inside," he claps my hand, squeezing it gently. "They really want to see you."

"Harry, I don't know if—"

"Hey," he cups my cheek, his thumb skimming along my skin. "I love you. That's all that matters here. Besides, you should hear what they have to say first."

I nod slowly, letting Harry pull me in behind him. He doesn't let go of my arm until we've made it into the kitchen. Everyone is seated at the dining table, chatting amongst themselves. Harry's parents, Jacqueline and Matthew. And...

Oh god. John and Maria. Liam's parents.

The chatter stops and all eyes turn to me.

"I should—"

Harry clasps my hand before I can turn away. "Lon. It's okay. Let them talk."

Tears spring into my eyes but I nod, turning back to them. As much as this made me uncomfortable, I needed to do it. I needed to do it for Liam. An explanation was the least his family deserved.

"Hello, Lonnie," Jacqueline speaks, waving me forward. "Come and have a seat, honey."

I walk over tentatively, my eyes glued to the table. Harry places a reassuring hand on my back, guiding me towards a seat. He takes a seat next to me, his arm casually hanging against the back of my chair. But nothing about it is casual. He brushes the back of my neck lightly and goosebumps rise on my skin.

"We're so glad that you're alright," Jacqueline's eyes fill with concern. I don't expect it. I was expecting repulsion or anger.

"If it wasn't for Harry..." I begin, resting an arm against his. "He restarted my heart."

In more ways than one.

Jacqueline's eyes fill with tears. "Our Harry would do anything to protect the one's he loves."

Maria and Jacqueline both outstretch their hands towards me. They reach out for mine and I slowly clasp onto them.

"We want you to know," Maria's voice quavers as she stares at me. It's almost too much to bare but I won't cower from them. They deserved more than that.

"We all want you to know that as much as it was hard at first, we do not blame you, Lonnie. Harry was able to show us how incredibly kind you are," she finishes.

I'm bawling, shaking my head. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I never knew...my brother he...I never saw that side to him."

Maria let's out a strangled sound, shaking her head. "We understand, Lonnie. You never caused us this pain. Liam...Liam lost his life because of someone else's actions. You could never be blamed for that."

I stare at them all, numbly. How could I have stumbled upon the most generous people on earth? No one was this forgiving in Winterville. Bakley was my home now. A place that welcomed me. Every single part of me.

"I remember him," I whisper. "I remember Liam. At school. He was...his smile lit up the room. My best friend was practically in love with him at one point in time. He was just like that. Loveable. Kind. Generous."

John places his arm around Maria as she begins to cry softly. She leans into his shoulder, burying her face against his chest.

"If I could go back in time, I would—"

"But you can't," Jacqueline says sternly. "You can't. Don't think like that."

"I know," I nod. Harry runs his fingers over my back soothingly. "I understand that now."

We sit like that for awhile longer. Everyone holding each other, reminiscing. It wasn't something I ever thought I'd get. Forgiveness. Understanding.

I didn't know I'd needed it from Liam's family but I did. I needed it more than anything.

And now, everything felt...different.

Good different.