Sunday, July 5th, 2020

I dream of Harry.

He's standing in front of me. Wisps of his brown hair floating across his face, covering his eyes. He's smiling at me, reaching out. The sun is blinding behind him, the fresh smell of the grass tickling my senses.

"Lonnie."

"Lonnie."

"Lonnie."

My eyes snap open, searching the dark room. The curtains are drawn. The slightest amount of moonlight creeps on through, shading the floor.

I cough, clenching my fists to fight the pain. My bandages were changed today. I was able to see the healing scar on my stomach. A small line where the bullet punctured my skin, luckily missing all my vital organs. The bandage around my head from my operation proved to me my worst fear. I had a patch of my hair shaved off. It had only just started to grow back, a small fuzz like Asher's buzz cut.

I cough again and notice movement in the chair next to my bed. I reach for the lamp on the bedside table, turning it on to illuminate their face. Harry's head is slumped to one side, resting against the head of the armchair. He's staring off into space, his tired eyes blinking. When he sees the light turn on, he jumps in his seat, clenching the arm rests.

"Scared ya," I whisper, smiling softly at him.

His eyes glisten with tears. I extend my hand toward him and he grips it tightly.

"You have no idea," he croaks, wiping his eyes furiously.

Harry clasps my hand against his forehead. He lets out a shaky breath, his shoulders slumping. "One month of not knowing if you'd ever wake up. Not knowing if I'd ever get to tell you that I'm not angry."

"What?"

"I don't blame you. I never would. I promised you nothing would scare me away and I meant it."

"Oh," my heart hammers loudly in my chest.

"You are your own person, Lonnie. I would never define who you are by your brother."

My stomach swarms with butterflies. I squeeze his hand twice. He looks up at me and I wipe the tears from his eyes. Harry's reassurance made me feel lighter. I'd never loved him more than in this very moment.

I grunt, scooting over on the bed. "Come here."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"Then don't," I raise an eyebrow, patting the spot next to me on the bed.

He seems to think about it for a moment before sitting beside me. He's all tense but when I touch his arm, he relaxes slightly.

"You can lie down. You aren't going to break me," I joke.

"I know that. I just...I know how— how injured you are."

He lies down next to me, sharing me pillow. I can't turn on my side without gripping my abdomen in pain, but I turn my head to look at him. He's on his side, eyes focused on me. He watches me closely, like he's afraid I might disappear.

A stray tear leaves his eye and I wipe it away. "Hey," I say sternly. "I'm not going anywhere. Thanks to you. If you hadn't have been there...well, I don't think I'd be here."

"You died in my arms," he whispers, his eyes full of anguish and heartbreak. "You're heart stopped. I thought...I thought..."

"Harry Coleman," I move strands of hair from his eyes, tucking them behind his ear. "I'm alive. And I love you."

He stills, his eyes searching my face. "You...love...me," he repeats slowly, like he's having trouble understanding the words.

"Yes, you adorable idiot," I grin. "How could I not?"

"Can you just repeat that?" He grins brightly, sitting up against his arms. He leans over me, brushing my hair away from my face.

"I love you, Coleman."

He leans down, his lips caressing mine. It starts off soft and slow, his lips gently moving against mine. My hand reaches up to rest against the back of his head. I pull him closer, deepening the kiss. Our lips part and I sigh quietly. I felt so alive. Every cell in my body was buzzing. He keeps his weight off me, terrified that he's going to hurt me.

"Harry," I moan, resting my hand against his t-shirt. His muscles ripple against my hand as I drag it lower. I play with the hem of his t-shirt, dragging it up so that I can feel his skin against me.

"Fuck," he whispers. He kisses me more urgently, pulling at my lower lip.

"God, I love you," he sighs in between kisses. "I've never wanted to love and protect someone so much in my god damn life. But I know you're it for me, Hall. You're it."

Butterflies erupt in my stomach as I smile up at him, astonished that I had been so lucky to meet him. I pull him back in to kiss me, our tongues dancing in sync. He groans and I pull at his shirt, wanting him closer to me, against me.

He pulls away, cupping my cheek. "We can't. I really don't want to hurt you."

I sigh, nodding. "Okay."

"Trust me," he laughs, "god do I want to, but...here? I really don't think we should be going any further in a hospital."

"We have plenty of time," I agree, play with his hair. "We have all the time in the world."

"I won't let anyone hurt you again, Lon," he suddenly whispers. "I don't think I could— I don't think I could take the thought of ever losing you again."

"You won't," I reassure him. "I'm here for good. You know all there is to know about me. No more secrets."

"No more secrets," he agrees, linking his hand with mine.

"Alright lovebirds, break it up!"

My head whips to the doorway and I laugh, happy tears welling up in my eyes. "You're here."

"Of course I'm here," Kennedy strides towards me, kissing my forehead and clasping my free hand. "We are all here."

Cooper, Asher and Sydney all walk into the room. Asher is holding a bunch of roses, Sydney has a giant stuffed teddy.

"Shit, Hall. You really gave us quite a scare," Asher breathes, wracking a hand over his buzzed head.

"You can say that again," Cooper agrees.

Sydney rushes forward, pouting. Her eyes fill with tears as she sees me. "We really missed you. We really thought that we would never get to say that you will always be our best friend. Nothing will change that."

Asher places the flowers in the empty vase sitting on the bedside table. Sydney places the teddy at the end of my bed.

"You, guys," I sniff. "I don't deserve you."

"Shut up, Lon," they all chorus.

"Holy shit! I swear we didn't plan that!" Asher cracks up. Everyone begins to laugh and I do too, not caring about the pain.

Right now, all that mattered was that my best friends were here. Oh, and the love of my life, of course.