Saturday, July 4th, 2020

I sleep more than I wake.

The doctors tell me it's normal to sleep 16 hours a day because of the strain on my body but it's frustrating. I can hardly stay coherent for more than an hour.

Despite this, mum had been able to fill me in on everything that I had missed. My parents had decided to extend the lease on our house in Bakley for another six months. Mum turned down the job near the city. She wanted to stay as close as she could to me. For now, we were staying. I didn't know if that was a permanent thing but I felt relieved.

I'd missed plenty of school but mum had been having regular meetings with my principal about how I could graduate this year without repeating. It was possible but I'd have to work hard and would most likely be finishing after everyone else. But graduating this year was all that mattered.

The police came by last night. They spoke to me about Aubrey for an hour. What happened, how it happened. It was tough to have to speak to them again. It reminded me of Nix.

I blink to clear my blurred vision, accomodating to the early morning light. Mum was speaking animatedly over by the window with my doctor. She was nodding vigorously, taking in every word.

I pull myself up, clenching my teeth. Everything aches. My brain was always throbbing, no matter how strong my pain killers were.

"Good morning," mum says, striding over time me with determination.

"Morning," I mumble, wiping my eyes.

"Doctor Anderson said everything is going well. You're recovering at a good pace."

"That's reassuring," I smile softly.

"How are you feeling?" Doctor Anderson smiles. She scrutinises my vitals as she talks.

"Sore," I croak.

"Unfortunately that is normal, Lonnie. Your body has suffered through a great ordeal."

I nod, my attention drawn to the window. Rain was beginning to trickle down. The sun was behind the clouds.

"I'll come by later on," Mrs Anderson says. My mum thanks her before she walks out.

"So," mum says, perching on the end of my bed diligently. "There's someone here who's been wanting to see you."

"Who?" I rasp.

Before she can answer, a man who seems to be in his early thirties wheels in a lady carrying a newborn baby.

"Oh my god," I smile. "Mrs Thornbury?"

The man accidentally wheels her into my bed and she throws him a glance. "Thanks for that, Scott."

"Anytime," he grins, pulling her to a stop beside my bed.

"Sal's been wanting to see you for the past two days," mum smiles, wrapping Scott in a hug.

"This is Scott," Mrs Thornbury introduces her husband. I wave awkwardly and he smiles.

Mum had clearly gotten close to my counsellor and her family. She bends down to make gooey eyes at the baby.

"It's a girl," Mrs Thornbury speaks, lightly brushing the babies nose.

"What's her name?" I sit up higher, clenching my teeth. My abdomen protests but I fight against it.

"Evi," Mrs Thornbury stands up slowly. Scott stands close to her in case she needs to sit back down. "Evi Rose Thornbury."

"She's a few weeks early but the doctors are happy with how healthy she is. I should be allowed to take her home soon."

"That's great news," I watch Evi as she sleeps peacefully in her mother's arms.

"Would you like to hold her?" Mrs Thornbury asks gently, holding her out towards me. I tentatively outstretch my arms.

She coos softly, her cute little button nose making me swoon.

"She's beautiful," I admire this little bundle of joy in my arms, rocking her gently.

"How are you feeling?" Mrs Thornbury sits back in the wheelchair, sighing.

"I'm okay," I answer, my attention fixated on Evi. I loved kids. Always have, always will. There was something so magical about them, especially newborns. They were innocent and kind and saw the world in a completely different way to an adult.

"When I heard what happened, I just..."

"It's not your fault," I interject softly. "No one could've known she'd do that."

"I thought when she was suspended that it would have helped. I didn't think—"

"Mrs Thornbury—"

"Sal," she corrects.

"Sal. Didn't you once tell me to stop living in the past? We can't change what happened to me. I'm fine, really. I'm alive."

She smiles at me, admiration clear in her expression. "Touché, Lonnie. Who's the counsellor now?"

Evi coos again. Her tiny hand is wrapped around my pointer finger.

"Actually, recently, before all this happened anyway, I was thinking about what I might do after high school."

"Yeah?"

"I'm thinking clinical psychology? I don't know. I want to help others. The way you helped me."

She smiles, wheeling her chair closer to me. "Promise me one thing, though."

"What?"

"Don't become a school counsellor. It's shit pay and you're over worked."

I laugh at her, pain spreading through my stomach. I clamp my mouth shut but cover up the pain with a small smile. "You love it though."

"Of course I do," she agrees. "But I'm warning you, don't get attached. Become a hotshot psychologist who has their own office and makes loads of money. Don't be me."

"Do you regret becoming a school counsellor?"

She shakes her head. "Yes and no. I absolutely love my job but I could have been something more. Just like I know you will be."

Evi begins to cry softly. "I think someone might be a bit hungry," Sal speaks.

I give little Evi back to Sal, watching the exchange. She was definitely meant to be a mother.

"I better let you rest."

"I better let you rest. You just pushed a baby out your chacha two days ago," I correct.

She snorts, laughing loudly. My mum stares at me like I've just grown another head but laughs regardless. Scott tries to hide his smile.

"What?" I smile, my eyes flickering between them.

"Nothing, Lon," mum laughs. "It's just good to have you back."