Soundtrack for this chapter:
Canon in D—Pachelbel
Believer—Imagine Dragons
Second Chance—Shinedown

6

Theo

It confused me to no end as to how she could make me want to rip my fucking hair out and kiss the life out of her at the same time. Jules was the most frustratingly beautiful and stealthily guarded woman I'd ever met, and I didn't know if I should run after her or forget everything about her. Yet who was I fooling but myself? There wasn't the slightest chance I'd forget about her, and I was fairly certain she wouldn't forget me either. I simply had to wait.

It wouldn't have been right for me to chase after her. I could tell that she wasn't someone who wanted the chase. She'd want to be the one to make the decision to seek me out. I kept telling myself that she knew where I lived, that maybe this game would end in a surprise twist where she was the one to come knocking on my door. But no matter how many times I told myself this, I didn't believe it any more than the last.

The wall that was built around her the night I ran into her in the park hadn't been there the night she came home with me. If it had been, I can't imagine that she would've been so ready to go back to mine.

She also seemed to have crafted this perception of the kind of person I was that irritated the shit out of me, mainly because it wasn't all that accurate. My pride wanted to show her how wrong she was; my heart wanted to show her that if she just gave me a chance, something could develop between us.

When I got home the night after she kissed me and ran, no one else was around. On my way to the stairs, I passed the piano we'd acquired after my grandma moved into a nursing home. Mom and dad kept it at their house until Dan and I bought ours, but I hadn't touched it once since moving in.

I sat at the bench and opened the hood covering the keys. The second my fingers set down on them, muscle memory took over, and they started playing out Pachelbel's Canon in D as if they were making the most natural movements in the world. I got about thirty seconds in before I pulled my hands from the keys.

Flashes of my twenty-second year came back. The dust, the heat, the blood; the feeling as if all of the air in my lungs had been ripped out. During my recovery, in between trips to the physical therapist, I took up the piano.

"No drumming until you're fully healed," the doctor said.

That pissed me off. I wanted to slam out my frustration, my irritability, my anger against the skin of the drums, but the sharp movements could jeopardize my long term recovery they said, potentially keep me from fully healing; a whole lot of good that advice did.

The day I was told I'd never be able to fill a combat position again was the second worst day of my life. My parents looked at it as a blessing, everyone did; they didn't understand that I didn't join the military to waste away on a base for my entire enlistment.

I brought my hands back to the keys and finished out the song. Playing the piano had been my recourse for every emotion I was unable to express during that time; it was the only thing that kept me sane.

***

Almost a week after my second encounter with Jules, my brothers and I sat down to dinner together, but Aiden scarfed down a plate and whipped out the door to meet his friends before Dan and I had gotten halfway through the meal. I knew I was going to lose my shit on him one day; I could only be patient for so long.

When we were done eating, I got up from the table to start doing the dishes, and Danny came up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders.

"Let's go to Midtown. We haven't been there in a few weeks, and I can tell you need a night out. New band playing tonight, too."

I shrugged him off my shoulders. "Let's go somewhere else."

"Are you actually going to let some girl dictate where you hang out?"

"If she happens to be there, I don't think I can take being rejected a third time."

"She really got you good, T."

"I know."

He put his palms on the counter and lifted himself up onto it. "What if I ask Marnie to meet us at a different place and bring a friend?"

I stared back at my reflection in the window behind the sink, contemplating.

"I know for a fact that one of Marnie's friends thinks I'm attractive. You're the best she can do cause she can't have me."

I shoved a soapy hand into his face.

"Hey! Watch it, you little shit. As your older brother—"

"Mom had a C-section. You're older by thirty fucking seconds. How do we even know that you were for sure pulled out first?"

He rolled his eyes at me. "Younger brothers."

"I'm not opposed to knocking you the fuck out, Dan."

"Dude, relax. You know what? You don't even have a choice in the matter anymore. Go shower and be ready to leave in ten minutes. You fucking stink."

"At least I work out regularly enough to be able to bench more than just the bar." I slipped out of the kitchen before he could retort.

As I peeled off my sweat streaked clothes, I kind of agreed with him on the stench issue. After a quick rinse and a fresh set of jeans and a sweater, I met Danny back downstairs.

"Girls are going to meet us at Finnegan's, that Irish pub."

"Great. What's Marnie's friend's name?"

"Mary." There was a smirk on his face.

"No. I'm not going to entertain even the idea of getting with someone with the same name as my sister. It's fucking weird."

"Just messing with you, bro. Her name's Natalie."

"Better."

I followed Dan out of our house and walked with him to Finnigan's. The best thing about living in a city, especially one like Boston, is that you can often walk wherever you need to go. And if you can't, it's never more than a few subway stops away.

At the pub, Danny and I grabbed a hightop and ordered a round of beers.

"What if Natalie doesn't like beer?" I asked him.

"Then you'll know it's not going to work."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Jules was drinking a cider when I met her."

"And where has that gotten you?"

My gaze narrowed. "The point was that we still hit it off, jackass."

"T, I don't know who you are anymore. You've never been hung up on a girl like this. You need this tonight, man. Really."

I gulped down about a third of my beer. Dan was right, but it wasn't like my dating history was impressive; there was no use keeping a girlfriend when I was in the military, so I never even entertained the idea until I was out. Over the previous three years, I'd had some casual girlfriends, even one who was a bit more serious, but every time those ended, even the one that went on for a few months, there was no remorse; there were no hard feelings.

It was strange; I'd be reminded of Jules in the most random ways. She'd pop up in a dream, or a country song would play on the radio and I'd be reminded of the cute twang she tried to hide, much like her freckles. Do you know how many jewerly store ads there are on the TV and radio? I never noticed them before, but then every time I heard "jewels" I thought of Jules and I was back at square one with trying to forget about her. I downed a bit more of my drink.

Once we were nearly halfway through our beers, Marnie and her friend showed up. I was able to catch a glimpse of Natalie as she walked up to our table. Dark brown, almost black hair hung down her back, and a tight blue dress hugged her figure. To any guy at the bar, she would've been someone to pay attention to. When I stood up to be introduced to her, my first thought was that she was a few inches taller than Jules.

"Wow, Marnie was right. You two are practically clones. I'm Natalie."

"Theo." I shook her hand. There were no immediate sparks, but her skin was soft and warm. She could be a nice distraction.

Marnie sat next to Dan as Natalie took up the seat by me.

"Hey, Marn. Good week at the hospital?"

"Sure. What nurse doesn't love twelve hour shifts?" She winked at me and pulled her auburn hair into a ponytail and draped it over her shoulder.

Natalie looked from Marnie to me. "Marnie said you're an EMT. Do you two run into each other at the hospital a lot?"

"Not often. I don't usually make it past the parking lot." I didn't have anything else to say, but Dan shot me a look as if to say keep going. "By the way, that beer's for you. It's a local lager. We ordered a round when we got here."

"What a bunch of gentlemen. Thanks." She picked up her glass and took a sip.

The entire night, the conversation fell flat. It wasn't the easy flowing discourse that filled my first night with Jules. In fact, Jules entered my mind so many times that night that I created a little drinking game out of it in my head. Every time she popped in, I took another drink, hoping to make Natalie more appealing; she was plenty attractive, but there just wasn't any chemistry. I considered being the man Jules so desperately wanted me to be, the one who takes home random girls who mean nothing to him.

When I finished my fourth beer, I noticed Natalie's hand was resting on my thigh. I had no clue how long it'd been there as it felt like nothing. The pulsating spark Jules' touch sent through me ensured I noticed every single grace of her skin against mine.

But then again, Natalie was right in front of me, and the chances of me ever seeing Jules again were slim. I turned to her, "Want to give these two a little privacy and go sit at the bar?"

"Love to." She hopped down from her chair, grabbed my hand, and led us to the bar.

We sat far from the door, all the way at the opposite end of the counter. I loved my brother, but I didn't want to see him get all mushy with his girlfriend. There are some things siblings just aren't meant to witness.

I swiveled in my seat to face Natalie. "How long have you known Marnie?"

"Oh, we go way back to our college years. We were roommates freshman year, and the friendship stuck."

"Nice. And you said earlier you work for a bank?"

"Yep. I'm in the loans department so, mortgages, student loans, all that fun stuff."

"Yeah, sounds thrilling."

"Well, it is if you like math. Do you like math?"

"I can name at least five hundred things I like more than math."

She laughed, but it was one of those flirtatious laughs, not a genuine one. For the next hour, I tried, really tried, to give her a chance, but not once did she ask me about, well, me. Not once did it feel like she was trying to get to know me at all. That was when Danny's comment about how Marnie said this girl always thought he was attractive clicked. And as if the timing of that thought couldn't have been more perfect, Natalie leaned in and whispered in my ear.

"Want to take this back to my place?" There was a soft purr in her voice.

Regardless of whatever Dan's intentions were for me that evening, I just couldn't do it.

"You know, it was really nice talking to you, but I've got an early start to a twelve hour shift tomorrow, and it's getting late. I'm going to head out." And with a quick smile, I excused myself from the bar, an utterly confounded Natalie staring back at me.

As I walked home, I felt a little shitty about lying to her about having to work in the morning, but I had no intention of prolonging the evening in any fashion. If I had to, I'd get over Jules eventually, but not by sleeping with someone just to replace whatever emotional connection I felt to her with something physical.

A/N: HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY! 🇺🇸

I know this is shorter than usual but I don't want to drag things out for the sake of having more words. Big things are coming your way soon. I actually already wrote 90% of chapter 8 (though I've written 0% of chapter 7 lol), and I can't wait to get it to you!

I love you all. Please vote and comment and chat with me. ❤️

Since this is at least 5 chapters, I've officially entered it into the Wattys along with my other works! We shall see what happens. I totally encourage all of you to submit to the Wattys if you have something that qualifies! You never know if you can win unless you enter 😘

See you Friday!

-L