I tried my best to hide the pain and emotional distress I felt. Knowing that I was going to die made me feel so empty, so numb. I inhaled deeply as I knew the blue like veins had spread up my neck by now, slowly they covered my face.

William had fallen asleep over the time and Optimus had kindly moved him to his personal quarters to sleep peacefully, of course the Autobot leader checked frequently about my state.

Ratchet was actually quite surprised I lasted this long and honestly, so am I. Its been 30 minutes and Ratchet still has not figured out a way to save me... in all honesty I don't think he can.

My stained bloody hands shook madly, clutching onto a bucket that I swore spewed the last of my blood in my body. My teeth stained from all the blood, they chattered against each other. I felt awfully cold and my eyes were glazed over with dullness.

A strong arm wrapped around me so suddenly, I jumped weakly from the touch. Slowly, I looked at the holoform before me to see Ironhides stressed face, I could just... feel his worry bouncing off him. I've never seen him in such distress before, neither have I with Ratchet.

"Ironhide..." I spoke up weakly, my head felt heavy and sometimes I couldn't help but allow it to drop rapidly to the left or right here and there. It felt like it was ready to fall off my shoulders and roll away from me. My muscles were weak and I felt like I was at the end of it all.

"Hazel?..." Ironhide replied with a questioning tone, voice soft. Those blue eyes of his dull as well, his fingers twitched at by my side.

The Autobot raised his other hand and brushed some strands of my brown hair out of my face. "I...." He started to whisper to me, but he stopped just as fast. The male thought deeply about what he was about to say, before his dull eyes went bright.

I bit my lip at this. My mind totally elsewhere during Ironhides sudden mood change. All I could think about was his voice... I'm going to miss his voice the most. My eyes started burning madly... No... I got to stay strong. I got to keep myself together... I got this...

Ironhide spun around to Ratchet, bursting like a bubble. "I know how to save your life! Ratchet I know!"

The fire of defiance that was once in my eyes now leaked with water, tears trailed down my face at this. I sobbed loudly at that sentence and the bucket in my hands slipped from my grip, but Ratchet swiftly caught it to stop the mess it could've made.

The medic had easily heard what was happening and of course responded to his name swiftly. "What does that mean Hide'?" Ratchet questioned sternly, optics zooming in on the weapon specialists face while he raised an optic ridge in question.

"Hazel has a fleshy heart, that needs blood to survive..." Ironhide started off his explanation, while Ratchet nodded impatiently wanting him to continue. "-but now she has energon, energon needs a spark. We can't get rid of the energon, but we can replace her heart-"

"No!" Ratchet snapped at Ironhide, cutting him off instantly. Clearly horrified at that very idea, the medic shook his head madly in disagreement. "That is ridiculous! No! I'm not taking part of that! If it doesn't work Ironhide we will lose both of you!"

"-But Ratchet it's the only way! If you take a part of my spark-" Ironhide started off desperately, but Ratchet cut him off again. Not having it at all.

"That might not even work! We- I can't guarantee it! It will put Hazel in more risk and we can't lose you too old friend..." Ratchets loud voice turned to a mutter at the end of his rant, his sapphire optics softening.

Ironhides teeth grinded against each other madly. "I will lose myself if she dies Ratche-t!" Ironhide snapped out his admittion to Ratchet, voice booming loudly to intimidate, but it failed when his voice cracked at the end of his sentence.

My eyes leaked more tears at this, my heart hurting at the very idea of Ironhide hurting because of me.

I tried to speak up and stop this nonsense, but no voice came out... I can't speak. My breathing started to quicken in panic... My vision failing me when I witnessed multiple of everything, my head pounded.

Ironhides holoform suddenly disappeared in a flash as his familiar robotic figure appeared. Storming in to stand beside Ratchet, they argued about it.

Boom. The pain in my head worsened.

"You can die Ironhide-"

Boom. And worsened.

"I don't care, save her Ratchet!"

Boom. Until my body started falling backwards.

"Ironhide-"

"I love-"

"Slag! we are loosing her!" Ratchets voice echoed in my ears. I felt my head smash against a surface, but no pain followed at all when it should have. "It's infected her heart-"

"Now Ratchet!"

"Ironhide..."

"NOW!"

•~••~•

A loud ring rung in my ears like a dog hearing a dog whistle. It was annoying, a nuisance.

'Open your eyes.'

"huh?" I whispered out, my eyelids snapping open at this. They revealed my amber eyes, pupils adjusting to the lighting. I tilted my head at this, raising my hand to block the light from my squinting eyes.

"Hello?..." I called out automatically, but my voice echoed from all directions. I gulped, nervous.

"Hazel!"

I spun around at the call of my name and felt as if I was floating. My long brown messy hair swished through the air sharply from such swift movement, but I still couldn't feel it againsnt my skin.

I couldn't feel anything.

"Nathan. Aneska." I muttered out, taking a step forward to the pair, before taking another. I started to run to them madly. I just wanted to go to them, to everyone I lost, I missed them so much.

"Don't let go!" Nathan told me desperaty, his green eye wide. This is where I noticed he was missing an eye... his skull showing, ear missing, arm missing... he was blown apart.

Aneska stood there herself, her form just as bloody as I remembered. I shivered at the hole in her neck and I knew it represented the way they died...

My jaw wobbled madly, whimpers escaped my vocals. I didn't care if I sounded like an idiot, this sight of them tore me apart and made me want to cry my eyes out even more.

"Don't come to us..." Aneska whispered, shaking her head. "It's not time yet."

I halted at this sudden slap of reality. I knew they were good at hiding their pain and I know it hurts for them, but it hurts for me too and I can't hide it as well as they can. I could only hide so much, before I exploded into an emotional mess.

"Why? Why can't I go! Haven't I survived enough? Lost enough?" I asked desperately, wanting answers to my millions of questions on why they have died, but I was still trapped in reality. Hadn't my life been ruined enough?

I never got my answers as they disappeared in a flash, my mind could barely keep up. "Wait!" I screamed way too late and went to run where they once stood, but I ran into something... it made me stumble back with a surprised 'oof!'.

I placed my hands on what seemed to be some type of barrier that blocked me... someone stopping me... Telling me to stay...

'Open your eyes...'

"They are open!" I screamed to nothing with pure fury, angry that I was once again stuck between life and death. That I couldn't be free of my burdans, of my sufferings. "What do you want from me!"

I clutched my hair in frustration while spinning in a circle, I let out a pathetic scream . God damn it! I need help!

"Someone help me!" I begged pathetically, I started to hyperventilate at the very thought of being stuck here.

'Help yourself. Help him.'

"Who!" I hissed out, trying to wrap my brain around it all. Trying to figure out how the hell this kept happening to me.

'Help Ironhide!'

I yelped when something appeared in front of me. Stumbling back from shock, I fell onto my ass. I slowly looked up at the male that... represented my dad.

Clothes ripped and burnt, patches of skin burnt off, missing, hanging off his body... like someone just shredded him up and threw him away.

"Dad?..." I whispered out in utter shock, tears dripping down my face at the very sight of the father I had lost years ago.

"No. Not anymore." The male shook his head, dark brown eyes sad.

"What?..." I was puzzled, confused. How was this even happening? At this point, I was considering in believing in some type of God by now.

"They are waiting for you Hazel. William... Sarah... Annabelle..." My father listed off in a whisper, pointing at me to push his point across.

At this, he started to fade, why does everyone I love always go away... why do they reappear just to disappear again?

'Ironhide is on his death bed! For YOU.'

Who is that?... Who is in my head!

'He will die, if you die!'

No.... No... That's not possible. This can't be. Ratchet said he wouldn't do it.

"-but he did. Go home Hazel." My fading Dad demanded. "The voice you are hearing is you. This is all in your head Hazel! Your brain is shutting down! Don't let yourself die here!"

At that I watched as the figure I saw as Aneska, Nathan and my dad... turn into me. It was me...

My jaw clenched tightly at this, I knew deep down that this was true. I was imagining all of this, I was giving up. Allowing my mind to slowly die and during the process of dying, my mind was giving me illusions. My eyes closed, trying to block out the voice before me, my own voice.

The gentleness was gone and in moments my voice was sneering towards me with violent nastiness. "Unless... You want to give up. You always do give up on yourself, always needing someone to save you-"

"Shut up." I whispered. Not wanting to hear the truth of it all.

...I can't give up on me...

...On us...

...On Ironhide...

Ironhides life is important. If I die he dies. I need him, he needs me. I can't be selfish. I can't let my mind control my life any longer. Ironhide has given his all to me, I will now give my all to him.

because...

I love him.

I snapped open my eyes, gasping for air as my eyes met bloodshot blue ones. They belonged to a little girl, her tears dripping from her face onto mine.

"Hwazel?" The child gasped out in surprise, her small hands gripping my face even tighter.

"Annabelle" I sobbed out with relief.

I faced myself without running away.

Annabelle moved back at this, her blue eyes wide with happiness."Your back!"

I smiled at this.
"I'm home."