Of course you got the answers
Cause you ain't the one that's in my position
I've been sorting through
A lot of shit that's in my head now

:6LACK

RICO

I blew my nose as I looked over at Amarah. Whenever I came to the hospital, I always found a way to get sick. The hospital is supposed to be the cleanest place, but it's still packed with germs.

She stirred in her sleep. I placed my hand on her growing belly. It was slowly starting to grow, and it looked beautiful on her.

"Why ya touchin me?"She asked while her eyes were still closed.

"I got your doctor to send over the gender results. If you want, we can open them."

She sat up in her bed. A smile grew across her face. It's the only thing she's been looking forward too. She's been cooped up in this hospital for the past four days. Her release date hasn't been decided yet because her BP levels fluctuate too often.

She pushed her hair behind her ear as I handed her the paper. It was a white envelope that had our names on it. She ran her fingers across our names a few times before she opened it. I pull out my phone to record.

"Wait,"She said. "Befa' we start let's place a bet."

"You really want to place a bet on our child?"I asked with a chuckle.

She nodded, "I'll give ya $200 if it's a boy."

"Playing small aren't we?"I asked. "$2,000 of its a girl, and it won't be."

She rolled her eyes, "Okay Ricotta lose $2,000 if ya want."

I held the phone back up as she pulled the sonograms out of the envelope. A huge smile grew on her face.

"It's a girl!"She giggled. "A mini me!"

I smiled with her. The picture on the sonogram was the baby curled up. I laughed as I noticed she was just like Amarah. I knew she would act like Anarah, but her features were more of Jordan's.

"Where's ma money fa me and ma daughta?"She asked with her hand held out.

I stopped recording on my phone and pulled the cash out of my wallet. I placed it in her hand, and she giggled.

She hasn't been this happy all week. She hates staying in the hospital. Her time at school was slowly coming to an end because of the pregnancy. She had a good three more months before she had to take time off. If the doctor puts her on bed rest, it would be longer.

"Well there goes my name ideas,"I spoke. "If it was a boy, we would be naming him Jordan."

"Because I knew it was a girl. I gotta couple ah names in ma mind,"She responded. "But my favorite one is Jorie."

JORDAN

"Jorie?"Amarah giggled. "That bitch ass name?"

"Oh really Mar?"I chuckled. "Your name is literally Amarah."

She pushed me slightly. I laughed as she held my hand. She traced the lines on them with her straw. She was always playing with her straw instead of using it.

"I wish ya was a girl,"She spoke softly. "Ya think we'd still be talkin'?"

I nodded, "We're soulmates baby. Even if that means you have to turn gay for me, we would still be together."

"Okay Jorie,"She giggled softly. "If ya eva have a lil girl, ya gotta name ha Jorie."

"No if,"I laughed, "When we have a little girl, we'll name her Jorie."

"Nigga I've known ya fa a whole three months. Ya don't kna if I'm havin ya chil'ren or not."

"Trust me you will,"I said with a wink.

I could tell by the look on her face she was creeped out, but I knew what I said was true. We were getting married, and she was going to have all of my kids. I knew this was the girl I wanted to be with.

I would do anything to keep her in my life

AMARAH

"Jorie Ricotta Bynes,"I said as I rubbed my belly. "I named ha afta ya."

"Shut the front door,"Rico mumbled. "What's her real middle name?"

"I don't kna yet."

Honestly, I did know. I just didn't want to say anything. I wanted it to be a surprise. Jordan always had a surprise up his sleeve, and I knew his little girl would have one.

"So that means I can start decorating the nursery?"

"I'm not livin with ya fa'eva. It'll most likely be at ma house."

"But when Jorie comes to stay, I want her to feel at home."

"We'll talk 'bout livin arrangements lata. I kinda just want some rest."

He nodded his head slowly, "Alright well I promised Lanai I would pick her up today. So I'll be back around eight with some things from home." He flicked the top of my forehead. "Hit the hay kiddo."

"I don't like ya,"I responded.

I watched him walk out the door. He's been here for me every second I've been in the hospital. I'm sure my other friends would be here, but I didn't want them to. I've only had Rico and mommy visit. I didn't want the added on stress from everyone else.

Mommy told me about Rico and Gerald's fight. No one thinks I know, but I do. Gerald has been calling my phone back to back, but I don't answer. I can't. What Rico said was starting to click on my head.

Maybe I did wait for Jordan to die to be with Gerald. Maybe I always liked him, but we couldn't be together. That scares me. Jordan hated Gerald so much, but he kept it together when I was around.

The door swung open to my room. Laughter began to flood my ears as I watched my siblings enter. I rolled my eyes at how extra they were. Before they could even step foot into the room they were already arguing.

"Mama said don't bother me Danny,"Phrey shouted.

"Mama said don't bother me,"Danny mocked.

Phrey reached up to hit him, but Nala caught his arm. He pinched her to let him go.

"Fuck!"She mumbled. "I can't stand you Humphrey!"

"You know that's not my name,"Phrey shouted back.

"I can call you whatever I want you little dip sh-"

I started coughing really loudly. They all looked up at me with joyful eyes. Danny ran over to my bed and threw his arms around me. I laughed as he hugged me. Phrey came to the other side of the bed and hugged me.

"Marah!"Danny screamed in my ear. "I missed ya!"

"I missed ya lil niglets too,"I responded. "But I missed ya the most,"I whispered in his ear.

He smiled from ear to ear. I laughed as I did the same thing to Phrey. They both were now smiling from ear to ear.

Nala walked over and gave me a side hug. I hugged her back. I could tell she was back in wrestling. Her arms were starting to get firmer.

"How are ya?"

"Tired,"She said as she fell onto my hospital bed. I kicked her off of me. "Wrestling is so fuc-"

"I don't know where you got this cussing shit from, but you need to watch your motherfuckin mouth Nala,"Mommy said as she walked in.

Nala got up, and was immediately popped in her mouth. She cried in pain. I remember those days. Except I've learned my lesson with cussing around mommy. She was quick to pop somebody regardless of where it was at.

The first time I got popped was in church.

"How you doing babygirl? You need something?"She asked me.

I shook my head, "Rico and I found out tha baybeh genda today."

Everyone looked up in surprise. I smiled as I held the envelope.

"You don't want to have gender reveal?"Mommy asked.

"Nah, I really don't wanna celebrate ha gender til she can decide fa ha'self."

That's something I lived by. Of course I was happy she was a girl, but she might not want to be identified, and I wasn't going to push a sexuality or gender on her.

"Understood,"Nala spoke. "I wish my parents would've let choose my gender."

"Girl shut up! You would've been a female either way. You complain like one every damn second."

Phrey and Danny nodded in agreement. I knew the house was filled with Nala's complaints. When I was there she never complained about anything because I made her shut up. I intimidated her.

"She complained fa days when pops and mama said they was gettin a divorce Marah,"Danny said out loud.

"Darnell Harper!"Mama shouted. "Now you know that is not your place to tell he-"

"Y'all gettin a divorce?"I asked softly.

Tears started to build up in my eyes. It's my fault. If it wasn't for me, they would still be together. They would be the happy loving couple they've always been.

Mommy dismissed my siblings out of the room. She held my hand as I cried. She didn't say anything for awhile. The only thing that could be heard was my sniffles and the machines beeping.

"It's not your fault. Amarah your father is troublesome, and you know this,"She consoled. "In marriage you're supposed to support your significant other through anything. I can't support him when it comes to disowning a child. I refuse to let go of you. Yes you might've made a mistake, but you're still my baby."

"I hate this fa ya. Ya love him so much, a-a-and I ruined it,"I cried.

"I love you more, and if that means walking out then I'll do it....you know your father had you at a very young age. He doesn't want you going through the pain he went through,"She said as she rubbed my back. "He'll be back for you Marah. You're gonna be his little girl again. Just give it time baby."

RICO

"I know you did not just stick your dirty ass hands in my fries."

I reached my hand band into her fries, but she swatted me away. I chuckled as I watched her eat. She was a true beauty. Everything about her radiated good energy.

"Hurry up girl, I gotta go to the hospital later."

She rolled her eyes, "Don't remind me....I'm sorry but you are Amarah's bitch literally."

I shrugged my shoulders. I hear that so much, but if anyone else was in my position they'd do the same thing. Amarah needs help, and I'm here for her.

"Did I make you mad?"She said softly. "I didn't mean it like that, but I ju-"

"Can you finish so I can take you home?"I interrupted.

Amarah was my best friend, and she was carrying my best friend's baby. I'm not gonna disrespect her, or let anyone else do it.