He set fire to the world around him,
but he never let a flame touch her.

-Unknown
☁︎

It feels like all the air within my lungs was stolen. Taken. Drained. Withheld from me. So I couldn't take in another breath.

I also feels like I want to murder someone.

That someone being the very person who just toke away my breath. Who just left me in shambles. Who left my lips pecked.

And who I was going to track down. And shove in a nearby trash can.

☁︎

"But I wanted that croissant!"Whined Jason.

"Well, isn't that the sad truth." Sam spat back, as he playfully licked the last croissant.

"Ew! Mom!" Jason yelled.

Our mother sighed, as she continued to butter a slice of toast, while sitting in her seat comfortably, she said back with a happy tone. "Will you two calm down? I'll buy some more tomorrow."

"But they won't be as good tomorrow! These are fresh! Tomorrow's will be a day old."

"Another sad truth."

"Jason." my mother laughed, "The Santon Bakers always bake fresh produce everyday."

"But it's not the same!"

"Once again another trut-"

"Will you two shut up!?" I yell, slamming my fist on out little breakfast table, causing each plate and glass to tremble.

My mother stops buttering toast, and my two bothersome siblings look towards me, with their blue eyes wide.

I suddenly felt a ping of guilt in my chest

"Well, it's someone's dot of the month, isn't it Raina?" Sam shot back, right before allowing a smirk to cover his lips.

I take it back.

My hands go straight across the table and launch to his shirt, which I use to pull his butt of a face close to my face. "Why you little-"

"Calm down you two." My mother laughs once again, and I slowly let him. "Raina are you alright? You've been rather antsy this morning."

"I have not." I state calmly, glaring as hard as I can at Sam, while taking a sip of my orange juice.

How could I not be? Antsy is nothing compared to how I'm truly feeling right now! How dare he? It's not like it was first kiss, but still, how dare he just do that out of nowhere? And how dare he leave me so confused.

Jason snorts. "Uhh that's totally why you almost ate me and Sam as a snack this morning thrice. I mean, your usual a grump in the morning, but not this ba-"

"Okey, so I had a bad night. Big deal. Can I not have a day where I'm not happy?" I suggest, as I stab my next piece of toast with my fork.

Jason pulls his puffy cherry lips into a smirk."Aw! Look, it's a rare gross Raina! In her natural habitat, with her gross unbrushed hair and in the same old sweat pants that she wears for weeks straight! Moping arou-"

"Shut up China doll! Before this toast becomes you." I shout, stabbing my poor toast once again.

"Raina. Breath." My mother laughs, taking my glass and filling it with more orange juice. "You know he's right. You aren't going to wear those sweat pants to school are you?"

"And if I do?"

Nah, I didn't say that. My mom would have my head on a silver plater.

"Uh, why not? I mean it's just school mom. Who cares." I sigh, taking the glass from her hand and bringing the rim to my lips.

My mother's brows furrow. "I would think you care a little about what your class mates think, but then again, it's best that you don't." She laughs, ruffling my messy hair.

"Nah, Raina doesn't care what people think. And anyways, she's already got a huge admirer." My head snaps around to see Carter entering the kitchen, with his hands dug in his dark green sweater pockets and a annoying smirk on his face, while his bright blues shine with satisfaction.

My mother gasps. "Oh my! Really? Who's the unlucky boy Raina? Oh! Is it that Carson boy? Oh I like him, he's very handsome, you two would have beautiful childr-"

"Ew ew ew! Hell no. I'd rather marry a fish then even think about speaking with that jerk of a guy, who's head is so big, his pea size of a brain is practically drowning in that box of dead IQ points and nasty thoughts." I huff, chopping down on my third piece of toast.

"Raina! The Grey's are very nice people, you shouldn't talk that way about their son." My mother protests.

Of course she's taking his side. They have been our neighbors for the past two years. My parents get along quite well with the Grey's, they have alike interests and are both calm, monotone type of people.

And, mother thinks Carson is one of the most good looking guys in this small town. So of course she's already shipping me with him.

She once said, and I quote. "With your grey eyes and his emerald ones, your children's would be absolutely beautiful!"

"Eh, trust me mom. Raina's right. Carson's green eyes are probably the only thing pigmented in that head of his." Carter laughed, shooting me a wink. I sigh and give my oldest little brother thankful smile.

"Aw.. and he's so good looking too." My mother states, as she shakes her head disappointedly.

"Yeah, and he's a great athlete. I've got no clue what he sees in my hobo of a sister." Sam snorts, ponying his index finger at me. "I mean look at her, she looks like she belongs in the dinosaur times."

I look down at myself. Old, baggy grey sweat pants. My favorite black worn out hoodie. Some fuzzy dark green Christmas socks. Which are placed in my comfy slippers at the moment. My hair isn't even brushed, it's just a short charcoal mess, who's ends are slightly curled, reaching out everywhere. My plain grey eyes are most likely puffy, due to me not being able to sleep, and I bet, there's a zit on my forehead.

I'm a gorgeous mess.

"Yeah me either." I bust into laughs, and my brothers join in.

My mother sighs. "Sam, your sister is very pretty, if she'd just dress a little different, fix her hair, and maybe put a little cover up on that zit-"

I told you.

"She'd look just like a model!" My mother exclaims, getting up from her seat to hug me.

We burst out laughing again, as I hug my mother back. She's very sensitive when it comes to how we see ourselves. She's always built us up, and always wanted us to love our outer appearance and love who we are.

Which I do. This is what I look like, and this is what people are gonna get.

"Ehh, that's not what makes our sister pretty mom." Carter laughs, picking up his backpack off the ground."She's got a pretty personality."

I laugh, rolling my eyes at the cheesy thing he just said.

See? I told you Carter was the brightest.

☁︎

"He's sick again! I can't believe he's just going to keep ditching school like this. Can't he see his girlfriend is practically dying in her Chemistry class, and is trying her best to get into the right university? And what's he's doing? Sitting at home, pretending to be sick for the past week! I can't believe him, I don't believe him!" Jane exclaims, as she walks agitatedly beside me, on our way to our next class.

"Raina? Raina?"

"Huh?" I bring my sights up from the ground, my eyes meeting her's. "Sorry, I've just been thinking.." I mumble.

Jane arches her brows, as she puts a strand of her blue hair behind her ear neatly. Today she's rocking a messy bun. They always seem to look perfect on her, where as mine end up looking like a tiny burnt muffin on my head, due to me having short hair.

"Thinking? You? Jeez, what happened? Your not yourself today, or yesterday for that matter.." she stops in her tracks, and I turn to see a confused look in her brown eyes. "Was it because of what happened yesterday? With that guy and the window?"

"What? No." I snort, trying to hide my nervousness. "I'm fine, just couldn't really sleep."

Jane gasps dramatically. "What?!" She grabs my shoulders and looks straight into my eyes. "Are you sick? Rain, you can sleep anytime, anywhere. You once fell asleep on a roller coaster, due to being bored. What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I laugh. "Come on, I'm starving, let's go eat in the library."

Our high school library is probably the nicest thing about this school entirely. It's not too big to the point where you have trouble finding what you need, but it's also not to small to the point where you can't even have a conversation with out someone eavesdropping on your every word.

It's old school, with it's little brown leather sofa areas where you can sit and talk, and it's wide open windows that have old grandma curtains that can shut all the light out of the building once drawn together. It's got it's five computers, and one librarian, who's an old dude with a sick French accent. He's been here every since I started coming to this school, almost four years ago.

Jane and I seat ourselves at our known table, by a open window, where the sight of the pale blue late August sky, and dark green oak trees are able to be seen, and where at the same time, everyday, we sit and eat our lunch.

I'm not one to visit libraries, or even to read for that matter. I've never really enjoyed it. It reminds me of school, and working. So yeah, like the lazy as* I am, I'd rather listen to music.

Jane on the other hand could read for the rest of her life. I bet she's read most of the books here. She's once said, "Reading is like watching a movie. But better. You get to pick the actors and places. It's the best thing ever."

I could never agree with her. I can't picture things in my head that way, I've never been good at imagining things, places or people. I've got to see it. That's probably why drawing is more likable to me.

My eyes gaze over to the girl seated in front of me, who's some how became my best female friend in these past years.

She's so different from me. She's always put together, with hair neat, and clothes bright and cheery. Her light yellow knit sweater and dark wash, distressed jeans bounce prefect with her blue dyed hair that's pulled into a messy bun.
She always seems to be able to put her outfits together in away where her hair color goes along with it.

I'd never be able to do that. Luckily, my hair is pitch black, and black goes with everything, so I'm set for life.

Her brown eyes scan threw her large rimed glasses along the page of her huge text book, I don't even know what subject it is, as she eats her chips every once and awhile.

"Studying again?" I laugh, taking one of her chips, and popping it into my mouth.

Her eyes don't even move to meet mine. "Yup." She mumbles.

I sigh, looking up at the ceiling, as my brain once again starts to fill with plenty of things.

One of those things is Renegade.

How dare he? How dare he just come back into my life out of nowhere. How dare he climb up to my window and kiss me. And how dare he completely disappear today!

He hasn't shown up at school today at all. What? Did he just leave all of a sudden? Back to where ever he came from? What did he even come here for? I'm extremely agitated, because I have no clue what's going on!

If I see his face today, first thing I'm doing is smacking it!

"You okey?"

My eyes trail down from the ceiling, to the brown eyes before me. "Yeah, why?" I ask, shooting her a reassuring smile, right before swiping another one of her ships.

"Because you just mumbled something about smacking a face.." Jane mumbles, lifting her brows.

"Yeah. I meant Sam's. He toke my peanut-butter again today." I explain, taking one of her chips again.

I'm not lying. That's another reason I'm pissed off. Little thief.

Jane only shook her head amusedly.

"No Carter. You can't just authorize that kind of debate, you've got to have your team set out and agreeing with your topic, that's how it works."

"Look, I know it's a big deal to you, but since I'm the leader of this club, we've got to establish trust among each other. I think it's a good idea, and everyone seems to like it."

Jane and I look toward our left, to see my brother Carter, one of his science club pals Jerry, and one of our own close friend, Racer.

Jerry's probably the most annoying pal among my brother's friends. He's a stick of a guy, with extremely gelled back brown hair, to the point where it's greasy like, and his white button up shirt halfway tucked in his plaid shorts.

He's always trying to mess up my little brother's projects, always following him around to catch him messing up, and is always talking crap behind his back. He's jealous since Carter was voted the Science club president, and he wasn't.

So all in all. I can't stand him, and I wish Carter would dump his sissy, two faced, sorry butt.

But Carter's not only the golden boy, but he's also got a heart of gold.

Then you've got Racer. I've known Racer for about a year, and all in all, he's not a bad guy at all. He's a senior, like Jane and I, and also a straight A student like my brother. They get along quite well, every since a year ago my brother and him started talking about building a science club.

Racer's the type of guy who most girls wouldn't go for, want to talk to, or go out with at first glance. Sure he's a bit shorter then most of the guys at this school, he's got ginger hair that swipes to the side in a messy, but cute way, and he's still got his braces, but underneath that is a goodhearted and very funny personality.

"Hey pretty ladies. How's lunch?" Racer laughs, sliding into the seat next to Jane and I.

"It's not that great. Sam toke my peanut-butter." I state, almost shouting the last part in the direction of Carter, causing a few people to shush me.

Carter sighs, and then rolls his bright blue eyes, seating himself in a seat beside me, and pulling a jar of happiness out of his bag.

I take the jar, and sing. "Thank you."

"So what brings you three to the library this fine afternoon?" Jane asks, shoot them a curious smile.

Beside me, I can feel Carter quickly tense up.

"Well, lunch stunk, and I'm getting sick of eating in that nasty cafeteria. It smells like whatever their cooking." Racer gags, picking up Jane's bag of chips, and taking a few.

Looking around, the greasy haired jerk Jerry left. Not even responding or saying a simple hi. Thank goodness.

"Y-yeah.." is all Carter mumbles, as he stares at the ground.

I smile at this.

"Jane!" I exclaim, smacking my lil brother's back with my hand at the same time. "Did you know Carter here is a Chemistry wiz?"

Carter's pale face turns red, while his bright eyes glare at me with anger.

Jane's pink lips turn into a small smile, as she fixes the rims of her glasses ever so slightly. "I'm not surprised. What aren't you good at Carter?" She laughed.

Carter's chiseled cheeks dust with pink, as he scratches the back of his head, causing some of his ravine strands to fall over his face. "Thanks, uh, but that's not entirely true.."

"Yup It's not." I laugh, giving my lil brother another good wack on the back, as I stood up. "The dude can't make a sandwich to save his life."

At this Jane and Racer chuckle, and Carter only death glares me.

☁︎

"Why would you do that?! You know I've liked Jane for like three years, so can you stop making fun of me in front of her?!" Carter exclaims, as we both side by side walk out the high school entrance doors, finally released to go home.

I laugh. "That's your fault. Stop getting so nervous around her, and I'll stop making you two talk. I don't know why you still get nervous."

Carter only sighs, digging his hands deep in his hoodie pockets.

I smile and look around, trying to find Sam in the crowd of people who are leaving and coming into the school doors.

And then I see him.

His hazel eyes stuck on the ground, focused, as his sandy hair is even more messy then usual, gently falling over his face. He leans against one of the school campus buildings, with his hands in his black jean pockets.

He stood out easily for me. Due to his navy blue sweater, and his familiar sandy hair, that I don't think I'll ever be able to forget.

"When Sam shows up, go home with mom, I'll be walking today." I state, taking a step toward the building he's at.

I can hear Carter shout, "Why?"

But I've already disappeared into crowd.

I can't control myself. I'm pissed. I speak walk my way right up to him, and his eyes don't even widen, is like he knew I was coming, all he doesn't smile and smile that's full of regret, before-

Slap. Right across his cheek.

His fingers trail up to his cheek, that now has a red splotch. His eyes still hold regret, and hint of sadness.

"That's what you get." I sigh, putting my hands on my hips. "How dare you just do something like that." I state, trying to seem calm, but I can't help but allow some emotion cling to my last word.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't of done that." He explains in a small voice.

"No. You shouldn't have." I state, turning on my feet, but I'm stoped.

Stoped by a cold hand meeting mine. My eyes snap over the saddened face before me. His blond brows furrowed, his pale lips being bitten, and his cat eyes shouting something. I don't know what that something is.

"What are you doing? Let go. Before I smack you again." I sigh, narrowing my eyes at this person I thought I knew, but I realize now, that I don't.

I don't know Renegade Andrews anymore. I once did. And I can truthfully say that I once did like him.

"My plan was to see you, and go back. Then it was to talk with, and go back. Then it changed, to kiss you and go back. And now..." He states, trying to explain something.

What is he talking about? This guy is creeping me out more and more.

"Raina, I came back to see you." He states, emphasizing on the last word.

"And..?" I ask, feeling agitated, and confused.

"And, I realize that I haven't gotten over you." He smiles.

It's the type of smile a innocent five year old would have when telling their mother what they've done wrong.

Full of curiosity, hope, and a hint of fear.

Gotten over me? Wha-

"I love you Rain, and I still do." He laughs, breaking that small smile into a tooth grin.

Which in return I rip my hand away, and take a major step back.

"What the heck are saying?!" My words flood out.

"I'm stay that I lo-"

"Yeah! I heard you!" I shout.

I've come to a conclusion.

Renegade is down right crazy in the head.

I breath in, and out. Not knowing what to say or think. Is this a joke? A prank? A dream? Because if it is, dear God let me wake up.

"Ren." I breath out, calmly, and sternly. "You and I, were best friends at one point in our lives. We were very close. There's no denying that. But you don't love me. That's impossible, you don't even know me anymore. We were kids. And now we're not." I explain. "Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

His hazel eyes gleam with confusion. "Not really. I loved you then, and I love you now. There's no change in that."

"Okey. Let me say this bluntly. I don't believe you. And I think that's impossible." I laugh, turning around, to finally walk away from the crazy boy who's just messed up my whole well being.

"What if I prove it?"

My head whips around to see a curious smirk printed on his lips, and his large eyes full of hope.

I laugh. "Oh yeah? How are you going to prove that?"

"Easy really." He smiles. "And then you'll fall in love with me as well."

I couldn't help it. I bursted into laughs.

"You know what Ren? I'd like to see you try."

And with that. I walked away. Away from the first boy I ever truly liked, and away from the first boy who's ever said he's loved me.

I'll prove him wrong.

Because life's truly a random dice.

And I know how to win.

Not edited!!!!!!

Hello, hello!

What did you think? Leave me a comment.
(And a vote, only if you'd like c: )

So, do you think Raina knows how to win?

Do you think Renegade can win her over?

Well, you'll find out eventually.

Hope you have a great day and read my lil beans! Thank you to much for everything.
-Nisa

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