"You know, you could of told them no! That would of been the smart answer!" Clare's voice blared from the speaker phone.

"That's what i told him!" Isabel shouted before bringing more junk out to the bins. Callum sighed, leaning over the phone.

"Their an unstoppable force of nature Clare, you know that!" Callum rushed around a little as it was Wednesday and the house was only half decent looking.

"If you really want me to come back i'll get driving now!" She offered but Callum declined once again.

"No no, you've got tests. You're the smart one, remember?" Callum watched Isabel dump stuff into the bins out the front. "Hey, there is something you can do though..."

"Yes?"

"Call Jake." Callum waited for a response but the phone was dead. "Look i know he hasn't been answering but just send him a tex-"

"I've sent him a billion texts and i called him a trillion times...." Clare got a bit angry. Clare wasn't just angry with Jake but with herself too.

She hadn't been there when Jake left and maybe if she was, she could of done something. It had all happened so quick and everyone seemed like they were doing nothing about it.

"Cal you said it yourself, he's interested in us anymore. He doesn't seem to care about anything or anybody. If i'm honest he's being a selfish bast-"

"Would you just try?"

Clare puffed out air but responded this time. "Yes yes fine..." Callum smiled even though obviously Clare couldn't see that. "Anything else i need to know?"

Callum contemplated telling Clare about Cegs for a split second but decided against it. "Nope..nope nothing else. It's just weird...cleaning the house without mom and dad..."

"You know..." Callum chuckled a little. "You know how mom used to get whenever guests were coming over...it would be full military mode..."

Clare laughed too, a little. "And you argue that no one was going to be in your room so why would it matter?"

"Sounds like me." Callum sighed. "Anyway, we better get back to it so...i'll call you soon...ok?"

Clare hung up the phone and stared out her window for half an hour. She got lost in her head as outside her window she saw two kids in the playground oppose her dorm.

She had work to do and in an hour she had a class but she couldn't help but stare at these two kids. A little boy and girl. Playing on the slide.

And she couldn't help but remember a memory from a long time back when she was 3. Jake was 4 and he taught her how to slide.

"Hey J, it's me! Leaving my a trillion and one message. You're inbox isn't full so you must be listening to me...." She sighed.

"Look i'm just looking at these two kids in a park and i'm thinking back to the playground day of 2003." She watched the two kids more intensely.

"I know you now what i'm talking about..." She laughed sadly. She looked down at her lap as tears formed in her eyes. And the realisation hit her like a brick. "Jake....I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry i wasn't there...." She puffed out air as tears rolled down her cheeks "I knew you were gonna crash at some stage because you've been so strong for us all because we all except you to be..."

The phone made a scratchy noise which Clare presumed meant the message was cut off but she continued talking.

"And i'm sorry that we except you to be the strong one. To take it all and i knew...i knew you were gonna crack...i knew..." Clare tried so stop but she couldn't.

"I should of stayed...looked after Isabel because i know you thought you needed to...because she needed you...needs you....and i thought she needed you but she just needed anyone...because now..."

"Everything's shit without them. Everything is always gonna be shit without them but without you...it's impossible and we need you to be ok so we can stop worrying about you and.."

"And start trying to fix us all because life's shit without them.... but new need to move on and we can't move on without you because we can't live anyone behind because..."

"I'm not making any sense am i?" And that's when Clare finally got on answer. A croaky voice came through phone.

"You are..."

Clare heart stopped and it was if she didn't want to scare a bird from flying away. She spoke softly. " I am?"

"Yeah, but you shouldn't have stayed..."He sounded like he was outside somewhere. "It's your responsibility to go live Clare..."

"Jake...where are you?"

He sighed for a long time and then spoke. "It's your reprehensibility to live and mine to fix me. I'm fucked up...we're all fucked up without them and we cant even come to say their names..."

"I fucked up Clare. I really fucked up...like bad and i...don't know what i'm gonna do. And i'm in a really bad place and ALL i wanna do is come back and be me but..."

"I'm so tried of being sad...and tired of being me. And i;m so sick of seeing you and Cal and Rowan and..." He paused, Clare hearing him snivel "And Isabel....i'm sick of seeing the people i love in pain..."

"I...." He stuttered "I can't be the person you guys want me to be right now...and i don't knwo if i can ever be that person again...... Because i don't remember the person i was before all this shit happened...." And he hung up but not early enough for Clare to hear him choke up.

The truck whizzed into the drive thru line and it stopped behind the grey camaro. "What do you want?"

"You know what i like."

"It's been 2 years..."Ceg's looked at his older brother in angry. "What do you want?"

After ordering and eating for 10 minutes in a parking space on the side of some highway somewhere, Pax put his burger down.

"So is one directions till around? We got news inside but they don't report on things like that..."He glanced at his little brother.

Ceg's glanced his way but didn't respond. Pax didn't seem to care and scanned his little brothers face. Silence feel on the car except for the sound of chewing.

Pax took in how old his little brother had gotten. He noticed all the changes in his face.He noticed how tall and muscle he was. He noticed how different he was. He noticed the cloud that surrounded him.

"Why are you here Cegs?"

He put down by burger. "We're gonna find you a job in the next town. We'r gonna find a place for you to stay and you're gonna stay there for...forever..."

"Wow..." Pax chuckled. "I knew you were mad but you're actually mad...i can tell because of the furrow you're eyebrows make when you're angry lil bro" He tried tapping Ceg's forehead but Ceg's pushed him away.

"He really want me gone?" Pax asked after a few minutes had pass.

"I've got stuff to get back to..."

"You mean people to get back to...i'm guessing you still hang around Jake Elliot..." Cegs didn't need to answer as Pax could read his face.

"I'll try'na help you Pax."

"No, you're trying to get rid of me bro..."

Cegs shook his head. "I can't have you..." He stopped talking and the car was silent one more. 

"Cegs, you can't just Drop me off in some town and hope i never resurface. I wanna go home...i been away for 2 years...banged up in for something did when i was young and stupi-"

"YOU'RE STILL YOUNG AND STUPID!" Cegs raised his voice. "You're still the same guy you've always BEEN!"

"Bro, i'm diff-"

"YOU KILLED A MAN!"

The car rattled with the movement of the shout and Pax sat up in his chair beside Cegs. The words stung.

"I did...not...ki-"

"YOU took another man's life. You made the decision to pull the trigger. You left the bullet fly into his chest. YOU did that. No one else..."

"It was self defenc-"

"I WAS 15 AND YOU MADE ME BURY HIS BODY. YOU GOT ME PUT IN JOUVIE FOR A MONTH AND GOT ME CAUGHT UP IN A YEAR LONG COURT CASE!!!!"

"Bruh, I didn't think-"

"YOU DIDN'T THINK WHAT? YOU DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD EFFECT ME? YOU DIDN'T THINK I'D BE FUCKED UP BY IT?" Cegs gripped the handles of the steering wheel.

"I fucked up bro..."

"Yeah, you fucked up and i paid for it, like always Pax!" Ceg's starrted the engine. "How about next time you kill a man, don't call me!"