Marinette: Hey Adrien, have you seen this? Should we send it to Kagami?

Adrien: Send it to Kagami? Marinette, she's still dating Félix. Don't you think that's a bit... roachy of us?

Marinette: What?! No! There's nothing wrong with being prepared!

Adrien: ...I suppose it is Félix

Marinette: See...you get it!

Adrien: My cousin is a little bit of a #%*!^?@!

Marinette: He definitely deserves it...I'll give them a call

Adrien: While you're at it...how about doing one for Luka?

Marinette: Green doesn't suit you, Kitty...

Adrien: Actually it does, and you know it sends you wild. The exact reason you stole my green hoodie, so you don't have to marvel at my beautiful-ness all the time...

Marinette: That's not a word

Adrien: I've invented it...dictionary definition: Adrien Agreste

Marinette: 🙄 You're lucky I like you, or I'd name a cockroach after you for that

Adrien: Name one after me? Oof, that would really sting. I'd never recover!

Marinette: The lizard would probably spit you out anyway! It doesn't like spoiled roaches! 🪳

Adrien: SPOILED! Me-ouch!

Adrien: Who's upset you?

Marinette: 🙄

Marinette: Luka and I are just good friends!

Adrien: Where have I heard that before?

Marinette: If I'm doing one for Luka, you have to do Kagami!

Adrien: Touché!!

Adrien: But seriously, who would actually use this?

Marinette: Lila 🤣 She'd name a whole swam after me

Adrien: An intrusion

Marinette: 😮 Do you need me to transform? Just say the word and I'll come and save you! No one messes with my Kitty!

Adrien: 🤣🤣 No! A group of cockroaches is called an intrusion. Makes me happy you'd be that eager to save me though.

Adrien: I always wanted to be a damsel in distress

Marinette: 😳

Adrien: But yeah, I'm sure Lila would lie to the zookeepers just to make sure her names got on every single one

Marinette: Haha! True!

Marinette: Honestly, it's a weird event, don't you think?

Adrien: Yeah, but kind of funny. You've got to admit, it's a creepy-crawly clever way to celebrate Valentine's Day

Marinette: I guess so... as long as neither of us ends up on one of those cockroaches

Adrien: You? Never. You're way too sweet to be anyone's ex-termination target.

Marinette: You really think so?

Adrien: Of course. But if anyone bugged you, I'd name a cockroach after them faster than you can say, 'Quit bugging me!'

Marinette: Aw, Adrien 🩷 That's... surprisingly sweet for such a pun-filled conversation

Adrien: What can I say? I'm just buzzing with charm.

Marinette: Okay, Mr. Charming. But now I'm curious... What do you think Monarch would do with this?

Adrien: Oh, that's easy. He'd probably name an entire colony of cockroaches after us

Marinette: All of Paris's superheroes?

Adrien: Yep. Ladybug, Chat Noir, Rena Rouge, Carapace—you name it. Though, let's be honest, he'd probably give you the biggest one

Marinette: The biggest cockroach? Why me?!

Adrien: Because you're his main pest! Always ruining his plans, stealing his akumas, and, well... just being you 😆

Marinette: Oh, great. So Monarch thinks I'm an annoying bug. Fantastic!

Adrien: If it makes you feel better, I think he'd name the smallest one after me. You know, since I always manage to slip through the cracks

Marinette: Haha! That's so true. But honestly, do you think he'd actually go for this?

Adrien: Knowing Monarch? Absolutely! He'd probably make it a whole villainous ceremony!

Marinette: Now I can't stop picturing him in his lair, holding a cockroach and cackling about revenge!

Adrien: 'Ladybug, your reign ends here! This cockroach will be your undoing!'

Marinette: Pfft! And then one of his minions has to awkwardly remind him that it's just a bug

Adrien: And he'd be like, 'IT'S A SYMBOL OF MY HATRED!'

Marinette: 😂😂😂

Marinette: Oh my gosh, I can't stop laughing. If we ever beat him, we should totally suggest this event as a post-defeat therapy idea for him

Adrien: Heh. That would really bug him!

Marinette: Out of curiosity... Would you do it...like if you'd dated one of your fangirls or something?

Adrien: Hypothetically, yes. Very hypothetically. Unless...

Marinette: Unless what?

Adrien: Unless we're naming one after Chloé...that's a certainty

Marinette: Adrien!!

Adrien: Come on! She's bossy, loud, and somehow impossible to squash. She's literally a roach in designer heels

Marinette: I feel like I should defend her, but... I can't! You're right!

Adrien: Thank you. "Roach-Chloé" feels destined for greatness

Marinette: Or destined to be eaten by a flamingo. Flamingos have the drama to match!

Adrien: True. A flamingo would probably make a whole performance out of it 🦩

Marinette: Exactly. It'd snap its beak, flip its feathers, and be like, 'And stay out!'

Adrien: Flamingos are Chloé's spirit animal. Or mortal enemy. Either way 🤷🏼

Marinette: 🤣 I tell you what, you name one after Chloé and I'll name one after Lila!

Adrien: She'd probably try to convince the zookeeper she's related to the roach.

Adrien: 'Oh, yes, I taught this roach everything it knows!'

Marinette: 'We shared a dorm in Italy. It's practically family'

Adrien: 😂😂

Adrien: Alright, so who gets to eat Roach-Lila?

Marinette: A snake. The sassier, the better. It'd roll its eyes before striking

Adrien: Snakes don't roll their eyes

Marinette: That's why we need an extra sassy one. It'll find a way!

Adrien: Fair point. Okay, last one: Mothroach. If he's doing one for us, we have to do one for him!

Marinette: Ah yes, of course, the butterfly man. Why is that so perfect?

Adrien: Sneaky, obsessed with light, and always hiding in the shadows. It just fits!

Marinette: So what eats Mothroach?

Adrien: A bat. No contest. Poetic justice

Marinette: Or... hear me out... a giant frog 🐸

Adrien: A frog? Why?

Marinette: Because it's random and humiliating. Imagine him thinking he's about to face something elegant like a bat, and then—RIBBIT. Game over!

Adrien: You're diabolical!

Marinette: And you're not? You started this whole cockroach naming business!

Adrien: Okay, but let's be real. If we went to the zoo, you'd chicken out!

Marinette: Excuse me?! I'd name like, five roaches.

Adrien: Oh yeah? Who else?

Marinette: That guy who always takes the last croissant at the bakery

Adrien: Wow! Ruthless!

Marinette: And Nathalie when she gives you extra homework for no reason

Adrien: Bold choice, but I approve ✅

Marinette: See? I'm a pro. You'd chicken out!

Adrien: Me? Never! I'd name one after my fencing instructor for making me run laps last week

Marinette: You're naming a cockroach because of cardio? That's weak, Adrien!

Adrien: Says the girl who brought up croissant theft

Marinette: That's DIFFERENT. Croissants are sacred!

Adrien: I'll make sure to note that on your zoo paperwork!

Marinette: You're the actual roach here

Adrien: And yet, you still text me. Who's the real winner?

Marinette: Definitely not me!

Adrien: I've got a couple of free hours...how about we take a trip to Texas?

Marinette: Suit up, Kitty! I'll grab Kaalki 😉

Adrien: And I'll bring my wallet!