Old wounds reopen...

Calm down, it's over...

It won't happen again.

It's over.

I didn't want to be there.

Heart was thumping from fear.
I felt it all again.

Old wounds reopen...

The loneliness, it will never leave me...

My old friend...

Only several seconds brought back several years.

I can't reach out...
My memories are blocked by the black ones.

I fear my past.

I never had one.

And the urge to forget just keeps bleeding on me...

Old wounds reopen...

I can't just be when I am nobody.

I am my achievements.
I've only been my achievements.
I'll always be my achievements.

As far as I get, they're faster.

I only remember the bitter moments.
I only remember how I failed.
I only remember how they failed me.
I only remember how I coped.

Old wounds reopen...

I want to forget everything and everyone.
I don't want to be known by anyone.
I want to be on my own, lonely.
That's what I'm used to.

All it takes is their faces and I blackout.

The urge to forget just keeps bleeding on me...

I replay the darkest moments until they all turn black.

I'm not meant to be here.

I keep looking at the mirror and crying.
I don't understand why.

I just like making myself hurt.

I'm the one nobody should care about.
I'm the one nobody should know about.
I'm the one people should forget about.

I want to be a generic nobody.
I want to be forgotten.
I want to be gone.

Old wounds reopen...

You can't blame me, I've been in the business for over 10 years.

That's all I'm used to.
That's all I've learned.

My identity is non-existent.
I don't know who I am.
So nobody should.

I can't help but rethink my values after hearing everyone else's words.
It seems my expectations for the world are incredibly low.
My definition of right or wrong are blurred.

Old wounds reopen...

I try to concentrate on the ground, but I'm not even at the edge.

It's as if I keep growing this way.

I don't even have to talk.

It doesn't matter.

My first thought is always about how I can use it to relieve the pain.

And my last thought is always about how I'm wrecked.

I simply don't understand the difference between good and bad.

Old wounds reopen...

I couldn't believe I actually have the right to play.
Then why don't I do it?

Because my definition of fun is working.
Projects.
Stuff to get done.

That's just how I like it, but is it?

The urge to go and talk to your friends...

But your friends are in your imagination.

And the urge to leave your friends behind,
before they leave you behind...

The urge to take what doesn't belong to me...

The urge to lie when asked about myself...

The urge to cut the contract before it gets deeper...

The urge to leave and escape whenever that chances rise...

The urge to lose everything and everyone...

The urge to forget everything and everyone...

The urge to lose my grip and leave it all behind...

The urge to reprogram my mind and restart my life...

The urge to recreate my life in a darker light...

The urge to lose the brightest days, if I had any...

The urge to keep it all hidden, despite the innocence...

The urge to plan about my absence and isolation...

The urge to isolate myself...

The urge to sabotage it all...

The urge to lose myself...

To the winds and never come back...

All in the form of dust...

Reopen old wounds...

I don't want to be here.

Thoughts are pointless when you have water in your mouth.

I don't imagine it.
I will be who I am and who I was forever.

They'll forget me before they get to know me.
They'll remember me before they get to know me.
I'm not meant to be known.
I'm meant to be erased.

I don't believe a word they say.
Why are they saying it?
What's their motivation?
What do they want from me?
Nothing more than my consciousness.

Old wounds reopen...

And when I bled,
I saw the sun red,
But little did I know,
The sun never cared...

I don't want to talk.
I never want to talk.
I don't want to end up in an office again...

And when you think you've conquered all your demons, they've actually only retreated, so they can attack on your army and destroy it, then be your masters...

Old wounds reopen...

I avoid saying, so you don't hear wrongly.

Sometimes, the best decision is forgetting everything and everyone.

But then again, my definition of right and wrong are blurred.

When I try to live,
I frown.
When I try to breathe,
I drown.
When I try to die,
I snow.

The darkest pits are where I feel the safest, because they're the places I've been all the recent years.

I can't empathize,
I can't sympathize,
I can traumatize.

Old wounds reopen...

I'm not going to be here anymore.

Relax!
It's over!

I'm safe.
I just have to avoid the same mistakes.
I just have to avoid trusting people.
I just have to avoid helping people.
Before they hurt me.

I'll live as a hermit.
I'll die as a hermit.
I'll be forgotten as a hermit.

I don't want anybody to know me.
I don't want anybody to love me.
I don't want anybody to care for me.
I don't want anybody to help me.
I am on my own.
I'll do it on my own.
I've got this under control.
I'm used to this.

I don't like the smell of smiles.
I don't like the sight of laughter.
I don't like the sense of goodness.
Darkness is always under their masks.
It's a fake.
I believe nothing.

I know they're all lying, they just want to use me.
I know they'll leave me when they use me.
I know I'll cry when they use me.
I know I'll retreat when they use me.
I know I'll be stuck in the same cycle when they use me...

Old wounds reopen...

And I'm not willing to relive the pain.