"What do you mean?" I asked as Colby was busily hitting buttons and staring at the computer screen.

"I'm technically not supposed to tell you this, but I think it's important." Colby began slowly. He abruptly stopped typing and glanced over at me, raising his right brow. "First off, I can see in your sim, not your thoughts, but your actions. There are three basic ways a sim can go, with very little difference. People's reactions can vary, but they all will fall into 5 basic reaction patterns. We learned all about this when we were being instructed how to safely run these exams." He sighed and continued. "Nobody ever has had a simulation like that...ever. Your simulation was almost causing the machine to malfunction. I nearly called in an Erudite leader because I wasn't sure if your brain could handle the emotions and scenes it was dealing with." He paused and looked at me again to see how I was taking it.

I have no idea how I'm taking it, except that it's scaring me.

Colby turned his body completely towards me before continuing.

"Normally, strange things happen in a sim. But never graphic. It always stops before it gets graphic. And the diamond..." his voice trailed off as he glanced back at the computer. "The diamond is a entirely new concept. The little girl's interaction with you. The way the diamond was in her place..." he shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck with his left hand. He stopped rubbing and looked at me again.

"And one more thing."

He pulled up my results on the computer.

"See this chart?" I walked over to look and saw a graph going up and down.

"This is your percentage of Amity, Candor and Abnegation."

I studied it and I felt my heart drop.

Abnegation had the highest percentage.

But Colby was still talking, "they're negligible in percentage, anyone can have a trace of another faction, kind of like how you will act like the faction you grew up in simply because you grew up in it. But here...here is Erudite."

I looked at the screen confused. Erudite had skyrocketed above the other three factions. I covered my face with my hands: Erudite? Really?! I...I...

"And Dauntless," I heard Colby finish, so I lowered my hands to look. There was Dauntless, above Erudite in percentage, but not by much.

I am Dauntless.

I felt fire ignite in my veins. A mixture of relief, fear, anxiety and excitement nearly made me faint.

I looked up at Colby and he shrugged. "If Erudite and Dauntless were identical in percentage, you would be considered Divergent. And that's not okay." Fear prickled up my neck. "But because Dauntless has an obvious lead in the test, it will say the results are Dauntless and not show Erudite at all."

Colby began walking towards a door on the other side of the room I hadn't noticed before.

"Are you okay with everything I told you? You can tell no one or we will both be in big trouble."

"No, I totally get it, and I really appreciate you telling me. I think I needed to understand why that scene was so...realistically unreal."

Colby nodded as he opened the door. "It's probably because you are so brave and smart, with very little input from the other ways of thinking, other than selflessness. The test ended up being able to handle you, but barely."

Colby held the door for me and as I passed by him, he grabbed my arm, forcing me to look at him.

"Remember," his black eyes stark against his white face, "your result is Dauntless, but you can never breathe a word to anyone of our conversation." I went to answer him but he shoved me out the door and shut it quickly.

I blinked a few times, trying to process what had just happened. As I turned from the door, I looked down at my hands again and it was as though I could still see the blood caking my knuckles. I shuddered involuntarily and began to walk briskly away. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I didn't want to see anyone. I needed to go and think.

***

"How did you make out with your exam?" My brother Lance looked at me across the table with his "casually excited" face. He was too cool to actually be excited or interested, but I was his sister and I could see right through the act. He was all but exploding with impatience to hear what I had to say.

"Well, I'm not supposed to say anything, but I will say that it is not what you expect and you will make it through a lot easier than you think you will." I smiled at him and winked as I took another bite of supper.

He pursed his lips and thought for a moment before giving a curt nod and starting into his food again.

"Lily, are you gonna live with us forever or are you going to go away?" I choked on my food until I coughed while my youngest brother Lytle looked up at me from his seat on my left. I felt tears sting my eyes as I grabbed for a glass of water, and it wasn't from the coughing. I just hoped to goodness my other siblings had not seen it.

After getting my breath back, I looked into Lytle's puzzled blue-grey eyes and said, "I can't talk about that Lytle. You will have to say goodbye to me tomorrow before school, just in case, okay?"

Lacy looked up at me and chuckled, "don't worry Lytle, Lily will always stay with us forever! Who's going to braid my hair if she lived somewheres else?" She got down from her chair and ran around the table to crawl up in my lap. She snuggled her head into my chest and kept eye contact with Lytle. "She has to stay, so don't worry."

The nausea came over me in waves and I looked at my parents as I lifted Lacy off my lap and muttered something about being excused and fled to my room. I shut the door and collapsed face first on my bed, stuffing the pillow around my face. I didn't care if I smothered, it would be easier than making this decision. And I desperately needed to make sure no one heard me cry as I sobbed and sobbed.

I felt myself about to gag, so I started to try to calm myself. I tried breathing in, breathing out. 

Breath in, two, three, four, breath out, two, three four. I felt my emotions ease and I was tired. So, so tired.

Just as I was drifting off, I heard a light knock on the door. It didn't sound like Lacy, so I told them to come in. My mom entered slowly and closed the door behind her. When I didn't move she came over and sat on the bed beside me and put her hand on my back.

"Lily? Honey, it's ok," she began to rub my back. "You have a massive decision to make tomorrow. We explained to the younger ones," she paused, "again, that you may not live with us anymore and that they won't know until tomorrow night; that tomorrow morning could be the last time they see you for a long, long time."

Mom went silent and kept rubbing my back soothingly. My thoughts were running wildly but I finally rolled over and looked at her, "how did they take it?"

Mom sighed lightly as she moved her hand from my waist to her own lap and looked at her knees.

"Surprisingly, Lacy is perfectly fine. Lytle on the other hand..." Mom let her voice trail off and looked back up at me and bit her bottom lip as she tugged her head to the left in a half shrug.

My Mom was so wise. As I looked at her wide green eyes and chestnut waves, I realized again how young and beautiful my Mom was. She was only 17 when she had me, it was crazy to think that she was already losing some of her children out of the nest at an age where some people were just beginning their families. Now she sat looking, not at me, but through me, chewing on her lip slightly, a habit I had also acquired and was now doing as well.

I propped myself up on my elbows and tilted my head to the side. "Can you see if Lytle wants to come here and see me?"

Mom's bright white teeth showed when she smiled. "I'll go get him. He'll like that."

Mom left and I sat up. A few moments passed and I heard whispers coming from the other side of the door. It opened and in walked Lytle with Mom gently guiding him in. Mom closed the door behind him, leaving me alone with my little brother. His eyes were puffy, his face was red and shiny and his pout nearly reached his chin.

He took a staggered gasp as he looked at me, showing how hard he had been crying. I felt my eyes prickle again as I stood up and opened my arms. Without a moment's hesitation, Lytle ran to me and I dropped to my knees to hold his little body close.

"You-you, c-can't go-o-o, Lily!!" He cried, burying his face in my shoulder as he sobbed.

"I know, I know, shh, Lytle, Buddy, it's ok, shh..." I adjusted my legs so I was sitting cross legged and pulled him into my lap and rocked him back and forth, hushing and soothing him.

My tears mixed with his as he cried. This was killing me, but I knew he needed this. He needed to say goodbye like this, as hard as it was for both of us. Lytle was extremely sensitive. He and I had the same spirit, the same way of looking at life. Even as little as Lacy was, she was much more analytical. Lytle used to come up to me and ask me things like "why did butterflies cry?" When I asked him what he meant, I realized he thought when their antenna lowered, they were crying. I was in awe at his perception and the interesting way he processed his world.

His crying had slowed, so I pulled his head up from my chest and cupped his small face in my hands.

"Lytle, I love you, you know that, right?"

He snuffled and nodded his head vigorously.

"And you love me, right?" He threw his little arms around my neck and nearly made me fall over. I giggled at his gesture and hugged him back. I felt him relax, so I pushed him away from me again and finished what I had to say.

"So when people are family and they love each other, they can never really be apart, you know why?"

He shook his head and let out a sniffly, "no."

"Because you will never forget them." I smoothed back his ruffled hair as his blue eyes looked into mine with all seriousness. "See, you will always be in my heart, and I will always be in yours, so it's like we will always be together!"

I could literally see the thundercloud start to lift from his face. "And besides," I smiled at him, "you can always come and visit me from time to time!" He didn't need to know right now that he'd be lucky to see me once a year.

"I can come visit?!" His eyes brightening with the words.

"Yeah, sometimes!" He leapt back up and wrapped his arms around my neck, snuggling in again as I held him. I began to hum as I stroked his head.

As I hummed, I noticed his breathing became softer and slower until a few minutes had passed and I knew he was asleep. I carefully wrapped my arms under him and shakily stood up in my darkening room. I went to my door and opened it with my knee (yes, my knee...a skill you learn when you have four younger siblings) and stepped into the hall, only to nearly bump into my Mom.

She was standing there with silent tears on her face, but a smile on her lips. She mouthed a "thank you" to me as she went to take Lytle from me. I stopped her and whispered, "one last time." Mom nodded and I scooted past her with my sleepy bundle down the hall and into his room. Lance and Lawrence were already in the room, reading or doing homework with the bit of light left from the sun's final rays.

I placed Lytle carefully on the bed and shimmied his covers out from underneath him. Then I pulled his socks and shoes off and lifted the quilt over him to cover him.

He hiccuped in his sleep and I bent over and kissed his forehead. I straightened and moved across the room to sit on Lance's bed.

Lance moved his legs towards the wall so I could sit beside him and I let out a long sigh. I looked from Lance to Lawrence and back to Lance as they stared back at me. Lawrence shut his book and came over to sit on the other side of me on Lance's bed.

I just looked down at my hands and wondered what to say. Then I felt myself being embraced on either side. I looked at my brothers and wrapped my arms around the two of them in a massive hug. I needed my family, but I could not stay in Amity. I needed to know what they thought.

"Guys...what if I did leave?" I asked cautiously.

Lawrence and Lance leaned back simultaneously and looked at me.

Lance shook his head, "why do you think we're hugging you? We know you're leaving, we've even got a bet going with Dad to see which faction your going to go to with."

"What, really?" I felt relief and astonishment wash over me. "A bet with Dad?"

"Well, we were sad one day about it," Lawrence began, "and Dad said that we should make a game out of it. So we all guessed different factions and decided to take our sadness and turn it into happiness for your decision."

"Winner gets bragging rights," Lance added.

"You guys are the best...I-I'm going to miss you so much!" And they tackled me in one last hug before I got up and went to my own room...for the last time.

So...what did you think? Please comment so I can grow as a writer. Constructive criticism is always welcomed :)