ALL ERIC's POV (YE)

          After numerous rounds of me and Kaela stealing the smarties from that money haggling Jewish dick and getting the candy we wanted, we headed back to our classrooms for one last intermission before we went home. Assuming that we were gonna laugh more, Ms Choksundik gave us an assignment. And it tended to everyone's amusement. Even Kaela's! We all had a turn at teacher of the week and each of us also could partner up. Me and Kaela partnered up immediately upon hearing so and took the paper that the new teacher passed out with a number printed in a box in the top right. We were number 9 in the student of the week list. So then, we told Ms. Choksundik looked at the number we got, she wrote us down on a checklist. "okay class just for a fair warning we will be teaching whatever subject that you like! You can call yourself a professor at the subject essentially even if you're an amateur. But under no circumstances will you have the privilege to teach anything not appropriate for our school. Politics is an acception too so don't get cocky saying 'can we talk about the president?' No! you can't be talking about something like that for any reason. Do we all get this class?" We all answered a 'yes' depending on who we were. 

          We reached the bus to take us home and meet Wendy, Bebe and Heidi up in front of the bus. Kaela knew what was gonna happen to them if they scared me enough and surely they did scare me. My knees were buckling and I was nervous one of them was gonna throw some at me for being myself or ugly in their eyes. Oh it was a fear of mine. I remember when Wendy kicked my ass to the point where blood was pouring from my head and Kaela saw my beat up face and broken body. She was scared that I almost died from that beating and she shook with anger when she saw the blood on Wendy's hands, face and frizzled hair. She yelled "I'm finished!" She was right behind her and with a ear-splitting, deep gutturally, beastly yell that withstands a HEAVY Texan accent! "OH HOE YOU AIN'T DONE YET! NOT A SLIVER INCH DONE!"  

          And Kaela threw her into a headlock that choked her super hard. She then stood Wendy up, now dizzy and hyperventilating, she tried to throw a punch at Kaela but all she got was a HUGE, blood splattering punch to the face. I saw 4 teeth come out! FOUR TEETH! Straight from the root! Kaela took her foot and smacked her to the floor with one push. Obviously pushing a lot of air outta her lungs. Kaela soon put one on her crotch and pushed hard. Causing pain to erupt. She then spoke in that same heavy tone. "You better watch your ass out Wendy. Cause the next time you try to kill my boy, I wont hesitate to throw you into the bull pen with nothing but your clothes on." 

          Kaela then left her to deal with the pain of surviving a Texan's wrath and grabbed me bridal style to carry me inside. She helped me to the nurses office and asked the nurse to take a look at my body to make sure and enough said, she made sure I was safe by staying with me in the room. With blood covering her hands too.

          Now, here in the moment of uncertainty, Kaela asked the trios. "Could y'all move now? Me and Eric need a seat." The trio of girls fought back with Wendy taking charge. "after all the things Cartman did in the past and even now, you're still with him?!" Kaela said so "Yes. I will still stay with him because I love him. For the way he is. Even if he's evil to you, he's a special recruit to me. Now what you three girls are doing now are just being Penis Hagglers. Girls that want the dick and dick only.  And I know I will protect my honey from all that nonsense." My heart fluttered at Kaela's insight to the current event. The girls looked at each other and got pissed with an embarrased look. They all said to themselves in unison "PENIS HAGGLERS?!" Kaela nodded and shoved the girls aside so we could be on the bus. 

          We of course sat in the back usually but we had company. Craig and Tweek were there sitting in the seat to the right of us. I welcomed Craig "Yo Craig. How's the relationship going?" Somehow Craig opened up. "It's been amazing even though I hate you less than normal." Tweek intervened to ask Craig "Hey honey, did we get the paper towels for the party?" I got confused and I asked "Party? What party?" Then again Tweek looked at us excitedly "Haven't you heard?! Me and Craig are starting a midwifing business!" My jaw dropped and so did Kaela's but Kaela did dare ask "How much are you making doing this business?" Tweek then told her "about 300 a week!" I basically had a mini anxiety attack of excitement due to that much money "300?!....no way..." Craig nodded. "today's gender is revealed to be a boy so we did our research and well, we found some Pinterest ideas and we came up with this for a reveal." They showed us a picture of what seemed to be a leather book with blue pages in it but when the book is closed, the papers pile up to show a rainbow metallic color. "We came up with this idea because the mom was a writer in many stories that are popular in middle schools across the country and she needed a fix up notebook that reminds her of her child and her love for writing." Kaela was hysterical and said "Oh my gosh it's adorable!" She cuddled me and shed a couple of adored tears. "y'know Eric, when we were talking last night about a child and how I would not do it on my period and shit? well........" She blushed and I blushed too. I held her hand and put my head on hers. I told her "I promise to pound the living SHIT out of your pussy so we can have a child. Or even more than one by chance. I also promise to be the best dad ever....maybe better than yours or my metaphorical one that....never s-seemed t-t-to come h-h-h-ho-ho-home." That part hit me hard and made me sob 'till days end. Little did I hear that heartbeat of hers to help calm me down from crying and stuff. I had a little sense that Craig tapped me on the shoulder to give me his business card. He fist bumped me and said "I'll be cool with you...i guess. Call me when you're ready for your first appointment." I smiled and so did she. Some tears still fell with a subtle question from my dearest. "You ready Eric?" I sat up and slang an arm to help her up to my lap and slid up her shirt to expose part of her belly so that I could rub it. Knowing I'm saying 'I was born ready for this.' She knew of course and said "I knew you were ready for the responsibility." 

          Later that night we were wide awake watching movies that got me into the mood. I threw the box of condoms across the room and helped myself to her kissing me. She was in heat for the job too. She took dominance and made out for what seemed hours until that's when she slipped it and touched the tip of my dick. Not gonna tell you what happened after that because this was the point where it told me "I'm 'gon be a big-boned, strong daddy." And sure enough the next morning, Kaela was in the bathroom taking a test that took 2 minutes for results. Quite faster than normal for a pregnancy test. I heard a giggle and a blunt 'oh..my god. it's actually time.' She came back out and I saw the test......

.

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it recorded positive...............There it was ...............staring right back at me. Wish held to be true. I called up Tweek and told him "it's a success....baby is in incubation now." Tweek heard and then made the most motherly comment. "OH MY GOD!!!! CONGRATS!!! We'll see you by the 2 week mark!" I replied back to him. "good. we'll see you then." I hung up and got in my sweat bottoms and baggy shirt like Kaela did and went downstairs to grab a cup of caramel coffee. She made herself a cup of decaffeinated iced tea for herself and had some toast to add on. As everything was cooking I twirled her around and got on my knees to kiss her tummy since the child/children was/were starting to grow in there. Kaela giggled and lifted me up to poke mine. It tickled and poked me more to grab a good laugh outta me. "I found a good poking ground. Might as well use it!" She said to me to make me laugh. I joked back "well I found a good finger grazing spot; For the 9 months and onward." I kissed her and twirled her back around so I could move my hands around and up her shirt, so that I could rub my hands where the child would grow. She then continued to prep her breakfast to eat. When she was finished cooking and we sat back on the couch. I grabbed my coffee and placed that on the coffee table so I could throw a blanket over her body so she was cozy. She then snuggled up and laid her head back and spread out on the cushions to become a big old floppy 'X'. I looked at her eating that slice of buttered toast in big bites and I also saw that tea being chugged faster than I had once thought. She was thirsty after all from last nights.....'hardwood painting'. Then when I looked down, I had noticed her shirt kinda slid up from adjusting on the couch and it just desired me to lay on her body even though, I could crush the embryo upon notice because of my size. So, I just stick to her allowing her head on my lap. She gladly allowed such a rub by spreading her arms and up behind my hips. The shirt lifted a little more so that her belly button was just peaking. And I went in for a rub all over her midriff. She almost looks like she's gonna pass out although that is not the case. She's just merely relaxing and enjoying every bit that comes around. And I'm gonna enjoy every part of it through the thickest of storms, to the thinnest of linens that we buy for the future nursery. And I can't wait.

AN: longest i've ever done for cartman's POV is this one with 1,836 words stacked up in total. Man and it's like what 9:32 p.m.??? Don't give 1 or more shits about my sleep at this point........................or any point for that matter. 

Also remember.....KAMAN IS AN UNAVOIDABLE SHIP!