Dear Angelika,

I am shaking. I do not know how I am managing to write in this state, it seems impossible. Yet I am so desperate to get these words out that somehow, I am finding a way.

Tonight, was not a good night, it was not a good show. Somehow, I knew that was going to be the case before we even got out there. I could feel something bad in the air as soon as we entered this town.

Maybe I could have told someone, I might've put a stop to this, but who would listen to me? I am still the new girl after all. Someone who hasn't been around for long enough to know how things really go. I knew that no one would listen to me, so I kept my fears to myself.

I don't know if I shall be doing that again, I have never experienced anything so terrifying in my life.

The crowd wasn't our usual, they were drunk and rambunctious before they even came near to us. Every single person seemed to have a glint in their eye, a desire for something that we definitely don't normally offer.

I did what I could to stay in the background, I didn't want anyone to notice me, yet that seemed to make me even more appealing to these people who turned out to be no better than animals.

Blood was shed tonight. One of the contortionists was killed and I heard some other terrible things happened to the girls who travel with us, I know I did not get it the worst by far...yet I have only been through my own experience, so I can only know how much that terrified me.

Four men grabbed me. They pulled me here there and everywhere, covering me with bruises. I can see the dots of purple and gray covering the skin of my arms now. They tried to tie me to a pole, but I fought like hell, kicking out with everything I have. A survival instinct told me that if I lost all the upper hand I would never be the same again.

I even bit one of the men, drawing blood.

That earned me a slap around the cheek, one that continues to sting with a red-hot heat now. But at least they stop trying to tie me up. They did tear my beautiful blue dress though and got a glimpse of my nipple.

Thankfully, I found some inner strength and I think that was you, sister. You helped me to fight, to survive, to get through the worst night of my life so far. So, for that, I have to thank you, Angelika.

We were going to stay here for another night, but thankfully now we have decided to move on. I don't have the heart to perform here again. I just couldn't do it.

I will be somewhere else when I write again and this time I hope it will be with good news.

Lots of love,

Forever grateful,

Diamonique.