(y/n) - your name

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I stand there frozen outside the headquarters before I whip my head around to see Levi already disappear inside.

Did he... what just-he actually-

"-huh!?" I turn pink, my fingers brushing against the spot where I tried to remember the soft feeling of Levi's lips on my cheek.

"Why do you look like someone threw water at you and you're melting?" I blink and look to see Hanji peering her head out the window, a mischievous grin on her face.

"Nothing, nothing!" I shake my head, trying to keep my face calm as I walk into headquarters to see Hanji standing in the hallway waiting for me.

"Doesn't look like nothing. Your whole face is pink!" I walk past Hanji, trying to head back to the Christmas party that the soldiers were having.

I try to calm my raging heart as Hanji drapes an arm around my shoulder. "Maybe cause I was out in the cold." I huff out but I knew Hanji somehow had a sixth sense for things.

"Sure you are. It probably had nothing to do with Levi and you huh?"

"Were you spying on us!?" I look at Hanji wide-eyed as she starts jumping up and down around me.

"So there is something going on with you and shorty! I knew it! My OTP is coming true!"

"Hanji stop!" I grab her by her shoulders but she was still jittery. "There's nothing going on-"

"-that's a load of shit and you know it! Levi has a thing for you! I saw it the minute he caught you in the library."

"He-wait what?" Hanji curses under her breath and I grip her shoulders tight to make sure she can't leave. "How did you know that?"

"I may or may not have installed cameras..." I almost miss the sentence and I glare at the scientist before letting her go.

"You what!? Where else have you installed them!? Why are you watching us!?"

"Shush my baby child! I need to make sure Levi is good to you-which I know he will be-before I let you off to live your life with him." Hanji starts crying like an emotional mother and I facepalm.

"You better take down those cameras or I'm telling Levi." I huff out, cheeks flaring in embarrassment of what other things Hanji might have seen before I open the doors to the cafeteria to see everyone singing and dancing.

"Sure! Just do one thing for me." Hanji requests and I raise a brow at her as she leads me to the front where some of the scouts were playing instruments together while others danced. "(y/n) here is going to sing us a sing!" Hanji suddenly screams out and I look at her.

"Hanji no-"

"-Hanji yes!" Everyone suddenly starts cheering for me and I beg the crazed scientist to not make me do this.

"I can't sing! I'm terrible at it!"

"My sweet sweet (y/n), you're an amazing singer! Remember I have proof and I can show people." my eye twitches in annoyance, realising Hanji was blackmailing me with the camera footage of my little concert in the library.

"You motherfucker." I hiss out but Hanji just cackles at me, knowing I was going to admit defeat.

"(y/n)! (y/n)! (y/n)! (y/n)! (y/n)!" The scouts all start chanting my name and I look at them wearily, taking in a deep breath when the band starts playing a song. 

The violin starts off, the rest of the instruments following in to create an upbeat melody. "Years ago when I was younger, I kinda liked a boy I knew." I started singing softly, tapping my foot to the beat of the song when I realised which song it was.

"He was mine and we were sweethearts. That was then, but then it's true." I winked at the boys as they all whistled around me, the beat dropping as I clearly sang the chorus.

"I'm in love with a fairytale, even though it hurts." I looked around the room and my eyes catch Levi's as I sang the words to him, suddenly swept up in the arms of a soldier. "'Cause I don't care if I lose my mind, I'm already cursed." Everyone cheered and I laughed in joy as the soldier and I danced around the room to the song. 

I get passed from one soldier to another, dancing with everyone around the cafeteria. "Every day we started fighting, every night we fell in love." A soldier spun me around towards a table and I jump up on it, sitting on top of it next to Levi. "No one else could make me sadder, but no one else could lift me high above." I sang to the soldiers around me as if I was telling them a story but I kept my eyes on Levi as he calmly sipped his tea while looking up at me. "I don't know what I was doin' but suddenly we fell apart." I jump down from the table and turn around, walking backwards as Levi turned to watch me.

"Nowadays, I cannot find him but when I do, we'll get a brand new start." I sang for Levi, my attention on him as the soldiers around us all stood up, clapping their hands loudly and thumping their feet.

My heart raced as Levi kept his eyes on me, an unrecognisable look in his eyes and I quickly turn around to prevent melting under his heated gaze. "I'm in love with a fairytale even though it hurts." The soldiers suddenly burst into song with me, all dancing together in pairs. I get swept up again in the storm and get passed around different soldiers to dance with. "'Cause I don't care if I lose my mind, I'm already cursed." I land in the middle of the cafeteria, watching the soldiers all laugh and enjoy themselves but I suddenly get swarmed with the overwhelming sense of sadness and regret. 

The deafening violin was all I could hear, only disappearing when I suddenly feel someone grab my hand gently and I look behind me to see Levi holding my hand. "He's a fairytale, yeah." I sang softly as the soldiers around me belted out the words instead, the world coming to a slow stop as all I saw was Levi. "Even though it hurts." He takes a step closer to me and I could feel my heart ringing in my ears as he looked at me softly, placing his hands on my cheeks. No one paid us attention, it was just us in our little bubble against the world and I lean into Levi's hand.

I look up at Levi as he stared at me, that same unfamiliar but warm look in his eyes as he held me while the music played around us. His thumb brushed against my cheek and I stare wide-eyed at the small smile on his lips. I suddenly flinch when Reiss' words hit me again, a constant reminder and I step away from Levi's warm hold.

My heart breaks seeing the flash of hurt in his eyes but it disappears quickly as I walk backwards towards the stage. "'Cause I don't care if I lose my mind..." Levi's arms drop to his sides and I frown sadly as he leaves the cafeteria.

I can't hurt him anymore. I need to stop this...

The song came to a slow stop and everyone abrupted into loud applause, some even asking for an encore. I quickly get off stage, heading straight for the exit but I get intervened by a familiar titan lover.

"Did my eyes deceive me or did I just see you have a moment with shorty!?" Hanji bounces up to me, draping an arm around my shoulder. I shrug it off and she frowns at me. "What's wrong? Why do you look so sad? Is it Levi? Did he hurt my baby!?" I shake my head, holding her back as she was about to run after him.

"It's not him who's hurting me... It's the other way around..." I sigh out and Hanji frowns at me, holding my cheeks in her hands.

"(y/n), what's wrong? You don't seem yourself." I take Hanji's hands off me and she purses her lips. "You're worrying me (y/n)."

"Hanji, can you promise one thing for me."

"Uh sure."

"Can you look after Levi for me when I'm not around."

"Hey now, why does it sound like you're leaving?" Hanji nervously chuckles, slapping my back. "Why do I need to keep that promise when you can do that yourself. Plus, I bet he'll let you look after him instead of me."

"Just promise me. If I'm not here, stay alive and look after each other. He can't lose another person he loves." Hanji stops laughing, realising that I wasn't joking.

"Are you leaving (y/n)?" I shake my head and sigh out but smile at Hanji.

"Now why would I leave my favourite bestie huh? I love you too much to do that. I would never do that even if I had the choice." I grin at Hanji and lying as she slowly nods. "I'm going to head to bed early ok." I nod towards the exit.

"Ok. Goodnight (y/n)." Hanji brings me into a big hug, almost squeezing the air out me as I wheezed for air when she lets me back down on the ground.

"Y-yeah, goodnight Hanji." I wave and walk down the hallway, wrapped in deafening silence and darkness. I stop when I reach a familiar door, leaning my head against it and sighing out. 

Levi's door...

"I can't let you get close to me... I won't put you in any more pain." I whisper out into the night and I take a step back, my heart screaming at me to open the door and find Levi to comfort him knowing he was upset. "Even if it hurts me, especially when I don't have a choice..." I mumble out, backing away from the door and heading towards my room instead.

"I'm already cursed."