Spiderpaw was certain he wouldn't be able to get any shut-eye in the medicine cat den that night. He hadn't heard any cats speak since he had left the medicine cat's den, but he couldn't blame anyone. He wasn't in the mood for talking either. The camp was pretty much empty, the CedarClan cats inside their dens. He suspected no cat would be able to sleep,
instead he thought most of them must have been conversing inside the warrior's den. He felt a strange emptiness inside him. As rude as the apprentice was to him, he couldn't help but miss his presence.
He thought he was alone, until he felt a thick claw tap him on his shoulder. Spiderpaw whipped around, and nearly missed his breath when he saw the huge CedarClan deputy sitting behind him.
Although Spiderpaw suddenly felt sick to his stomach, he didn't let himself flinch. Instead, before the warrior could speak, Spiderpaw shut his eyes.
"Rocktail, I'm so so sorry about..."
The grey tom cut him off, his voice so dark, yet in a tone he had never heard before.
"Spiderpaw, sit down."
Spiderpaw looked up at Rocktail, trying not to let his shaking overcome him. Not wanting to disrespect the deputy, he sat down cautiously and tried to meet his stone cold eyes.
"You seem very tense around me." Rocktail spoke, his voice portraying an emotion Spiderpaw could not recognise. "I've noticed ever since you came to stay."
"I haven't been tense," Spiderpaw argued timidly. "Being in a new camp has shaken me up, that's all."
"That's perfectly understandable," he heard Rocktail continue. "But I want you to understand that no matter rivalries our Clans face, we have considered you one of us since you came."
For a moment, Spiderpaw recited Rocktail's words in his mind, sure he had misheard him.
"I want to tell you how grateful I am for how you've treated my son."
"G-Grateful?" Spiderpaw stammered, suddenly paranoid to think he had potentially insulted the warrior. "I mean, any medicine cat would do the same."
"I don't just mean taking care of Ashpaw. I mean the way you went all the way to the Pool of Stars just to speak to his mother."
Spiderpaw felt an urge of shame when Rocktail looked away. "I was devastated when Oceanfur told me you didn't find her."
"I was sad too," Spiderpaw murmured. "I just hope Ashpaw is settled into StarClan by a cat he trusts just as much."
Rocktail looked back at him after a second, and Spiderpaw felt convinced that the warrior was trying to hide emotion. But in his eyes, Spiderpaw could nearly read what he had failed to say.
"You must really miss her."
"Of course I do," Rocktail meowed. "From what you've heard from Echostar though, I'm sure you don't understand."
Spiderpaw felt guilty for telling the truth. "I think Echostar misses her as much as you do. Things went wrong, but I wasn't there, so I wouldn't be fair to judge only hearing one side of the story."
"You're wise beyond your words, young Spiderpaw." Rocktail meowed. "A perfect trait for a medicine cat to have. Oceanfur has told me how much he's going to miss having you by his side."
"I'm going to miss him too," Spiderpaw assured. "He's taught me so much. When I came here, I was so scared. Then I met Jaggedclaw, and Oceanfur, even Mothspring and Muskstar, and they all made me feel so welcome..."
"That's how we wanted you to feel." Rocktail continued. "We knew you were taking time out of your warrior training, and we wanted what was best for you. We never expected such a loyal cat to be joining us."
Spiderpaw dipped his head. "Thank you," he meowed. "I never expected to hear such a thing."
"I'd never expect to say such a thing," Rocktail assured. "But I stand corrected."
There was a moment of silence as Spiderpaw let the words sink in, so pleased he had been able to help.
"Muskstar would like to speak to you in her den," he meowed at last. "Tell her I'm sorry for keeping you."
"I'm sure she won't mind," Spiderpaw meowed. "But thank you, Rocktail."
Spiderpaw twisted his body around and began making his way towards Muskstar's den, not another word to the deputy he was so shocked that he had began to trust.
Even before he had entered Muskstar's den, he could hear her cold voice through the lichen that swung over the front. Not wanting to eavesdrop, he quickly announced his presence and entered.
Spiderpaw felt a rush of relief when he saw Oceanfur inside the den, seated besides Muskstar in a pile of leaves. He wanted to rush over and support him, but he knew now was a sensitive time.
"Welcome, Spiderpaw," Muskstar meowed. "What took you?"
"Sorry," Spiderpaw spluttered, chilled by the cold in Muskstar's voice. "Rocktail was speaking to me."
Muskstar dipped her head. "We would like to thank you for your service in our Clan, she meowed. "You've been an excellent help."
"And an excellent friend," Oceanfur interrupted, seemingly ignorant to Muskstar's look of confusion.
"We understand you miss your Clan," Muskstar continued. "We plan to escort you back as soon as possible. However the moon is shining, a much safer bet would be to wait until the morning. I invite you to join my Clan in vigil for Ashpaw, if you would like."
Spiderpaw didn't have to think. "Of course," he meowed. "And thank you," he meowed, turning to Oceanfur quietly. "You've taught me so much."
Muskstar let out a faint simper. "You medicine cats live in a world of your own, having friendships outside of your Clan."
"I'm sorry Muskstar," Oceanfur meowed. Spiderpaw wanted to stick up for the young tom, but he seemed to have everything covered. "Spiderpaw has been a great companion, he's started to feel like a Clanmate to me."
Muskstar tilted her head. "I guess that's good for a medicine cat," she beamed. "Although Oceanfur is right, Spiderpaw. You've been an honour, and we wish you the best when you return."
Spiderpaw dipped his head gratefully.
"I'll escort you in the morning. But I know you've gotten to know the warriors quite well. You're welcome to invite one or two more to make the journey with us."
Spiderpaw immediately turned to Oceanfur. "Would you be able to come?"
Oceanfur glanced at Muskstar, but before he had her approval he turned back and nodded his head.
"I'd like to ask Jaggedclaw too," he meowed. "She made me feel very welcome when I first came."
"Then that's settled," Muskstar meowed. "Be sure to let them know at sunhigh. Now, we shall start the vigil."