CHAPTER EIGHT: RULES

His world looked like a storm. I was going to be its center.
-Kiera Cass

There's a few things I know about Demetrius Bonnes that I can't get out of my head, no matter how hard I try.

I know that his shoulders are broad enough that it's hard for me to wrap my arms around him and his love language isn't touch, even if mine is. The mechanic has heavy hands and he looks three times as mean as he is but god dammit when he touches me I just melt.

Whenever I need him, he's there and he'll be the hero of this story even if I don't want him to be.

There were times that Demetrius does or says things that seem like they're for no reason and I'll be confused but something will happen a week later and I'll realize, oh, he was protecting me.

Because Demy is protective, unfairly so.

He doesn't give up on things, not really, not until he's done everything he can in that situation. Even if he should, Demetrius doesn't give up on people.

In the middle of the night, when there's nothing better to do and we're just sitting on the back of his truck, staring at the stars he loves so much the hand squeezing my knee means I love you but the look in his eye says I'm not ready yet.

And I respect that.

See, we don't agree on a lot. Hell, he doesn't even think soulmates exist but our differences don't really matter that much, not really.

I fit against him like I was meant to be there and he proves that again, and again, and again with every hug he gives me. And I know he communicates through touch more than any person I've ever meant, it's endearing to me.

He will never, ever leave, not without good reason and not without saying goodbye.

Demetrius is...he's safe.

And he says I'm safe too.

I like that.

At the moment we're at the park around the baseball diamond, nobody else is around, and I'm laying down one seat up from him.

Demetrius is sitting down half-facing me, back towards the fence until I notice him sit up and take my hand, tugging it towards him. "Eris."

"What is it?" I shuffle up, moving my hand to properly hold his. He's paler than normal. "Are you okay, you look... scared."

"I, um..." Strangely, Demetrius moves his hand away from me, "I broke a friendship rule and I feel really bad. I don't want you to leave."

"Hey, hey," This gets me alert, and I don't touch him again, just kind of hover in case he does want the comfort of touch. "I'm not going to leave and I'm not upset. What do you think you did wrong?"

"I know I did something wrong." The mechanic frowns at me. "I... no getting mad for me telling the truth?"

"Demy," I scoff. "Unless you kicked my non-existent puppy I'm not going to get mad at you."

Demy pauses, blinking at me owlishly. "Okay. It was when we first started to be friends, and you were explaining some things for me. Talking about me being a Simp and Riggs."

"Are you saying that being a simp breaks the rules of being friends? 'Cause trust me, there's no way I'm ending our friendship because Riggs thinks you're a simp for me."

Seriously?

How is this making him so upset?

I really don't like it.

"No," Demetrius shakes his head. "You... you made it seem like having a crush on a friend is a bad thing. I don't want it to be a bad thing, though, because I want to stay friends with you. I don't know how to not feel this way about you and I know that it's wrong, because it breaks the friendship rule, and I don't want you getting upset and Riggs told me to talk about it with you so that's what I'm doing. I don't want to be a bad friend or break the rules and make you leave."

Oh.

Oh.

That's... okay. I get the confusion.

"Demy there's no strict rules to friendships. People like to think there are, because it makes them comfortable, but there's not. If there were, things would be way more simple." Taking his face in hand, I press a gentle kiss against his forehead before moving down and kissing his cheek too. "Having a crush isn't a bad thing, Demetrius, and it doesn't have to change anything either."

It's weird though, because for some reason I don't feel like this would end well.

Jae would say this is just me self sabotaging again, and I don't know what to do with her voice ringing in my head.

"You're, you're breaking my heart, Eris." Telling me this, Demetrius leans into me and holds onto the sides of my calves, keeping me close the same time his words try to push me away. "Because you're talking like this isn't a bad thing, but you're sounding different. Does this upset you?"

"No, no, it's not that." Maybe I should be more confident in relationships, instead when I'm just alone. "I just... I like you too, Demy. I do. I really do. But we don't have to stop being friends, you know, if it's weird for you or it, or it just feels wrong, like you said, then nothing has to change."

Feeling my bottom lip quiver, I take a breath in and try to let the shake in my voice leave.

This feels natural, easy.

But too easy at the same time, like it's too good to be.

"I'm not going to leave, I'm not." Yet again, that's a promise. "I can adapt, if you give me time, I will. As far as I'm concerned though, this isn't a bad thing."

"P-please don't cry," Demetrius sits up straight, legs moving on either side of mine. "Please, I'll cry if you cry. I don't want you to change how you feel about me."

That's good because I don't want to change it either.

"I don't want to lose you, I don't want to be just friends, I want more. I want you. I'm... I'm really sorry if that hurts you and, and I don't have to mention it again or act like this happened. I want you but I respect your feelings and everything that entails. Just tell me what you want, and I'll do it."

"I want you too." Pulling him closer to me by the strings of his sweatshirt, I lean into him right back and laugh again just a bit. "Like I said, Demy, you're my soulmate. Meeting you was the best coincidence of my life, whether you want to call that dumb luck or fate, but it makes me believe in something. And that something is us."

Demetrius grins at me, "I can get behind that. Soulmates, yeah."

"Yeah?" Leaning into him more, I have to hold back my smile. "You know, I get confused sometimes because when you read my lips it looks like you want to kiss me."

"Hmm," His eyes glance between me and my lips, and I notice him flush. "Is that a bad thing, Eris?"

"It's not. Just confusing, because you're really cute and I want to kiss you." I admit, shrugging. "It's mixed signals."

"To clear up the mixed signals, I'll stop," Demetrius murmurs. "To help you understand, I want to kiss you, too."

Giggling, I pull him even closer and rest my forehead against his, moving my feet onto the seat on either side of his hips.

Pecking his cheek again, I ask, "Can I kiss you?"

The mechanic flushes a bright red and nods, closing the distance between us as I cup the back of his neck, lean in and press my lips against his.

Gasping into my mouth, Demetrius holds onto the sides of my legs tighter to pull my body against his while his mouth moves against mine.

Yeah, I really don't mind the size difference.

He's the first to pull away but then kisses me a few more times in short, more playful pecks that ends with me as a giggling mess.

"Demy."

"Eris."

Grinning at him, I wrinkle my nose and nudge his forehead with mine. "You know I love you, right?"

Him knowing me and me knowing him let's me know that he understands there's no pressure, no definition to that love.

Definition excludes the possibility of change, and I'm not ignorant to that.

Which makes it perfectly reasonable to me when he nods, mouth twisted in an all too attractive smile and says, "I know."