We were friends once, but now we are friends no more.

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Lev secured a bolt on the bracket of the Mustang. It was one of those comfortable lulls of quiet in the day. A moment of stillness that gave him the productive headspace he required. The qualms of the day eased away as he steadily achieved what he needed and more importantly wanted to do. For others the calls of fame and wealth drew them to more prosperous careers, but Lev found peace in what he did. A part mechanic, another classic restorer he got the chance to work with his hands. A passion that allowed him to both pay the bills but also resurrect old classic cars. In some way he felt like he got the opportunity to restore pieces of art  that would have been lost to the dust of history. A role that bridged cars of old and the future generations of tomorrow. 

Lev felt grateful that he had discovered what success was to him. More so at his young age.

It was surreal how much life Lev had experienced. There were times where he felt like his youth was lived by someone else. In his younger years he was idealistic, carefree and optimistic. A kid really. Then he married Arabelle and discovered what happiness really meant. He started a life that purpose driven. She made him feel like he had a sense of meaning and that he was born for a reason. For something greater than himself. Within six months that reason gruesomely withered away before his eyes. 

For a man that could fix cars he couldn't understand why the doctors where unable fix Arabelle. 

Her death was not only the end of their marriage but was the end of the person he had been. It changed him. Drove out all optimism and shrouded him in the reality of life. Looking back, he found it hard to identify the man of his earlier youth.

Lev had become a stranger to his own memories. 

Lev couldn't understand what life was for. The foundation of his identity crumbled, along with him. Despite the time lapse, he's former self never returned. Instead he was left with who he had become. Maybe that's why things worked so well with Tina. Not aquatinted with his former self, she had no expectation of him to be other than what he was. She didn't gaze at him with a half sympathetic smile that most of his relatives had. One that tried to convey commiseration for him and his loss. Nor did she stare at him the way Katia did.

At the time of Arabelle's passing Katia became a mirror. She reflected back the sorrow that Lev felt.  Katia like Lev,  knew Arabelle. She knew how Arabelle laughed, what made her sad and why teddy's bears where her favourite animal. Arabelle had a place in their lives. Arabelle was important.

When she died there was an absence, a void that couldn't be filled. Katia felt that and because of it, she truly mourned Arabelle's loss. Unlike everyone else that merely acknowledged Arabelle's passing. They did not understand the magnitude that had befallen Katia and Lev.

As the days surrendered into months, Lev's mourning developed into drinking. Katia changed aswell. Where others tried to gave Lev more allowances from pity, Katia's compassion dwindled to disappointment. It crept in gradually, until it was the only thing visible on her face. In some way Katia turned herself into a constant reminder of Lev's inability to to pull himself together. Lev felt like a disappointment each time she looked at him. Anyone would have crumbled under that gaze.

Lev hated to see the failure that he had become in Katia's eyes. He felt like Arabelle was looking at him in the same way. In time he learned that it was easier to deal with Katia if he was wasted. Whatever memories he had of their interactions disappeared into the blackouts that he favoured.

He should have known the end of their friendship was inevitable. 

The door opened and pulled out of his thoughts Lev.

"Lev. You really need to learn how to set your phone on locked mode." Said Karl, clocking in for his shift. 

"Good morning to you too Karl." Lev said to the absentminded klutz that was his mild annoyance.

"Sorry morning." Said Karl, his cigarette butt dangling precariously from his parted lips. 

Lev pulled over the can they use as an ash tray, somewhat irked by Karl's ramblings.

"No smoking inside Karl. You've worked here for thirteen years and I have to tell you this every morning." Lev answered, pushing the can across the table.

"Yeah, well I keep hoping management will change the policy. But seriously watch your phone. I'm getting real tired of getting calls from you. You had me looking for a ringing phone last night. Took me a half hour to find it. " Karl said, smarting out his butt.

"What are you talking about Karl? I didn't call you. You maybe had one of your old flames trying to reach you. You've got to stop messing around with those bar hookups." Lev said, bothered by his presence. To think a few minutes ago he had the office and silence. Now he was trying to stop smelling the built up nicotine that rolled off Karl.

"You check your phone dumbass. You called me. Over and over. At first I thought you were trying to flirt with me talking about my pretty face and what was it? Lucius, no luscious lips as you called it. Gonna try that line tonight at the bar. Must have worked for Tina cause you kept on talking like some star on soap opera." Cackled Karl, hackling up tar as he laughed.

"Get to work Karl. And Close the door". Replied Lev to Karl's snickering.  Lev pulled out his phone trying to see what Karl was talking about. It wouldn't be the first time he had pocket dialled someone. With his call plan he most probably racked up another considerable bill. The thought of him switching providers stayed forefront in his mind when he saw how many calls had gone through the night. Until he neared the middle of the list. 

"Damnit!" snarled Lev, his day instantly turning dark. Katia's number was called several times. The one call he refused to make was dialled without his permission. He felt like a man that played chicken only to waiver first. Six months of silence and not a word from her. 

Lev had no idea what the hell was going on with her. One minute she was serene and calm the next throwing childish fits. He didn't have time for her juvenile tendencies. Whatever bothered her could have been resolved if she was wiling to act like a mature adult. They were no longer in high school yet Katia felt the need to act like an adolescent.

"Why the hell would she move there anyway. It wasn't even like she knows anyone there." He huffed to himself.

It wasn't just the stark shock of her absence that aggravated him. It was the lack of notice. One of the biggest life changing events to happen to Katia and she never bothered to tell him about it. If he didn't overhear it from Jane and David he wouldn't have even known. Katia didn't even send him a text  message about it.

Wasn't he worth the twenty five cents it would have costed her? It affected him more than what he cared to admit. Pierced him to his core. For the first time in his life he felt lost, abandon and betrayed

"Guess our friendship didn't matter. Or maybe it was just me. I didn't matter to her." He thought his heart aching at the thought. Katia lack of response to his thirteen calls cemented that understanding to his heart. 

This was the second greatest burden he had to deal with after the passing of Arabelle. The lost of Katia. Expect she didn't die. Where Arabelle fought with death to stay alive, Katia just left him.

Willingly and purposely.

He had so many friend leave his side after Arabelle's death. Sure they would start with a smilingly probable excuse. Like Timothy saying he had to work overtime. Or Brody cancelling to to pick up his mother. Other's gave more arbitrary reason's like needing to get their hair cut. It took Lev several constant excuses to figure out they were really cutting him out of their lives. He understood. No one really wanted to spend their Friday night with the miserable widow. His grief was contagious and distasteful. Few had the shoulders to bear it. 

Now Katia was one of those. The difference was that they didn't displace his role in their lives so swiftly. If it was merely a job opportunity he would have celebrated with her. Yet the silence she gave showed him her intentions towards him. Her affections and attachment towards him was no more. She wanted nothing to do with him.

Tina saw the change in Lev and in her own way try to ease the pain, but she didn't know how. Tina didn't really understand. Her words were a bandaid on a stab wound. Ironically the only one that would have known what words would have comforted his soul was Katia. After years of friendship, Katia was the one who understood every version of him. 

Ironic how the one who hurt him was the only one who could truly fix him.

It was clear that Lev was changing once again. The cause not death of a soulmate but abandonment of a friend. Shaken, Lev transitioned into another version of himself. Everyone could see the effect Katia's leaving had on him.

Everyone but Katia. 

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