With a sense of trepidation I exhaled my breath. I held my stomach trying to calm the nervous butterflies that had suddenly taken possession of me. Squeezing my eyes I steadied my heart. I needed to get control. After all this time, Lev had finally called. 

I dialed my voice mail, shaken by an emotion in my soul. Hope or anxiety? I wasn't sure. A pendulum seemed to swing from one to the other.  Leaning against the wall, I held my phone to my ear. I was physically holding the lifeline to undo the mess I was in. 

"You have 13 new messages..." 

"Oh." The word slipped through my lips, escaping the guard of my mind. Thirteen? He never called once before. Did something happen? Was Jane unwell? I anxiously began to bite my nails. Selecting the first message I heard something I wasn't prepared for. His voice. I forgot what it sounded like. Smooth, deep and masculine. 

I found myself sinking against the wall, clutching my knees as his voice re-entered my world.

"and I walked over trying to figure out why the part just wasn't fitting. I must have tried to jammed that thing in four times but it just wouldn't go in. I love that mustang but I've never had a car give me more trouble." Said Lev.

I startled in confusion. What was he talking about?

"what did you do?" Another male voice asked faintly in the distance. 

"Tried to re-assemble, check the logs and the spec's but it all match up. Only then I realized that the bracket was customized. I'm going to have to do the same with the part in order for it to match up." 

Someone else asked him a question. He replied something along the lines of a new shipment. Music blared on in the background. Then the message ended. 

Confused I looked at my phone. I replayed it four times trying to understand. Playing the next I hoped for some clarity, but each was the same. Lev, happily talking about car parts and random conversation to his buddies. Expect the last two. 

Those featured conversation with Tina. His sweet, enduring girlfriend. I felt like someone had placed me under a cold shower.

"What about the 10pm show? We can still hang out for a bit and could still make the movie?" He asked her.  Tina's response must have pleased him because he burst out laughing and said something strange about food. 

A pocket dial. 

His phone had dialed my number. Thirteen times. Each leaving me a glimpse of his life. He had moved on. No trace of any angst. Lev was the definition of fine. He was happy and content.  My leaving did nothing to him but perhaps, good? How was he great whilst I was still undone?

Lev was doing admirable well. 

I wasn't.

Maybe moving here was a mistake. 

Closing my eyes, I replayed his voice mails. Each time I hoped the message would change.

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