I picked up the stack of files on my desk and made way towards their destination. I knocked on the door lightly with the knuckle of my finger and next moment I heard a faint "Come in." This was my cue to open the door, walk in, put the files on the desk and walk out. This was the routine I had come to learn to follow after joining this place seven months ago.

"Are these all the files I asked for?" He asked in his usual calculated voice.

"Yes sir." I answered in short. His gaze was fixed at the opened file in front of him and he didn't bother looking up.

"You may go now." He practically mumbled since he was intensely focused on his work. I did as I was told.

This office, and he, I had come to realise, always functioned like clockwork every single day just the same way, apparently solving some grave problems.

I knew I had no place being in an office like this, I did not understand how could everyone find the motivation to come here day after day. For me it was unbearable.

This was supposed to be a temporary job anyway. I had to resort to this after I suddenly lost my ability to draw resulting in my art career taking a nosedive into failure. My mind had gone into a burnout phase and I couldn't even draw a line right. But bills don't wait until you have a 'Eureka!' moment and you can pick your life back up again.

So I had to do something, anything, in the meantime and next thing I knew I was carrying files and keeping track of appointments for the Chairman of the Youth Soccer Association, Gouenji Shuuya.

I can't recall a time when I had seen him with anything other than a frown on his face and a file in his hand. Everyday he arrives a couple minutes after I have settled on my little desk in the corner, and he heads straight to his office. After that, apart from the occasional instructions to bring a file or a document, I never see him speak any extra words.

And for some reason, it fascinated me to no end to witness all of this. I looked at the same routine everyday yet it enthralled me each time. I had begun to anticipate his every action and every time I turned out to be right, it gave me a strange joy and made me chuckle inwardly.

I realised pretty quickly not everyone shared my opinion on this matter; in fact, no one did. They always asked me how I wasn't intimidated by the fact that I was the person working closest to him and when I said it didn't bother me they would look at me like I had grown two heads. To be honest, it wasn't like this since day one. I was once utterly intimidated by him too and I was afraid to even hand him a file or speak a word of response but over time I had become used to it.

And now what remained was fascination. I didn't even realise how preoccupied I had become by trying to figure him out. I had so many questions and none seemed to have any chance of getting answered. Then one day I found an inkling of progress in my quest.

I knocked on the door and waited for the permission to enter. I opened the door expecting his usual serious self but I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw he was talking on the phone with an expression I had never seen before and it left me staring in shock. His harsh gaze was replaced by a soft look and he even had his lips stretched into the slightest of smiles. I remained gawking at him until he turned his attention to me, his expression switched to his regular one as he gestured me to put the files down and then turned his attention back to the call, his expression changing again like magic.

I waited for a while to ask if he had any other instructions for me, during which I found out that the person on the other end was someone named Yuuka. I later found out it was his little sister whom he cared about more than anything. The incident piqued my fascination even more and I couldn't help but rewind the image of him smiling, again and again in my mind. I wondered what it was like to know that other side of him, the one that smiles and cares about people close to him.

I don't know at what exact moment my fascination turned into admiration and then love but by the time I realised it was too late to go back. As I followed him around places, to meetings where I heard him speak about his thoughts and ideas, to the practice ground where I saw him inspire the future soccer players to be their best, in the office where he would work long after everyone was gone because he knew it was his responsibility to make sure there are no mistakes, I kept falling in love more and more.

Now I find it hard to leave this place even if I know I don't fit in here. If I left I might never see him again and that is just unacceptable to me. I thought about telling him my feelings, a couple of times but I don't know what would even be the point when he won't even look at me, or at anyone for that matter.

My throat suddenly felt dry and scratchy making me emerge out of my thoughts and reach for the water bottle. I took a sip thinking it would be soothing but it didn't help at all. I took another sip and then another and before I knew it I had gulped down the entire bottle but there was no effect. Now I had begun coughing as well. I rushed outside in hopes that taking in some fresh air would calm me down but by the time I reached outside the coughing fit was in full effect. I covered my mouth with my hand trying to figure out what suddenly happened. Did I catch a cold? But it was summer.

When the fit subsided a bit I brought my hand down only to be shocked at the sight. It held two sakura petals, beautifully pink in color. My eyes widened as I continued to stare at them for a while not understanding what to make of it. It's not that I didn't know what it could be hinting at, it's just that I was too afraid to accept that conclusion.

The petals flew out of my hand after a while and I remained standing stunned by this revelation. After a while, I returned to my desk but afterwards, the entire day was a blur to me. I had to make a decision now and I had to do it fast. I had to do something about my feelings and I was running out of time.

A couple of days later, I steeled my spirit and decided to just admit my feelings to him. I didn't care what would he say to that I just had to let him know. I carried some files just as an excuse to go to him and after taking a deep breath, I knocked on the door.

"Come in."

I walked in with calculated steps and placed the stack of files on his desk. He looked up at me, then at the files, he tilted one of it to read the cover.

"What is this? I didn't ask for this." He spoke calmly and then resumed reading the file in his hands.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you did." I could sense my voice quivering, "Uhh, one more thing... " My breath hitched and my throat felt dry again.

"Yes?" He looked at me again. His face showed restlessness as if he wanted me to finish what I had to say, quickly.

The words that were at the tip of my tongue now refused to cross that threshold. I realised I couldn't do it. I could never tell him how much I loved him. I couldn't admit my feelings even when my life depended on it.

"Nothing."

I rushed out of the room quickly and then outside the building. I took the support of the handrails on the porch and began coughing again. A fistful of petals landed on my hand before I could calm down.

The fits only ascended in frequency from then on and it became harder and harder for me to be discreet. I tried my best to appear normal and hide the fact that it was actually flower petals that I was coughing up instead of a common cold. I knew that eventually, I would have to go to the doctor which would end in me forgetting all my feelings but I wanted to wait as long as I could. I wasn't ready to give up on loving him just yet.

He noticed my illness once when I coughed a couple times after trying my best to keep it down and hoping I don't cough up petals at that moment.

"Take the day off if you like." He plainly stated.

"No, it's okay." I mumbled and resumed working.

The constant coughing was taking a toll on my body as well. I had grown weak, I couldn't eat properly, I couldn't sleep properly and I could barely concentrate on any kind of work. Yet I stubbornly went on determined to continue as long as possible.

One evening he was working after everyone was gone and I decided to wait as well. Although he said I could leave since my work was done I couldn't bring myself to do so. I felt my job wasn't done until his wasn't. He worked so hard and it didn't feel right to me to just leave him like that.

I took this time to reorganize my desk and the folders on my computer. I had ignored it for the past couple of days and now it was covered in documents. I organized them all and put them away in their respective files. Just then I noticed I had left one important file that I was supposed to hand over to him the same day. I panicked, I had never made a mistake before. I quickly picked it up and rushed towards his office.

I walked in slowly and a little bit scared as well. I slowly stood before his desk and cleared my throat to direct his attention at me.

"I'm sorry but... I forgot to... " I began speaking but just then I felt a fit of cough oncoming. Despite that, I tried to continue speaking anyway, "... I forgot...this..." Before I could say anything else I was coughing breathlessly. Next moment my feet wobbled and I collapsed onto the floor, the papers from the file in my hand scattered all over.

He saw this and immediately rushed across the desk to my side. He stepped down to my level and was about to help me stand up when his eyes went onto the floor.

Pink petals scattered everywhere and they were now illuminated by the golden light of the setting sun filtering in through the huge window.

I regained my composure somehow and turned to look at him and found him looking at me with deep concern. I now felt extremely self-conscious and embarrassed at my condition.

"Why didn't you say that you were so sick? You shouldn't be working." He tried his best to be gentle.

"It doesn't matter. " I said evasively.

"Of course it does. Why did you stay when I told you to go?"

"I just... couldn't. You were still working so... I decided to stay as well... in case... you need anything." I mumbled incoherently.

"You don't have to worry about me." He said dismissively.

"I can't help but." I said as I looked at him helplessly.

He frowned quizzically and looked at me and then to the petals scattered all over the floor and as if suddenly everything clicked in his mind, his eyes widened in shock as he came to the conclusion.

"Me?" He asked in wonder. I remained quiet and continued to look at him with now misty eyes. He didn't say anything for a while too which was understandable since it all was a lot to take in. Finally, he regained his composure and taking my hand he helped me get up and settle on to a chair. He took the chair opposite mine. He opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off,

"Look, I'm sorry I said anything. I shouldn't have. You don't have to feel obligated to say anything. It's my problem, I'll deal with it. We both know what the solution is." With that I hastily got up to leave.

Next moment I was held back by him taking hold of my wrist. "No, don't!" He exclaimed almost instinctively.

I turned to him in surprise which made him get self-conscious. He looked away and frowned,

"Don't... do that." He mumbled.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm... just curious. All this time you kept suffering and you didn't say anything. Why?"

"I don't know." This was the only answer I could manage at the time. I hadn't gone there to be having this conversation. I felt put very on the spot. I didn't know what I should be saying and what I shouldn't. I began coughing again and covered my mouth with both my hands.

"Let me help you. " He declared catching me off-guard, "I have to admit you have left me quite intrigued." He smiled a little embarrassed, "And now I want to get to know you." He concluded as I continued to look at him awestruck.

"Is that okay with you?" He asked again, gently. I nodded.

The coughing fit began to subside this time instead of growing.