"We just go over and say hi," I announce with finality, peering at Ren, who's standing out on the schoolyard from behind a narrow pillar that does little to conceal us. Akito is right behind me, looking at Ren with his chin nearly propped on my head. His strikingly blue sweater is screaming for attention, but Ren is too busy kicking dry leaves into the air to notice.

"You want me to greet him?" Akito asks doubtfully from overhead.

"Uh, yes," I clarify.

"But I already saw him this morning. It seems a bit unnecessary." 

"That doesn't matter! People say hi when they bump into each other all the time; it's normal," I insist. I peek up at him. "This is weird; we should go out there. Are you ready?"

He looks unsure but nods, and a growing heaviness in my chest dissipates. I've been worried. Worried that my words hadn't gotten through to him, that they hadn't left much of an impression, that he hadn't received them for the promise I intended them to be. You won't be alone anymore, and you'll love it.

I know this only started off as a promise to a friend, and if bringing Akito someone to hold onto can permanently fix that sun-lit smile on Kurumi-senpai's face, I'll do anything. But now, it's about more than that. Akito is suffering. He blames Ren. I don't want him to end up like me. I want to show him how different things can be. How colourful. How a single smile from the right person can topple lives.

I'm aware that I'm an outsider and that he has no reason to go along with my whims. But he's still willing to give this a shot. He's willing to give Ren a shot, and it's all the encouragement that I need.

I grab a couple garden rakes off the stand beside me and walk into the open, stopping beside Ren. He ceases the pointless kicking that has only served to further scatter the dry leaves and petals on the ground, thereby increasing our work load, and turns to glare at me. "Finally," he rasps, snatching an outdoor broom from my hands. "Learn to read the fucking clock." I grin. "Hey."

Classroom cleaning is handled in rotation by the respective students on a daily basis, but the rest of campus is taken care of by the school committee. Which is why we're out here today, armed with the right equipment to sweep the dirt away.

Akito is still lingering by the broom stand, lips pursed together. I encouragingly wave him over. He starts towards us, clutching the wooden rake to his chest. Ren watches him approach, suddenly alert; the shift in his temper almost palpable, the causal displeasure on his face solidifying into concrete and silent rage. The metal teeth of his rake sink into the soil as Akito stops before him, and an uneasy feeling settles into my stomach.

"Hi," Akito tries, but it comes out sounding forced and weak.

Ren fails to hide the surprise that pushes its way into his face. His eyes flit to me, then back to Akito, as if to ensure that the greeting had been meant for him. Then he abruptly turns his face away, visibly at a loss for words. "F-Fuck off," he tells the ground.

Confused, I tug at Akito's sleeve and silently push for him to say more. He looks tired, but he doesn't resist.

"Are you—" he starts, barely into the sentence when Ren's tightly closed fists begin to tremble. "FUCK OFF!" he bellows. A shudder tears through me, and I'm left standing between them in what I can only describe as pure shock. The fire in Ren's eyes momentarily flickers, rising uncertainty and worry dampening the flames as he takes an unsteady step back, only just looking at the boy across from him. He looks almost afraid. I don't understand. But he's your soulmate.

My hand instinctively floats towards Akito with an intention to comfort. Such jarring words from your soulmate; they must really cut deep. It's okay. It's okay. He's just in a bad mood, that's all. But my fingers freeze mid-air as the lack of expression on Akito's face registers. He looks hard and cold and utterly unfazed, almost like he was expecting this, and this isn't right.

"You're not fooling anyone, got that? Just leave," Ren growls, his words sharp-edged and jagged.

Akito's grip slackens around his rake with something like resignation. He moves to walk past us, pausing only for a second near my ear. "I told you. It won't work." What is this?  Have things always been this bad between them? I blink at the thread that goes on expanding between Akito and Ren, the glow ebbing with each step that Akito takes away from us. It looks just like everyone else's, so why?

Akito positions himself in the corner of the yard furthest from Ren and me. When I'm sure he's out of earshot, I whirl on Ren. "What was that!?" I demand. "Do you have a problem with him?" After what happened with Kurumi-senpai, I know he has a tendency to be an ass, even to his soulmates. But this savage repulsion that Ren just expressed towards Akito seems excessive, even for him.

I guess I never considered asking Ren about what he thinks of Akito; I simply assumed things would fall into place with time, like they always do. These two have the universe on their side, don't they?

Ren doesn't respond, the tense set of his shoulders betraying his discomfort, and I realise that this time, things aren't that simple. I decide not to prod further. Now isn't the time. "So, did you get in trouble for leaving halfway through last time?" I ask him, forcing some humour into my voice despite how upset I feel.

Ren pokes at the fallen leaves with his rake. "Why'd you think I showed up now?" he mumbles.

"Figures." I play it cool, but in all honesty, it means something to me that he hasn't quit the committee yet. There must be something keeping him here, right? It might be his eternal link with Akito at play, but regardless, I'm grateful for it.

"Hey," he says, slowly lifting his head. "Did that good-for-nothing loser rat me out?"

"Akito? No, I don't think he did. He was upset, but..." I trail off at the sight of the distasteful curve of his mouth.

"I wouldn't put it past him," he mutters bitterly, directing an accusing eye towards where Akito is standing by himself.

"You really don't like him," I say, half to myself in disbelief. The information is too slow to sink in; it's almost like my brain is rejecting it. A soulmate can make you feel so many things. This isn't supposed to be one of them.

Ren shrugs. "Don't you see what sort of a person he is? He doesn't care about anyone but himself."

That's not true. It's not. Akito mostly just keeps to himself, so I can see how he may give off such an impression. But I've seen it. The rip in his mask. It showed when he first asked me for help, when he agreed to take a chance with Ren, knowing what it might cost him, just because an outsider like me asked him to. When he looked me in the eye, straight-backed and sure, and told me that Ren wasn't a bad person.

He isn't like that. He cares.

"Shh, sensei is watching; we should get to work," I say, hurriedly cutting him off just so I won't have to respond. My thoughts are too muddled, and I'm steadily losing myself in my confusion. Ren's supposed feelings for Kurumi-senpai were the only hurdle I expected from his side.

My eyes slide over to Akito. I can't see his face, but he's working quickly and relentlessly, like he always does. He's working all by himself, like he always does. A pang resounds in my chest as I look back at Ren. Don't do this. You're the only one for him. He has no one else. I exhale heavily and shut my eyes. Later. I'll think about this some more later.

I open my eyes again, and a short, perplexed laugh suddenly escapes my lips when I see what Ren is up to. "What do you think you're doing?" He's repeatedly bringing his rake down on the ground, papery leaves crunching under its weight. "What's that supposed to accomplish?"

He scowls. "What, I'm doing it wrong?"

I place a hand over his, halting his vain movement. The expression on his face provokes a couple more suppressed laughs from me. "Trust me, you're doing it wrong."

"Then fucking show me how," he snarls. "Don't laugh; what the hell?"

His bratty side always inevitably shows. I smile some more in spite of myself. How did I ever think this boy was dangerous? As I watch him now, sizing up the rake in his hand with a challenge in his eyes, it occurs to me that he's just a regular guy. He gets angry, he gets upset, and he gets scared—maybe more loudly and intensely than I do, but that's just the way he is. Maybe he smiles too.

It's only at this moment that I finally make peace with the idea of Ren reconciling with Kurumi-senpai. He needs part of her light, just like I do.

Making up with her was supposed to be the first step Ren took towards building a healthy relationship with Akito. But now...

No. I can't give up.

Hope sparks to life within me. If I could be so easily convinced that Ren wasn't the crude person I thought him to be, he can be convinced about Akito too.

"Use the forked end to gather the leaves in one place—not like that!" I exclaim as he starts to sweep at the ground with no rhyme or rhythm. "Don't scatter them; you're making it worse!" I glance around. "There, look at how Akito's doing it, like a pro. See that pile over there? If it's like that, we can easily load the leaves into the bags and take them to the compost pit."

Akito's side of the yard is almost fully clear, the leaves clustering in piles at an efficiency that should be improbable for one person to achieve. Ren's hands go still as he watches Akito make his way through the grass, arms silently moving with purpose. His brows draw together, his gaze lingering for a second too long.

"Rubi." I flinch at the sudden voice in my ear, crisp and airy, like the clinking of bells. "O-Oh hey!" I stutter at Irina, who's inexplicably appeared at my side. The thin dark braids roped down her front flutter in the wind as she regards me with eyes like liquid dark pools, the slight wrinkle by her mouth the only suggestion of displeasure.

Her eyes evoke an inexplicable guilt within me.

"You aren't taking the train today?" she asks evenly.

"O-Oh, I am, after we..." I move my hands around in a flurry. "Wrap things up." A nervous laugh escapes me.

I watch her eyes move levelly, narrowing at the sight of Ren a few paces away and then at Akito in the distance. "I see." A silence cuts into the air, and I scramble to say something to fill it. "Yeah, just regular old committee stuff. They, um, keep us busy."

She nods. "When will you be done? It's been a while since we went home together."

"Ah, I..." It's been a week since I joined the school committee for Akito and Ren and since I last went home together with Irina. Went home together, is honestly a bit of a stretch. We take the same train home, and we sit together during the ride because it would be rude not to, wouldn't it? We're classmates. That's all. It doesn't matter that I've known her longer than I've known Kurumi-senpai.

"We're actually just getting started. Ren is barely getting the hang of things, and..." I falter at the weight of her unwavering gaze. Stop. She doesn't need to listen to this right now. "Anyway, it'll take a while, so you should...probably, yeah. I'll see you tomorrow?"

The composed set of her face remains undisturbed, but her fingers slowly curl around the strap of her shoulder bag. "I could ask the teacher to let you off. Will you come?" she asks with the same even-tempered voice.

A response begins to form on my lips, but it evaporates before it can come out when I realise that I kind of want to go. I miss being on the evening train with her, even though all we ever did was talk about school and exchange an occasional glance upon the entry of a drunk passenger.

I'm not supposed to feel this way. Irina is out of bounds. Every step she takes is intentional and sturdy, and she doesn't stop. One day, we'll go home from school together for the last time, and that will be the end of the line. I cannot keep her. Not Irina. Not anyone.

She patiently stands before me, waiting for a response. Six strings of fate, a beautiful shade of crimson, flag her sides. Irina is always looking ahead with clear, hazeless eyes. She's never paused, not for anyone. Each of those strings must lead to brilliant people if they're able to captivate her for even a moment. I don't want her to waste any more time on someone like me when she should be out there, allowing fated encounters to happen. I'll only ever hold her back.

You don't have to do this for me. I smile clumsily. "I'm sorry, Akito and Ren need me." The words ring true the second I speak them. They do need me. Desperately. Temporarily. "I don't want to hold you back."

Her eyes slowly graze over Ren again. "I saw you earlier. I was watching," she says, a rare, distant tinge to her eyes. "Why can't I ever make you smile like that?"

I laugh—an oddly stricken sound. "Don't be silly."

END OF CHAPTER