"Help me."

I stare at him in shock, my lips slightly parted as the composed set of his face breaks apart, his eyebrows drawing together in desperation. His gaze is silently pleading with mine, his hand trembling where it's fisted over his heart. There's a tiredness about him—a weariness in his eyes, a weight around his shoulders—like he's been carrying an age-old burden that he's unable to put down.

"Akito," I whisper, afraid to say anything more. I don't feel like I have a right to see him this way, stripped of his defences. Panic roils in my gut because if Akito comes apart now, I don't trust myself to be able to pick him up again. I'm nobody to him. There's no way for me to understand what he needs. This vulnerability is not for me to see.

The string trailing down from his pinky comes to my attention, pulsing quietly, its glow ebbing with each passing second. Half my mind screams at me to go and fetch Ren, because who can breathe the life back into you when you've had enough of everything, if not your soulmate?

But I hold back on that thought because it quickly strikes me that maybe Ren is the reason Akito looks like this right now. The idea seems wrong the second it occurs to me, because your soulmate doesn't bring you suffering. That's just not the way it works. But there's too much I don't understand at the moment, and I couldn't possibly rely on Ren. There's no one else to turn to.

Akito angles his face away, his breaths heavy as he silently attempts to reign them in, and I shift in my seat, hoping against hope that my presence here isn't making him too uncomfortable. Should I offer to leave? But before I manage to speak up, Akito returns his attention to me, bringing his hands together in his lap. "S-Sorry about that," he whispers, a stutter leaking into his words.

"Oh no, it's completely alright," I burst out, my voice frantic. "Are you okay?"

He nods, and the knot in my chest loosens the slightest bit. It happens, then. His demeanour abruptly shifts, like he's put on a cloak of composure, his eyes flashing introspectively. He turns around in his chair to face me, bracing himself. "Alright. Tell me what you know." I swallow. "Everything."

Oh god. He's not beating around the bush at all. My heart hiccups.

I'm going to have to tell him.

I don't know if I'm ready.

Gosh, how could I have been so careless?

I've never told anyone about the things that I can see. For years, I've carried this secret with me, guarding it closely, because I'm afraid. Of mocking eyes, curved lips, and whispers. Of ridicule. Of becoming an outsider for real. Of becoming separate.

I've lived with these eyes of mine for so long that I'm unfamiliar with a world without red, and I have to admit that sometimes it gets a little hard being the only one who knows. Sometimes, I want to talk about the strings, about how radiant they are, about how they help me understand just how magical love can be, and I dream about getting to do it every day, but I've never acted on the desire because this is my burden to bear.

But a part of me feels like I owe Akito the truth. A part of me hopes that he'll take my word for it.

"Rubi?"

My breath hitches. "It's going to sound ridiculous."

"Please." He looks sincere.

So I take a deep breath and begin with a nervous laugh. "This may sound like something right out of a shoujo manga, but have you heard of the red string of fate?" A legend as old as the gods. My instincts scream at me to stop, but it's too late to back out now. When he nods with visible confusion, I continue, my heart racing. "I can see them. The strings, I mean. They stretch across my vision, everywhere I go, connecting people, young and old, to each other." I wait for him to absorb this. Then, "Do you...do you believe me?" I brace myself.

He fumbles for a response. "It's not that I... that's just not what I expected," he admits, frowning. I'm immediately disappointed, but I can't blame him for feeling the way that he does. At least he isn't outright laughing at me.

He slowly raises his head, his eyes clearing. "Then is Ren—"

"Your soulmate," I supply. He looks at me quizzically. "So you believe me then?" I ask again. I need to know.

He shrugs. "I don't have anything better to go off of. So." He looks down at his hands. "If he's my...what exactly does that signify?" he asks quietly. In spite of the storm of nerves in my chest, I'm forced to hide a smile. It looks like he doesn't know what to do with the information I just gave him.

I think for a second. "A soulmate is someone you can trust. Someone who's always there for you, someone you love. Someone who just gets you. They're like...they'll always hold a piece of your heart," I explain, sighing wistfully. It must be so wonderful, having a soulmate. There must be a peace that comes with knowing that there's someone out there whom you'd give up the world for—someone who'd do the same for you in the blink of an eye. "Someone important."

Akito doesn't look very sure, and if he's trying to attach all of what I just said to Ren, I suspect things don't look all that clear. "I see," he mumbles, looking just a little rattled. "So...Ren is...we're..." There's a question in his voice.

"Um, it depends on whether you view him as a possible romantic prospect or not, which I think is most likely the case for you, but a soulmate can also be a close friend or family member," I sputter in an attempt to clear his confusion. "I know with Ren, it must seem a little impossible," I say helplessly. "But the universe chose him for you, Akito, and I truly believe that there's a reason for that, so with time—"

"That's enough," He cuts me off, a flush colouring his cheeks. He looks down at his watch in an attempt to hide it, and I can't help but smile to myself again. "I'll...think about it some more. It's getting a little late, but I have a lot more questions. Obviously. So if possible, can we do this again?"

"Anytime!" I say encouragingly.

He straightens like he's about to leave but pauses, his eyes hardening as they slowly flicker back to mine, like he's made up his mind about something. "One last thing," he says, gripping the place above his heart again. "If you can see the string between Ren and me, can you cut it off?" When I don't say anything, he repeats, more firmly this time, "Can you sever the string that binds me to him?" His jaw is set. He's seriously considering this.

It's like a direct slap in the face. I can't help but be utterly horrified by the very prospect of it. "A-Akito." I shudder. "Having a soulmate is a wonderful thing." Even if it's Ren Ichijou. Ren Ichijou is better than nothing. Better than no one. "You can't really want that."

"It would be for the best. Do you think you can do it?" He's turning impatient. He is serious.

"I don't know," I say under my breath, avoiding his eyes. I'm not lying. I really don't know if I even could. It has never crossed my mind to try. Severing the string. My heart nearly stops. I cannot think of a crueller thing to do to someone. "Don't ask me to try. Please."

"You don't understand just how dire my situation is," he persists, his voice rising the slightest bit as his composure starts to crack again. "He's taking over my life. I didn't want this. I want to be free again."

One after the other, his words keep knocking the breath out of me, and my chest starts to swell. I think I'm going to cry. Free? In that case, I never want to be free. I want to be tied down and locked up in the vaults of people's hearts. Bind me. "Akito, a soulmate is someone who can make you happy. You and Ren could make each other happy. Don't you want that?" How could you not want that? I would give up anything for that.

He allows a slip in his controlled expression, his eyes turning sour like he's recalling a bad dream. "I've been nothing but miserable since I've known him."

God, he just won't stop with the conclusive statements. I don't think he realises just how ridiculous all of this sounds to me. Clearly, the only reason he seems to be suffering so much is because he's going about things with Ren in all the wrong ways. I can't let this impossibly stupid idea take root in his head. "Look, it's this distance that's hurting you. Take the initiative, speak to Ren, try and get to know him," I say without bothering to hide my desperation. "It'll get easier."

He isn't convinced whatsoever, and I can see it in his face. "Me. Speak to him? It's not going to work."

"But you haven't even tried—" I protest

He sighs resignedly. "Then," he starts, eyebrows furrowed and mouth tight. "Promise me that you'll try to cut it off, end this, if I try to get along with him and it..." He glances away. "Doesn't work."

"It will work," I insist. "I'll help you," I add, thinking of how he first asked me to do just that, his face pained and bare. "I know that Ren is rude and extremely difficult, and given the choice, you'd want to get out of spending time with him no matter what, but people change sometimes, and—"

"Promise."

He's not giving me a choice. "Fine," I mumble half-heartedly, but inside, I've made up my mind too. I'm not letting it get to that. There's no way.

I sit in silence for a moment with this boy who honestly believes he'll be better off without a soulmate, and suddenly, I feel responsible for the lack of lustre in his eyes. Resolve builds and hardens in my chest. I'm positive that once he's had a taste of what having a soulmate is like, and the comfort and security that come with it, he'll understand. Understand how wrong he is.

"He's not a bad person," Akito murmurs, snapping me back to the present. I look up as he stands, slinging his bag across his shoulders. "He's improper, yes, but he's really not a bad person." His voice drops an octave. "You don't know anything about him, so please don't assume." He gives me a firm nod. "Thank you." I watch him leave, confusion blossoming in my chest.

━━━━━━━⊱✿⊰━━━━━━━

When I return to my classroom, I find that Irina has already left. She never waits for me unless I specifically ask her to, so it's not like I expected her to be here, but it still stings a little. I just came out about my ability to someone, and I'm not sure if it went well. I'm just so tired that I want to be around someone familiar again. I kind of really want to see her.

Ren's here, though. I was hoping he had gone home already. I've been seeing too much of him lately.

The classroom is steadily emptying out, and pushing past the students on cleaning duty for the day, I move towards my desk to get my stuff, my body desperately yearning for the familiar warmth of my house. Right this moment, I want nothing more than to lie on my bed, shut my eyes, and stop seeing red.

I'm almost out the door when someone pushes a mop into my hands. It's the girl who owes me more than ten favours. I stare at her blankly as she speaks, the beginnings of a headache tugging at my brain. "Rubi! Can you please finish up for me today? There's someone I need to meet real soon, and it's important. Thank you so much!" I purse my lips together. I don't want to do this right now. I want to go home. I want to see Mom and Dad.

But I can't really refuse, can I?

My shoulders slump in resignation as I turn around, walking back into the classroom without a word. But not so much as a second later, the mop is suddenly being plucked from my fingers, and I look up to see a black stud glinting in the evening light. Ren lifts the mop and flings it back at the girl, who yelps, fumbling to catch it.

"Do your own damn work, you menace," he barks, and she opens her mouth like she's about to protest, but Ren just turns his back on her without even giving her a chance to respond, whirling to face me. "And you," he huffs. "Speak up when you don't want to do something, or you'll end up with more thorns like that." He motions irritably towards the girl, "Up your ass."

I nod obediently before returning to my senses, blinking up at him in awe. He's already strutting off, grumbling under his breath, and I follow him out, a little dazed and unsure about what just transpired between us. Ren just stood up for me. I think. I didn't realise he was capable of doing stuff like that.

Halfway down the hall to the stairs, he abruptly stops walking and glares at me. "Why the fuck are you following me?"

I look around in confusion. "Me?"

"No shit, I'm questioning my shadow."

"I'm not following you!" I exclaim. "Ren, literally everybody is going this way," I point out when he narrows his eyes at me.

He clicks his tongue and looks away, and deciding that he's done with me, I try to walk past him. Aggravatingly enough, he takes one big step to the side and blocks my path, forcing me to stop once again. "Ren, what the hell?" Up until a while ago, he wouldn't even acknowledge my existence, and now this. 

He doesn't meet my eyes. "Is she okay?" he asks gingerly, his fingers playing around with his piercing.

Again, all I can do is stare. At the serious lines on his face and the sweat collecting in his palms. Does he really care this much? If that's true, why the hell do you keep leaving? I close my eyes, reminding myself of every unacceptable thing that he's done. I don't want to let myself get carried away.

"What do you expect?"

"I fucked up. I'll stay away." He nods like he's done. "I just wanted to say that." He looks somehow smaller, and Akito's words resonate within me. You don't know anything about him. It's...true. I don't. But does it even matter? He hurt Senpai.

I don't know what to say. "Okay."

He hides his face and quickly walks away, and it beats me how he can manage to look so much like an old neighbourhood grump one second and a lost child the next. I'd be lying if I said that it wasn't a little endearing.

END OF CHAPTER