(Finally caught this story up with the one on AFF. Will be keeping the same A/N's, so if they don't make sense or you're just like what, that's why.)

Cross posting stories on Wattpad. It's so weird compared to AFF, like, I think it doesn't allow indents. What the heck??? I don't know, iffy and whatnot but it's w/e. New to it.

I really have no excuse for the long overdue update.

Can we also just thank Mr. Kim Wonsik for blessing us? Like, Damn Ra, putting out fire tracks one after another.

Please ignore any mistakes— unedited.

Wonsik laid there silently for quite sometime, fingers slowly and softly threading through Taekwoon's almond locks before cautiously slipping away. He quietly climbed off the bed, eyes locked on the softly snoring figure that shifted slightly, making him freeze in his movements.

"Wonsik..." Taekwoon's nose crinkled adorably as a sigh left his parted lips, head turning back and forth until dug itself into the pillow that the tattooed man had previously occupied.

The younger felt a smile tug at his lips, standing up from the bed as he had made it to the edge. He took soft steps over to the sleeping body, leaning down to press a kiss on the others neck before pulling away and heading towards the window.

Only once his feet met the ground did he let out a loud huff, eyes staring back up longingly at the entrance he had just exited from. He hugged his loose clothing tighter against his body as he slowly made his way down the empty street, shivering a little as the cool air hit him

As he headed towards his friends house, he felt waves of pain hit him, emotionally.

He had never cried before, yet he had basically bawled his eyes out in front of the one person he truly wanted to look strong to; Taekwoon. He had sobbed like a baby, hugging the other tight against his chest as tears ran down his face in streams. Never had he felt so helpless and sad— vulnerable.

"Let me help you too."

Those words had affected him more than he would like to admit.

He had been independent for the most part of his life, fending for himself. He learned how to survive on little to no help, how dirty and cold the world treated those of a lower social class. He was the one his family had to depend on as his father was too busy with the illegal things he did, his mother too fragile and oftentimes too sick to hold up a job.

He ran fingers through his hair repeatedly, anxiety creeping up on his as he felt his body tremble. His hands shook as he brought them down to his sides, clenching them into tight fists before quickening his pace.

He took the most direct route to a house he hadn't been to since forever— since he began sleeping at home— nearly sprinting up the short flight of stairs before basically ramming his knuckles into the wooden door repeatedly.

"Who the fuck do you think you are, coming to my house at four in the motherfucking morning, banging on this door like you fucking own the motherfucking hou—Ravi." The tanned man let out a huff as he glared at the man standing on his door steps. "Of cour— hey. Hey, hey, hey, what's wrong?"

Wonsik couldn't hold in the sob that ripped itself from his lips as he gripping onto his hair tightly, shaking his head rapidly. He let himself be pulled into the warm house, into the skinny but warm arms that wrapped themselves around him tightly. "Jaehwan." His voice rasped out.

"What's wrong? What happened, Wonsik?" The male's real name felt foreign on the elders tongue, just like how his own name felt when the others voice reached his ears. Jaehwan rarely ever addressed Ravi by his real name just like he never called the elder by his, simply calling him Ken.

"Y-You think I can stay here the night?" Wonsik pushed the elder away, hiccuping the slightest as he struggled to breath. He most definitely shed too many tears for one night but they seemed endless, refusing to stop now that the dam was broken.

"Yeah, man. You're always welcomed to spend the night." Jaehwan awkwardly dusted off nonexistent lint from his pants as he guided the younger over to the couch. "What's up, you good?"

"Yeah... actually, no. No, I'm not good." Wonsik sighed pathetically as he sat down, hands rubbing at his face. "Fuck."

"Want to tell me what happened? Does it have to do with why I haven't seen you in awhile?" The tone the elder used was careful, his words picked out carefully, fear that he may push a button that would release more tears. Truth be told, Jaehwan wasn't the best at comforting people but he did try his best.

"Remember how I told you I met this one guy? Well, yeah. That's what happen." Wonsik sniffled as wiped his eyes once more. "That kid is fucking me up."

"Kid?" Jaehwan frowned, "Didn't you say he was older?"

"He might as well be a kid with how much he has experienced in life." Wonsik scoffed, "Not the point though."

"Right, right." The mint haired elder grinned sheepishly, "Is he why you're crying like a baby?"

Wonsik glared at him before turning away to stare at the wall, "No... maybe. Yeah. Ugh, I don't know." He threw his face into tainted hands, another sigh leaving his lips. "I'm so confused. I like him... trust me, I really fucking do but I feel like I'm taking advantage of the poor thing. The thought is always in the back of my mind. He says he likes me too but... fuck. Does he know what like is? Or at least the kind of like I'm feeling?"

"What do you mean?" Jaehwan cocked his head to the side in confusion. Wonsik had filled him in about Taekwoon before, a very short and drunken conversation they had but he had understood most of it. The morning after, the tattooed male basically threatened that if he were to tell anyone about Taekwoon, their friendship would be over and he wasn't to blame if the elder male were to be found dead.

Though he knew the younger would never actually kill him, Jaehwan shivered at the remembrance of Wonsiks long fingers firmly around his neck as he was pushed against his own living room wall.

How did he make such scary friends?

"He's the best thing that's ever happen to me, Jaehwan. He makes me feel... happy. Every time I'm with him, I forget about all the bad things in life and just have pointless conversations with him. He makes me feel a little bit more sane." Wonsik had a soft smile on his face before the gleam in his eyes darkened, a frown taking over his features as he turned his head towards his friend.

Jaehwan blinked.

"But what am I to him? A bad influence? Fuck man, the first time he saw me... I-I had a man by the neck against the wall." Definitely has a thing for choking people, Jaehwan concluded as he nodded. "First time I brought him out, I took him to the worst area I could've. We ran into three guys that had finished fucking someone in the alley, man. First night I spent with him consisted of him cleaning up my cuts and shit from fight, more weeks consisting of the same thing after. All I've ever done is fucking screwed him up. All he's known is good and I come along and I just— I just..." Wonsik closed his eyes tightly as he shook his head.

"Show him reality?" Jaehwan asked softly, shifting in his seat to get comfortable. "Wonsik, you've done nothing wrong. I mean, I guess showing him that place wasn't the best decision and coming to his house beaten up wasn't that smart... but uh..." He scratched at his mint hair awkwardly, "It wasn't your fault that he saw you beating those guys up. It was self-defense." Shrugging, the slightly older male coughed.

"That's not even all of it man." Wonsik cried out as he threw his head back desperate to sort out his feelings as he stared up at the ceiling. "I'm pretty sure I took his first fucking kiss."

"And?"

"He should've saved it for someone he truly likes, once he's met more people. I shouldn't... I shouldn't have taken it." Wonsik sighed once more.

"What makes you think he'll want anyone else once he's met them? I mean he kissed you back right?" Jaehwan pondered.

"How am I sure he didn't just kiss me because I'm the only one that has? He doesn't know anyone outside besides his parents and me. He doesn't know... he doesn't know what like is. He's never had the chance to explore and experience it." Tattooed hands came up to thread through blonde hair once more, tugging at them frustratedly; Wonsik could feel a few strands get pulled by the roots but didn't have enough energy to care, not when he couldn't even voice his complicated thoughts correctly.

Taekwoon just didn't know. He can't. How can he when he's been locked in a cage his whole life?

"Wonsik, think about it like this. Yeah, you're the only person he knows besides his parents. All he's known is good... yet, why hasn't he ran away from you? Why does he continuously let you come into his life? You'd think he'd scream bloody murder that day you showed up at his window but he didn't. He tended to you, he cared for you and he's continuously doing so. You're not as bad as you think, Wonsik. You really aren't so stop thinking you are." Jaehwan spoke with a seriousness that the other wasn't use to. He let the elders words ring in his ears, clashing with his own thoughts that thrummed loudly in his head.

"Just sleep on it. You're tired, man. Sleep. Think about it tomorrow with a better outlook, a fresh mind." Jaehwan got up, patting his friend's shoulder supportingly.

The blonde male whispered his thanks before throwing his body down across the couch, sprawling out like he usually did before turning on his side.

He closed his eyes

It felt weird, almost foreign, to be sleeping on his friend's couch again. It was lumpy on some spots, not continuously flat and soft like Taekwoon's bed. The soft scent of Taekwoon's shampoo and body wash wasn't there, that warm body he loved hugging wasn't there. Instead, it had a scent of cigarettes and another inconspicuous smell he didn't dare try to identify, a cold feeling surrounding his body.

He wasn't use to this.

He needed Taekwoon.

And it was pathetic how much he did.

Independent and strong Ravi became the weak and needy Wonsik. He could barely spend a few hours away from Taekwoon now, body basically begging him to go back and hug the almond haired man in his arms tightly, dearly.

He exhaled heavily through his nose, tossing and turning for another minute before letting sleep grip at him tightly.

"I don't get paid enough for this shit... hell, what am I talking about? I don't even get paid." Wonsiks brows furrowed, a croaked groan leaving his lips as he turned his head from one side to another. "Hey, fuck face, get up. I made breakfast."

Silence.

"I'm giving you three seconds to get up or you can starve." The man laying limp limbed on the couch cracked one eye open grudgingly, the sight of his glaring friend above him not the most ideal thing to wake up to.

Now Taekwoon— that was a sight to see first thing everyday.

"Fuck man, five more minutes." He whined, turning towards the back of the couch, "Just leave it on the table."

"I'm not a parent and you aren't my child so get your ass up. You should be crying with appreciation right now over the fact that I didn't leave you to starve. God knows you can't cook anything else other than ramen." Jaehwan flicked the side of his head before shaking his shoulder violently in attempt to jostle the other awake.

"Fine, fine. I'm up, I'm up!" Wonsik groaned, sitting up as his fingers thrashed and tugged through his dark locks agitatedly. "Can't a man get some sleep?"

The other scoffed in return, "In his own home, sure."

"What time is it?" Wonsik searched around for his phone, feeling it stab quite uncomfortable under his left buttock, pulling it out quickly. "Who the fuck wakes up at 7am? Crazy people."

"And that's why we're up." Chirped the elder happily, pushing Wonsik over some to sit himself down flamboyantly on the spot the other was just laying on. "Now eat up."

Wonsik sighed, glancing at the cooked but slightly burnt breakfast that was set neatly on a plate.

It's the thought that counts, he shrugged as he swung his legs over to sit properly, grabbing at the utensils placed next to the said arrangement.

"I'm no chef, but I tried." Jaehwan conversed absentmindedly as he scarfed down his own dish of food. The younger glanced at his friend and back to the plate in hand wearily, the edibility of it now doubted as Wonsik was sure the other wasn't even chewing his food, merely going through a shove-and-swallow process. "What're you going to do today?"

"Probably run some errands. Check up on my parents, schedule some fights, workout possibly, the usual." He brought a slightly darker than usual strip of bacon to his mouth, nibbling on it before deeming it okay.

"You know..." Jaehwan trailed off for a second, staring at the wall in ponder, "Have you ever thought of trying to go to more legal fights? Like, in a ring with actual referees to keep you animals from killing each other?"

Wonsik chewed slowly, cocking his head in thought before shaking it, "Nah. That's too much work. You have to find a coach that's willing to take you in and then train before having a debut fight and that's just... a long process. I need quick cash."

"Yeah, but you could be making a lot more in the long run if you try." He tried to convince.

"No Jaehwan. Like, I need quick cash. I don't have the time to train and go through conditioning before I can start earning. Plus, it's not really up my alley. I'm only fighting because I have to, not because I want to."

"Why not get a job like normal people? That old lady at the store would totally take you in and you know it." Jaehwan put his empty plate back on the table.

"Well, I'm not exactly normal, am I?" Wonsik snorted, shaking his head as he finished his last bites, "Speaking of which, I asked Joon to put me in for a six hundred, think you can come?"

"Why?" His fingers curled around the handle of a mug that was filled to the brim with coffee that had one too many scoops of sugar.

"Well, I don't think anything bad will happen but Joon warned me that it might be a little more dangerous than usual. Better safe than sorry, right?" The tattooed male shrugged in return, grimacing slightly as he watched the other take a sip of his more or less diabetes causing drink.

"Alright, I'll be there with my car to whisk you away after you beat some ass. Just shoot me a text of when." Jaehwan offered a smile, "Now help me wash these dishes, you little shit."

Wonsik knocked on the window rapidly, watching with a grin on his face as Taekwoon opened up the window. He maneuvered himself in, smile widening, "Hey, guess what I got you?" He shook the plastic bag in his hand.

"I hope it's an apology letter because I'm not happy with you right now." Taekwoon gave him a 'hmph' before bounding out into the living room area to finish his lunch. "It wasn't nice to wake up alone. It was so cold." He pouted as he stuffed his face with bibimbap as he glared at the male whose mood was dampened the slightest.

"I got you a phone." He pulled out the chair in front of Taekwoon happily, placing the bag in front of him.

"A phone?"

"A phone." Wonsik chirped.

He pulled out the rectangular box, shaking it teasingly from side to side. "It might not be the best thing ever since it's only an iPhone 5 already used but it works just fine. Screens not broken, everything is functioning fine."

Taekwoon slowly placed the spoon in hand down, eyebrows furrowed as he stared at the device Wonsik had taken out. "Why?"

"Why? So I can talk to you whenever and vice versa." Wonsik smiled, "I can take pictures of places you haven't seen yet and send them to you. Plus, it'll keep you from getting too bored at home. Here."

Taekwoon waited patiently as Wonsik placed the phone in between them, watching the eaten Apple start up screen. "My parents have this. They don't use it often at home but I've seen it lying around somewhere. I've used it before so I'm familiar with it the slightest."

"You have?" The others eyebrows rose up in surprise, "How come you don't have one?"

The elder shrugged in response, "I never really needed it I guess. We have a home phone that they call ever so often to check up on me but that's rarely."

"Ahh. Well, this bad boy is going to be for me and you." Wonsik nodded as the screen changed into its introduction page. "Here, go through this process. Skip anything you don't have answers to or I can fill it in with mine."

The two spent the rest of their afternoon with Wonsik teaching Taekwoon more about his mobile device, adding two numbers in there— Wonsiks of course and Jaehwans for emergencies only. The younger had the mind to put Taekwoons address under the contact information but decided against it. If anyone were to look through his phone and find out the elders address...

"Alright, baby. I think that's all you gotta know." He kissed Taekwoons temple softly, standing up from the couch they had been cuddling on. "I'll be back in a few hours alright? Few errands left to run."

Taekwoon pouted, cocking his head to the side, "Do you have to?"

"Yes," Wonsik laughed heartily, ruffling up the others hair affectionately, "Yes, I have to."

"Swear you'll be back in a few hours? Promise?" Taekwoon asked, walking the other to the door.

"Promise."

"Fucking bitch! This isn't what we asked for."

Wonsik bounded down the hallways quicker, turning the corner to see two men standing in front of the apartment door to where his mother was, flinching as a wad of cash was slapped at her.

"Two thousand, old lady. Two thousand. What the fuck is this? You think we can't count or some shit?" The man raised his arm once more, seemingly about to slap his mother in the money but the action was stopped by a hand in his wrist.

"It's not nice to hit people are old enough to be your mother." Wonsik said calmly, releasing his grip on the others hand as he tried to tug it away.

"But she's not my mother so why would I care? Who the fuck are you, her son?" He scoffed, "Like mother like son... trash."

"Wow, nice one. How long did it take for you to come up with that?" Wonsik let out a low whistle before pursing his lips. "Also, get your facts straight. It was nine hundred some, not two thousand."

"Actually, Wonsik—" His mother started nervously, wringing his fingers together tightly, "—these gentlemen here are right. It seems that I gave you the wrong number. Apologize, hm?" Wonsik stared at his mother, appalled that she hadn't told him about the change in money and the fact that she address the two as gentlemen.

"Two thousand?" Wonsik whispered, feeling that throbbing ache in the back of his head once more. Two fucking thousand. "Where's that shitface of an old man?"

"Yes, idiot. I'm giving you and your husband a five days to scrap that money together— and that's me being generous." With that, they walked away, each bumping Wonsik in the shoulder harshly as they laughed it off, taking joy in another's misery.

Wonsik fumed as he pushed against his mother as gently as he could, storming into the shack. He almost gagged at the smell that facilitated throughout the living room, his father leaning over to pick up a bottle on the table with a cigarette between his lips.

Without a second thought, his legs took off and next thing he knew, they were on the floor rolling for dominance over the other, shouts and curses thrown at each other in second nature. The only thing ringing in his ears was that loud and continuous beep that blocked out the cries and begs of his mother, telling him to stop.

After a few moments of tussling, Wonsik planted himself on top of his father, fists immediately flying down, one blow after another. He became even more curious as his father blocked each one, trying to land some of his own before the younger had socked him bruisingly on his cheek. Fingers gripped the area in pain but that didn't stop Wonsik, adrenaline rushing in his veins as he finally made a successful hit.

"Wonsik! Stop!" A hand gripped his shoulder tightly, tugging him back and only then did his sense come back. He breathed heavily, gasping and panting for oxygen as his hands fell limply at his sides, staring down at the bloody and groaning mess of his father. He hadn't broken anything on the man but he knew he had cause some pretty good damage. "Get off of him!"

He fell to the side, sitting numbingly as he watched his sobbing mother grab at his father's face, stroking it tenderly as she kept telling the man he'd be okay.

His mother turned to glare at him, making the air in his lungs leave as the sting in his chest only intensified. "How could you? H-How could you, Won-Wonsik?" She cried out at him, voice cracking as she yelled.

"How could I?" He repeated in a whisper as he stood up, limbs feeling weak. "How... could I? How could he! He knows we're trying to make ends meet yet he's out there making the problem bigger! I'm sorry that I'm just trying to fix the problem."

"Oh, and how's that working out for you?" He spit back with malice that shocked him, "Did beating up your own father help? Is the problem gone?" She helped the said man sit up before standing up on her own.

"He is the problem. He has no fucking self contr—" Wonsiks head whipped to the side, cheeking burning more than ever at the remembrance of his mother's hand slapping across his face. His fingers slowly skimming the skin, head turning to face his mother with devastation.

"Watch your mouth! After what I saw, I think it's you that has no self-control." Her chest heaved up and down as tears streamed her face endlessly. She tried her best to blink them away, wiping her face as she cleared her throat. "I think you need to leave."

"Are you serious?" He whispered in disbelief, staring at the women he cared for most.

"Yes. Leave, Wonsik." She repeated, bending down to help the man up.

"Ma'... Me or him? Choose." Wonsik asked, hand falling down to his side. "Your son, who tries his best to provide for you, or that man that can't even hold a job for more than a day? When I walk out those doors, it's over mom. I'm done trying."

Silence ensued after, everyone in the room taking in his words, even his father surprisingly enough. He waited patiently, stoic look on his face to mask the anxiety that was weighing heavily within him.

"Go." She whispered, taking his father's hand into hers as she led him over to the couch. Both men stared at her in shock— Wonsiks in disbelief while the old mans was in relief.

And so he did.

"You ready, man?" Jaehwan asked him, patting his shoulders excitedly. His grin slowly dropped awkwardly as he was greeted with silence, eyebrows furrowing at the odd and dazed expression on his friend's face. "You okay man?"

Wonsik blinked at him blankly, nodding slowly as he murmured an almost incoherent, "Yeah." He paused, "Yeah, I'm fine. I'll be fine."

"You sure?" Jaehwan rubbed his back in worry, frowning even more when Wonsik shook him off hastily.

"Yeah, I'll be alright. You remember the game plan right?" Wonsik looked around at the crowd that was starting to grow not only getting rowdier but also exceeding the usual amount of audience he was used to.

"If shit goes haywire, get the fuck out?" Jaehwan joked, "I know dude. You've reminded me a millions times."

"Just want to make sure you know." He cracked a smile before his face went serious once more, "And remember, no hospitals. I don't care how fucked up I may get, hospitals are off limits. I don't want to have to deal with that shit."

"Yeah, I know, I know. They'll pry and get the cops involved and then you don't have the time or money— blah, blah, blah." Jaehwan sided dramatically, glancing at Wonsik from the corner of his eye. "I got you, don't worry. But question, where do you want me to take you if this does end up bad? Because let's be honest, my first aid skills are pretty much mediocre. I basically just lend you the shit and patch yourself up."

Wonsik bit his lip in thought, glancing at Joon who was signaling him over. "Just... Just take me to your place. Let me rest on it and I'll take care of it tomorrow. That is, if shit goes wrong— which I highly doubt." He sent one last cheeky grin to his friend who simply slapped him on the back with an obnoxious hwaiting.

"Alright, so you see that guy there?" Joon spoke to him as he approached, nodding to one of the more muscular guys standing across from them with his own group of friends hyping him up. "That's who you're going up against, 'Kay?"

Wonsik nodded, eyes analyzing the man he would be putting his life on the line with. "Yeah, alright, thanks."

"You good?" An eyebrow was raised, "Nervous?"

"I'm good." Wonsik breathed out, "Starting soon?"

He glanced down at his wrist watch before humming, "Yep. Good luck, Ravi."

The tattooed male huffed out a breath, jumping in his steps a little to warm himself up, shaking his hands down by his sides. He went through his quick routine of alternating inhales and exhales, slowly working his adrenaline up as Joon started getting the crowds attention. He strided over to his spot with a few more deep breaths, glancing back at Jaehwan who grinned and gave a thumbs up, accompanied by a wink he simply chuckled lowly at.

"You two ready?" Joon asked, glancing to the man. "Jiwoo? Ravi?" They glanced at each other for a second before nodding, "Alright, then... Go!"

Go.

Go.

GO.

Wonsik stared blankly at Jiwoo's approaching figure, the adrenaline he had built up before subsiding.

Go?

His thoughts repeated his mother's words, a bitter taste building up on his tongue at the sound of it. How could she tell him to go? To just leave after everything he's done? How... How could she ask him to leave so easily? How could she abandon him for him.

That fucking bastard.

What did he provide that Wonsik didn—

"WONSIK!"

The world went sideways as his body hit the ground, quite roughly at that. Before he could even comprehend his position, punches were slowly cutting his face open left and right. His instincts kicked in a little too late but did nevertheless, his arms coming up to protect his face from the continuous attacks.

His mind went haywire as a part of it was trying to think about how to turn the table, another thinking out his mother, and the last bit scolding him for getting distracted. His breath quickened as his arms started to feel numb, body finally going into motion as he got a quick but effective jab in, stunning the large male above him just long enough to tip his balance off.

"Get your fucking head out of the clouds you dumbass!" Jaehwans words filled his ears, tone distraught and slightly higher pitched than usual.

He moved his arms in quick one-two-breath motions, refusing to relent as the other thrusted his pelvic bones up to get him off.

Go.

Go. Go. Go!

"Fuck!" Wonsik grunted out as his body fell awkwardly and painfully head first to the floor, getting up in his feet with haste as the opponent did the same. "Focus, focus. Focus, Wonsik."

He shook his head, muttering the same words under his breath like a mantra. It only came to be another fruitless attempt and an even farther distraction as his body was slammed into again, knuckles digging into his already bruised cheekbone, breaking the skin there on impact.

His vision started to blur, a loud and drawn out ring sounding in his ear. He looked around for his friend, catching sight of Jaehwan screaming, screaming something his ears couldn't quite catch. His brows furrowed, eyes squinting to make out the words that just refused to connect to a coherent sentence.

His eyes widened at the pain that spread through his body in waves, head turning in shock to look at the man who had a more or less crazed grin.

Everything hit him at once, screams and cries, cheers and claps, vivid colors that had been forgotten filling his vision once more as his body slump, blood dripping out of his mouth.

"WONSIK!"

He barely managed to spit out the blood pooling behind his lips before he took another punch the the ribs, crying out in pain.

"STOP! Stop the damn fight!" He could hear his friends words, the desperation and fear in his voice as it cracked mid sentence.

Fight.

What was he fighting for? What was he doing here? Getting bruised for a couple hundreds, risking his life for people who wouldn't give his existence a second thought, is it worth it?

Are they worth it?

He wasn't even the chance to think as his body hit the ground once more, arms trapped between the others strong thighs like the rest of his body, becoming a punching bag in a matter of seconds.

Wonsik swore he saw Jaehwan running towards him but he wasn't too confident, darkness consumed him too quickly.

Black.

I miss you guys so much! Been too long, like, really fucking long. How are you guys? I feel like we're complete strangers as I post this.

Why did I rewrite this chapter you may ask, well. TBH, It was complete shit before. I honestly had a major writers block because of it. The whole dream thing killed my vibe. Hope y'all like this version better. Shit basically gets real from here on out.