I was in the woods with some absolute dinguses. I mean some ABSOLUTE ding dongs. I am, of course, talking about the raccoons I became friends with seconds ago.

We were all cold from the lack of fire. Well, actually, they were cold. I'm too hot to be cold. Because if the SHEER heat from my legs, I was able to start a fire with the power of thigh.

One of my co workers, Jambso, came behind me with a huge gift, I mean a HUGE gift, right near his junk

"Are you really going to try this? Especially after last time?"

"Last time?"

I took my foot and booted the gift off of him. However, his wang wasn't inside. The gift was a small bear toy that said "I Love Shit"

"Excuse me, Jambso?"

"It was a gag gift, bro!"

"You wanna treat MY partner to such a vile gift?!"

"What-"

My raccoon friends tackled him and I took my opportunity to set his dick on fire.