I know this isn't exposted to be a vent book, and that recently that's all I've been using it for, and I'm sorry about that.

I feel like I'm only serving to hurt others. I'm not being any use the the world, all I do hurts others. Whether I want to or not, I can't do anything more than just hurt, hurt hurt.

I don't want to be a nuisance, yet here we are.

I don't want to hurt others, yet here we are,

I get jealous when my friends don't hang out with me, and I know it's selfish and I want to Kms because of it.

I'm having more suicidal thoughts then when I got sent to the mental hospital, but at least I'm not acting on them.

I want to have attention, but I know I'm asking for to much and that I should just stop talking to people for the better for them.

I don't want to be toxic, but I'm scared to hell that I might be toxic without realizing it.

I have little motivation to draw, write or do anything but dissociate. Hell, I barely have enough motivation do write this.

Maybe I should just shut down my account, leave all of my friends and be alone for a while because I feel like I'm becoming toxic.

I don't want to hurt people but I know I am.

I just want to disappear and not have anyone worry about me.

I am more tempted than I should to just delete my wattpad account, and leave all of my friends for the better for everyone's sake but mine.

I don't want to be toxic but I think I am becoming toxic.

I want attention but I'm to scared of asking for it because I don't want to sound needy.

I hate myself so fucking much, why do I have to be like this.

And before any of y'all say "you don't act toxic to us!". I act different IRL than online, I'm sorry.

I don't want to do this anymore

I don't want to go back to the mental hospital, but it might be for the best that I'm locked up in there forever.

Help.