"It's my high dead-finition knifu waifu!"

"I got rejected by the worst guy in our class how is anyone ever gonna like me?"
*VAGUE HAND GESTURES*

"He always beats you? That's abuse!"

"Do you think people named Joe are offended by the phrase "average Joe" knowing that their name is a metaphor for lameness?"

"You can block me out but you can't block the truth!"

"Broke: All your average joe swears
Woke: HECKASONGA"

"SCREW DAYLIGHT SAVINGS"

"PDA is not okay!"
"YOUR FACE IS NOT OKAY"

"It's Pi day, so I had pie for breakfast."

"Cha-oes not cay-ahs."

"Why is it that a 30% trigger rate on Cute Charm has worked 3/4 times."
"Why does Ryoma miss a 98% hit but Takumi get a 3% crit? Life is full of questions."

"I've never seen Star Wars."
"If you have any flaws, that is one of them."

"That was refreshing, to go stab people in a mall."