miss the way you make me feel, i'm hoping this is a nightmare
that this isn't real.
_____________
dan

phil's messy limbs crawled through my window onto the cozy bay, littered with pillows and things to make me comfortable if i ever wanted to look a little closer out into the dirty world.

he let out a laugh through his nose, smiling at me as i giggled with my hands clasped together.

"how are you?" he breathed, his eyes traveling the length of my exposed arms to my eyes.

"good." i said simply and even if it wasn't the complete truth, i did feel good in that moment.

he nodded, standing up and walking to my bed where he placed his bag and pulled out a clutter of books.

i let my eyes fall on him, taking gentle steps towards the bed and sliding onto the thick blankets to sit on my legs.

he turned his head to look up at me, our faces level and close as a smile caught on his lips.

"sorry if you're tired i just wanted to get this done." he let out a shy chuckle, full of warm breath.

how i would love to swallow that heat.

i nodded, moving back to sit cross legged with my hands resting in my lap.

"just remember to be quiet, my mum's down the hallway." i whispered, though i doubt he was listening as i watched his eyes follow my hands which were currently adjusting my loose pale shirt so it wouldn't show my collar bones so much.
____
phil

i let out a small breath, wishing i could press my lips against those prominent bones.

i couldn't deny he was pretty.

in fact very pretty, especially in this lighting.

with his hair a mess of curls and the tan of his skin contrasting to his pale pink shirt in the yellow lighting. the shirt was a few sizes too big, the sleeves slipping off his shoulders showing off the pure skin of his neck and chest rid of colour.

oh wow i wish i could cover that milky skin with purple bruises.

i was pulled from my thoughts by his voice, soft and even.

"you okay?" were the only two words he let out, his hands gently scratching at his bare thighs and his eyes half lidded, he must've been tired.

i nodded, "y-yeah, wanna get started?" i ripped my eyes from his smooth thighs to maintain eye contact.

he pushed his messy book towards me, small sketches laced the edges of each word filled page.

i started to copy down some of the notes into my book for future use, laying on my stomach.

i could see the signs of his exhaustion through the corner of my eye, he kept rubbing his hand over his face and playing with his hair.

"you can go to sleep if you want, i'll move to the desk." i said quietly, to not alarm him.

he shook his head and i had fortunately been watching him as he mouthed his next choice of communication, "i'm okay."

i kept my eyes on his and for some reason i felt that we were initiating something, so my hands started to push the books towards the edge of the bed and i slowly crawled closer to him.

never breaking eye contact, i suddenly was on top of him with my twitchy hands pressing gently against the purple bruises resting on his cheekbones.

his body was calm under mine, our hips laying against one another's.

"i'm tired," his hot breath hit my face before my brain could register his words, "will you hold me?"

and that's how it all ended up, books falling off the bed with the slightest movement, the yellow light on his bedside drawers being flicked off with whispered instructions that i had to 'reach down beside the bed to turn it off at the wall' from dan and our heads resting together, his forehead slightly warm against mine every time one of us would slightly adjust our faces on the pillow and we would move closer.
__________
well this was trash i'm sorry