He was not staring at the lens of the camera I was holding-he was looking intently at me.

- ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🏐་༘࿐ -

I cannot remember the exact time when I decided to quit being a photojournalist. Maybe it was when I got scolded for accidentally leaving the camera charged for the whole night? Or was it when I tripped over those foolish roots while trying to take stolen shots and ended up being filmed instead?

Ewan. Hindi ko na rin matandaan masyado. Pero parang doon yata nagsimula lahat noong championship last year. It was when the team fought against our rival school and secured their first ever win.

Tanda ko pa kung paano pinagsisigawan ng lahat ang pangalan nila, ang pangalan niya.

It was one of their toughest battles that everyone felt the same pressure. I was standing beside the court at that time, holding my camera and taking the last photo before I stepped down as a photojournalist.

Iyon ang unang panalo ng team. Perhaps, that was his first win too. And his first win counted as my first loss.

Napagalitan pa nga ako no'n dahil sa picture na kinunan ko. It was blurry. The winning shot almost didn't feel right because I lost my composure after I saw him raising the trophy with pride.

"Isa pa. Last."

I blew a sigh before giving in to their request.

Kung mayroon mang natira sa pagkatao ko bago ko talikuran ang lahat, ito na siguro iyon. Hindi man ako parte ng club, pero hindi ko naman maiwan ang kinahiligan ko. Nakakonekta na ang puso ko sa camera, nakabaon na ang mata sa lente, at nakadikit na rin ang mundo ko sa bawat kuhang ninanakaw ko.

Still that old Clarinet Arzuela, but this time a bit more distant.

"What if i-report ko iyong page mo para sa'min na ulit sila magpa-picture?" I didn't need to turn around just to see who's trying to blackmail me like that. Of course it was Shade. My cousin, and the assistant chief of the photography club.

"Ayusin mo muna angle mo bago ka magyabang," ganti ko pero tinawanan niya lang.

I knew that laugh very well. She wouldn't just pester me out of the blue if her pocket wasn't full of banters.

"Nakita mo na 'no?"

As cliché as it may sound, I acted as if I was no longer affected. Alam ko ang tinutukoy niya. Alam na alam ko kung saan na naman papunta ang usapang 'to.

With eyes fixed on my camera, trying to keep my face completely unbothered, I answered, "Alin, iyong banner sa labas?" pauna kong sabi. "Malamang, oo. Ilan ba gate natin, 'di ba isa? Paanong hindi ko makikita e nilagay niyo sa harap?"

I heard her snort as if trying to control her laugh. Inis ko naman siyang nilingon kung kaya't agad din siyang tumikhim.

I crossed my arms. "For someone with a tight schedule, you seem pretty carefree. Mukhang ang dami mo yatang oras ngayon, Shade. Nakuha mo pa talaga akong bwisitahin."

"I just took a break after hours of work. Hindi naman ako machine para magtrabaho nang walang pahinga, Rinet. Tsaka isa pa, hindi ba pwedeng sinusubukan ko lang din iyong ginagawa mo dati? Naisip ko lang kasing i-test kung magagalit din ba si Pres kapag tinakasan ko iyong obligasyon ng club."

That earned a short laugh from us. We used to be working buddies back then. And when I say buddies, I mean it literally. I often took her shift every time she was dealing with her academic loads. And Shade covered for mine when I wasn't around. Madalas man naming gawin iyon pero hindi ko lang maintindihan kung bakit ako lang ang palaging napag-iinitan sa loob.

Hindi kami magkasundo ng President. Mainit iyong dugo niya sa'kin at gano'n din ako sa kaniya. I don't even consider that club healthy in the first place. No'ng una, wala naman akong naging problema sa loob. Pero nang magtagal, doon na ako nawalan ng gana. Shade was the only reason why I stayed for months. But still, I ran out of patience. I can't just keep on forcing myself into a puzzle that ain't cut out for me, right?

"Do you really not have any plan to come back, Rinet?" she asked, voice a little carefulnot to press old wounds.

Ilang beses niya na rin akong tinanong. Makailang ulit ko na rin siyang natanggihan. I already made up my mind. Hindi na ako ulit babalik sa isang lugar kung saan hindi naman ako nilalagyan ng espasyo.

I hate working with entitled students. Kung alam ko lang sana na gano'ng klaseng seniors iyong aabutan ko sa club, hindi na sana ako nagpasa ng form. I signed for it too quickly that I forgot to do a background check. Napasubo tuloy ako sa mga taong wala sa bokabularyo ang salitang respeto.

Sayang nga at walang evaluation. Naka-suggest na sana ako na ibenta iyong ibang lens kapalit ang magandang ugali.

I shrugged. "Maybe if you could offer me dollars per shot, I might really give it a try."

"Siraulo."

Shade accompanied me through that whole afternoon. Hindi siya pumasok sa last period nila para lang isumbong sa'kin ang lahat ng nangyari sa kaniya nitong mga nakaraang araw. We may be in the same strand, but we seldom meet. Pinakamarami na yata iyong tatlong beses sa isang linggo. May mga pagkakataon nga na hindi talaga kami nagkikita. She's busy with the club, and so am I in my life. Kaya nga kung nabibigyan kami ng kakaunting oras, hinahayaan naming makahinga ang isa't isa.

I listened to her rants. We were both Grade 11 students, trying to survive the HUMSS storm. A little complaining would help her ease the burden. Not to mention that we were also broke at the same time.

Magpinsan nga talaga kaming tunay.

Just when Shade bid her goodbye and left me alone in the locker area, a familiar school bus stopped meters away from the building. Napahinto ang lahat. All eyes were suddenly glued towards the group of guys towering over the cement field, completely stunned by how they were welcomed inside. Iyong suot nilang training gears, halatang binalot ng pawis. Some of them looked sleepy, I even caught one of their teammates rubbing his eyes as if he had just woken up from a deep nap.

They all looked tired from their trainings. But the moment they saw how almost everyone in the campus cheered for their names, that exhaustion disappeared. Parang sa isang iglap, biglang nawala iyong lahat ng pagod at ang tanging natira ay matinding paghanga.

Pinanood ko sila kung paano kawayan pabalik ang halos lahat ng estudyante sa campus. Nagsisigawan ang lahat. Their roaring chants made the boys beam in delight. They were craning their necks just to meet the cheers from the students on the higher floors. Ngayon lang sila nakabalik mula sa tatlong araw na pagliban para sa kompetisyon.

True to what they claimed, they really went home bringing the title of champions.

Sa ilang segundo kong pagtitig sa kanila, wala akong nakitang bahid ng yabang.

Gailen wasn't really lying about them being heroes. Because what I saw was a group beaming with so much pride. And so, like a habit I've grown accustomed to, I lifted my camera. Tinutok ko iyon sa puwesto nila at kinunan ang isang aspeto na hindi masyadong nakakatawag ng pansin. I adjusted my lens a few times, taking different shots as if I was telling a series of stories. At sa huling paglipat ko ng anggulo, isang tagpo ang kusa na lamang na nagpahinto sa akin.

I saw Kitch looking at my direction. And he was not staring at the lens of the camera I was holding-he was looking intently at me.