The smell of wet dog and pheromones lingered in my bedroom the next morning. It told me sleeping in Raina's room that night was a good idea. She was surprised when Elena knocked on her door with my bedding and she made me sleep on the floor. But once she heard what I'd done to Torak and understood I didn't want to sleep in Cole and Elena's room, she welcomed me in with no hesitation.

Torak's reputation of being a player hadn't reached me in the infirmary. Despite being 'quite taken' with me, he also made a pass at Raina the second night we were here. She was a bit more direct, took him by the throat and threatened to remove every reproductive organ from his body if he so much as looked in her direction again.

I slept very sound that night, even on the floor of her room.

He got what he deserved from both of us.

Smiling to myself, I walked across the hall back to my room that morning. I showered and dressed to avoid being late for my first appointment with Luna Rashida. After a quick breakfast in the kitchen, I spotted Beta Valko refilling a large coffee cup and headed over to his side.

"There's the trouble-maker," he greeted me with a wide smile.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." I couldn't have hidden the smile on my face no matter how hard I tried.

"Funny pup," he returned my smile with a chuckle. "Whole pack is howling at the idea of you tossing my nephew into the lake last night."

"He needed to cool off a little," was all I replied. I wasn't sure if everyone knew we were caught shirtless together in my bedroom, but I wasn't going to spread that information.

"Fair enough. I was coming to get you." He capped off his cup. "Do you want a cup?"

"No thanks." I shook my head. "I'm not a coffee person."

"You might need a little kick to get through a library session with my sister." He smiled to suggest today would be a long day. "She's been known to go all day if needed, have meals sent down there. I also think she's ready to adopt Elena."

"I'm not surprised." I smiled, running a hand through my hair as my eyes scanned the breakfast spread laid out on the kitchen island. Seeing a stack of donuts, I wrapped two chocolate ones in a napkin and stuffed them in my pockets.

"Ready, Miss Zara?"

I nodded and followed him out the kitchen. We walked down another set of cream-walled hallways, away from the packhouse bedroom space. From two steps behind, my nose twitched at the smell of his coffee.

"Beta Valko?" I cleared my throat. "I know usually the Beta works for the Alpha, is that how it works here?"

His spine stiffened but he kept walking and nodded. "If you assume that Alpha Stephan assigning me and Seb to be Rashida's personal security is working for the alpha, then yes, I work for the alpha."

"Why would she need personal security?" My eyebrows drew together as we turned down a long hallway toward what I assumed was the library. I couldn't tell anymore.

All these walls look identical.

"Like the other packs, we train our warriors," he muttered. "But at the risk of sounding weak, most of our pack engages in non-combat activities. Alpha Stephan and Luna Rashida split routine alpha-beta responsibilities. Seb and I offer our assistance, but also serve as Rashida's security."

"I see." I hummed, with no idea what 'routine alpha-beta responsibilities' involved. I assumed from observing the Silverback pack that included the security-related details Lucus was in charge of.

"Rashida is in charge of the library, infirmary, and greenhouse. Alpha Stephen leads everything else," he clarified. "Given she's our youngest sister, Seb and I take our protection of her quite seriously."

"I can tell. Do you..." I swallowed a dryness that now crept up the back of my throat. "Get many rogue attacks here?"

"No." His wide shoulders shrugged. We walked down another hallway, the same nondescript cream walls passing us. "If anything, it's in the form of stealing from the greenhouse."

"I see..." I lied since again I had no idea what he meant. This greenhouse piqued my curiosity more than ever.

"And speaking of libraries, Miss Zara." He motioned one hand to a set of double glass doors. "Here we are."

I walked through the doors and gasped.

Their library competed for the most beautiful interior space I'd ever seen. The building was a large extension on the back of the packhouse, but so many beautiful details took my breath away.

And I'm not one for libraries.

Intricate wood railings with white lace-styled balusters curved their way through the four-story library. Rows and rows of intimately organized books were illuminated by giant globed chandeliers. Yellow-hued light cascaded down the cream-colored walls onto a black and white tile-patterned floor.

A few werewolves moved around the library. I smiled as we passed a group of young pups listening to a story being read. A few more restacked the shelves, smiling or nodding at me and Beta Valko.

"Here we are." He led me down a long, central, open area with larger black and white floor tiles until we saw a nondescript wooden doorway. Luna Rashida stood there, next to a large metal panel on the wall beside the door.

"Thank you, Valko." She nodded then shifted her attention to the metal panel.

I blinked with wide eyes as she passed a retinal scanner, voice code, and placed her palm on a screen for a handprint check. "This is a lot of security."

Luna Rashida turned on her heel. Her voice cut as sharp as a razor through the air. "What's more important to protect than the truth?"

"Oh." I averted my eyes.

Sighing, she placed a hand across my shoulders and guided me through the door. We took a small, claustrophobic elevator down three floors, and stepped out into a crowded, basement-like space lined with informal rows of book stacks. The stale air, smell of aged paper, and haphazard book organization all suggested fewer hands touched them.

"My personal library." She swept one arm forward. "Books for my eyes, so I request that you only read what I've approved for you."

Me reading extra is not going to be a problem.

"I promise, Luna Rashida."

Giving her a side look, I wasn't sure how much information she withheld. I couldn't see what political gain she'd have in doing so, but my rejection of Lucus so far proved that I'd been pretty terrible at political interactions.

"Down here, I'm Rashida." She smiled, drawing warmth into her eyes.

I returned her smile with one of my own, happy to drop the formalities.

And hopefully she's a lot more open than what I'm used to.

"I realize with your father's history, you have reason to suspect that I'm also hiding information from you."

Blinking wide eyes at her, again I felt as if she read my mind. My eyes passed over the rows of books, to a large circular table where Elena's brown curls sat behind mountains of books.

Warmth flowed from Rashida's palm into my shoulder. "Zara, I assure you that Elena has been working tirelessly on your behalf the past five days. So if nothing else, then trust her."

"Trust..." I glanced at the top of Elena's brown curly-haired head. "Isn't she working for my father?"

"Technically, no." Rashida's fingers patted my clavicle bone. "She works for me. We sent her to join his pack and work in his library. But her family is from the East."

"So... She was lying to me the whole time?" I gasped and my heart stuttered in my chest.

Elena was my best friend, my only friend. Raina was also a friend, in more of a 'I enjoy tackling you to the ground, pinning you into the mud, and kicking your butt' kind of friend. But I'd never assumed that Elena was capable of lying to me.

"No." Rashida's hand squeezed my shoulder. "I made it certain that Elena didn't know the truth either. She believed that what was in your father's library's book was the truth. She was quite upset the first day you arrived and I informed her otherwise... Both at the lack of truth and worried how you would take it."

So that's why she holed up here. She wasn't ready to confront me.

"I don't know," I mumbled more to myself. "It's getting harder to figure out who I can trust."

'Sand is good.'

I was never more grateful for Lumi's voice in my head. If anything, I knew I could always trust her.

"I hope that you can trust us." Rashida pointed ahead. Elena raised her head and gave me a smile, her eyes full of hesitation and concern. "She requested transferring to the Central territory pack once she heard your story, which I supported."

"My story?" My eyes blinked, adjusting to the faint lighting.

Elena's actions never gave me reason to doubt her. And there has to be some reason we can mindlink... right?

"Yes," Rashida broke through my thoughts, her hand on my shoulder guiding me to the table. "Unfortunately, the problem with books, or any document, is that despite being signed and confirmed, they ultimately have been written... By pens held by hands attached to people with intentions."

"How do you know this?" My voice hovered between a whisper and a breath.

She stopped and looked at me with her eyes pooling with emotion. A thick feeling of uncertainty spread between us.

Finally, her red lips parted, and she uttered, "Because I wrote them."

My heart dropped like a weighted stone into my stomach. Strain sagged my shoulders and my head dipped down.

She's... the source of the lies?

Why should I trust her?

Lumi made her snap judgment.

'Shouldn't.'

We should at least learn what she's offering, then figure out if it's the truth.

Glancing up under my lashes, the guilt burning in Rashida's eyes prompted my words. "I think I need more than two chocolate donuts."

"Full confession..." I looked up from the book Rashida passed me two hours and two chocolate donuts ago. "This is not working out so well."

"What do you mean?" Elena and Rashida looked up from their books.

"Luna Rashida..." My eyes shifted to hers. "You mentioned rewriting the books in my father's library."

"Yes." As she nodded, her eyes averted and voice softened, "I wrote books for all the territories' libraries, but only one full set that's here."

Her gaze roamed over the expansive piles spread over our table. "The false books reside in more than the island house he kept you in. After Elena confirmed your existence, I collected the true ones in anticipation of your arrival."

"Can't you tell me what's true and what's not?" That option was simpler than us reading through books in tandem silence. "I don't need all the details, only crib notes. Or even a true/false answer. I don't need it documented or evidence... I want to know the truth for myself."

"Well..." She leaned back in her seat and clasped her slender fingers over her book. "It was eighteen years ago, hence the books we're pawing through. But of course, ask away and I'll try my best."

"Elena, feel free to jump in here whenever you want." I glanced over at her. She nodded, her eyes softening. I took a deep breath and looked into Rashida's hazel eyes. "First, I'd like to know about me."

"Understandable." Rashida's long hair slipped over her shoulder as she nodded. "Specifically, where should we start?"

"Can I pick my own mate?" The mate selection question wasn't the most important one, just the first that came to my mind.

"The mate bond is an instant manifestation, an amplification if you will, of a hormonal, physical attraction," she answered, shaking her head. "As such, unnatural mate selection is fine for any wolf."

I stared at her while my brain absorbed and interpreted her words as, 'yes with a giant but attached.' Reading between her words, I clarified, "So... I'm not unique in this aspect?"

"No, I'm sorry." Her eyes shifted to Elena then back to mine. "As in all werewolves, a personal choice bond will always be weaker than the Moon Goddess' selection."

"It explains why I've had attractions..." I worked through my thoughts. "Even when knowing someone wasn't my mate."

"That is your human side's attraction," she clarified, grounding her elbow and cupping her chin in her palm. "The Moon Goddess' choice is the equivalent of your wolf's attraction, if that makes sense. Your wolf would initially reject any other mate, weaking that bond. But over time, it could become stronger once your wolf begins to accept it, even begrudgingly."

"From personal experience," Elena added in a soft, quiet voice. "The mate connection is nothing like what I assume a regular human-type relationship feels like."

"But it's possible." I looked down at my hands. While fighting against Lumi didn't sound very appealing, the possibility made me feel better against the possibility I never found my mate.

"Yes," Rashida's words flowed over me like oral reassurance. "I've seen it happen. Wolves of the same gender, for example. What's next?"

"Why do I affect unmated males?" Heat rose in my cheeks as my mind flooded with examples of unwanted attention. "They stare at me, like I'm an alien."

"Unmated males are more affected by any unmated female," Luna Rashida assured me with a cool, calm voice. "Especially during heat, when your scent is strongest."

Her eyes glinted as she added, "That part of the Art of Seductive Persuasion is correct."

'Wolf perfume.'

At least you can find humor in this, thanks Lumi.

"Maybe it's her scent?" As Elena looked up from across the table, the dim overhead lights cast a dull glare across her glasses. "Sorry Zara, but your scent is a bit... different."

"Different?" I fought the urge to sniff my armpits. "How so?"

"It's a mix of something sweet, something salty. Most female wolves have one scent, something sweet," she confessed with a shrug of her shoulders. "Sorry, I've never smelled that combination."

"You smell lovely." Rashida's smile widened. "I don't think that's it."

"Any guess then?" Mild tension formed between my eyebrows as they pulled together.

"It could be something within your ancestry." She waved her hand with an effortless movement. "My family line has an ancestor that was a witch, leading to our influential abilities. Healing in females, a bit different in males."

"Hold up, witches exist?" My eyes were as wide as they could stretch. Her tone was so casual, as if she'd spoken about anyone's grandmother. "Vampires too?"

"Witches are long extinct, as far as I know." Rashida's eyes sparkled before her lips parted and a soft chuckle escaped. "No vampires. Or zombies. Or Sasquatch."

"Wait, so Torak-" The tips of my fingers scratched absent patterns into my scalp as I attempted to fill in the blanks. "He's not a healer."

"No, but he does have an influential ability," she sighed and averted her eyes. "I'm sure you've felt it. He tends to use it to females' disadvantage, sending out a sort of magnetic draw to him. His pheromone level is high, even for an unmated nineteen year-old male."

"So, it has nothing to do with me." My voice teetered on whining.

Bowing my head, this time my eyes averted in admitting I was sensitive to Torak's 'ability' to inflict persuasion.

Luna Rashida released another soft sigh. When I dragged my gaze back to her face, her head was cocked sideways and her eyes studied me with more scrutiny than her open book.

The air thickened until she spoke, "I don't know. It might be something as simple as your distinctive features, the allure of the exotic, the unattainable. We don't have any white wolves walking around, here or anywhere else in the country."

"None?" Her words triggered another burning question, and my eyes darted between the two of them. "Speaking of, the white wolf-"

"More specifically?" Any tension in her face relaxed, only to be replaced with a stoic, almost clinical expression.

"Do I have to have a black wolf mate?" My voice laced with hesitation and I was thankful when Elena jumped in to guide Rashida to where my questions were headed.

"Zara's referring to this..." She passed a thick book with a worn, red binding to Rashida.

Luna Rashida ran a slender index finger down the edges like she caressed a lover's skin, parted the book open, and flipped through a few pages. Her eyes perused over both open pages and stopped on one paragraph. Her full lips parted and her smooth voice recited the passage Elena had referred towards.

"The white wolf is the rarest, only appearing in female form. She is the most powerful Luna, with the ability to communicate with the Moon Goddess and exert control over alphas, including selection of her own mate. A white wolf must mate with a black wolf to ensure proper balance flows within society."

"I assume those are the specifics you're referring to?" Her eyes, a dulled shade of yellow-hazel, lifted to mine and the corners of her lips twitched down.

"Yeah." My hair pitched over my shoulders as I leaned closer and nodded at the text. "That stuff."

"Lies."

Her palms closed the book shut with a quick snap. A sigh passed through her lips as her words pierced my heart. "All of it. By my own hand, in very cringe-worthy wording."

My lips parted open as the hard wood of my seat met my back again. Sagging down at her candid admission, my stomach clenched. With one declaration, she also set a sobering tone for her library lessons.

I knew white wolf powers were too good to be true.

She blinked, then ticked items off on her fingers one blow at a time, "The white wolf is rare, I've seen three in my lifetime - your mother, your brother, and you. The white wolf is not necessarily a powerful Luna. That comes from being the alpha's mate. You don't have the ability to control other alphas, you can't communicate with the Moon Goddess, and we've already thrown out the black wolf mate."

I sat for a few moments and absorbed the weight of her words. My heart thumped in my chest, not in response to her affirmations that separated truth from lies but in anticipation of what her response was to the next section on that very page.

"What about the rest of it..." My voice wavered as my eyes cast down to my lap. Out of my peripheral vision, I caught the second that a look of sympathy washed over Elena's face.

Rashida sighed again, reopened the book, and admitted further guilt while she repeated the words: "The white wolf is the only female wolf capable of marking her mate. Her mark is said to increase the power and stamina of her mate. But if a white wolf marks an untrue mate, then the mark is fatal..."

"Yes," I whispered, tears forming in the corners of my eyes.

That passage had been a source of strength for me the past two months and I dreaded any of that fantasy being shattered. Leaning forwards, I braced myself for the answer I already knew.

"Poetic words." Her voice soaked with remorse and her eyes traveled over the words, "But false."

My back sank against my chair as my lips parted and a silent gasp escaped. My entire body froze, my eyes couldn't blink, my mouth couldn't form words, I stared at Luna Rashida.

The only sound that cut through the thick tension was Lumi whimpering from the back of my mind. Reality sunk in with a weighted heaviness like gravity had pulled me down harder.

I'm not powerful.

I'm not special.

I'm a weak, pathetic girl.

'Not weak.'

For once, I wasn't sure if I believed Lumi. And for the first time since I met her, the hint of timidness in Lumi's voice indicated she wasn't so sure anymore either. Her uneasiness that shifted through my mind was the most horrible feeling.

Closing my eyes, hot tears rolled up under my lids. They tipped over the rims of my eyes, tickling my cheeks as they trailed down.

The stale air of the Eastern territory's basement library was thick and uncomfortable. So was my seated position, slumped over in an uncomfortable wooden chair that I felt an urge to toss against one of these stacks of books.

"I'm sorry, Zara." After I sniffled, Elena cleared her throat. "Perhaps we should take a break."

"No." Opening my eyes, I snapped in a tone that was colder than I intended. "I'm sorry, I need to know the truth. No matter how painful."

"Understandable," Luna Rashida interjected in a soft but resolved voice as her fingers closed the book she used to reveal my insignificance. "What's next?"

"Lunas." I sniffled again, directing my eyes to hers. "How are they chosen?"

"Only if they are an alpha's mate."

Indirectly, she reiterated that there was no automatic guarantee that I was a future Luna. Frankly, that information washed waves of comfort over me. From the very first time Elena had mentioned this up to now, I had no sense of confidence that I'd live up to the hype of pack Luna.

"I'm sorry, that's another source of your father trying to exert control over you, leading you to assume that you had some choice with this mate selection... process," Rashida offered in a voice so gentle, she sounded like she spoke to a child.

"How many other packs know this?" My cheeks puffed, releasing a loud puff of air to hide my disappointment. "All of these particular, uhh, myths about me?"

"This version of the book." Rashida lifted the false version off the desk, which the chair-throwing part of me wanted to toss into a firepit and light up with gasoline. "Is within every other pack's library. Only our pack's leaders and your father know the truth."

"So then..." My arms folded over my chest and my eyes narrowed. "Why all this fake mate traveling? Why four selections?"

"That's what we don't know." Luna Rashida's eyes rounded. "I don't know what game your father is playing. But if he's gone to this extent to manipulate you and three out of the other four territories' packs, then it's in everyone's best interest that you continue to play along until we do know."

"Play along," I repeated as my mouth hung open. Under the soft intensity of her gaze, her head cocked sideways, and eyes fixated on mine, my hips squirmed in my seat.

I don't want her feeling sorry for me, I just want the truth.

"Until the entire truth is revealed." Her slow response came off like she chose her words carefully. Her eyes shifted to Elena's, then back to mine. She pursed her lips and paused.

"I am sorry, Miss Zara." Her voice did sound genuine, "I can and I will give you all the answers that I have, but I do not have all of them. Others you will find in the Western territory, so I would recommend that you continue the charade long enough to visit there next."

I looked at her with what I assumed was a blank look on my face since thoughts weren't registering in my brain.

"Your father provided you with extensive security detail, although it's wiser to assume that they're working in his interests rather than yours," she rushed.

She had a point, since the three of us were here in her library. Realizing her uneasiness from dinner stemmed from my father's security detail, I sat and studied her face until her beautiful features blurred. Her actions up to now, that she admitted the truth at the cost of having her involvement exposed, asked for nothing in return, and allowed her pack to heal me from my father's inflicted wounds didn't suggest that they acted against me.

But how can I know? I'm lied to so much.

That said, I wasn't ready to discuss political strategies with her or, well, anyone. I wasn't even sure I could trust Elena past a potential source of information.

"Torak," I changed the subject. "Does he know all this?"

"He knows the truth of your mate selection. But he's willing to pretend otherwise as long as you're here." Her lips pulled into a charming, amused smile. "Even after you tossed him into the lake last night."

"How many..." My throat tightened, choking off my words.

Rashida counted on her manicured fingers, "Me, Stephan, Torak, Rose, Elena, and... Cole, I assume?" Her eyes shifted to Elena, who nodded. "The last two were informed while you were in the infirmary. I promise you no others within my own pack know about the farce your father is presenting you with."

My spine stiffened as I sat back in my seat and my eyes widened the more information soaked in.

The mate selection is all a hoax.

Or maybe a game?

No, a lie.

My entire life - this orchestrated trip, mate selection, who I was - was a lie. I assumed based on all the information I had was that this charade was a form of control or power move on my father's behalf.

Again, even when the truth faced me directly, I couldn't find the answer to the question I wanted to ask about anything in relation to my father's actions or decisions. The answer I needed to know, the answer my heart beat pains into my chest to know, was never available to me.

Why?

For the first time in my life, I resolved to live my life solely to answer that question. No matter what the cost was, my life would continue to be a lie until I found the answers that I needed.

What could be so important to my father to orchestrate all of this?

Why surround me in such a web of deceitful lies that I can't recognize fact from fiction anymore?

My hand ran over my right shoulder and the pads of my fingers rubbed at one of my scars. While the motivations behind my father's plans were unknown, it was abundantly clear that whatever game he played, he was willing to kill me to win.

Whatever he wants is more important than his daughter.

A shudder ran through my shoulders and down my spine at the thought and more hot tears emerged from my eyes.

The air felt stale in my mouth. A lump formed in my throat, the tears threatened to spill over the corners of my eyes, and my breath hitched.

I need to get out of here. Now.

'Run?'

Relief flooded through me, closing my eyes when Lumi shared the same sentiments. I couldn't imagine she liked hearing about this information either.

Both of us need fresh air.

I pushed my chair back from the table and winced at the loud screech the legs made against the cement floors.

"Zara -" Luna Rashida stopped when I shook my head.

We reached the point where my brain couldn't have processed any more no matter how hard I tried. "I need a break," I mumbled.

She nodded then mindlinked Beta Valko, who appeared at the door entrance. I followed him, cupping my elbows in my palms and keeping my eyes on the floors, until I left the library.

"I trust your session was educational?" he asked as we passed back through the main library. The colorful rows of books blurred from the tears building in the corners of my eyes.

"Something like that," I whispered.

As my strength to hold my emotions together slipped away, I sprinted to the exit. Slamming my palms, I pushed the doors open with a bang and shifted into Lumi's form. I didn't even care that the shift stretched and ruined my clothes as I took off and ran off.

I didn't know where I was going, moving as quickly and desperately as possible with Lumi's leg strength.